>Xavier: Your TAUNTS fail to attract the HYDRA'S attention. Instead of chasing after you, the injured head attempts to gnaw off its own neck, and the two new ones proceed to help.
Yeah, it doesn't look like it plans on chasing you up onto land.
>Chas: Instead of making it to the Second Village, you are unexpectedly detained by a MYSTERIOUS MALFUNCTION with your JETPACK. Said malfunction is very mysterious in nature, and likely cannot be fixed by any tools or techniques you have on hand.
You get the very strange and oddly specific feeling that the malfunction will cease if you admit to a mistake made by yourself in another plane of existence. A very recent plane of existence. Muhahahahahahaha.
>Rich: You check out the SHOP's inventory. It's pretty bland, for the most part. Nothing really new or interesting.
PINK FEATHER. 1 BOONDOLLAR.
BLUE FEATHER. 2 BOONDOLLARS.
YELLOW FEATHER. 4 BOONDOLLARS.
WORM. 5 BOONDOLLARS.
1/2 WORM. 10 BOONDOLLARS.
OTHER PINK FEATHER. 250 BOONDOLLARS.
OTHER HARD HAND COVERING. 1,500 BOONDOLLARS.
After making whatever purchases you make, you head out to the closest of the STRANGE MACHINES. You land on the cloud said machine is perched upon, and find yourself facing a handful of IMPS and a couple OGRES.
Sheriff Quickdraw takes to the skies, and begins providing covering fire. Half his shoots are way off, most of the rest are near-misses, but a very small percentage hit a couple IMPS. So, better then nothing, I suppose.
Not exactly the answer you were hoping for, but it's a start. Jack may not have known it, but he just slipped up a nice little bit of information. Specifically, that he's met with another of the kids already. While it may not seem like much, it's a big start on getting a leg up on this wily bastard. Your DETECTIVE GAMBIT rises to new heights as you walk away. You then remember you can fly, and soar up to the highest point of DERSE. You suppose if you're going to FLY TO PROSPIT yourself, you should probably figure out where it is.
>Godly Being: Refuse to have your feelings of rage and hate and rage and loathing and rage and annoyance and rage assuaged. Nah, it's all good man. It's all good.
You direct the attack towards one of the OGRES and use your JETPACK to weave inbetween said OGRES, hoping to induce friendly fire and/or force your foes to stop attacking in order to avoid it.
>Dirk: Well, you're right about one thing. Jack did let slip that he's met at least one of your friends. The question is, was said information leak intentional, or a mere slip of the tongue? You're playing a dangerous game, trying to outwit Jack Noir. That guy's got so many irons. He's got all the irons, in fact. And guess where the irons are?
Anyway, you fly up really, really high. As it turns out, there is not a whole lot of stuff around Derse; other than the moon, there's only darkness, grimdarkness, and a far-off belt of what looks like meteors or something. Although, now that you look closer, you can see a few glimmers of light shining from the meteors.
>Chas: Your expectations are somewhat misplaced. You left Dash Overcoat at the Second Village no longer than a day ago; it's not like he's had time to turn the entire place into some Film-Noir landscape. In fact, as you land in the village square, Dash isn't anywhere to be seen; there's just another bunch of GECKOS. Nuts.
Your STRETTO BURST is powerful enough to wipe out both OGRES, and causes havoc among the remaining IMPS. Disorganized and panicking, they scatter, leaving the STRANGE MACHINE unprotected.
Well, not quite unprotected. You can see a black-carapaced figure fiddling with the inner workings of the large device, muttering something under his breath.
>Xavier: Now we're cooking with petrol! Your various delivery-based attacks deal a large amount of damage to the HYDRA'S current three heads. There we go, that oughta take care of things...
Huh. The heads are still growing back. That looks like, uh... six heads now? Yeah, six heads.
>Rich: You manage to sneak up on the strange Dersite, and are soon close enough to actually observe him. He seems to be wearing a navy jumpsuit, a pair of black gloves, and has a large MONKEY WRENCH strapped to his back.
"Life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is fun, life is... GRAGH! You made me lose count!
Yeah, it would seem that your sneaking has failed to escape his senses. Turning away from the machine, the figure glares at you.
