What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard or overheard someone say?

[museofdoom]

I would just like to say that this is probably one of the best threads to have ever come into existence... ever, anywhere on the Internet.

Yay! I'm really glad I made this thread. All the stories are endlessly amusing.

Another one to add:

Friend who is incredibly sheltered: "What's on your shirt?"
Me: "Oh, it's a Pokemon from Pokemon Black.
FWIIS:"Huh? I thought that yellow mouse thing was Pokemon...?"
Me: "That would be Pikachu..."
FWIIS: "Oh, I thought its name was Pokemon...."

My inner nerd was ready to punch her.

 

[Scrubiii]

"But this only has three carbons"
A student looking at a picture of a hydrocarbon diagram of methane.
Which had four carbons.
That same student also came out with the brilliant observation "The clock is going backwards"
It wasn't

Doesn't methane have one carbon and four hydrogens?

No mate, Hydrogen can bond 4 times >.

Also, god damn captchas, if people can write bots to read these then they could read a paperback book from geosynchronous orbit.

Other way around. Hydrogen can only bond once since it only has one outer electron. Carbon has four so it can bond four times. Methane is CH4.

 

[Josh123914]

Some people, one of them sadly being my father, who take parts of the bible and cite them as "historical facts".
Him - "And then, Jesus walked on water! It is truly a sign he was son of God!"
Me - "No, that is a sign that he was a magician with simple tricks to delude the common man, let's face it, people always think everything they can't understand is "supernatural" and "magic"."
This is the best of his "facts"
Him - "And it rained for 40 days and 40 nights, covering the entire earth with water!"
Me - "Consistently heavy rain for over a month in a desert area is highly unlikely, and the entire earth? More like a small valley they lived in. It's not unheard of for sealed off valleys to waterfill."

Yet he wonder, why I am an atheist.

I do not wish to start a flame war or get myself banned for "bashing religion" or anything.
I don't mind religion, and the basic concept of Christianity is not bad "help thau neightbour and friend, love everyone equally" and so on. But the bible is a fictional history book, made up to put the christian beliefs into context so people can easier understand them.

Actually, I may well have a valid theory with the Moses floodings, apparently, archeologists have discovered remains of houses and farming equipment and the bottom of the Black Sea, dating back to as early as 5000 BC, the theory is that what is the current day Black Sea used to be low-lying ground, and that the small area of land that is underwater separating Instanbul from..... itself actually had land there. Don't remember exactly how (a storm or just the constant pressure of the Mediterranean building up) but that small bit of land collapsed and water came gushing into the low lying plains making what is now the Black Sea (and the raining thing, well I'd hazard a guess the Fertile Crescent had some storms hit them and then when word came to them that a bunch of land about 200 miles away is underwater some of them must have thought ''Holy Crap, We survived a Biblical flood, we got off lucky'')

 

[Erttheking]

snip

Oh look guys, a self demonstrating article. Someone talking about how he hates scientifically inaccurate bullshit before going off about scientifically inaccurate bullshit, INTOLERANT scientifically inaccurate bullshit too. Did not recopy due to there is a very good chance that post could lead to moderator retaliation, you'll have to hunt it down.

I don't really hate gay people as much as you may think I would. But how would you classify it? As a personality trait, not some kind of condition? Fuck off. Yeah, maybe the dictionary would say it's a choice of life or whatever but that's because the definition was altered after a bunch of gay people started protesting and going on about equality.
Intolerance? As I said, let them get married and do what they want (except adoption). You don't see me going like "OH THEY SHOULD ALL DIE".

Send me the link to the scientific discovery where it is confirmed that it's genetic, until then shut it. Is me preferring blondes over brunettes genetic? Is me preferring tall women to short women a genetic condition? Are the fetishes that I have genetic? No it isn't so how the Hell is preferring either men or women genetic? Answer me that oh wise one. And oh yeah you are very tolerant...you just don't think that two men or two women are fit to raise a child...THAT IS INTOLERANT GENIUS!

 

[Erttheking]

Any kind of religious or historically/scientifically inaccurate bullshit just brings my piss to a boil. Also, people accepting gays way too much. It's like, ffs. When you think about it, it's really a mental condition and not a "choice of life" or "personality trait" as many describe it. And yeah, whatever, if they wanna get married so fucking much just let them, but BY FUCK, don't let them adopt children (mindfuck).

?

its like you just contradicted what you said...

most reasons for disliking homosexuality seem to be religiously based. I mean whats wrong with it? can you expect all gays to turn hetero? people have tried that, Im not so sure it works. There is debate where gayness comes from...but from what I can see it is what it is, not somthing you can really prevent

as for the adopting children thing..I dont know, if I were in such a position my only concern about allowing gay coupples to have children would be the predjudice of OTHERS, not their ability to raise a child

I am atheist and judging gays just by saying "it's a sin" is ridiculous. I judge them because imagining a man with with a hairy ass fucking another man with a hairy ass is just......yeah, you know.

