What would you have done in my situation?

[TheIronRuler]

Wow, you're an absolute douche.

Extending kindness to someone who is likely to die is basic human compassion.

I feel shocked at the number of people who agree with you, and would have done the same. It's absolutely disgusting. If you haven't dealt with cancer, you have no idea how much of a fight it really is, so why don't you just let go of "calling cancer patients brave is bullshit" crap.

OP: Ok, so you didn't like the guy and didn't want to go to his fundraiser. Fine. Instead of acting like at least (imo more) of an asshole as he was to you (making me think you probably deserved everything you got), why not just say "No, I'm not going. I have another commitment that night I can't get out of." ?

If he has friends and family, he can invite them. They can all try to cheer him up, be with him, help him through this rough time. But evidently there are people that don't like him. Is it their duty to give him kindness if he hadn't for a long time?
Is there some unwritten law that says you need to cuddle someone if he's going to die?
For example, I saw a commercial asking people to give blood at the Mage David Adom (Red Cross), and I volunteered for it. Here, look, I'm saving the lives of people I don't know!
That's because I'm neutral towards them, and the fact that I want to help someone live compels me to give blood.

 

[Dr. wonderful]

When you said "Haha not a chance."

IMHO that make you no better then he was. You could of say, "No, thank you." but then of would been too much for you I take it.

 

[Communist partisan]

Right, so, some background information!

Earlier this school year, someone in my year at school was diagnosed with a pretty rare cancer. So he hasn't been in school since the beginning of the year. Now, I'd like to point out that this guy was always a total prick. I mean, I never had a conversation with him that didn't involve him being an utter asshat towards me for no reason. I'd also like to point out that a lot of other people never used to like him either.

So, there's a charity event on this weekend, and upon being asked if I was going to go, I replied with a very firm no, by which I said "Haha, not a chance."

So, why won't I support my year mate, I was asked, as "HE'S SO BRAVE TO FIGHT THROUGH THIS!"... Apparently.

I won't support him because he's the most arrogant tool I've ever talked to in my life, and apparently everyone else in my year totally forgot this when he got diagnosed. Really? I mean, it's like when Michael Jackson died, I seemed to be the only person I know who actually remembered the fact that he was a bad person (y'know, the whole, holding his child over the railings of a balcony quite high up, and the sleeping with children [I never implied he had sex with them, shut up before you flame me]).

So, yeah, question's simple, what would you have done?

you have done 110% right.... well not really, you haven't spitted him in the face and told him he's a gigantic tosser.

 

[lwm3398]

I would have asked whether or not they thought he would go to theirs. Perhaps that would get some sense through to them.

 

[Kurokami]

Wow, you're an absolute douche.

Extending kindness to someone who is likely to die is basic human compassion.

I feel shocked at the number of people who agree with you, and would have done the same. It's absolutely disgusting. If you haven't dealt with cancer, you have no idea how much of a fight it really is, so why don't you just let go of "calling cancer patients brave is bullshit" crap.

OP: Ok, so you didn't like the guy and didn't want to go to his fundraiser. Fine. Instead of acting like at least (imo more) of an asshole as he was to you (making me think you probably deserved everything you got), why not just say "No, I'm not going. I have another commitment that night I can't get out of." ?

I had a flu a few days ago, it made me feel REAL brave.

Some cancer patients are incredible when dealing with the news, I know a few myself, one who over came it and another who was quite an incredible person, even while dealing with his cancer, and he ended up dying (I never liked this guy, but he was a decent person with a shitload of potential so it did mean something). It's not fair, but that certainly doesn't make any asshat with the disease 'brave'. You might be right about him making an excuse instead of what he said, but don't pretend that all cancer patients are to be immediately put on a pedestal, it's called a bad hand and some get dealt worse than others.

 

[Drummie666]

Yeah, I'd have done the same. Why should I be nice to a dying guy that's been a complete dick to me in the past. If he wants to be a dick, than I'll be a dick to him.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

Good for you. Just because he was diagnosed with cancer (and that is unfortunate) does not mean he's automatically a nice person and a hero. I wish him the best and hope he recovers, but you don't have to like him.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

Well its very honest of you to stick to your opinion under that kind of pressure it would be dishonest to suddenly start acting like you're his best friend. I would just be polite about it and say it wouldn't be right to join in with things for him because you didn't get along.

Perhaps there is somthing you can do for cancer research in general so that tells people you understand the terrible situation he is in but you don't want to seem insincere on a personal level.

 

[duchaked]

I guy I know uses the saying, "Dying doesn't make you a nice person." If it applies here, use it.

I personally use, "I have a limited amount of give-a-shit, and I'm not going to waste it on this."

hahaha beautiful life philosophies to live by, but I gotta say in this situation I might take it

if people really get on my case, I'd just say I'd rather stay outta the way. that I'd do more harm than good

seriously, I wouldn't be wishing him further ill, I just wouldn't be adoring him

 

[Jaded Scribe]

Wow, you're an absolute douche.

