What if Videogame Characters could use FML...

[AgDr_ODST]

Well an alien armada, invaded, attacked and all but completely destroyed our Military stronghold planet, and most of my fellow super soldiers have died trying to defend the planet. my ride off the planet finds a ring world that winds up being a weapon that will destroy all life in the universe to stop a parasitic race of aliens, the ships captain gets turned into a parasite, before I destroy the ring world thinking that's it. The alien armada finds and attacks Earth, Leading to us finding another ring world, kill 1 of the armada's religious leaders before running into one of the leaders of the parasites and one of the split lipped aliens. Forge an uneasy alliance with the alien bastard, in try to stop this other ring from firing I have to leave my AI companion behind to return to earth again...this time traveling on an ancient alien ship. Fight off the aliens(and the parasites) on earth with the help of the split lip and his race, while getting visions of my AI friend, travel through a portal and find the control center for these ring worlds, try to stop both the armada and the parasite, two tough as nails non-super soldier friends friends die in the process but not before I rescue my AI companion before leaving the control world as it shakes itself apart now me and my AI lady friend are drifting through space and she could go crazy due to knowledge overload anytime now! FML

-SJ117

 

[Byere]

Today, I was in the middle of a game (where I'm like totally awesome and the best) and this giant bubble of water destroys my home city and start starts firin' its lazors at us. Then, my dad's friend appears and helps me beat up part of whatever the hell that thing was, only to start talking to the air and throw me into a pillar of light. Now I'm stuck in some weird place where there's no technology or stuff and everyone thinks my sport is like a religion or something. FML

awesomeBBdude

 

[pantheress]

Today, my wedding was interrupted, my groom killed, and my cousin raped. Then I was drafted into some weird cult that makes you drink blood that MIGHT KILL YOU and then go kill monsters until you die an early death. Also? My wedding dress was totes ruined. FML.

-BloodyBrideTabris

I agree, your life sucks (14250) - You totally deserved it (1)

Comments

lol pwned
#1 - by xXVaughanXx

you win the thread. it was the "totes" that did it.

OT:
i just found out the cake is a lie. why didn't anyone tell me this before?! FML.
-shall_not_be_mourned

 

[Emurlahn]

So, my wife dies, and I do some weird ritual to bring her back to life. Turns out it wasn't exactly my wife I brought back, the ***** kills me. THEN, 25 years after some stupid elf revives me, so I can kill my wife's body. FML

-TheOldK

Also, page claim!

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Gt Cocked blocked by a sexy Asari MILF who put her work above her "feelings." FML

-shepmass2

 

[Toeys]

"I started working for my brother's plumbing company in hopes of a steady job. Then he fed me magic mushrooms and made me go on this wild chase after an imaginairy princess, who is always in another castle. FML"

- myuglyfatbrothergetsallthegirls

 

[TheKruzdawg]

"So I spend all night telling criminals who I am, for somehow they don't already know. Then when I get to change and go to a party, I realize how closely 'Who are you?' and 'How are you?' sound alike. Now everyone knows who I am...FML"

NotBatman001

 

[Vern5]

OH GOD!! EVERYTHING LOOKS LIKE BOXES!! FML!!11!!!!1!!

-CreeperHater42

 

[Ildecia]

"Today i realized i need like 500 more pokemon to be a master. FML"

-PkmnTrnr

 

[HT_Black]

"Today I was manning the bridge, doing a good job; when right the hell out of nowhere the engineer stabs me in the spine. FML"

~Awesomeaussie13:1

"So my techmarine shows up stranded in the jungle after we all think he's dead, and we go to rescue him. Then he goes all "PSYCH!" on me, pulls a tank out of his ass, and shoots me in the face. FML"

~FCVIce

 

[Russian_Assassin]

I don't want to hurt his feelings, he is the only family I have in America after all, but I can't hang out with him all the time! I am working my ass off to help him and he gets mad whenever I reject his calls. He won't let me use his taxis anymore! FML!

Niko

----------------------

Mom kicked me out of the house today, said I should go on an adventure or something, but I don't fucking want to! Why does everyone assume I want to become the best of the region all of a sudden? All these critters assaulting me and those deranged people who genuinely believe I have nothing better to do than battle them are really pissing me off! I haven't slept in days and I swear to god if I ever hear Blue say "Smell ya later" I am going to beat him to death with a wild Metapod! My only comfort is the warmth and company my little Charmander provides me with... FML.

RED69

 

[Coratto]

----
No one believes me, I should have let those fuckers die to those robots.
ComParagon
---
I killed my family, and I have no one to blame but myself. FML.
GodofKnives
---
There was no treasure in the vault. FML.
PandoraHunter
----
I'm last in the polls fml
Newchief
----
The townspeople tore down the statue I built of me after the Cataclysm fml.
Logosh
----
There was no cake fml.
Hairyplumber
---
I killed my father with a 9 iron fml.
RaptureCult654
---
I dropped out of elementary school to follow my dreams. Now I'm 43, unemployed and not a Pokemon Master. FML
---
I left my life savings in a pot and some kid in a tunic took it fml.
Defective409
---
Today, someone shot me with a blue shell right as I was about to cross the finish line. There was no way of avoiding it, and the guy who shot it was in last place and had no chance of winning. He did it just to be a dick. I was punished for doing well. FML
MushroomToad541
---
Today I finally hatched. Only to be captured by two italians. They rode me around for days and the only way I could escape was by jumping off a cliff. FML.
GreenDino64
---
I was going to retire next week.
6thNoble

***
I know its a lot but I had fun thinking these up.

 

[The Night Shade]

"Today, after jumping over lava pits, stomping on undead monstrosities and mutant muderous reptiles, I finally got to the end room ready to rescue the princess... Only to find out she's in another castle. FML"

GreenPlumber Mushroom Kingdom

Points for Originality 0

 

[sgtshock]

I saw a mudcrab the other day near the water. FML.
-GenericNPC24

I agree, your life sucks (32) - You totally deserved it (0)

Comments:
Such horrible creatures. I hope to never see another!
#1 - by GenericNPC08

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Today, I went to the mall and fell asleep in a happy burger. When I woke up if it wasn't bad enough, this weird detective wouldn't stop following me and asking me stuff. Now I'm trapped in the girl's bathroom and he won't go away. FML.
-BlondesHaveMorefun17

 

[KillMeOnceMore]

"That kid wearing green broke into my house and smashed all my pots again today. FML"

- Hyrule_Resident101

 

[robot slipper]

Today, I shoved a very long concealed blade deep into the heart of the person I was sent to assassinate. Even that wouldn't convince him to shut up and die quietly - he has been chatting to me for 5 minutes. Now his guards have surrounded me. FML.

-SassyAssassin42

 

[Viking Incognito]

"......................." FML
-Gordan Freeman

 

[MoosieMann]

Today i woke up to find that i am being forced out of my house by my mother, to meet with a senile old man who can't even remember his own grandson's name, who is making me enslave a bunch of powerful (and possibly hungry) monsters, while walking nonstop for miles upon end. IM NOT EVEN 10! FML
-Red

 

[Harry Mason]

"Drove through a little, quiet vacation spot today, only to have my daughter disappear and get attacked by skinless dogs. Then I unintentionally assisted in waking up a Demon.
Also, my face is made of legos. FML."

NotJmesSunderland87

Today, I went to the mall and fell asleep in a happy burger. When I woke up if it wasn't bad enough, this weird detective wouldn't stop following me and asking me stuff. Now I'm trapped in the girl's bathroom and he won't go away. FML.
-BlondesHaveMorefun17

Best one in the thread.