-- elwoodSprite [ES] began messaging ghostKnight [GK] at 15:01 -- ES: So, what can I do for ya? GK: Well,I am curious if Rich is still around by any chance. ES: Nah, don't think so. He ran off somewhere with his weird little friend. ES: But, it gives me time to get the band working, so I'm not complaining. GK: Ahh,I see.Drat.I had hoped to catch him,both to see if he was still alive since I haven't heard from him in a bit and second to fill him in on some things. ES: Well, yeah, of course he's still alive. ES: He might be a little crazy, but he'll be fine. Probably. GK: I am pretty sure we all are somewhat at this point. GK: Watching your planet and race be destroyed by meteors would do that to you. GK: But,we must endure and keep moving to the future. ES: Yeah, sure, that sounds like a good idea. GK: Do you have any idea where he may have gone? GK: Not to sound rude,of course. ES: Probably took a ride through the Third Gate. ES: I'd imagine he'd be on someone else's Land by now. ES: Do you know who his server is? Cause that's where he likely ended up landing. GK: Oh goody..those terms again...let me think a moment.. GK: I believe..if my memory is right..that would have been Beth...only problem is she is...dead... ES: Well. That's a bit of a problem, ain't it? GK: A bit.So,would it be safe to assume that he would get tossed to the next person in line? GK: In what ever order these gates go. ES: Knowing Sburb, yeah, that's what it'd do. ES: So, he's probably on Beth's server's Land. Whoever that is. GK: I just have to find who that is then.Thanks for help. ES: Yeah, no problem kid. Good luck, I guess. GK: Thank you.Oh and good luck with your little,umm,band... ES: Yeah... I'll get it working eventually. GK: Oh,before I go. GK: Do you know what caused that big whole in the house?And was it a dude with a laser fixation by any chance? ES: I'm going to say, probably. GK: I see....hmm..well again thanks for everything. /bow ES: Yeah, no worries. ES: See ya around. -- ghostKnight [GK] stopped messaging elwoodSprite [ES] at 15:18 --
You thank the SPRITE once again for all his help then start to head northward.
Granted you have no idea where you are going,which on reflection might have been a good question to ask the SPRITE,but you figure you might as well do a bit of exploring.Who knows what you might stumble upon?
You do cheat alittle and use your Spacey Powers to jump you ahead a few feet every now and then.Might as well get to practicing what Spacey stuff you have available while you can.You never know when you might get the chance later.
You think. You think, and you think, and you think think think until your little thinker is all thunk out. But you can't think of a way to reach Prospit. You suspect that Prospit is somewhere in that far-off meteor belt. By which you mean you're entirely certain it is, specifically one of the flecks of light. You pride yourself on remaining one step ahead of everything with your thorough knowledge of tropes, cliches, and plot devices. And since this is a game, you reason there's plenty to be found and exploited here.
Your current thought pertains to the extremely disturbing voices currently attempting to ear-rape you. As dark as they may appear to be, they're probably meant as some sort of trickster mentor. And as you, personally, are well aware, a good (by which you mean particularly cunning) mentor such as they would give you a few freebie bits of advice before they started demanding souls and shit.
So you whisper to yourself a question. "How can I reach Prospit from here?"
You don't worry whether or not they can hear you. They can definitely hear you. Dark eldritch beings and all.
You try to start on the right foot by introducing yourself. You then politely answer that you're simply wondering why he isn't hostile towards you, when all his comrades seem quite eager to murder the living shit out of you. You also wonder what he's doing. And what his name is, if you might be so bold.
>Greg: As you begin to wander around the Land of Glass and Flame, you're greeted by various Underlings and enemies, mostly IMPS, with a few scattered OGRES and BASILISKS here and there. A few of them shoot you dirty looks, but none dare attack you. Seems your armor is quite intimidating.
After exploring for a while (And not getting tired at all! These shoes are awesome.) you finally stumble across a LOCATION OF POSSIBLE INTEREST, a gigantic glass pyramid, towering into the sky. Its surface is clouded, impossible to see through. However, a few well placed geysers of flame mark an ornate entrance. Said doorway is mostly an open hole, leading down a dimly lit passageway. However, blocks of crystalline glass have been molded around this threshold; clearly someone put a lot of time and effort into designing this place.
