What's YOUR zombie escape plan?

[crimson5pheonix]

To be fair, even with a scope, headshots at extreme distances are hard to pull off, as you have to account for gravity, wind resistance, and loss of momentum. Also a scope that's sighted in will only be accurate at a specific range (say 800-1200 yards will be good but 400-600 yards you will miss) But a shotgun is a shotgun and using BB sized pellets or bigger can disable a zombie. using smaller will work at closer ranges and be more accurate at the obvious disadvantage of being at a closer range.

 

[RufusMcLaser]

It's an interesting question. Since my neighborhood has private security, I've put off owning a gun indefinitely and that puts me at a disadvantage in most zombie apocalypse scenarios. I'd love to say there's a Remington 870 and a Smith & Wesson .357 within easy reach, but there aren't, so I'd have to use the detachable posts on my bed as bludgeons. My car is right outside and I have keyless entry, so it wouldn't be too hard.
That said, the rest of the plan is to grab my AWOL bag and drive to the airbase.
There, I would either barricade myself in one of the armories (several of which are co-located with communications equipment and supply storage) and ride the storm out, or hop a C-130.
Given the choice of destinations if airlift were available, I'd say Bermuda. It'd be nice to hole up in Cheyenne Mountain or a missile launch control center, but by the time we got there the chances of being let in would be pretty slim. Besides, Minuteman LCCs are cramped enough with two people inside.
If Bermuda becomes infested, we'd have to make some strategic decisions which would be determined by the nature of the zombie threat. In a situation where the zombies have a limited lifespan (28 Days Later for instance), holing up somewhere remote or well-fortified and waiting them out is sensible. In that case we'd want a remote location- the Andes, northern Canada, Mongolia. Alternatively a Maginot fort would be perfect if it could be secured; the Fort De Schoenenbourg would be a good candidate if we could repair the generators. There are quite a few abandoned Cold War-era bunkers in Western Europe which might also work out.
On the other hand, a persistent infestation such as the various John Romero movies posit would be much harder. There really isn't a winning scenario. Maybe you could fortify an island that had arable land, but the parameters we're given above sort of rule that out.
Time, in that case, to assemble a harem and a large amount of drugs and wait for the inevitable.

 

[tiredinnuendo]

Everyone on this thread who says they'd grab a melee weapon or who lists their martial arts training as an asset is basically instant dinner, so first priority would be to get some heavy duty sniper rifles. If I'm winking at a zombie from closer than a mile away, I'm in major trouble.

Since the only way to kill a zombie is to remove the head or destroy the brain having only guns is moronic. YOU WILL GET FUCKING DESTROYED. They won't just be straggling around, there will be thousands of them, coming right at you. You can't pull off head shots just like that because for the millionth time THIS ISN'T A VIDEO GAME, YOU WON'T GET HEAD SHOTS EASILY. And just shooting constantly at any other body part will do nothing but slow them down. Guns only = you're dead. You're just a product of the video games you play and will be dead within a day, and I'll be alive and well.

Oh and you'd die of starvation if you plan on fishing for life. Especially if you have more than like five people. You're only hope on a boat is that you find a nice little island with fruit and some wildlife.

You don't pay attention. I'd have a fleet stockpiled with rations, the objective of which is only to delay the inevitable. Perhaps (since in this scenario the zombies unerringly flock to my location) after a year or more we can safely assume that the zombies are all under the water, perhaps there would be some agent I could introduce to neutralize them, who knows?

It's clear from your post that you've not yet made it to your 20's, but trust me son, some of us have done some time with firearms. I can wink at you from a mile and a quarter with the right setup, and sniper rounds would kill a zombie.

Know what happens when one guy fights 20? Even if they're not moving all that fast? He gets *tired*. Bashing in a human skull is hard. You're talking about enemies numbering in the thousands where one bite finishes you off? Once the wave has caught you, you're done. The objective would be to get a vehicle, get out to a nowhere town where there'd be some breathing room (and likely far more survivors) and then implement my plan.

Apologies if my suggestion that my sniper rifle beats your hammer offends you.

