Your Favourite Zero Punctuation Quotes!

[Weerez]

"Portal's great, and if you don't think so you must be STOOOPID (picture of pug)"

"That way you don't have to spend 60 bucks and you can get added fun by drawing all the buildings with tits"

"Never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding, and you can spend all afternoon explaining that, but nobodies going to eat it because YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT"

"Airstrikes 2: Hooray for Airstrikes"

"Half-Life 2 Episode 2 Liverpool Nil"

"Team Fortress Two, England 3, alright I'll stop this now"

"Or flying to the highest possible height and jumping out then landing on an old woman"

"Being Shat On From A Great Height: The Game" (this ones text, he doesn't say it)

"They can shoot you half-way to Neverland because of magic accuracy"

My favorites.

 

[Sporky111]

I think realism was ditched once we had space marines fighting dinosaurs on planet [insert name of planet on Turok]

I find it hard to like a game where you can spend 15 years learning all the button combinations and nuances of a game just to be beaten by someone randomly mashing buttons.

we should give George Lucas a colouring book and rewrite the prequel trilogy.

Sonic doesn't need more games, he needs help. The kind of help that involves emptying both barrels of a shotgun into his innocent little head.

 

[darktheif28]

" you cant stick your dick in pudding and expect anyone to eat it.... it might still be perfectly good pudding but nobody is going to eat it because you stuck your dick in it!" something along those lines

it goes: never stick your dick in a pudding because it might still be good pudding and you might have had a good reason for it but no one is going to eat it because you stuck your dick in it

thanks for correcting me ASS, did you know that Greenland is really icy and Iceland is really green.....lol

sorry if i seem like an ass I'm just a perfectionist

 

[chuckman1]

"Fagballs".

 

[chaos666]

Maybe its best you went in alone the A.I. is so thick it might as well be living in a cave.

 

[plastic_window]

"The plot's about as twisted and impenetrable as a granite octopus"

I thought that was a very good similie. The best I've heard from yahtzee and the best I've heard in a long time before then.

 

[Anaeval]

"I like the idea of a professional troll though. It makes me think of a hideous creature under a bridge handing out business cards."

 

[Xojins]

"Now pair up my last few statements until this paragraph is roughly the same length as Marcel Prouste's A la Recherche du Temps Perdu, then read it out loud to yourself while occasionally flinging the text across the room so you have to go pick it up again, and you'll have a pretty good idea of the Mass Effect experience."

"Never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding, and you can spend all afternoon explaining that, but nobodies going to eat it because YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT"

"If the developers thought I'd buy the game just to see what 'twing-twang' is, then mission fucking accomplished I suppose, but I'm going to be very disappointed if it isn't a cutesy euphonism for lesbian cunnilingus. Yeah I went there."

"It strikes of trying to have one's cake and eat it: a phrase I never really understood. I mean, I think it's perfectly reasonable to want to eat a cake that you have; there's not much else you can do with a cake except maybe hide in one if you're a stripper. Sorry, lost my train of thought."

They're all great

 

[Ansem-The-Wise]

GO TEAM RETARD!!!

To paraphrase Oscar Wylde, 'no chance, you unreasonable dicks'.

This isn't the game for you if you enjoy jumping into the action. Come to think of it, this isn't the game for you even if you don't. I can't imagine what kind of person could consider this the game for them, but they probably live in a cave and subsist on raw fish.

For those of us who know which end of a gun makes a loud noise, it's essentially a magical 'hey, look over there' button.

Princess Zelda gets into a pickle and has to be un-pickled by the hero who is named Link when I feel mature enough to not abuse the 'enter your name' feature and Fagballs all other times.

Then a beaten and dejected Terry starts sniffing glue while Gonad crawls into the fetal position and softly giggles to himself.

Bosoms, melons, milk factories, bust funbags, knockers, valeestegs (couldn't understand), boobies, jugs, nipples, jugglies, STONKING GREAT TITS.

 

[Mumpadump]

"The day I fork out 70 bucks for an expansion pack, is the day I swallow razor wire, pull the end out of my ass, and floss myself to death."
I can't stop laughing at that

 

[JWAN]

"Go Team Retard!"
or
"Pants-on-head retarded!"

+1 for you

that and "Do it in my face!"

 

[ZombieFace]

"Fagballs" I peed a little when he said it

 

[Dufferking75]

"jeasus christ, i would expect this from a fucking rom hax, designed by HITLER!"

"you may think that it isnt that funny to love a game but FUCK YOU, Portals great and if you don't thinks so you must be stupid!"

"but there is really nothing that needs changing, it all fits together quite nicely like furious blood stained sticklebricks"

"how you enter sceneros where you can literlay beat the stupid out of peach while the crowd is screaming for blood is quite entertaining" (something like that)

"YOU MISERABLE, FANBOY, TWAT!"

and many others

 

[chaos666]

And finally here's a brief mentioning of Gears of War 2. That was it.

 

[pieeater911]

On reviewing Fallout 3:
"........Yeah, it's pretty good." I dunno why, but that made me double over with laughter.

Also, one can never forget the classic "Pants-On-Head-Retarded."

 

[Berndawg69]

" you cant stick your dick in pudding and expect anyone to eat it.... it might still be perfectly good pudding but nobody is going to eat it because you stuck your dick in it!" something along those lines

it goes: never stick your dick in a pudding because it might still be good pudding and you might have had a good reason for it but no one is going to eat it because you stuck your dick in it

thanks for correcting me ASS, did you know that Greenland is really icy and Iceland is really green.....lol

i'm just messing with you man, that ASS line was a joke from a show I Watch..."Robot Chicken"
sorry if i seem like an ass I'm just a perfectionist

 

[sanomaton]

None of that Zelda, erm erm phh, Applesouce where you spend six hours on a starting island learning the subtle arts of waving a sharp stick around going "Yah"

Dont know why but I bursted in laughter when he said "yah".

Me too! I watched it a dozen of times and every single time I laughed my ass off when Yahtzee said that "Yah!".

 

[Otaru Ikari]

From Ninja Gaiden 2: (may not be right but hopefully close)
"Because giant boobs and skimpy outfits are what they allow in the CIA. Maybe the T&A *ba dum tish*"

And:
"But fuck you if you want story, here's your story. Demons over there. KILL THEY ASS!"