your drunken mistakes.

Daveman

has tits and is on fire
Jan 8, 2009
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Literally every single thing. I can't think of a single thing I have done when drunk that I don't regret. Well... maybe one or two, but the vast majority were terrible.

Do you guys have a friend who is so hopeless with women that he literally can't do anything right? He's not really fat or anything or a total loser but he just seem to manage the simplest of things when it comes to the opposite sex. I'm that guy for my friendship group and quite possibly a few others. I'm actually fairly legendary in that department.

I will tell you one thing I did, to satiate your lust for stories of what I have done. When told what a girls name was, having just been making out with her for ages, I said "Funny, that's my mums name". I now have that recanted to me every time I go out by my friends and this girl is no longer friends with the guy who introduced us because it's too weird.
 

Schmutz

New member
Feb 8, 2011
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Graduation, after party:
I dragged my grammar teacher to the dance floor and did the Napoleon Dynamite dance.
 

LightningBanks

New member
Apr 15, 2009
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I went for a jog, ended up in a lake...good times ^^

I also ended up making out witha girl, who then headbutted me in the crotch after, for reasons I cant remember. Kinda regret that, as the girls just a douche to be, despite us meeting at the party, and us getting on well before we were drunk.

Ahh well
 

Da pyro man 999

New member
Aug 24, 2009
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Well,i fell over on the way home from the pub and smashed into a wing mirror. But any mistakes i made by choice, i smashed a guy into his car for leaving scratch marks on mine. Later on, i realised that the mark was there when i went to the shops that morning.
 

Vault Girl

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Apr 17, 2010
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After a lot but spacious drinking of, coke and rum, jagerbombs and tequila slammers on St Patrick's day i accidently donated my cab fair to a leprechaun who was going around the Irish pub looking for donations for comic relief (I'm from the U.K)

I didn't have the heart to ask for it back :(
 

megaraccoon

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Dec 7, 2010
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Ashesinmind said:
megaraccoon said:
RobCoxxy said:
megaraccoon said:
lets see drunken mistakes from when i was 13 to now at 22?
1. banged my cousin
wait what

I usually just end up waking up next to ex girlfriends best friends, getting high or confessing feelings/getting emotional :p
then im afraid you dont get drunk enough if your still able to use hadn eye co-ordination to use a splif or even take a piss while standing then you're not drunk enough however should you wish any of my list to happen to you with the benifits of no clothes a mouth of vomit a headache and not able to remeber your own name then plz come on down to cwmbran i promise youll have a great time and you wont ever know it!
If it meant meeting your lovely cousin I would gladly come to cwmbran for a good time.
Also could you put list the age you were at for each of those events cause I'm dying to know which ones you did at 13?
srry but shes long scince been married and has a kid on the way plus she lives as of 2 months ago in scotland also chronological order is:
1-13
2-15
3-16
4-18
5-18
6-18
7-19
8-19
9-21
10-22
 

concrete89

New member
Oct 21, 2008
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Drunk half a litre of vodka, and proceeded to run around a festival campground, alternating between asking people for cigarettes, demanding booze, and throwing illegal fireworks into hopefully empty tents.
I have never been so savagely (and justifiably) beaten in my life.
 

Exo-Mike

New member
Feb 14, 2010
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I recently thought it was a good idea while drunk to pour morter down the toilet.

My house mates were not impressed and I spent the next day hacking away at the result trying to think why it seemed like a good idea at the time (I still don't have a clue why but im pretty sure I had a reason)
 

headshotcatcher

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Feb 27, 2009
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monstersquad said:
headshotcatcher said:
There's cheating on my ex (Damn vodka-redbull, it's so good..)
I agree with everything you have to say sir. It's almost like vodka-redbulls are a magical potion of over-imbibing and bad decisions.
Yes but they are sooooo damn good.. If I'd be 18 I'd just make a barrel of it for never ending pleasure :D
monstersquad said:
headshotcatcher said:
And few months after, hooking up with the most hideous girl in the club (everyone's been there :p)
The worst is when you do it in the actual club. Just sucking face in the worst, sloppiest drunk way. And I also made out with a hideous 32-year old woman when I was just 16. Oh mang, I've done that too many times......
I did.. Luckily nobody I care for saw it.. When someone saw me the next day and said "Jesus what were you doing last night!?!" I started blushing and stuttering and explaining everything and then the guy told me he just meant that I didn't say hi to him in the club.. Awkwardd :p
 

EmpressZombiKitty

New member
Mar 27, 2011
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I ended up cheating on my ex-boyfriend with a furry. It didn't realize he was until I woke up in his room more sober and gave it a look around... By far, the worst thing I have ever done.