Carved on the blocks, you can see several faint markings, hieroglyphs of some kind. These carvings strike you as varied; their content seems to be almost entirely unrelated. You make out what seems to be an erupting volcano (Eerily similar to the one by your house), an enormous hammer, a massive pile of Grist, a tadpole, and a circle covered by clouds, with a Spirograph set in its center.
>Dirk:Why do you seek those hallowed halls, that sphere of light? There our thoughts can never reach. Come, stay in the dark. Listen to our calls. Let us tell you of the unknown past, the clouded present, the forgotten future.
Yeah, doesn't look like the dark eldritch beings intend to be that helpful. They're probably kind of bored, being out here all alone in the grim grimdarkness of the Furthest Ring. You're probably the most excitement they've had in a looooooong time.
However, you do notice that you're able to fly further and further away from Derse, without too much trouble. Doesn't look like gravity has any effect on you while you're in this body. Which probably breaks a few laws of physics or something. You get the feeling that Newton would be spinning in his grave, had it not been destroyed by meteors, if he knew what you were doing right now.
>Rich: You proceed to have a conversation with the GARRULOUS SUNDERER. It's probably very interesting and fun to read.
And now it actually happened. So, let's take a look!
-- garrulousSunderer [GS] began messaging truculentConservationist [TC] at 15:55 -- GS: Can I help you with something? TC: Well, I'm just sort of curious as to why you aren't hostile towards me. TC: I'm Rich, by the way. GS: Well, hello Rich. Let me tell you a story. A sad, sad story. GS: It's the story of a poor, innocent Dersite, who just wants to go about his life, wasting it in indolence and pleasure. GS: It's the story of a cruel, industrious Queen, who forces the poor Dersite to do her bidding, to serve her every whim and to fulfill every tedious task she assigns him. GS: It's the story of a rude, stuck-up Denizen, and his annoying, superfulous plan to cover a world in storms. GS: It's a very sad story, it makes me feel all depressed just thinking about it. GS: Wait, that gives me a brilliant idea! I just won't think about it! TC: Well, I'm rather sorry to hear all of that. GS: Huh? Oh, thanks. Wait, I've never seen you before. TC: I'm one of the heroes. GS: What heroes? TC: Huh. Most people seemed to know us by that name. GS: Are you calling me most people? TC: Basically, the ones who are playing Sburb and fighting Derse for questionable reasons and unknown rewards. TC: I wouldn't dream of it. GS: Good. Because if there's one thing I'm not, it's most people. TC: I got that impression. GS: Most people don't do anything with their lives. They just go around, doing what they're told, leading a meaningless existence, purposeless, pointless, nothingness. GS: Too afraid to break through the tedium of their boring routines, too stupid to reach out and find the things that make life worth living! GS: It just boils me up inside thinking about all those people living that way! Grrrrrr, how dare they waste the magnificent gift that has been given them? GS: Hey, how do you live your life, huh? What're your plans, your goals? TC: My goal is to beat a game that destroyed my planet; it's a goal for no reason beyond other people telling me I should do so. TC: I am not terribly satisfied with these goals, as you might imagine. GS: Hmm, I see. You're trapped in a cycle of tedium, trying to accomplish tasks for reasons you don't understand. GS: Tedium is a crime. GS: It takes the limited amount of time that is given to man and rather than spending it in indolence or drowning it in pleasure, it just sits there, sucking, eatting it up. I can't put up with that. GS: Tedium is a crime! GS: Death to tedium! GS: Die die, won't you die now, die die die! GS: Die you! Die ME! TC: Um. GS: Yes? TC: I'm not honestly sure whether you're threatening me. GS: Don't be silly, I'm threatening tedium. TC: It was a bit difficult to tell. GS: Sorry, I tend to get that way when I'm excited. GS: That's why I have to be a bit bored every now and then. Keeps me calmed down. GS: Time spent in boredom is good. TC: Is it now. GS: I think it's what allows the climaxes in life to reach their ultimate state of perfection GS: At least that's what I'm going to choose to think that that is the way life has been laid out for us this fine day anyway. GS: There is nothing tedious in the whole world, at least not during these exciting times. TC: What's so exciting about them? TC: They're certainly exciting for me, but you weren't aware of my quest until several minutes ago. GS: Well, nowadays there's so much stuff