What would you have done in my situation?

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

I wouldn't have phrased it as you did. I would have said I wasn't going to go, and if asked why would have asked not to answer, and if pushed would have given a short explanation, mostly to the tune of, 'he's been unpleasant to me every time I see him, I don't wish him dead, but it would be disingenuous of me to go to a charity event for him.' Then I would have declined to discuss it any further.

 

[ScoopMeister]

No one deserves to die, whoever they are are, whatever they've done. I know some MASSIVE pricks, but I would never wish death upon them, and even if I wasn't going to this fundraiser, my prayers would still be with him and his family, no matter how much I hate him.

 

[-Drifter-]

So, you're not going to a charity event for a guy with cancer... because you don't like him? Ever heard of being the better man?

If I had the ability to potentially kill off one of my enemies without lifting a finger...I dunno, the guy who wrote this doesn't seem like he'd be hurt with a guilt-trap.

Wait, who are we talking about here?

 

[Doctor Glocktor]

Just because he's not the nicest guy doesn't mean you can't feel the slightest bit sorry that he's dying. I mean FUCK, you won't go to a charity event because you dislike this guy? I could understand apathy more but this is just malice. Personally I wouldn't care if the guy punched me square in the face, I still wouldn't want him to get cancer and die.

The OP never said he wanted him to die, he just doesn't care.

That's a pretty damn big difference.

 

[Sassafrass]

It was more the way you replied, I think.

If you had said something along the lines of "No because of *Insert reason here*, but I wish him well.", instead of going "Haha, not a chance.", you probably wouldn't have received the response you've gotten.

see i disagree, given the fact that he's a total douche cancer or not you shouldn't change how you regard him.

i would've said the same thing, probably throw a "fuck that guy" in there somewhere, but then again a lot of people have told me i can be an asshole sometimes.

YA DUN GOOD KID

I never said he should change how he feels about him. I just suggested he should've worded his reply better so he didn't come off sounding like a douchebag. That's all.

yea... idk, i guess it just all kinda depends on what kind of "haha" it was, you know?

I think it was the "Not a chance." comment that got him the reaction he did. The "Haha" probably only made things worse and in turn, made him sound like a douche to the people who asked him, which were probably the guys friends.

 

[spartan231490]

Right, so, some background information!

Earlier this school year, someone in my year at school was diagnosed with a pretty rare cancer. So he hasn't been in school since the beginning of the year. Now, I'd like to point out that this guy was always a total prick. I mean, I never had a conversation with him that didn't involve him being an utter asshat towards me for no reason. I'd also like to point out that a lot of other people never used to like him either.

So, there's a charity event on this weekend, and upon being asked if I was going to go, I replied with a very firm no, by which I said "Haha, not a chance."

So, why won't I support my year mate, I was asked, as "HE'S SO BRAVE TO FIGHT THROUGH THIS!"... Apparently.

I won't support him because he's the most arrogant tool I've ever talked to in my life, and apparently everyone else in my year totally forgot this when he got diagnosed. Really? I mean, it's like when Michael Jackson died, I seemed to be the only person I know who actually remembered the fact that he was a bad person (y'know, the whole, holding his child over the railings of a balcony quite high up, and the sleeping with children [I never implied he had sex with them, shut up before you flame me]).

So, yeah, question's simple, what would you have done?

First issue: Fighting to survive doesn't make you brave, even a craven fights if he knows that the only other option is death.
OT: I wouldn't go either, I don't give money to asshats, no matter what's killing them.

 

[lord canti]

This girl I know got raped and beaten half to death the other day. But she wasn't nice to me so I didn't care. See doesn't sound to good does it?

 

[thecoreyhlltt]

It was more the way you replied, I think.

If you had said something along the lines of "No because of *Insert reason here*, but I wish him well.", instead of going "Haha, not a chance.", you probably wouldn't have received the response you've gotten.

see i disagree, given the fact that he's a total douche cancer or not you shouldn't change how you regard him.

i would've said the same thing, probably throw a "fuck that guy" in there somewhere, but then again a lot of people have told me i can be an asshole sometimes.

YA DUN GOOD KID

I never said he should change how he feels about him. I just suggested he should've worded his reply better so he didn't come off sounding like a douchebag. That's all.

yea... idk, i guess it just all kinda depends on what kind of "haha" it was, you know?

I think it was the "Not a chance." comment that got him the reaction he did. The "Haha" probably only made things worse and in turn, made him sound like a douche to the people who asked him, which were probably the guys friends.

ooooooh. yea, i hope it wasn't the dying kids friends

 

[Doctor Glocktor]

This girl I know got raped and beaten half to death the other day. But she wasn't nice to me so I didn't care. See doesn't sound to good does it?

It doesn't sound too good because she can't be cured of rape.

This guy can be cured from cancer.

Keep your examples in context, they'll work out a million times better.

