What's YOUR zombie escape plan?

AntiAntagonist

Neither good or bad
Apr 17, 2008
652
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I MAY be screwed. My office is in the basement of the building, however I have two paths for escape.

My home is pretty defensible since I'm on the third floor and the front door just needs an apartment door to cover the glass. Then I just need a rope ladder to go out the back when needed.

Pros:
Martial Arts background - zombies are easy to throw and trip
Many exits
Many restaurants, delis, and food shops
One melee weapon

Cons:
No transportation
Major Population center - more zeds
One melee weapon
 

Captain_Ne-San

New member
Aug 11, 2008
75
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I think I'm screwed. I live on the second floor apartment and the only weapon I have in the house currently is a dull hunting knife and a compound bow. The bow would be useful since I have the tips meant for hunting elk, nice little razor bladed things. The only reason the bow is not useful is I have a grand total of five arrows.

Jumping out the window would be a great idea, except my car is parked around the front of my building. If all worked though, best case scenario but I'm not making any bets, my car a Pontiac Grand Prix from 89. A car that's actually made of metal and has a nice sized V6. I could probably mow a few down, if nothing else.

Though realistically, I'd probably be dead in about 22.7 seconds.
 

AntiAntagonist

Neither good or bad
Apr 17, 2008
652
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0
Skalman said:
Souplex said:
Fangface74 said:
Souplex said:
Zombies are by definition walking corpses, meaning everything slowly deteriorates without their bodies making new cells to fix it. If you can hole up for at least a week you are good.
Zombies by definition don't really follow the laws of nature. That's more of a 28 Days approach, the bad boys in this hypothetical are animated unnaturally,
Its killbot uprisings we should worry bout.
Metal. Logical. Upgradable. Manufacturable. Repairable. Organized. Pretty much deadlier than zombies in every way. Technology is improving faster than corpses are.
Well that's what lightsabers are for... ;D
Plus Killbots have a pre-programmed kill limit. Once they get to it they shut down. Gen. Zap Brannigan quelled a major robot uprising by launching millions of people on a suicide mission.
 

Souplex

Souplex Killsplosion Awesomegasm
Jul 29, 2008
10,312
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Why does everyone on a floor above first think they are screwed, zombies cannot really lift their legs high enough to climb a staircase without bashing their heads open on every step. Second floor is a safe place to be!
 

Souplex

Souplex Killsplosion Awesomegasm
Jul 29, 2008
10,312
0
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AntiAntagonist said:
Skalman said:
Souplex said:
Fangface74 said:
Souplex said:
Zombies are by definition walking corpses, meaning everything slowly deteriorates without their bodies making new cells to fix it. If you can hole up for at least a week you are good.
Zombies by definition don't really follow the laws of nature. That's more of a 28 Days approach, the bad boys in this hypothetical are animated unnaturally,
Its killbot uprisings we should worry bout.
Metal. Logical. Upgradable. Manufacturable. Repairable. Organized. Pretty much deadlier than zombies in every way. Technology is improving faster than corpses are.
Well that's what lightsabers are for... ;D
Plus Killbots have a pre-programmed kill limit. Once they get to it they shut down. Gen. Zap Brannigan quelled a major robot uprising by launching millions of people on a suicide mission.
But we, uh... I mean they dont have a killbot manufacturing limit.
 

kyouger

New member
Jun 22, 2008
145
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0
1. Grab as many guns, food, water and the zombie survival guide and climb into the attic. Also, have dad bring the truck around to the front yard. Since we don't have a staircase leading to the attic, this should be fairly safe from 20-50 zombies.
2. If we start running out of ammo or supplies, jump down onto the truck and get our ass over to town.
3. Assuming the place is infected, most of them will be contained inside buildings and cars. So we get over to Kmart, grab ammo, food and two-way radios.
4. After that we run over to my school. It has very few windows and extremely heavy metal doors. Plus, it is built on the top of a relatively steep hill, which will make it hard for zombies to climb.
4A. If we meet anyone who's not zombified, we'll take them with us. The more people watching out for zombies, the better.
5. After we hole up inside the school, we'll take the truck on daily or weekly trips into town to get supplies and gas. Two of us will stay on the bed and fire at any zombies that we string along. This is a technique used in the ZSG, and is very effective.
6. If it moves on to a class 3 or 4, then I suppose we would have no choice but to move. I still don't know where, though. That's one of the few chinks in my plan.
 

