What's YOUR zombie escape plan?

[the protaginist]

um...my computer desk and the door are at an L-angle,so when they started coming,i'd push my office spinny chair(i'm at home,but i don't know how to say spinny wheeled chair properly) at them,cuasing them to fall.while they're getting up,run over to the barrel chairs,whip them all open,and grab the handgun my dad has stashed in one of them. from there,open the screen door and grab my bike or my dad's keys to his '85 Caddilac cheville(crash course driving,literally.)from there,it depends.am i being funny or serious?

Funny:drive to the local pub,have a nice cold drink,and wait for this all to blow over.(anyone who gets what movie i'm talking about gets a gold star.)

seriousrobably go to the airport,hope someone who can fly survived,and get to canada.

 

[Captain_Ne-San]

Funny:drive to the local pub,have a nice cold drink,and wait for this all to blow over.(anyone who gets what movie i'm talking about gets a gold star.)

Shaun of the Dead, where's my star?

 

[the protaginist]

http://www.kshousingcorp.org:8081/images/Star%20Pictures/large_gold_star.png


oh how i love that movie...

 

[Wolfwind]

Some people are saying they'd be okay because of martial arts. Doesn't sound like attacking these things bare handed is any kind of good idea, considering they don't feel pain and all they have to do is bite you. So unless you guys can kick their heads off or blow their heads apart with a punch and not get infected, I don't think any kind of unarmed combat is going to keep you very safe.

If they started coming in through my door right now, I'd have a problem on my hands. I'm on the top floor of my house, and I'd have to worry about protecting my family. Weapon wise, I've got enough. I don't have any guns unfortunately, but I've got three katana's, a wakizashi, a bo, a shinai, a bokuto, several knives, and a pair of sai. So everyone could get something to defend themselves with, since I'd count on my brothers to help me out. Since the stairs in my house are kind of narrow though, I'd probably be rocking the bo and using thrusts to knock them back until we can hopefully get out of the house.

From there, we'd drive to the stores I know that carry suitable weapons and anything that can be used as armor, especially to protect the arms since they'd be the most exposed to being scratched or bitten while fighting. And since Toronto is a big city, there are enough places to find supplies, and enough supermarkets and buildings to hold up in.

That's pretty much all I got plan-wise, cause I'm more of the type of person to adapt to a situation and come up with plans on the fly. In a twist of irony, I'd probably be one of the guys that gets killed doing something stupid that I've condemned characters for doing in zombie flicks. Something like trying to save my dog or some shit.

 

[The Potato Lord]

5-day plan for sure-fire zombie survival
1) get camera
2) hire out a helicopter
3) go to mall
4) meet the tough-guy cop and shoot stuff with him(remember to tell him "I've covered wars you know." even if you haven't it means you get perfect aim with any guns you find.
5) face-off with badguy
6) find scientist( they all will tell you crap you don't understand so it doesn't matter which one you find, just connect it all to the zombies)
7) meet love-interest( mankes you immune to death)
8) jump away from an explosion dramatically( ya know, For Awesomeness points.)
9) get infected ( provides basis for later immunity to zombism)
10) get cured ( now immune to zombies, you don't have to worry about them)
11) escape super-secret military clean-up(You're immune so you automatically get an oppritunity to escape.)
12) find an awesome ride with a better gun than any others ou've used so far( It's mounted so ammo isn't a problem.)
13) immediately get one-upped by true villan who will have super-high-tech weapons (but because your protagonist ability gives you a +20 to all stats your now crappy gun can beat him despite all unlikelinesss that that could happen)
14)Get into hand-to-hand combat with villan while surrounded by zombies.( you can beat him by kicking him in the back while you run circles around him because he can only use his instant kill-move and his kung fu yell punce that take too long anyway.)
15) as your conqured foe falls into the clutches of the zombies. wait for your love interest to look at you then do a dramatic yell of anguish (to increase effect fall to knees while doing so)
16)By now all of the zombies have been taken care of and you can go back to normal life but only after all of your claims about the zombies have been ignored by the media.

