Not sure if I got these totally right but:
1). "WELL BUGGER MY BUMBLE BEES BREADBIN" I find a way to incorporate this phrase into my daily life
2)."As the unconvinced friend said to the inventor of the fesses powered helicopter, THIS SHIT WILL NOT FLY"
3). " As the disgruntled Chinese zoo keeper said to the last male panda on earth FUCK THAT"
4). "you don?t have to worry about swearing on the internet, your mum wont find out, shes too busy fucking me.
5). "Its like coming home from school to find a walrus sitting at the dinner table, and you seem to be the only one who notices" cue the picture of the walrus and the quote "more potatoes uncle tusky"
Honourable mention "FUCK YOU, portals great and if you don?t think so you must be STUPID!