Kikyoo

New member
Apr 16, 2008
124
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Well this is kinda interesting. Firstly I have many weapons up in my room, in my bed, and a few under my bed as well. ATM I don't have any shotgun shells in my room, so my 12 gauge would be of no avail, I've got a full 50 .22 Magnum and 5 in my 2 clips. I'm out of .357 sigs save for the 9 in my gun. I've got about 22 .357 Magnums witch is probably going to be my weapon of choice, but with such limited ammo I'll not make it far relying on it. I have a few shitty replica swords that are almost useless, but I have a few that are fully functional. Mostly I have to think I would be using my handmade 11 pound hunk of iron vaguely in the shape of a sword. The blade would dull badly, and might bend some, but it would not break. One hit from that will break bones and crush skulls, however there Isn't any room here to swing it. I'd have to clear some out first with small arms fire and a smaller sword that can be used in closed quarters. I have one that is ideal for that sort of situation, one I've named Bonehacker. It's a full tang Chinese barbarian sword, that I have been able to decapitate a dear with in one swing. I doubt I'll have that sort of effectiveness with it in such close quarters, but it would at least let me stand my ground. I also have a few large hunting knives in my room, as well a few tools.

Carrying this mess is going to be impossible however. I have more weapons than I have hands, and even if I tried to carry them all there comes a point when you can't use the weapons you have because you are over burdened. So, assuming zombies come bursting threw my door, I grab a knife and my Sig, and hold em off for a few seconds before grabbing my 11 pound sword to try and drive them back threw the doorway, so that I can escape threw the window. However I would hear them coming up the stairs, and even entering the house so I would have some time to prepare. It would also take them a little bit to tear my door down. So my ideal load out would include my .357 Magnum winchester rifle, strapped to my left leg. It would cut down mobility but it is my weapon of choice. also at my hips I would have my .357 sig and my .22 Magnum. I can hang my barbarian sword from a belt loop and it will be easy to grab. My hunting knives, and a backpack I keep in my room, as well as all my ammo and 2 hand axes I keep in my room. Most my swords are to big to take along, so I'd leave em. Various pocket tools I keep around with me. And a flashlight. I'd be extremely weighted down with gear, so running zombies would catch me, but shuffling ones wouldn't get me so easily.

For a plan of escape I have 2. If the zombies are few in number and I can clear the area of them, I'll go gather up all the weapons in the house as well as some food items and load them into the pickup, and then head to a piece of property my family owns. There is a water source, animals to shoot kill and eat, wood for construction. Plan is to live there until the zombie madness blows over. Plan B if there are to many zombies to kill, then I'm going to have to travel lighter, and try to sneak away. Fewer weapons, and a lot less ammo, but every zombie that chased me I would have to kill. Zombies don't get tired you know and it's just a matter of time before they catch you. I'd head east along the creek. The water isn't the cleanest, but in a pinch it would work. Just keep along it, till i hit the lake, then keep going east to my property in the middle of nowhere. This obviously is desperate, but if I can't fight my way threw them, my only hope is to lose them in the forest behind my house. If there is no escape, then I will make a stand in my house for as long as possible. Try to get to my ammo boxes, and collect the weapons around the house.

If they attack when I'm asleep well I keep my .22 under my pillow and a few swords in my bed as well as my .357 Magnum. So I drop a few with my .22, then grab my Magnum and drop a few more before resorting to old Bonehacker. From there it becomes my standard plan. If I can survive that first wave I try to escape based on what seems best. Success or failure really just depends on the fine details. Tho well prepared it would be easy to get killed thinking I had a moment to reload, when I really did not. Trying to fight my way threw, eventually I would grow tired and get overwhelmed even with swords, axes, and hammers.

The real question is after the zombies kill me, and I become a zombie, would I still wield all my guns and knives, or would I drop them and just try to gnaw your legs off with my teeth?
 