FIN

If you can tell me what i'm referencing(A.K.A. summarizing) I'll give you a cookie but you have to buy it your self at a local place that sells cookies.

 

[the protaginist]

i'd say dead rising?

 

[chessdragon]

Crowbar for multi uses. Backpack full of survial gear. 3 months of food and water. Profent use in firearms pistols, rifles (shotguns are almost worthless in retrospect). few gallons of water. map of states and country. A radio. Air horns with ducktape to make distractions if it get to hot. The Zombie Survial Guide and World War Z by Max Brooks ( to keep awake and educate). My mp3 player and a sword for style.

 

[vede]

Erm, I live in Oklahoma. Low population density, high weapon-count.

My survival plan? Continue life as normal.

If the situation were as if there were hordes of zombies despite the population, and they were coming in the front door? Alright.

1a. Crank music volume of computer all the way up, grab bag. (The bag is one of those bags that hangs down at your waist, for constant easy access.) (no one seems to go for distractingly loud sounds in this age filled with loud music, wtf?)

1b. If the situation permits, open the big freezer (this might be close, depending on my current computer situation) which is filled to the brim with about half a cow.

2. On way to step 3, sweep sister's many, many hair styling spray bottles into bag.

3. With meat and loud music distracting zombies, go to back room, grab metal bat, pour lighter jar into bag.

4. Break back room window, exit back room window.

5a. Moving along side of house; break office window, break bedroom window.

5b. If situation permits, break living room window.

6. Haul ass back into back yard. Jump small fence, go from backyard to backyard westward, till I get to the huge-ass field (seriously, huge-ass field, like, maybe a mile or two of grass.)

7. Keep hauling ass.

8. Once exhausted, begin walking, organize bag simultaneously.

9. Continue westward away from population center

10. From where I live westward, the population density just keeps getting smaller. A few times you might hit a city or so, but it would probably be easy going till I hit the rockies, when it would become EXTREMELY easy going. I doubt I'd go all the way to the rockies, though. Along the way, though, there's Black Mesa...

(Seriously, Black Mesa. It is in Oklahoma, as well as New Mexico. I think it might be the location of the fictional (or so we think) alien-invasion laboratories.)

 

[hem dazon 90]

i have the zombie survibal guide id follow it to the letter

 

[Mr0llivand3r]

DO NOT USE FIRE!!!

fire is impossible to control, even with a fire extinguisher. you could end up accidentally burnt alive because your own house went up in flames. and also human flesh and bone takes a long time to burn through. the zombie would keep walking and moaning at you until the fire destroyed its brain and killed it. that could take hours.

anyway, I'd grab the biggest, strongest blade I could (probably the sword i have hanging on my wall) because blades are silent, and wouldn't alert any other zombies in the vicinity.

then i would make my way to the Home Depot down the road and grab other things that could be used as weapons. solid metal rods for caving in skulls and sharp objects that could hit the zombies from a reasonable distance.

then make my way to the top of a building with lots of provisions and cell phone batteries. call and wait for rescue

 

[Chaossebba]

well, i got 2 swords which i bought once, so those would probably be a weapon of choice, for blunt weapon id probably take the biggest hammer i can find around the house.
After that id check outside the windows to see where the least of them are, then proceed to jump/run out that way and look for survivors!

 

[imperialwar]

well at my desk i have a flashlight and a fire extinguisher. The chair i am sitting on and my computer i am typing with. 5ft to my left is a storage cupboard with alot of books and documents as well as a telephone books and a vase. i sit at my desk in a vast open lobby, with a completley glass entry way. Fortunately the doors aren't automated. I presume the glass is quite strong as it is continuously buffeted by strong winds year round. There are stairs 10 feet to my right that go up to a mezanene(sp?) level. Up there is the managers office, he has some power tools, screw drivers and hammers i could use as weapons i guess. Near that is our boardroom, which has an attached kitchen, no knife in there is longer then 6inches though. There are 4 lifts and 16 floors to this building, with 4 stair wells ( not including the foyer stairs mentioned earlier ). There is a pool, a gym and a wine store, a sauna and indoor jacuzzi. So i could wait it out in style i guess....
i could always haul ass over the back fence, but that really wouldn't get me far, unless the Zeds are only coming from the south, heading north...