....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh this is rich, I'm Roman Catholic and I think there's nothing wrong with homosexuality. The religious man is more tolerant than you are? So much for Atheists being free of the petty shackles that restrict religious people (no disrespect to other atheists, just this one).

 

[Grospoliner]

Once heard someone claim that HAARP is a mind-control machine.

Is it a bad thing that I have no idea what "HAARP" is?

Only if you are interested in science stuff.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_Frequency_Active_Auroral_Research_Program

 

[doggy go 7]

snip

Oh look guys, a self demonstrating article. Someone talking about how he hates scientifically inaccurate bullshit before going off about scientifically inaccurate bullshit, INTOLERANT scientifically inaccurate bullshit too. Did not recopy due to there is a very good chance that post could lead to moderator retaliation, you'll have to hunt it down.

I don't really hate gay people as much as you may think I would. But how would you classify it? As a personality trait, not some kind of condition? Fuck off. Yeah, maybe the dictionary would say it's a choice of life or whatever but that's because the definition was altered after a bunch of gay people started protesting and going on about equality.
Intolerance? As I said, let them get married and do what they want (except adoption). You don't see me going like "OH THEY SHOULD ALL DIE".

Send me the link to the scientific discovery where it is confirmed that it's genetic, until then shut it. Is me preferring blondes over brunettes genetic? Is me preferring tall women to short women a genetic condition? Are the fetishes that I have genetic? No it isn't so how the Hell is preferring either men or women genetic? Answer me that oh wise one. And oh yeah you are very tolerant...you just don't think that two men or two women are fit to raise a child...THAT IS INTOLERANT GENIUS!

although this guy is indeed an idiot of collosal proportians, being gay is genetic (as i recall they're very close to actually finding the gay gene)
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/research-confirms-gay-gene-discovery-1580244.html (broadsheet and respectable newspaper)

. if you wish for proof of this (this works best either with porn or serious sex deprevation), if your dick goes hard when you see woman, you are straight, if men, gay, and if both bi. it isn't a choice, it's part of who you are, like skin colour, and like skin colour it doesn't affect anything other then who you like to do it with.

 

[museofdoom]

Any kind of religious or historically/scientifically inaccurate bullshit just brings my piss to a boil. Also, people accepting gays way too much. It's like, ffs. When you think about it, it's really a mental condition and not a "choice of life" or "personality trait" as many describe it. And yeah, whatever, if they wanna get married so fucking much just let them, but BY FUCK, don't let them adopt children (mindfuck).

?

its like you just contradicted what you said...

most reasons for disliking homosexuality seem to be religiously based. I mean whats wrong with it? can you expect all gays to turn hetero? people have tried that, Im not so sure it works. There is debate where gayness comes from...but from what I can see it is what it is, not somthing you can really prevent

as for the adopting children thing..I dont know, if I were in such a position my only concern about allowing gay coupples to have children would be the predjudice of OTHERS, not their ability to raise a child

I am atheist and judging gays just by saying "it's a sin" is ridiculous. I judge them because imagining a man with with a hairy ass fucking another man with a hairy ass is just......yeah, you know.

....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh this is rich, I'm Roman Catholic and I think there's nothing wrong with homosexuality. The religious man is more tolerant than you are? So much for Atheists being free of the petty shackles that restrict religious people (no disrespect to other atheists, just this one).

I'm Roman Catholic as well! I also find it funny how the atheist is the one lacking tolerance. My older brother is gay, and he has every right to marry the man of his dreams and adopt children if he wishes. Also, I can't believe someone would judge homosexuals because they don't like the thought of them having sex. Some people need to grow up.

 

[Kenbo Slice]

Any kind of religious or historically/scientifically inaccurate bullshit just brings my piss to a boil. Also, people accepting gays way too much. It's like, ffs. When you think about it, it's really a mental condition and not a "choice of life" or "personality trait" as many describe it. And yeah, whatever, if they wanna get married so fucking much just let them, but BY FUCK, don't let them adopt children (mindfuck).

Don't let them adopt children? I have two moms and I couldn't be happier. I wasn't adopted but I know a few kids who were adopted by gay parents and their perfectly normal (my friends two dads are like the greatest guys ever).

OT: My friend didn't know California was a state and she also thought Christian Bale was Canadian >.>

 

[Supertegwyn]

I would just like to say that this is probably one of the best threads to have ever come into existence... ever, anywhere on the Internet.

