What if Videogame Characters could use FML...

Veret

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Apr 1, 2009
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revolutionaification said:
It was a rather poor representation of Okami.
This just gets better and better with each post; 'ShepardTheShepherd' made me laugh at the best/worst possible moment: On an unwanted phone-call to the one person on this Earth I'd actually deem an enemy, she asks me whether I think she can sing well or not, and the rest is history.

Anyway:

Today, I visited an old friend. Instead of going for a few drinks or catching up, I proceeded to steal the family dog, headbutt a family member, murder gratuitous amounts of the local wildlife, and get hit on. FML.

-ThresherThrasher
__________

Today, my mum sent me over to the neighbour's house and he told me I had to get out of town, shoved a wild animal at me and started asking what his grandson's name was. My mother thinks this is totally normal and even offered to keep hold of my money while I'm out there, ALONE. FML.

-Kant-oBelieveIt
__________

Today, I met my girlfriend's mum for the first time. She went psycho, attacked us, and, well... I ended up killing her. That's gonna be awkward come Christmas. FML.

-SheepishShephard
__________

Today, I discovered that every time I kiss my girlfriend there's a chance she'll start hallucinating. Guess how we figured this out?
She's still convinced I'm Harbinger...FML.

-NotGettingAny
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Today, I found out my boyfriend's a hallucinogen. MLIA.

-Spectre4Life(&Death)
I'm glad that Shepard's untimely suffering and trauma could help brighten your day! The "MLIA" on that last one had me cracking up so hard...and I may have to start another survivor Shepard just to name her "ThresherThrasher."

Anyway, I got one more for you before I go to bed:

Today, the commander got a new dermal regenerator to heal the scars on her face. She won't let me use it. Now there's no platinum left to upgrade my rifle, the commander's boning a hallucinogenic space-lizard, and my face STILL looks like I slept on a fucking angle grinder. FML.

-CaLibr8
 

Nicholas Woodruff

Cynical Cynic
Jan 2, 2011
70
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Today, I met one of my friends at a party. After a few drinks, we hooked up for a night of passion and excitement. We're both straight dudes. FML
FlyingHawke
 

mrdude2010

New member
Aug 6, 2009
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Today, I was trying to save the world, and for some strange reason every couple levels, most notably when i was hanging out in the gravemind and DEFINITELY needed my fucking senses to survive, cortana keeps popping into my head and saying weird random ass messages based on her broken programming. It drove me insane!. FML
-commanderinMasterChief
 

Ignatz_Zwakh

New member
Sep 3, 2010
1,408
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Today I lost my son in a shopping mall while bitchin' out a freaky clown. I found him just as a dude in a rental car plowed right into him. FML Ethan_The_Martiandad.
 

IronStorm9

New member
Jun 15, 2010
186
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Today, some fuckhead decided to start the Apocalypse early. My siblings sleep like logs so I was the first one there and I get blamed for it! FML
-GoodGodYall666
 

Candlejack

New member
Apr 14, 2009
32
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Had to fist fight a pile of vomit today. He says he'll be back. FML.
-Rockin'Kid01

I'm really getting sick of the color blue. FML.
-PsiGirl

My neighbor still won't be my friend, and now I have to summon the embodiment of evil. FML.
-Pokey_Pig

Everything is wonderful here. FML.
-MoonMoonMoonsidesideside
 

The Sandvich

New member
Jul 17, 2009
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Today, I was sent on a mission to retrieve an operations playbook from a small house. After defending it from what seemed like the entire Russian army, I finally got it to the extraction point...only to get shot and burned alive by my own fucking general. FML

Roach (Dunno how he'd post this, seeing as he's, y'know...dead)
______________________________

...*sigh*

Always_Bet_On_The_Duke
 

marblemadness

New member
May 26, 2010
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I just need to say this: I'm soooo impressed with the community on Escapist -- if this were IGN or Gametrailers, there would be 50 people off topic trolling, or calling the OP a dumbass or something....
 

mysecondlife

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Feb 24, 2011
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I unleashed the so called Sands of time, turning my father and others into sand monsters, and now I am paired up with stupid slave girl who can't aim for jack shit as she keeps shooting at me with her bow and arrow FML

-PersianNinjaGuy
 

mysecondlife

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Feb 24, 2011
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The Sandvich said:
Today, I was sent on a mission to retrieve an operations playbook from a small house. After defending it from what seemed like the entire Russian army, I finally got it to the extraction point...only to get shot and burned alive by my own fucking general. FML

Roach (Dunno how he'd post this, seeing as he's, y'know...dead)
______________________________

a general with no clear motive of why he betrayed the main character. F his life indeed.
 

pearcinator

New member
Apr 8, 2009
1,212
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after searching for days looking for some diamond I finally found some. I stood over the top and started to mine through it...only to fall 20 ft into a pit of lava and die. FMD (fuck my death)

blockyminer14
 

Skops

New member
Mar 9, 2010
820
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So get this, was makin a routine search mission with mah alpha team (gawd we're so awesome), then some crazy ass rabid dogs attack us. OF COURSE this is always a great time for our helicopter to just peace out on us. But, we cool, we're alpha team bitches. We made it to this HUGE mansion, but one of us ended up gettin locked out. sucks to be him right? then our captain Wesker (he's so hawt and smooth) just up and gtfo's without a trace. NOW I'm stuck in this creepy mansion with some 40 year old geezer who constantly makes awful creepy suggestive puns at me all day.. FML!

P.S. WTF Is a JILL SANDWICH SOPPOSED TO BE?! UGH!!

-yourvalentine
 

SageSays

New member
Mar 17, 2011
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Woke up in a strange bed with a blinding headache. A strange man said that I had been shot in the head and that he had saved my life, but was concerned about whether my brain might be scrambled. Since he was happy to pay me for things that were lying around his house I figured he wasn't much of an authority and I soon convinced him to let me leave. Everyone is telling me that the person who shot me went north and I should go after them. I'm thinking that being shot in the head has knocked some sense into me. FML. I'm heading south.

LoneWanderingAway
 

Louzon

New member
Apr 9, 2009
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Great...now not only do I have yet ANOTHER colossi to kill for my dead girlfriend, but my horse just fell off a cliff. FML

-Wander
 

Lissa-QUON

New member
Jun 22, 2009
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My drunken Dad made a mess and tore everything down and now he expects me to go out and replace everything he's broken. FML

-TinyRoyal