- J

 

[Sib]

Do... do i need to find and copy in my zombie survival plans from the past 745872659762 of these threads?

I admit, they're fun, but nothing tops Rolling Righteousness.

I'll be there with ya Joe, swinging the chainsword while burning every zombie in a 50ft radius

 

[crimson5pheonix]

Obviously the only thing one would need to do is cast Morrigan's lvl.3 Firewall in a 100ft. radius and one would be set. Duh.

 

[KapnKerfuffle]

All right, here is my plan. In my apartment I go up to the second level and climb out the window. Out on the second floor is the roof to the long bank of connected apartments that I live in. If there are large crowds of shamblers, I probably can't get to my truck which is near the front door. So, I find an opening and jump down to street level.

Luckily I live in Idaho. It wouldn't be long before I could find some redneck asshole's POS truck with the keys in it and possibly a weapon. I would just check for the "These colors don't run!" or "Charlton Heston is my president." bumper sticker. There might also be a crappy house that people leave unlocked for weapon powerups and supplies.

It would really suck living in a place like San Francisco no guns and airtight houses because of the property values. And ramming a zombie with a Prius may not be as effective. Although one advantage of living in San Francisco - lots of gay leather shops for armor complete with leather codpieces to prevent genital mutilation.

 

[Fangface74]

Hey, Crack_Duck's breaking the rules. If I had known that we could make up what we think the zombies should do, my plan would've been way easier.

- J

Indeed, Crack_Duck, if you can decide the scenario, why not have a specially designed 30-tonne zombie smashing scrotum, it immediately squashes any zombie in a 300 mile radius whilst baking you a fucking cake!

But instead, the undead shred you, use your skin as a pancake & leave you soaking in the hoi-sin of your lies!


Inspired by B.Bailey

 

[Sosakitty]

Everyone here is missing the same component, longevity of their supplies. A bit of canned food and some bottled water will get you no where, even if you take hold inside a grocery store you'd need heavy rationing to last even a chunk of time. I'm assuming that these zombies will never die unless personally killed, so you need a solid
plan.

I'd need about 20 people at the most for this. I'm setting this right where I live so the locations will follow suit. I will quickly grab a few blunt objects (probably baseball bats and then a large shovel) to make my way out of the house, I will then gather about 20 healthy and capable people to work with me. We will hold up in the Walmart or Target here (they're right next to each other here, so I'll pick whichever one isn't occupied or out of supplies.) We would split up into 2 teams. One will stay back, filling all containers with water (as running water will soon disappear, along with electricity.) The other half will head to Home Depot, and grab tons of gardening supplies and seeds for vegetables. We would also get stuff to fortify the entrances and generators for electricity which will be rationed so that we don't waste it.

Keep in mind that guns are hard to aim in real life, especially in a situation like this, so they're essentially worthless. On the way back we would stop at places that have some weapons that don't require ammo or anything, mainly blunt objects (bats, shovels, and the like) and check the sword shop that's here (it mainly sells replicas, but on the chance that they have authentic swords it's worth a check.) We may not do all of this in one trip, but they're things that need to get done quickly. We would blockade all doors with what we can and continue filling containers with water. Assuming it's the right season we will immediately turn the roof into a garden, this is why we stopped at Home Depot. We need soil and supplies for this. We would plant vegetables and stuff and when they're good we'll keep most of it for the winter. We would probably also check grocery stores around before we hole up for good for any more non-perishable food and to the library to get tons of books. You need something to do when not fighting for your life.

We would ration food (especially if we have more then the 20 max. limit) and just make any adjustments needed. We'd upkeep blockades daily and then probably start making babies. Hopefully someone is in whatever store (Walmart or Target) that we didn't go to and also have a good situation so that we can trade supplies if one is in need and there is a surplus. We might even build a small bridge between the two as a little job for people to keep themselves from going insane (which will happen to some.) After that, we just survive.

Alright, I'm ready to critique, and since you asked for it, I'll start with Shivari's plan.