I to am a martial artist and unfortunately have o remind everyone, you will get tired fighting zombies.. especially weilding weapons. I have studied Kenjuitsu, kendo and ninjutsu weaponary most of my life. The longest i have trained with my katana was about 6 hours, once. The next day my shoulders, forearms and hands paid me back in full.

 

[wordsmith]

Get shotgun, get ammo.

don't miss.

ooh and loot obv

 

[M0rp43vs]

my room is covered top to bottom with hidden weapons

There are weapons from floor to ceiling but you can't see any of them?

Anyway, weren't the Martial Arts developed purely with living adversary's in mind? I think you and your kick ass family would need to develop the first Undead countering form (heavy on knockback blows, limb breaking, nothing whatsoever to with moves that cause pain etc...Necro-Fu maybe?

Break their legs and watch em squirm, hell yeah!! (p.s. this sounds like an 8bit theatre joke) Necrofu, eh? sounds like a plan.

no seriously, a nice smash to the head kills their brain(if they are those kind of zombie that are kept alive by minimal brain a la shaun of the dead) if they were the "living-parasite-hiding-in-them-like-those-goddamnned-regenerators-and-iron-maidens-god-i-hate-them" kind(which I guess isn't the case) we'd be screwed.(man there are alot of zombie threads)

 

[The Blue Mongoose]

1. Get Flame Thrower

2. Go To Nearest BP

3. Hook Up Flame Thrower To Fuel Pump

4. ???

5. Profit

 

[Liam Wolfy]

Go the the nearest pub grab a cold pint and wait for all this to blow over!!!

Shaun Of The Dead rocks... That's essenitally my plan except get alcahol-armaments (Cricket Bat)-supplies-friends. And go to CARDIFF CASTLE!

 

[wahi]

Grab my iPod. Go to my garage and grab a Sledgehammer. Put iPod on and start my Music To Fight To playlist. Grin like a maniac. Start doing whatever feels natural.

may i be impertinent enough to suggest "battle without honor or humanity" from the kill bill ost? a minute into the song and you'll be swinging the sledgehammer like a katana

 

[wgreer25]

If I am at home when the Zombies come, I have a plan. Than plan includes my friends Smith and Wesson, and his big brother Mossberg. I have 100+ rounds of shotgun ammo and 3 hand guns. My plan would involve making it to my truck (not my wife's pussy little car) and plowing over everything I can on my way to the marina where my boat is docked. Firefight my way to the boat and float away. The only problem is that my boat is not zombie ready. I don't have any food stored on it and I don't have any extra fuel. So I would have to stop somewhere on the way (another firefight at the local grocery store, that would be cool). But I think boat is the way to go so you can let it blow over an let the military do their thing.

Besides the guns I would also grab my axe and chainsaw, because you just never know.

PS. personal note, my backyard is a forrest and every year I need to do a little clear cutting with the chainsaw to keep the forrest at bay (you wouldn't believe how fast some of this crap can start to encroach on the house). I have a hockey mask that I wear when I do this, I think my neighbors are a little nervous.

PPS. someone mentioned that fire is not a good weapon because it is too hard to control. Ever seen the movie The Mist, I would call it exibit A for your argument.

 

[toastmaster2k8]

well first i would gather up all the guns and ammo in my house get food and supplies go to the
Fire station (My most of my family is firefighters) get the fire trucks get as much food gas and diesel we can find more survivors get to Alaska build some kind of defense and wait till they the zombies starve

P.S tell me if there are any gaps in my plan