Will You Press the Button?

[CpT_x_Killsteal]

"You will know without a doubt the purpose and direction of your life"
"but you can no longer use restrooms"
Fuuuuckin' hell. Well I live in the bush, so I already walk out my door and piss. And if worst comes to worst I can install a portable toilet and pretend it's a fashion statement.

 

[FirstNameLastName]

"You become a tyrant of a country and turn it into a superpower."
but
"Your country will go down the path of Hitler's Germany."

Respect my authoritah!


EDIT:
"You will be beamed aboard a spaceship, and befriend the aliens, and explore the entire universe with them, using their technology to expand your life and health for several thousand of years."
but
"you will never return to earth, and never find another human being of someone compatible to love."

Oh wow. I quite literally began laughing out loud at this one. If it were real life, I would be bashing on that button so hard my fist would bleed.

"Each press grants you 10 dollars."
but
"It will also kill 1 Random person for each press."

What's the draw back? You mean I can gain money and help out over population at the same time?

 

[soren7550]

You could press this button or not but you'd still find out if you were with the majority or not.

I... don't think this counts? Let's try another one.


You could die with no pain and nobody would suffer from your loss. but You die tomorrow.

... this isn't something that helps with the suicidal ideations!

 

[San Martin]

It says I can now shred like no other, but the 'downside' is that I play the bass. I fail to see how that's a downside. Without the bass there's no funk, and to whomever says bassists get no action: between Brian May and Bootsy Collins I know whose dick I'd rather suck.

 

[Veldel]

You get one wish every day for the rest of your life but every wish you make causes 100 ppl to die.

Day 1
Alrighty then I wish for a TARDIS with the knowledge to use it.

Day 2
I wish to be like a Time Lord with regeneration.

Day 3
I wish for all the doctors gadgets and for them to work regardless if it makes sense or not.

 

[Glongpre]

You have all the money you could ever need, without having to work

but

You become a magnet for birds and they constantly poop on you whenever you go outside.

Quite the dilemma. I will have to take the money and create somekind of anti bird turd lazer that shoots them out of the sky. Or I could create a biological weapon to kill all birds. I am sure some other animal will evolve and fill the niche.

 

[-Ezio-]

You can teleport anywhere in the world
but
Your mother-in-law must come with you

not married. hooray for loopholes.

 

[laggyteabag]

"You can eliminate an internet community of your choice" but "You will never be able to use the internet again."

Hella no.

"You will find out the definate answers to all of history" but "It all appeared to you in a vision/dream so not many people will believe you."

Yeah, okay. It seems like a really cool thing to know. If people don't believe me, their loss.

"You create a pizza that everybody loves and you become famous for it" but "McDonald's get ruined."

Sure. I could go for that. Pizza > McDonald's anyway.

 

[Sampler]

http://willyoupressthebutton.com/17904/yes

You can access the internet with your mind

but

The internet connection speed is horribly slow no matter where you are

Not too bad, having the power is better than not having the power, way I see it, at home or have signal, carry on using the internet on devices at usual speed, but, need access and otherwise wouldn't have it, then yeah, I can put up with a bit of lag..

 

[Ihateregistering1]

Some of these are good, some are just weird:

'You can fly BUT only 5 MPH and 5 feet off the ground.' Assuming I can still run and walk normally, hell yeah!!! Great party trick. Plus you can fold your arms across your chest and look like M. Bison, totally pimp.

'Fast food is now healthy BUT no internet forever'. I'll be the first to admit this one was kind of tempting.

This was my favorite in terms of being funny: 'You will be able to stop every war, Cure cancer, End the world hunger, Stop the global warming BUT you will be stinged (their spelling, not mine) by a Wasp'.

'You will become a Jedi BUT You must live with knowledge of an impending galactic armageddon that you will cause.' If I knew that, couldn't I just kill myself prior to me starting it?

Anyway, there goes my productivity.

UPDATE: Best one yet: 'There will be world peace BUT Everyone sounds like Samuel L. Jackson and ends their sentences with "************".

 

[freaper]

"You could turn into anything you want but when you turn back no one knows you anymore."

Was the most interesting one I encountered. How important is our self-image and how much do we care what others think of us?

 

[FirstNameLastName]

"You are able to become any fictional or historical person you want."
but
"You only get to live half of the life they did."

Okay, I will become God! Gods lives forever, half of infinity is still infinity. Unless they are talking about half the life as in you can only do half the stuff they can do. Well, God is all powerful and all knowing, so half of infinite power and knowledge is still infinite.

Some of these are rather stupid, and without any kind of drawback. I got one that said I can use the force, but only when no one else is around. As opposed to what? Right now, when I am able to use the force with people around?
Also, why do so many of them come back to food? It seems it's the generic draw back that doesn't need any context, just "something good," but, "you can never eat food, but don't have to either."

 

[Kotaro]

You become extremely attractive
but
you are the opposite gender and attracted to the opposite gender from before

Well for one thing, I'm already bi, so an inversion in sexual attraction would change absolutely nothing. As for being the opposite gender, I don't really give a crap.
Yeah, I'd push it.

 

[CommanderL]

You can create anything with your mind and have a super high I.Q but It takes you 20 years to figure out how to use it

the fact people didnt press the button surprizes me the only downside is waiting and thats not that bad

 

[Xman490]

I went through so many I forgot to note my first one.

 

[Aesir23]

"You will receive one billion dollars but you can never be hugged or kissed ever again"

It probably says something about me that I didn't hesitate to press the button. The only thing that would change for me is I would have a billion dollars.

 

[Fijiman]

"You get one, rule-free wish, but so does everyone else."
Knowing the human race, most of them will probably waste their wish on something stupid without even realizing it, but many will wish for something stupid that ends up fucking everything up, so no.

Spoiler: BONUS ROUND!

"you can travel all of space and time, but you have to commit mass genocide of your species"
Soooo basically I'm The Doctor?

"Your mom will live until you die, but your dad will die right now"
My dad is already dead.

"You go to an eternal paradise, but your family will never know what happened to you"
If it weren't for the fact that my family has already lost two people just within the last year I would probably say yes to this.

"You become a highly paid professional athlete, but you have to spend one month living without using any money"
Well this is an easy one to cheat. It says you have to not use money, it doesn't say anyone else can't spend money for you.

"You will have any existing superpower, but your weakness would be seeing your greatest fear"
Well considering I don't even know what my greatest fear is I don't see how this is a down side.

"You get to attend Hogwarts, but you have to wax off one eyebrow"
Let's see, few minutes of pain and a tiny bit of embarrassment for a lifetime of magic. I think we have ourselves a deal here.

 

[Rebel_Raven]

I'll bite.

pokeman were real and you could have any one of your choice as a pet but you can only ever eat broccoli and nothing else
Nope.
'm amazed the world of Pokemon still exists with universe shattering pokemon, and planet annihilating pokemon being common.

Try 2:
you get free hats from any shop but you smell bad

Spoiler

http://youtu.be/CdhokojWtYQ?t=45s
maybe

 

[Kmadden2004]

"You become Tumblr famous forever..."

But

"You must post, daily, an unpopular opinion"

So... a bog-standard Tumblr user, then?

 

[soren7550]

You have all the money you could ever need, without having to work

but

You become a magnet for birds and they constantly poop on you whenever you go outside.

Quite the dilemma. I will have to take the money and create somekind of anti bird turd lazer that shoots them out of the sky. Or I could create a biological weapon to kill all birds. I am sure some other animal will evolve and fill the niche.

Or, ya know, use this nifty invention:

Spoiler

Plus, with all that money you can get one of 'em hurricane resistant ones with the knuckle grip handle.