AntiAntagonist

Neither good or bad
Apr 17, 2008
652
0
0
Souplex said:
AntiAntagonist said:
Skalman said:
Souplex said:
Fangface74 said:
Souplex said:
Zombies are by definition walking corpses, meaning everything slowly deteriorates without their bodies making new cells to fix it. If you can hole up for at least a week you are good.
Zombies by definition don't really follow the laws of nature. That's more of a 28 Days approach, the bad boys in this hypothetical are animated unnaturally,
Its killbot uprisings we should worry bout.
Metal. Logical. Upgradable. Manufacturable. Repairable. Organized. Pretty much deadlier than zombies in every way. Technology is improving faster than corpses are.
Well that's what lightsabers are for... ;D
Plus Killbots have a pre-programmed kill limit. Once they get to it they shut down. Gen. Zap Brannigan quelled a major robot uprising by launching millions of people on a suicide mission.
But we, uh... I mean they dont have a killbot manufacturing limit.
Bender: 'Truly it was a sad day for robot kind. Well, we can always make more killbots.'

We'll just have to trust Zap Brannigan if that day comes. After all he did call it on that Evil planet of Neutrality.
 

multiple_man

New member
Jul 23, 2008
17
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well, if i knew that there were zombies inside my house already, i'd probably run to the kitchen, grab a knife, then commit hara-kiri to avoid being eaten alive. nothing sucks more than having your intestines/organs pulled out by zombies when your still alive. except maybe getting cancer at birth.
 

Albino Ninja

New member
Nov 11, 2007
124
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0
every one of you guys said that you were screwed because your on a high floor. You guys are safer, but you have a problem with weapons. I live on a hill, so I would have a bit of time before they could make their way up. Plus I live in kind of a small town so they wouldn't spread that quickly. Heres the plan: pack a cooler with food and drinks get my neighbor(one of my friends) grab a spud bar(a large iron rod that weighs about 50 lbs) and a sledge hammer. hop in my car and make my way to another friends house. pick her up then go to walmart. at walmart I will go directly to the hunting section grab all the shotguns, rifles, ammo, coolers and food(canned preferably). I don't have to worry about another one of my friends because he has read the zombie survival guide, but I would go check on him anyway. go to our local mall(which is kinda small) close the metal shutters and wait it out. it doesn't sound that great but you know it might work. plus if anyone at walmart gives me any crap ill bash them in the stomach and tell them that it is a matter of survival.
 

Some_Jackass

New member
Aug 7, 2008
287
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Well my Guitar Hero controllers would have another use besides rocking out with...though I also have a pool cue, which sounds like a more intelligent selection...but Ill take em all for this sice I can strap whatever Im not using to my back...this way when I club a zombie to death with a guitar, Ill immediatly start playing a killer solo until I realize Im not plugged into my XBox anymore...

So after I fight my way down the staircase and am out the door (after breaking one of my guitars over my brothers head, leaving him as zombie bait while I get away...dont give me that look-its the zombie apocalypse, every man for himself. Humility is for the dead) Ill jump into my car and make for the nearest gas station and very quickly fill my tank, grab a spare gas container or two and fill those, then grab only the essencials from there: Food, water, beer, the [dead] clerks shotgun from the back (maybe), some car oil, beer, condoms, some of those delicious snack cakes, beer, and the most important item of all, windshield washer fluid.

From there I get out of town and head east, making it a point to pick up an uninfected survivor or two, and head to where theres a town full of 2nd story apartment buildings, each with only 1 door to the street, which can easily be barricaded. Theres also a back window overlooking a lower roof/fire escape for most of them, so emergency exits are no problem. Now all thats left to do is sit back, crack open a cold one, and enjoy the end of the world...
 

rocktard

New member
Aug 11, 2008
8
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my building is actually well equipped to deal with slow moving zombie masses.
we live on the second floor above a cafe, the two windows that lead outside are secured with steel bars, the only way into our house is up a stairway which is down an alleyway, through a huge gate then up a set of steel stairs that have locking gates at the top and bottom, if they get through the first all we have to do is burn out the horde gathered and wait for the next to assemble.
if supplies start to get low we are above a block of nearly all cafes or restaurants, there are two large and two small supermarkets within a 10 min walking distance and our back patio leads onto nearby roofs.

of course if they knew how to climb, or were the fast breed of zombies our fortress would be more like a prison, the kind where everyone gets eaten slowly in front of their close friends then reanimates to feast upon any survivors.
 

Liam Wolfy

New member
Nov 21, 2007
102
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0
One word: CRICKET BAT!!!!!!

Shaun Of The Dead Style... Yeah that's how it is.

Oh and the Zombie survival Guide.
 

jimjulius

New member
Apr 24, 2008
8
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0
I live in a small 3rd floor flat in the West End of Glasgow... Being on the 3rd floor I reckon I would have some forewarning before the attack (via news reports or observing what was going on out the window).