This thread is a bit of a retread of an earlier Escapist thread, here:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.312357-Sorry-sir-but-I-cant-take-you-seriously?page=1

 

[Saltarius]

Three small ones.

When I was in 7th grade, I got into some religous debates with a very christian girl. She honestly believed that atheists have no morals.

When I mentioned I was part of the Cult of Cthulhu in my class once (it was a phase), everybody said I was copying South Park.

A girl in my algebra class doesn't know who Sherlock Holmes is.

Please join me in the summoning of Hastur the Unspeakable.

 

[Dunkerloop]

I had a teacher in the 7th grade who I loved, yet everyone else hated. He'd openly remark about students in his class being stupid, which often times he was sadly correct on. He believes that there are stupid questions, and that saying "There are no stupid questions" is an idiotic thing to say. He then gave an example question from one of his students the year before When they were talking about the Oregon trail and the Gold rush, and a student said "Why didn't they just invent Planes?"

 

[Generalzdave]

If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.

Nyquil actually tastes red or green, but pick either Nyquil or Dayquil, 'cause your cold doesn't care what time it is!

OT: I tend to say many of these on my own, but I'll post some. I can remember one time where I was in 6th grade science, and the teacher was talking about her vacation in Hawaii, and how she climbed an active volcano that erupted during her climb. The nowadays school basketball star stands up and pulls a Finding Nemo and asks "Did you die?" If he pulled that shit now the teacher would throw something at him.

 

[Darkmantle]

girl in my history class

"what happened first, world war ONE or world war TWO"

facepalm facepalm facepalm

....

*flies over to your town*

"Where is she?!?!"

*Follows your pointing finger*

*Grabs girl*

*PUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH*

The teacher actually sat done in silence for several minutes, contemplating his life choices and was no doubt considering suicide After class he head desked several times, I was thoroughly amused

 

[CRRPGMykael]

Any kind of religious or historically/scientifically inaccurate bullshit just brings my piss to a boil. Also, people accepting gays way too much. It's like, ffs. When you think about it, it's really a mental condition and not a "choice of life" or "personality trait" as many describe it. And yeah, whatever, if they wanna get married so fucking much just let them, but BY FUCK, don't let them adopt children (mindfuck).

?

its like you just contradicted what you said...

most reasons for disliking homosexuality seem to be religiously based. I mean whats wrong with it? can you expect all gays to turn hetero? people have tried that, Im not so sure it works. There is debate where gayness comes from...but from what I can see it is what it is, not somthing you can really prevent

as for the adopting children thing..I dont know, if I were in such a position my only concern about allowing gay coupples to have children would be the predjudice of OTHERS, not their ability to raise a child

I am atheist and judging gays just by saying "it's a sin" is ridiculous. I judge them because imagining a man with with a hairy ass fucking another man with a hairy ass is just......yeah, you know.

then dont fucking imagine it...

its just as stupid, your reasoning is "ewwww it makes me UNCOMFORTABLE" thats just pathetic

See, this is the kind of shit that also pisses me off. People talk about racism and sexism here and all kinds of shit, but as soon as someone who is not 100% fine with gay people shows up, nobody wants to go there. I stand alone saying that I AM NOT TOTALLY FINE WITH GAY PEOPLE. THEY DISTURB ME. And then I get gang-raped by people who think they are being really tolerant and awesome by saying that I am a homophobe and pathetic etc. I know exactly what you think about me because I have a lot of empathy. Here you are defending gay people and thinking I'm some kind of conservative and ignorant moron. Well, it's not like that.

but your original post is fucking retarded. you say anything scientifically inacurate things piss you off, and go on to state something completely scientifically inaccurate i.e. gay people shouldn't have kids. there is no scientific evedence to support this, and quite frankly there's scientific evidence that says they should be allowed to adopt kids.
furthermore, freedom of speech works both ways. you are well within your right to hold the stupid, unsupported claim the gays "disturb you" because instead of putting their dicks in womans arses they put them in mens, and now everbody else is well within their right to call you hypocritic retard.

gratz, out of all the hate replies that I got, this and 2 other ones I have actually decided to reply to.
You, as a male human being, were supposed to like women. But if you don't, that isn't exactly what I would call 'ethical'. After all, man+man doesn't equal to 'baby' (weird argument, I know).

 

[CRRPGMykael]

snip

Oh look guys, a self demonstrating article. Someone talking about how he hates scientifically inaccurate bullshit before going off about scientifically inaccurate bullshit, INTOLERANT scientifically inaccurate bullshit too. Did not recopy due to there is a very good chance that post could lead to moderator retaliation, you'll have to hunt it down.