 

[Necrofudge]

I would have done the same exact thing as you, but with less... Rudeness. I would have just said "no" instead of saying "haha not a chance".

And thats going on the assumption that you made a little bit of an understatement with him just being a jerk. I'm going on the assumption that he was the type of person who would laugh at you while your house was on fire and that EVERYONE in the school agrees with you instead of just the people you happen to talk to.

 

[UnmotivatedSlacker]

dying doesn't suddenly make someone a nice person, but still, I would at least donate SOMETHING.
an asshole's an asshole, but a human being's still a human being.
I wouldn't jump on the "HE'S SO BRAVE" wagon, but I'd at least feel a little bad for him...
No, cancer doesn't make him a hero, but... well... IT'S CANCER. if the guy's in school, that means he's at most in his mid-upper twenties. that's not even half of the average life expectancy (I'm goin by US numbers here, so around 75-80 something years old I think). Imagine that, your life isn't even half over, and boom, you're told you're going to die. Unless this guy was literally Adolf Hitler, I'd show a little bit of compassion. do you have to praise him? no. do you have to like him if he pulls through? no. would he do the same for you? who knows. but I atleast know that I'd feel good helping someone in need, asshat or not.

This is closest to my reaction. It doesn't matter if he's a jerk, it's still cancer, and being an ass to a guy with cancer makes you just as much of a jerk. You don't have to like him, but you do need to respect him.

Why? Why does he have to respect someone who has been nothing but a dick to him? Because he got cancer? No, fuck that shit. OP has no obligation to help someone he doesn't like. If I got cancer, I would not expect anyone I had been a complete dick to to suddenly help me out.

Why? Honestly... it's just the right thing to do. If people could be a little more magnanimous, a little more forgiving, especially in these kinds of situations, this world might just be a bit of a nicer place to live.


And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the sappiest thing you will read all week.

The right thing to do is subjective as you can see from all of the people for or against the OP. And sure the world would be a nicer place if people were more forgiving. It would also be a nicer play to live if people weren't dicks to each other in the first place.

Well, duh. Of course it would. But the OP only has control over his own attitude, not that of the dying asshole in question.

You should care about your fellow man, particularly if he's dying. You don't have to like the guy, or consider him your friend, but a little sympathy for a cancer victim is kind of par for the course if you want to be a halfway decent human being.

Someone dying or getting does not mean I should automatically give a shit about them. If people did that, everyone would be an emotional wreck. Hell I stopped watching a fair part of the news because all of the death was depressing the hell out of me. I, like the OP will show my sympathy to those I feel deserve it. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[Jaded Scribe]

Wow, you're an absolute douche.

Extending kindness to someone who is likely to die is basic human compassion.

I feel shocked at the number of people who agree with you, and would have done the same. It's absolutely disgusting. If you haven't dealt with cancer, you have no idea how much of a fight it really is, so why don't you just let go of "calling cancer patients brave is bullshit" crap.

OP: Ok, so you didn't like the guy and didn't want to go to his fundraiser. Fine. Instead of acting like at least (imo more) of an asshole as he was to you (making me think you probably deserved everything you got), why not just say "No, I'm not going. I have another commitment that night I can't get out of." ?

I had a flu a few days ago, it made me feel REAL brave.

Some cancer patients are incredible when dealing with the news, I know a few myself, one who over came it and another who was quite an incredible person, even while dealing with his cancer, and he ended up dying (I never liked this guy, but he was a decent person with a shitload of potential so it did mean something). It's not fair, but that certainly doesn't make any asshat with the disease 'brave'. You might be right about him making an excuse instead of what he said, but don't pretend that all cancer patients are to be immediately put on a pedestal, it's called a bad hand and some get dealt worse than others.

They are dealing with something most of us can't even comprehend. And for a teenager to go through it, to never have the chance at college, or marriage, or family, or a career. It's terrible. And while they don't need to be put on a pedestal, they are deserving of basic human compassion, of which the OP clearly has none.

Kind of an ironic username, I only noticed it now.

Compassion can be outweighed by many other factors, one of which is hate. The afore-mentioned person meant nothing to me when he died, other than I thought it was a shame that he did. I didn't feel compassion or sympathy (except for maybe his family, especially the sister since... Actually that's straying way off of point) for him, I just felt it was a waste of an incredibly productive life, we never really spoke so his death meant about as much as his life to me. It was just a horrible waste of potential. (I suppose death is different than dying however)

Basic human compassion is reserved for people you care for or are close to, you seem to be preaching compassion for the advanced.

If this guy is an asshole and got cancer, maybe it's a good thing (statistically, of course, which is actually pointless) that he got it instead of someone else that's worth while. (of course that is all a point of opinion, I'm sure he had family and friends as well who'll miss him)

Wow.... really?

No, basic human compassion is not just for people you care about. That's compassion for people you care about.