Okay I'm to format my critiquing like this:

Weapons:
Location:
Food Supply:
Water Supply:
Raw material Supply:
Other:

Okay here's the actual review:

Weapons: blunt objects: Those would work for getting through zombies to get to a close destination, though it is very hard to kill a zombie and you can get tired easily.

Location: Wal-Mart/Target: That's pretty smart considering thats the best place to get food and resources, and also because there are few entrances.

Food Supply: Roof farming: Brilliant!

Water Supply: Rain: So what happens when It doesn't rain for a week?

Raw Material Supply: Home Depot: Thats good.

Other: How would you find twenty people in a zombopocalypse? And even then they wouldn't be very trusting, and just to make things harder at least one would probably be infected and pretending not to be up until they turn. What if the bridge collapsed while supplies were being moved?

Review Complete

 

[BallPtPenTheif]

all you gun toting weekend rambos would die so fast. unless you are approaching an end game scenario a firearm would kill 1 and attract many. so unless you can find 30 more bullets everytime you fire that gun, you will be over taken.

some people have proposed using firearms as a means to escape to a vehicle. in a sudden escape scenario, yes fire arms would be appropriate but keep in mind, when you roll into the next town with your revving engine, you've just called in the welcoming committee again.

hand to hand weapons aren't being toted as some kind of melee Dynasty Warriors slug fest. your are missing the point that people relying on melee weapons will be evading the zombies not fighting them. the hand to hand weapons are just meant to neutralize a single zombie without detection.

and to all the DYI samurais, unless you know how to properly swing the thing, expect to damage it fairly quickly and you might even injure yourself.

 

[DeadRyuuzaki]

I have no weapons where I work, but I believe I can safely get to my car. At my house however, on my other computer where I will pretend I am at. I have enough weapons to at my house to kill the entire population of my town. The list of weapons beside my computer includes 2 swords, 8 daggers, 5 throwing stars, two shotguns, and one pistol. That should allow me to get into my storehouse which should allow me to save my self. Also I kinda have the food problem finished also.

 

[jaiden26]

I just happen to own a .50 caliber Desert Eagle Action Express Handgun, and a shit ton of ammo, so as long as I have time to reload after I expend 3 mags of ammo, I'd be fine for quite a while.

My plan would be to fight to bigger guns, which my father has.

I'm hoping you are talking about the mindless zombies in Shawn of the Dead. If they are the Dawn of the Dead fast moving intelligent zombies, then I really don't have an escape plan, but I'd turn that .50 cal on myself before I ever become zombie food.

 

[jake09050]

i'd grab a crowbar from the closet and try to out run the person next to me

 

[Scarletmarine]

After reading through peoples plans I must say, almost all of you have no chance of surviving. Get The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete protection from the Living Dead.

Sidenote: Events stated at the end of that guide have some fact to them. As news reports are hard to come by. The incident of 2002, St Thomas is quite true. If you go there almost every resisdent will tell you the story of the Zombie that came ashore their beach. Even the trail of the man who killed it, still exists.

P.s- Max Brooks in many lectures tells the audience, "It may be in the humor section but there's nothing funny about a Zombie Invasion."

 

[Drakmorg]

My plans depend on whether the zombies know how to climb a 7 ft. chainlink fence. If they don't, great! I have a garden in my backayard so I just eat fruits and whatnot while they just look at me like a plate of ribs and move on to eat other people or die of hunger (Zombies eat flesh, so they need it to survive right? Why else would they bother?). If they can climb, or start forming some kinda zombie ramp, I can take my motorcycle and drive to my cousins house in the country, he has plenty of guns and stockpiles of food, so we should be well off for about 2 weeks. Not to mention he has a storm cellar with reinforced lead doors.
And if it turns out necromancers brought all the zombies back as their soldiers in order to conquer the world, I would switch sides. Only people who would persecute me for being a turncoat would either be dead or doing my bidding.

 

[Shivari]

Snip

Alright, I'm ready to critique, and since you asked for it, I'll start with Shivari's plan.

Okay I'm to format my critiquing like this:

Weapons:
Location:
Food Supply:
Water Supply:
Raw material Supply:
Other:

Okay here's the actual review:

Weapons: blunt objects: Those would work for getting through zombies to get to a close destination, though it is very hard to kill a zombie and you can get tired easily.

