Your favorite way to kill guards.

[userwhoquitthesite]

I love this thread. OP gets 148 tops hats made of pure hugs.

There are so many ways to answer this question, depending on the game...
So I'm gonna post several, and let anyone who wants to guess what game each murder belongs to.

Throwing them off the roof, letting them see the fast-approaching cobblestones as they wait for their lives to end in fear.

Sneaking up behind them and snapping their puny necks.

Leaping to immense heights, showing them that they face no mortal man, but a GOD who walks upon the earth, crushing their spirits before crushing their bodies.

Stalking, hunting them them, hiding just out of sight, then ripping open their throats, wetting the ground with a spray of their blood, and leaving them for the vultures.

Humiliating them by shooting their weapons harmlessly out of their hands, letting a well-placed bullet destroy their very manhood, then, as they stand redoubled in shame and torturous agony, I mercifully end their pitiful lives with a final shot to the forehead, letting my laughter be the last thing they hear.

Sneaking up behind them and casting a cruel spell that leaves them a witless simpleton, barely strong enough to stand, and dying of a slow poison.

Moving like a shadow around their own fortifications, silently crushing them beneath my mighty hammer.

Holding them at gunpoint, humiliating them by robbing them of whatever useful items they may have, then knocking them out, letting them wander back to their allies... with high explosive stuck to their backs.

There's bound to be more, but I am actually having trouble recalling more games with actual proper guards. I may edit this, if I don't get lazy

 

[rofl jet]

In the most bizarre and hilarious way available
example: dropping one guard off the roof onto another guard

 

[ethaninja]

Definitely the stabby kill in Alpha Protocol.

Holy crap! Someone else who played Alpha Protocol! (And enjoyed it?)

The game's awesome. Definitely worth a play to people who like dynamic stories/gameplay.

Did they manage to fix the shoddy accuracy issue?

Never had a problem with it. It's an RPG, not a shooter.

True. But still, I thought the point of having guns were to, you know, shoot. Especially for a game that is supposed to include "stealth" attributes.

 

[Direwolf750]

Use the vortex spell to gather them all together, tornado to blow them apart, then drag them into the sky and blast them over the town walls with a giant fireball. Maybe turn some of them into gold, summon pillars of fire to smite them, maybe even summon a being of elemental cheese to dish out some fun times.

Oh how we are laughing.

 

[Zeema]

Slitting their throats and bringing them into the haystack... Who knows what goes on in their eh?

I called it the 'Surprise Roll in the Hay' and that was be4 i found Zero Punctuation

My fave ways to kill guards are

Stab to the Face
Putting a Grenade in his pants
Shotgun to the Face/nuts
The Kill Animations in ACB
C4 lots of it just wait for someone to walk past and BOOM goes the Dynamite
Fat Man missile Launcher
Arrow to the groin from long range
Smash there face in with a Lead Pipe
Shoot a guy in the nuts then kik him in the face
Stabby Kill in Alpha Protocol
Sneak Attack
Trick Guards into Attacking each other
Jedi mind trick
Force push
SWTFU
Punching
The Death Animation for Hermes
Any Kill in GOW
Knock em out then throw em off a boat
Sniper kill
No Scope
360 quickscope
Normal Scope
Throwing objects
Karate Moves
FALCON PUNCH
Shooting a Red Barrel
2 birds one stone
Orbital Laser
Melt them into ash Piles
Make them run into open fire
Convince them to follow you into a house on which they get attacked by rats
Road Kill
Road Kill cept in a Aerial machine
Dentist Drill to the Face
Grenade thrown
Claymores
Noob Tube
The Desert Eagle
spawning a Boat ontop of them [or large object]
Make them Sick
make them go to bed with u then stab them in the night
Any Magic in Fable Games
The Crossbow
landing on a Mine
Pushed off a Roof


Whew i think thats everything

 

[Hoiguyyami]

Stab them in the neck with a Syringe Sedative, then steal their clothes and keys and hide them in a dumpster/clown car.

 

[iLikeHippos]

I just like to kill them over high places, like bridges or mountain cliff-edge passes.

Than I can always push them over the edge, or kill them while they lean over the edge.

I mean, it's very satisfying to just scream out "THIS IS MY SHIELD-BASH!" and than punt them senseless to their pitiful demise.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

* toss, push or pull them form a highspot and let gravity finish them
* Shotgun to the face, back, nuts, ass or gut
* Good old fashioned hand to hand beatdown
* crouch completely invisble in Stealth Armor and pick them off one at a time in Vats
* Drag them behind my horse
* blast in Dead eye with a random weapon

 

[jackpipsam]

I don't
I try to solve our errors thought a governmental system

 

[dontlooknow]

Sledgehammer. Red faction Guerrilla. WIN

 

[johnnyLupine]

The sneak-past-and-let-them-live-to-see-their-families approach.

Sadly not always an option.

This is a really satisfying way of playing some games, but even in the ones which encourage this ive found some fun ways of dispatching enemies.

In mgs3, in the mountain region, there is an enemy base complete with trenches, planks to get over said trenches and afew storage buildings. Whilest trying to sneak my way through the area i came across a storage shed, i saw a patrol walk into it. i waited a while longer and he came back fairly soon. When he left i ran into the building and set acouple of explosives about the place. i went back to my hiding place and when the patrol went back inside. Boom.

Oh, there is also a mod on morrowind which allows you to attempt to break your targets neck while sneaking, the chance of sucess is modified by your strength and luck ,i think. you can only insta-kill them if no one in the area has seen you at all. Thats quite fun.

 

[Beat14]

Well in Hitman Blood Money I used to love being disguised following the guard to a place where no one can see, then get out a single silver baller (Agent 47 choice of pistol) fire one shot to the head and be done with it. Yeah not very interesting, I know.

 

[Bobbity]

Definitely love the kills in Assassin's Creed, but headshots in most shooters are satisfying too. See also: Running people over in cars.

 

[silver wolf009]

Metro 2033, sneaky sneak they over pumped punumatic weapon straight into the ball sack! Works every time...

 

[Halceon]

Not. My preferred way of killing guards is not.

 

[ChocoFace]

I don't kill guards, only the targets. Once the guards know what's going on, i'll be long gone.
(Hitman series, so satisfying)

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

Sniper head-shot from range is preferable; sneak-attack shotgun to the back of the head if aforementioned sniper option not viable. If the game has a 'grab' function, all corpses must also be re-arranged into amusing and/or sexual positions before proceeding.

 

[elcamino41383]

Probably air assassinations in Assassin's Creed 2 and Brotherhood, especially when you have both hidden blades. Also sniping, especially in games that would have their heads explode, I think GTA3 and/or Vice City had that feature...

 

[XxSummonerxX]

Decisions... I'm going to have to go with... Fable 3 fire and vortex combo. Nothing beats picking a guard up and watching him spin around whilst on fire. If he's still alive after that he deserves to catch me. Unfortunately I have a 20k bounty in all cities so if they do survive, I stab them while they're lying on the floor, still burning... EEEEVIL!

 

[CheesusCrust]

Oblivion: Cast enrage on one of them and watch as his buddies are forced to bring him down.