What is God's last name?

[theparsonski]

What you don't realise is that God disappeared a long time ago, and is now living under the alias of 'Don Draper'. We all want to be Don Draper.

 

[theSteamSupported]

Ot. Two hobos who were waiting for him, told me this.

Off-topic: My spelling correction device tells me the word 'hobos' doesn't exist. 'Homos' however, is apparently a legitimate word.

 

[deckpunk]

Sprinkles-fru-fru... because feckit why not!

Maybe "Christ"?

Another question:

What is Satan's middle name?

Satans middle name is Jack, and his full name is Satan Jack Thompson.

 

[Airsoftslayer93]

God doesn't exist, sorry kids, nor does santa or darth vader.

I think you'll find there is scientific evidence to prove the existance of Darth Vader.

I knew some ponsey vaderestrian would come along and preach to all about how they can definitavly proove that lord vader exists, however much i wish he did, so that i could live on his star destroyer in the sky once i'm gone, i think you will have to come to the conclusion that there is no evidence that he is up there.

now just be satisfied with the great star lion Mufasa like the rest of us.

 

[Dasick]

Another question:

What is Satan's middle name?

Lucifer.

Light "Lucifer" Bringer

 

[Gingernerd]

Kind of off topic, but do you get an automatic warning if you post something less than three words? I'm feeling sorry for the person who posted "Zilla" and got a warning.

"Low Post Content" is in the rulesheet of posts you aren't allowed to make, because the Escapist overlords dislike lazy posts. Expand your posts with reasoning or multiple jokes, or even just a complete sentence, to avoid it.

Yeah, thanks. It's a sensible rule, but still, mitigating circumstances! And about 3 other people did it with impunity, so i still feel sorry for the guy.

 

[TheRookie8]

Vakarian

Also, he is Garrus' father, which explains a lot.

Wrong. Garrus is HIS father.

Garrus ascended to become God, and created himself because the world needs Garrus. The cycle cannot be broken.

 

[Aprilgold]

Anonymous because he doesn't show his FUCKING FACE anywhere!
[shoots guns into clouds]
NOW COME DOWN HERE YOU SON OF A *****!
.....
I'm sorry I got carried away there.

 

[Dularn]

Ablett.

I doubt many people outside of Australia will get it.

And probably not a lot a lot of aussies either.

 

[Airsoftslayer93]

God doesn't exist, sorry kids, nor does santa or darth vader.

I think you'll find there is scientific evidence to prove the existance of Darth Vader.

I knew some ponsey vaderestrian would come along and preach to all about how they can definitavly proove that lord vader exists, however much i wish he did, so that i could live on his star destroyer in the sky once i'm gone, i think you will have to come to the conclusion that there is no evidence that he is up there.

now just be satisfied with the great star lion Mufasa like the rest of us.

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Perfect reply, you win my friend, you win the entire internet.

 

[Phuctifyno]

...frey Jones.

 

[Aurgelmir]

Emperor.

All other answers are heretical.

DEATH TO THE FALSE EMPEROR!!!!

*cough*

Well since the first thing I thought of was "emperor" too, I had to make it interesting.

 

[Saulkar]

I do not know. The concept of a last name was created by humans to distinguish between two or more people who share the last name. Since there maybe only one God (that, that trashed called organised religion allowed us to know of.), Jehovah (if that is really its name), then why would it need a last name. Just my thoughts and nothing more.

 

[Sunrider]

Kilmister.

Either this or Townsend.

 

[Signa]

Kind of off topic, but do you get an automatic warning if you post something less than three words? I'm feeling sorry for the person who posted "Zilla" and got a warning.

"Low Post Content" is in the rulesheet of posts you aren't allowed to make, because the Escapist overlords dislike lazy posts. Expand your posts with reasoning or multiple jokes, or even just a complete sentence, to avoid it.

Any idea how to contact the moderation team? I'm failing to find links for it. I refuse to let one of the best responses in this thread get their health bar raised. If they want to make sure that his post is censored as an example for the rest of the forums, fine, but his response was EXACTLY what I made this thread for. Posting anything more than "zilla" would have ruined the delivery of the joke.

 

[Total LOLige]

Norris.



(Yes I'm sorry that joke is horrible.)

I was going to post that damn you *angry fist shaking*

I think I'll go with Sessegnon

 

[krection]

His last name is Norris.....shit just got real.
[http://wikiality.wikia.com/Chuck_Norris?image=Chucknorrismessiah-jpg]]

 

[Owen Robertson]

I WAS SENT BY HE WHO IS CALLED "I AM"!
Cute.
Worked for Moses.

Meh, same thing applies, English doesn't have proper words to translate it properly

Oh no, I was quoting Kevin Smiths movie Dogma. I didn't expect anyone to get it right away. And you're right, Hebrew and Aramaic are radically different from English. I don't think there's a literal translation. Sumerian is so old barely a third of the lexicon is translated. Well, that and the fact that there's no Sumerian Rosetta Stone.

 

[Owen Robertson]

I do not know. The concept of a last name was created by humans to distinguish between two or more people who share the last name. Since there maybe only one God (that, that trashed called organised religion allowed us to know of.), Jehovah (if that is really its name), then why would it need a last name. Just my thoughts and nothing more.

The oldest name for an Abrahamic "god" is Yahweh (or YHWH since you're not actually supposed to say his name). Just keeping you accurate, dog.
Yo dawg! I heard you like gods! So I put some gods in your post!
El-Elyon, El-Olam, Amen
Alpha and Omega, The First and The Last, The Beginning and The End
Christ, Lord, Father, Great Shepherd, God Almighty, Holy One, Holy Spirit, I Am, Immanuel, Jesus, King of Kings, and Lion of the Tribe of Judah.

That's just Judaism and Christianity.

 

[lacktheknack]

Kind of off topic, but do you get an automatic warning if you post something less than three words? I'm feeling sorry for the person who posted "Zilla" and got a warning.

"Low Post Content" is in the rulesheet of posts you aren't allowed to make, because the Escapist overlords dislike lazy posts. Expand your posts with reasoning or multiple jokes, or even just a complete sentence, to avoid it.

Any idea how to contact the moderation team? I'm failing to find links for it. I refuse to let one of the best responses in this thread get their health bar raised. If they want to make sure that his post is censored as an example for the rest of the forums, fine, but his response was EXACTLY what I made this thread for. Posting anything more than "zilla" would have ruined the delivery of the joke.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/codeofconduct

You could try PMing the people on the Mod List at the bottom. There's also the email appeal system, but I doubt that works when coming from other users.