for me to break! GS: I get to break ships, I get to break tanks, I get to break buildings, I get to break places, I get to break things, I get to take them all apart! GS: Apart apart apart apart apart apart apart apart. TC: ...Ah. GS: A nyway, yes, life is exciting! Life is worth living! Tell me Rich, why is life worth living?! TC: I don't know. GS: ...You don't know? GS: Are you trying to tell me that I'm wrong, that life isn't worth living? GS: ARE YOU? HUH? TC: I don't know. GS: Are you trying to convince me that my life is pointless, that my existence is pointless, that EVERYTHING IS POINTLESS? GS: Is that what you're trying to tell me?! TC: I. Don't. Know. GS: He doesn't know? How can he not know... is it possible that he hasn't thought about these things? GS: Maybe this poor lad simply hasn't been taught to think about these very important things, maybe he's never learned how to even think! GS: Oh, what a sad, sad story. It breaks my heart to tell it. TC: I've learned how to think, I just don't know what to think. GS: Oh? Then maybe this sad story can have a happy ending after all! GS: Tell me, GS: Rich, why are you here, on this cloud, talking to me, at this very moment? Why? TC: Because someone told me I should come here. GS: Huh. You're making the ending kind of boring. GS: Alright then, let's try something else! GS: What do you like to do? TC: I like to listen to music. GS: Music is good, music is good. GS: Anything else? Anything that fills you with glee, that makes you the happiest guy in the entire world? TC: Well...no, not that I can think of. GS: Huh. You're kind of a boring kid, aren't you? GS: I don't know whether I should feel sad for you or feel mad at you. TC: Great. TC: Well, actually, I can think of one more thing. TC: Flying. GS: Well now, isn't that interesting? You want to learn how to fly; now that's an interesting goal. TC: I've already learned. GS: Well, that's even better then! GS: Tell me, how do you feel when you fly? GS: How does life feel? TC: Weightless. TC: Like I can ignore all my problems so long as I don't touch the ground. GS: Is life worth living then? TC: Yes. GS: Well, there we go then! That's what I wanted to hear. GS: I think I'm finally okay now. GS: No, wait! GS: I've surpassed being okay! GS: I'm so okay that I think my okay brain is finally okay! GS: Are you feeling okay? TC: I'm feeling okay, I guess. GS: THAT'S... okay. GS: Well. That was fun. That was really, really fun. TC: I'm, uh, glad to hear that. GS: But now, I need to resume my sad, sad story. TC: By all means. GS: Maybe someday it'll have an ending. TC: Most do. GS: I hope it will. GS: So long, Rich. GS: Don't get killed or anything. TC: No promises. -- garrulousSunderer [GS] stopped messaging truculentConservationist [TC] at 17:07 --
GS walks back over to the STRANGE MACHINE, and begins tinkering with it. He resumes his muttering as well.
Well. That was... interesting. Yes, let's go with interesting.
>Chas: The GECKOS gibber in outraged tones as you soar away, furious at how you treated them. But, we're not focusing on the Consorts, we're looking for Dash Overcoat! Now if only you could actually find him...
Hmm... you suddenly notice a large swarm of purple and golden ships flying around, a few miles from your current location. Further inspection reveals a large gathering of Underlings, Dersites, Prospitians, and various Consorts. Interestingly, none of them are attempting to kill each other; things seem to be rather peaceful in fact.
Oh god you're going to break everything aren't you?
>Xavier: Stabs not fixing your problems? Use even more stabs! That's sure to work!
Your DELIVERY-THEMED PUN ATTACK manages to mangle, destroy, tear-up, shatter, crush, slaughter, and various other words the HYDRA'S current heads. Okay, there we go. That's gotta be it. It's gotta be dead now, right? There's no way anything could recover from an attack like that, right? I mean, that'd just be the dumbest, most idiotic thing ever (With the exception of 2X Ax-kind. I mean, why is that even a thing?).
Oh. The heads are growing back. Again. That's twelve rather pissed off fang filled heads glaring at you. Well, good news is that this monster is probably worth a metric shit-ton of experience at this point.
It might be time for you to stop stabbing, and try some other form of attack.
"I'll be back." you whisper to the Dark Ones. You feel kind of bad for abandoning them, now that you realize how lonely it must be out there. But still, if they're not going to be helpful then you can't afford to get all sympathetic and unproductive.
You hope the trip won't take too long. You really need to get back to work on God Tier-reaching soon.
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