I don't really hate gay people as much as you may think I would. But how would you classify it? As a personality trait, not some kind of condition? Fuck off. Yeah, maybe the dictionary would say it's a choice of life or whatever but that's because the definition was altered after a bunch of gay people started protesting and going on about equality.
Intolerance? As I said, let them get married and do what they want (except adoption). You don't see me going like "OH THEY SHOULD ALL DIE".

Send me the link to the scientific discovery where it is confirmed that it's genetic, until then shut it. Is me preferring blondes over brunettes genetic? Is me preferring tall women to short women a genetic condition? Are the fetishes that I have genetic? No it isn't so how the Hell is preferring either men or women genetic? Answer me that oh wise one. And oh yeah you are very tolerant...you just don't think that two men or two women are fit to raise a child...THAT IS INTOLERANT GENIUS!

im tired of having to always answer to these kinds of replies, so im gon keep it short. blondes, brunettes, etc are women. you were 'designed' to like women, and u can make babies with women. its ethical. yeah thats about it.

 

[CRRPGMykael]

Any kind of religious or historically/scientifically inaccurate bullshit just brings my piss to a boil. Also, people accepting gays way too much. It's like, ffs. When you think about it, it's really a mental condition and not a "choice of life" or "personality trait" as many describe it. And yeah, whatever, if they wanna get married so fucking much just let them, but BY FUCK, don't let them adopt children (mindfuck).

?

its like you just contradicted what you said...

most reasons for disliking homosexuality seem to be religiously based. I mean whats wrong with it? can you expect all gays to turn hetero? people have tried that, Im not so sure it works. There is debate where gayness comes from...but from what I can see it is what it is, not somthing you can really prevent

as for the adopting children thing..I dont know, if I were in such a position my only concern about allowing gay coupples to have children would be the predjudice of OTHERS, not their ability to raise a child

I am atheist and judging gays just by saying "it's a sin" is ridiculous. I judge them because imagining a man with with a hairy ass fucking another man with a hairy ass is just......yeah, you know.

....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh this is rich, I'm Roman Catholic and I think there's nothing wrong with homosexuality. The religious man is more tolerant than you are? So much for Atheists being free of the petty shackles that restrict religious people (no disrespect to other atheists, just this one).

petty shackles that restrict religious people? i am not exactly down with gay guys. whoopdee fucking doo..........man, i should've wasted my time replying to some other hate reply that was directed towards my escapist inbox, not urs. u dont even have much of an argument there.

 

[ThunderCavalier]

For a moment I thought this:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqi0DwNLJdM[/youtube]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqi0DwNLJdM

But she's so cute lol.

Do they really teach this in 3rd grade? I live in Europe and I bet more than 90% of the people doen't know its Capital. I didn't learn any capital in School, I just know them because I have a map in the room and enjoy looking at it.
While I don't question that girl stupidity, I really think that that question is hard for a 3rd grader.

But if they really teach that in US schools I must say I'm surprised.

They don't, to my knowledge.

However, I'm still trying to comprehend someone not knowing that France is a country. That seems like... fairly common knowledge.

 

[Erttheking]

Any kind of religious or historically/scientifically inaccurate bullshit just brings my piss to a boil. Also, people accepting gays way too much. It's like, ffs. When you think about it, it's really a mental condition and not a "choice of life" or "personality trait" as many describe it. And yeah, whatever, if they wanna get married so fucking much just let them, but BY FUCK, don't let them adopt children (mindfuck).

?

its like you just contradicted what you said...

most reasons for disliking homosexuality seem to be religiously based. I mean whats wrong with it? can you expect all gays to turn hetero? people have tried that, Im not so sure it works. There is debate where gayness comes from...but from what I can see it is what it is, not somthing you can really prevent

as for the adopting children thing..I dont know, if I were in such a position my only concern about allowing gay coupples to have children would be the predjudice of OTHERS, not their ability to raise a child

I am atheist and judging gays just by saying "it's a sin" is ridiculous. I judge them because imagining a man with with a hairy ass fucking another man with a hairy ass is just......yeah, you know.

....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh this is rich, I'm Roman Catholic and I think there's nothing wrong with homosexuality. The religious man is more tolerant than you are? So much for Atheists being free of the petty shackles that restrict religious people (no disrespect to other atheists, just this one).

petty shackles that restrict religious people? i am not exactly down with gay guys. whoopdee fucking doo..........man, i should've wasted my time replying to some other hate reply that was directed towards my escapist inbox, not urs. u dont even have much of an argument there.

Well then allow me the clarify, you clearly insulted those who are religious when you said "I think it's stupid to not like gay people because it's a sin," you just don't like them because the idea of it. VERY FUCKING PROGRESSIVE!