Extending kindness to someone who is likely to die is basic human compassion.

I feel shocked at the number of people who agree with you, and would have done the same. It's absolutely disgusting. If you haven't dealt with cancer, you have no idea how much of a fight it really is, so why don't you just let go of "calling cancer patients brave is bullshit" crap.

OP: Ok, so you didn't like the guy and didn't want to go to his fundraiser. Fine. Instead of acting like at least (imo more) of an asshole as he was to you (making me think you probably deserved everything you got), why not just say "No, I'm not going. I have another commitment that night I can't get out of." ?

If he has friends and family, he can invite them. They can all try to cheer him up, be with him, help him through this rough time. But evidently there are people that don't like him. Is it their duty to give him kindness if he hadn't for a long time?
Is there some unwritten law that says you need to cuddle someone if he's going to die?
For example, I saw a commercial asking people to give blood at the Mage David Adom (Red Cross), and I volunteered for it. Here, look, I'm saving the lives of people I don't know!
That's because I'm neutral towards them, and the fact that I want to help someone live compels me to give blood.

There's a difference between basic human compassion and cuddling. And I never said the OP had to go. It would have been reasonable for him not to, but he didn't have to be an asshat about it.

 

[Jaded Scribe]

Wow, you're an absolute douche.

Extending kindness to someone who is likely to die is basic human compassion.

I feel shocked at the number of people who agree with you, and would have done the same. It's absolutely disgusting. If you haven't dealt with cancer, you have no idea how much of a fight it really is, so why don't you just let go of "calling cancer patients brave is bullshit" crap.

OP: Ok, so you didn't like the guy and didn't want to go to his fundraiser. Fine. Instead of acting like at least (imo more) of an asshole as he was to you (making me think you probably deserved everything you got), why not just say "No, I'm not going. I have another commitment that night I can't get out of." ?

I had a flu a few days ago, it made me feel REAL brave.

Some cancer patients are incredible when dealing with the news, I know a few myself, one who over came it and another who was quite an incredible person, even while dealing with his cancer, and he ended up dying (I never liked this guy, but he was a decent person with a shitload of potential so it did mean something). It's not fair, but that certainly doesn't make any asshat with the disease 'brave'. You might be right about him making an excuse instead of what he said, but don't pretend that all cancer patients are to be immediately put on a pedestal, it's called a bad hand and some get dealt worse than others.

They are dealing with something most of us can't even comprehend. And for a teenager to go through it, to never have the chance at college, or marriage, or family, or a career. It's terrible. And while they don't need to be put on a pedestal, they are deserving of basic human compassion, of which the OP clearly has none.

 

[Seriphina]

soooo he deserves the cancer?
Clearly you have no idea what cancer is! Or does?
It's fucking horrible and I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.
High school is shit. No denying and ppl are assholes.
But when you grow up a bit you will prob be able to talk to these ppl later in life and surprise they are no longer assholes. Kids lack social skills.
He doesnt deserve it tho and be grateful it's not you or a member of your family.
Lucky for you he will prob die pretty young so GG.

 

[Shirokurou]

A douche in life is a douche in death...

The fudge do you mean by that?

That if some guy was a douche while alive, when he's dead you don't go to his funeral to read a "What a great man we lost" speech just cause you know... it's a funeral.

 

[Christopher Parker]

What I'm about to say may seem a little sociopathic, but sod it. Outside of my immediate family, I can count on my fingers the number of people I would give a shit about if they were diagnosed with cancer tomorrow. Does cancer suck? Sure. However, there is no one outside of my small circle of friends and family that I would genuinely care about, and this is because 90% of the people I've ever known have been complete assholes devoid of any common decency or compassion toward their fellow men, and frankly the world would be better off without them. I might feel sorry for their family, especially in a country like America where dying slowly is so expensive, so I may even try to be tactful, but I certainly wouldn't waste my money.

tl;dr - human life is overrated; the OP could have been more tactful, but otherwise I agree completely.

 

[Sanglyon]

Don't worry, you won't and don't have to feel bad about it if he dies. He doesn't care about getting your support, not because he's a dick, but because there are people more important to him than "that sucker at school".

For the charity, is it to get him treatment, or simply a present of some sort? In the first case, you can participate as the goal is to save a life, which should always matter. Otherwise, if it's just being nice, don't bother. That'll only make you an hypocrite in your own eyes without achieving anything.

 

[karloss01]

I'd say "i don't do charity"(which i don't in most cases) and leave it at that.

your in the right, people rarely change from my experiance.

EDIT: from the comments i see a few people who are way too forgiving.

 

[rokkolpo]

I'd probably not even go to a charity for someone I liked.
People I like can expect me at their bed.


People I don't like can expect me going to the movies.
Why should I care if someone dies.
People do it all the time.
+he's a douche.

 

[crop52]

hey, michael jackson was totally a good person,

he might have been a little wacko in head, but he was definitely good guy,

now i wouldn't have gone to the guy's charity either, since he probably wouldn't want me there if he's a douche,