Location: Wal-Mart/Target: That's pretty smart considering thats the best place to get food and resources, and also because there are few entrances.

Food Supply: Roof farming: Brilliant!

Water Supply: Rain: So what happens when It doesn't rain for a week?

Raw Material Supply: Home Depot: Thats good.

Other: How would you find twenty people in a zombopocalypse? And even then they wouldn't be very trusting, and just to make things harder at least one would probably be infected and pretending not to be up until they turn. What if the bridge collapsed while supplies were being moved?

Review Complete

Weapons response: I'm writing this from the point of view that there aren't a load of zombies quite yet, so the first few hours should be fine with shovels and the like. It's more just a matter of having a small group and working together to plow your way through. And like I said in a day or two we close up shop for good, so weapons will turn into just a safety precaution if the barriers on the doors fail.

Water supply response: Well I'd hope that there would be enough containers in Walmart (there are quite a few large ones) that we can fill to at least have some stable water at first. I also stated in a later post that I would purify urine in that little technique, but that won't give us that much, and would probably go mostly to plants. That technique works really well if you have tons of salt water though, which I don't have near living in Cleveland.

The water tower isn't too far from my location but I'm not exactly sure what we could do with that if there are thousands of zombies hanging around and all we have for a plan is to fill up some container. So yeah, any suggestions on the water supply issue?

Other response: Well twenty is my max number, as in if I have ten people with me and someone runs up to us and needs help we'll take them in, but after twenty it would be a rejection. But ten would probably be best in the long term though. You kinda have to weigh whether you should get a larger number to get everything set up quickly or a smaller number so supplies last longer. You also have no idea if you'll even be able to choose between the two, you might end up with five and just have to work extremely hard to get all of the supplies within 48 hours.

About how I would find them, like I said that would be chance. If there a lot of people in the streets freaking out after seeing the news if I found someone or a small group of people that seemed to be calmer and able to work I'd have a chat with them to see what they think about working together. I'd probably also try to get someone I knew to work with me, but I won't go horribly out of my way just to find they already went off somewhere. And I''d just pitch my idea to people and maybe they have something better, who knows. But if I act like I'm confident in my plans and assure them people will follow. People are bound to want some leadership, and if that ends up being me, I'll take it and do what I can.

Oh and the bridge thing, that's unlikely that it'll ever even happen, as we'd need massive amounts of spare raw materials, as these building are across the street from each other, and it would have to reach to the top of the roof. So that's just kinda something that would be cool to have, but can't really happen unless we took everything from Home Depot and just threw it all together. Most likely if there was a group in the other store we'd each build an armored truck (kinda like in Dawn of the Dead) to exchange some supplies if needed and walkie talkies to be in the hands of the roof-top watch out. They would only turn it on when a flag is raised so as not to burn through batteries to quickly.

 

[Monkeybone]

Three words:

Zero Suit Nikes

​

No zombie would ever touch me, well... Unless they try stealing my shoes.

 

[stormcrow5]

INFO:zombies dont have superhuman sences they wont find u if your on the different side of the planet, you need to remember that zombies if they did come back they would just be rotten flesh they wont be super strong they cant seance you from anywhere they will only find you if u alert them and if that happened they would let a low moan because that's the only sound they could make with rotten vocal cords what would alert all nearby dead to you then they would all start following you till they loose your trail or they all get a bullet into there head.

 

[Monkeybone]

INFO:zombies dont have superhuman sences they wont find u if your on the different side of the planet, you need to remember that zombies if they did come back they would just be rotten flesh they wont be super strong they cant seance you from anywhere they will only find you if u alert them and if that happened they would let a low moan because that's the only sound they could make with rotten vocal cords what would alert all nearby dead to you then they would all start following you till they loose your trail or they all get a bullet into there head.

Sorry, man, it's buddy's thread so it's his house rules. If he wants to have him some hax't zombies, it's his prerogative. If you want to make your own thread with your own flavor of zombies, then by all means go for it my man. I'm just glad they're not Crimson Heads or something.