Basic human compassion is what you feel for other people, based solely on the fact that they are human. It's why we feel compassion for the victims of Katrina and the Japanese earthquakes, for crime victims we see/hear/read on the news.

It is the basic, fundamental ability to feel compassion for your fellow man (which, by the way, not being able to feel is a symptom of sociopathy).

And my god, to say that "better this kid than somebody worthwhile".... WHAT THE FUCK?!?! How callous can you get? 99.99% of teenagers act like jackasses. To say that this kid's only value is to his friends and family, and that he had nothing else to offer society simply because he acted like a fucking teenager is... I can't even find the words. that you could so nonchalantly pass judgment on someone you don't even know, who, from what the OP has said, was at worst a bit of a tool is utterly incomprehensible to me.

 

[Lim3]

Pft it wasn't wrong. I grew up with a bully in my school, he used to always pick on younger children, i mean a LOT younger, and was a total prick.

He committed suicide, and then suddenly it was "ooohhh what a tragedy, he was such a nice guy".

Now i know that people say that bullies bully people because their insecure, but they are NOT the victim. Suicide might be proof that this guy was insecure but that by no means will make me feel sympathy for him.

Just as i wouldn't go to a fund-raiser for his funeral, i wouldn't go to a cancer fund-raiser for him.

 

[lord canti]

This girl I know got raped and beaten half to death the other day. But she wasn't nice to me so I didn't care. See doesn't sound to good does it?

It doesn't sound too good because she can't be cured of rape.

This guy can be cured from cancer.

Keep your examples in context, they'll work out a million times better.

depends on what kind and how severe the cancer is. He might very well be cured from it doesn't mean he won't suffer incredible physical and mental trauma for the rest of his life. Also I'm aware my example was extreme but the point was saying you don't care about someone who is going through a traumatic expierience is kind of dickish. I'm not saying go out of your way and be fakey nice to them, but at least show a little sympathy.w

 

[skywalkerlion]

I would've given up like 5 dollars and say "He's still a dick" and move on.

 

[Daveman]

Just because he's not the nicest guy doesn't mean you can't feel the slightest bit sorry that he's dying. I mean FUCK, you won't go to a charity event because you dislike this guy? I could understand apathy more but this is just malice. Personally I wouldn't care if the guy punched me square in the face, I still wouldn't want him to get cancer and die.

The OP never said he wanted him to die, he just doesn't care.

That's a pretty damn big difference.

Sorry, I'll rephrase. It's not that he wants him to die (silly me), it's that he doesn't want him to live! That's much better. It's like that prick's sat in an electric chair and there's two buttons, one button kills him, the other lets him go. Of course most normal people would press the one to let him go, but not this fella, he'd slap whichever button because he "doesn't care".

Sorry, I'm going off on one here.

Anyway, this is all irrelevant, his life does not genuinely hang on this guys opinion of him (fortunately, I guess). What is relevant is how petty this is. So they didn't exactly get along, not all people do. But this guy is giving him the opportunity to help others in a similar position (I presume that's what this "charity event" was, I haven't seen anything else on it) and rather than agree to go or decline due to not having the time or money or any other reasonable excuse, he opts for "ha ha, not a chance". That's pretty god damn dickish and he has almost definitely trumped whatever this guy did with that one line.

 

[Doctor Glocktor]

This girl I know got raped and beaten half to death the other day. But she wasn't nice to me so I didn't care. See doesn't sound to good does it?

It doesn't sound too good because she can't be cured of rape.

This guy can be cured from cancer.

Keep your examples in context, they'll work out a million times better.

depends on what kind and how severe the cancer is. He might very well be cured from it doesn't mean he won't suffer incredible physical and mental trauma for the rest of his life. Also I'm aware my example was extreme but the point was saying you don't care about someone who is going through a traumatic expierience is kind of dickish. I'm not saying go out of your way and be fakey nice to them, but at least show a little sympathy.w

It may be dickish, but you gotta remember, this guy was so much of an asshole that even cancer won't make people sympathetic with him.

 

[Biodeamon]

I would have just sincerely wished him luck. Anything else that happens after is not my problem.

 

[lord canti]

This girl I know got raped and beaten half to death the other day. But she wasn't nice to me so I didn't care. See doesn't sound to good does it?

It doesn't sound too good because she can't be cured of rape.

This guy can be cured from cancer.

Keep your examples in context, they'll work out a million times better.

depends on what kind and how severe the cancer is. He might very well be cured from it doesn't mean he won't suffer incredible physical and mental trauma for the rest of his life. Also I'm aware my example was extreme but the point was saying you don't care about someone who is going through a traumatic expierience is kind of dickish. I'm not saying go out of your way and be fakey nice to them, but at least show a little sympathy.w

It may be dickish, but you gotta remember, this guy was so much of an asshole that even cancer won't make people sympathetic with him.

I would actually like to know what the guy did to be an asshole?