Another time I was curious how heavy my computer tower was, so I picked it up and I slipped and fell onto my back. The computer knocked the wind out of me, but thankfully it was okay. Good thing too, it is an expensive custom-built.
 

garfoldsomeoneelse

Charming, But Stupid
Mar 22, 2009
2,908
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I should probably just make a list:

-Got weepy on girls that would've otherwise had sex with me.
-Went to highschool completely trashed just about every other day and made a complete ass of myself. Sometimes I got sent home, sometimes I made wildly inappropriate remarks at the worst possible times.
-Shared some very dark secrets with people I only spoke to about three times.
-Chatted up girls on Myspace and was horrified to discover the next day that they thought it was going somewhere.
-Stayed in a miserable relationship because liquor helped me endure.
-Almost ate the noisy end of a shotgun.
-Had sex with a girl that I trying very hard to stay "just friends" with, got clung to.
-Broke a store window while I was stalking around the town at night.
-Drove. A lot. Never had an incident but sometimes I actually wanted to. Never doing it again.
-Tried to fight my therapist. In my defense, the guy could be objectively described as a smug, condescending cocksucker.
-Ran away from home for a couple days. Didn't sober up at any point on the timeline between departure and returning.
-Climbed a railroad signal post and got attacked by wasps.
-Attacked a mugger, which was one of those rare occasions where doing the stupid thing pays off.
-Got tail from some very sketchy women that I'd otherwise be wary of (clinic says I'm still clean, though!).
-Possibly had sex with friend's girlfriend.
-Random acts of vandalism... a lot of them. I've probably cost the local government several thousand dollars in random destruction.

In my defense, when all of these happened, I was never content with "buzzed" and wouldn't put the bottle down until I reached noticeable impairment/vomiting. Don't drink too much anymore.
 

Tynermeister

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Feb 10, 2011
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I woke up covered with vaseline and permenant marker that one time.

That or was videoed singing (screaming?) Man I Feel Like A Woman at a german kareoke bar.

Both were after a 700ml bottle of rum. Probably not a coincidence, that.
 

OptimisticPessimist

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Nov 15, 2010
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Just recently I destroyed my bathroom whilst attempting to take a shower and made an ass of myself in front of my entire family. Whoo Vodka! And Gin! And Stupidity!
 

Togs

New member
Dec 8, 2010
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was drinking jack and coke all evening no realising the coke i was using had been mixed already.

Passed out the sofa, woke up without eyebrows or eyelashes and had my entire face coloured in with black permanent marker.
 

Klarinette

New member
May 21, 2009
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Getting into discussions/situations that I'm aware are probably going to upset me, which inevitably cause me to cry. Drunk crying is a terrible thing. It also seems to be a typical girl thing. It's part of why I only drink in safe situations now, like how people usually do hard drugs only in situations where they feel safe and familiar. Same thing. It's a different kind of drunk, though... it only happens when I've really crossed the line, or had a tonne to drink in a relatively short amount of time, likely on a semi-empty stomach. It's just one bad decision after another, so I kind of deserve it.
 

Ekonk

New member
Apr 21, 2009
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megaraccoon said:
lets see drunken mistakes from when i was 13 to now at 22?
1. banged my cousin
2. beat the crap otta an copper
3. ran scraming naked through cwmbran town center
4. took a train to chedder gorge after three days of drunkenly hopping on and of various trains cuz i had no money
5. banged my teacher
6. got my ass kicked in swansea
7. stormed through a wedding and told the groom his missus cheated on him with his brother
8. ran naked through a brewery and got arrested
9. played halo then thought i was in the game and freaked out
10. ran into a wall
and finally got a boat to ireland and woke up in belfast with a bar maid named jessica
umm thats it im afraid dont drink as much as i used too and probably wont ever again....ok maybe at my stag do but i'll have a week in advance.
Your life sounds fucking awesome, disregarding the consequences.