Since my Landlady has not fixed the external door to the flat (despite being asked to) and the internal door has a large pane of glass, my position would not be defensible (unless I boarded the door up, and anyway I don't have enough supplies to last a zombie siege).

The best option for me would be to make a break for it, but unfortunately I have virtually no useful anti-zombie weapons. The best I could manage would be to grab my two big kitchen knives and largest frying pan. The knives I would stash in my belt and I would use the frying pan as a primary weapon as I fought my way down the stairs and out the door.

I would also take my plastic handled sweeping brush with me, holstered through my belt with the sweeping head over one shoulder. While it is not useful offensively, down the staircase I could jab the zombies with it to unbalance them and topple them backwards which might buy a few precious seconds to whap them with the pan.

Importantly, I would tie a dish towel round my face and put on my ski-goggles to avoid contamination from blood spatter, since I would not know how zombification was contracted and would not want to take any chances.

Assuming I make it outside, my first port of call would be the corner shop nearby. There I could grab important supplies, and possibly even meet other survivors. Here, I would use glue and masking tape to attach the biggest of my knives to the handle of the brush. This would make a pike-style stabbing weapon, albeit one that could easily be broken excessive force.

After taking what tools I could find, I would travel West, leave Glasgow, and head for Loch Lomond. Hopefully the lack of large settlements would benefit my survival...
 

EeveeElectro

Cats.
Aug 3, 2008
7,055
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Indigo_Dingo said:
Grab my iPod. Go to my garage and grab a Sledgehammer. Put iPod on and start my Music To Fight To playlist. Grin like a maniac. Start doing whatever feels natural.
That made me laugh XDDD

I would... let's see... I have a chair I could clobber them with, and a metal rod that was supposed to be a curtain rail that I could hit them in the head with xD
 

Smyter

New member
Aug 10, 2008
73
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Him i would run to my man cave break open the glass case containing my obsidian 1h sword then grab my 2 favorite pistols (named ebony and ivory) then i would proceed to the nearest mall for more weapons and supplies and if my freinds are alive i would go get them and we would have a zombie killing compation ...sorry if missspelled any thing tryed to type fast
 

SecretTacoNinja

New member
Jul 8, 2008
2,256
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Souplex said:
Why does everyone on a floor above first think they are screwed, zombies cannot really lift their legs high enough to climb a staircase without bashing their heads open on every step. Second floor is a safe place to be!
Ah cool! That's my plan then, because I'm incredibly lazy :D
 

PedroSteckecilo

Mexican Fugitive
Feb 7, 2008
6,732
0
0
I work in an office! i'm fucked! oh wait... I have a large heavy white board, some paintings... a few pictures... I think that MIGHT be enough to make my way to the kitchen and grab a knife or something.

Since I work in the center of Downtown, it might be hard to get out. I'd probably try to use the Plus 15's (above street building connector walkways) assuming they haven't been flooded with Zombies and get to my GF's workplace. Which I would then try to make my way to the closest police station, as in Canada that's the only place that'd have high ROF weapons or Shotguns.

EDIT: Were I at home I'd go for my Canadian Zombie Slayer Special! A Goalie Stick!(American's have their Baseball Bat, Brits have a cricket bat, Canadians have their Goalie Stick!)and back it up with a hammer from my tool box and one of my 6-foot dowel rods from when I used to do Staff Fighting.
 

hamster mk 4

New member
Apr 29, 2008
818
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Immediate plan would be to get my hands on any thing that could be used as an improvised melee weapon. My office cubicle is pretty sparse in that department, so I may end up using a power strip as a flail. I have taken some marshal arts but putting exposed skin anywhere near an infected zombie is asking for trouble. I definitely will not punch for the head but if worst came to worst I would kick for the knee.

Once out in the open I would make my way to a hardware store where I would get a shovel. I expect the half life fans to have purchased/looted all the crowbars by the time I get there. Shovels have the advantage of reach and can be used as both a thrusting or swinging weapon. Plus if there is to be any chance of containing an outbreak the contaminated bodies must be buried or burned. I would also endeavor to get every inch of my body covered especially the hands. It may not stop a determined zombie but it would slow one down and reduce the chance of accidental infection.

Once properly attired or even before I would try to link up with my friends, especially the one whose father is a cop in a small mountain town. Alternately we could head to the local military base assuming they are accepting and screening refugees.