Your Favourite Zero Punctuation Quotes!

[Datalord]

This won't be verbatim, but:
"If you give them guns, they will shoot old ladies. If you give them cars, they will run over old ladies. If you give them planes, they will jump out of them and land on top of an old lady" etc.

Someone can quote it more accurately, but <3

If someone hasn't done this yet,
"If you give them guns, they will shoot old ladies. If you give them cars, they will run over old ladies. If you give them planes, they will fly to the highest possible point and jump out onto an old lady"

 

[Incredible Bullshitting Man]

For some reason I find the pilot saying "Blighted!" in Halo review most hilarious. Well this wasn´t exactly a quote, but there are too many of those.

 

[Datalord]

Also, if you watch the credits it has another little joke yahtzee puts in at the very end, like
A guard saw me so i leapt back into the shadows but he yelled "DON'T THINK YOU CAN LEAP BACK INTO THE SHADOWS BOY" which impressed both me and my dry cleaner (theif review)

 

[Datalord]

OH WAIT, a new one

The mission mainly consist of beating people, beating bigger people up, waiting for people to stop long enough to let you beat them up, protecting people by beating up the people who want to beat THEM up, and some quick time events (press X to beat people up)

Edit:
And about as long as a documentaary on french war heroes
LOL, historical humor

 

[forever saturday]

the end of the bioshock review was something like this:

"If you are a console fps gamer and are into insipid boomfests like halo then bioshock is gonna seems like the shit but if you are a longtime pc gamer and are into more complicated titles then youre in for a kick in the balls maybe a gentler kick in the balls the most and an incredibly pretty and well executed kick in the balls at that but at the end of the day youre still walking funny" bioshock.

also:

"The only way it could be more awesome is if it had tits and was on fire" painkiller.

and:

"Youre free to go wherever you like climbing running jumping misjudging distances and faceplanting six stories down". assassins creed.

All I can think of right now.

no, I am not feeling very clever right now, for those of you who see the joke, thank you very much.

 

[Scorpioenigma]

'Oh, wook! He's a doggie! Mash up his wittle face and call him Chips?
I have a friend who constantly raves about how good fable 2 is even though I don't play it and never will. So to make him stop I just quote Yahtzee. ^^

 

[irishkid]

it is Stonking Great Tits not huge

 

[TheSKSpecial]

"Snooker Loopy"

 

[irishkid]

"Crysis is so pretty, that were it an inmate in a male prison it would be the ***** of ever mother fucker in that place before you can say Andy Defray"

"Imagine you just woke up from a 20 year coma and you celebrate by drinking two bottles of Mad-Dog 20/20 and pilot a helicopter bearing a cargo of enraged hippopotami"

" so you're left with a game experience that could be recreated by walking down a wide road in the middle of nowhere, stopping every five steps to crack yourself in the eye with a hammer....and the road is a million miles long....and the hammer is made of wank"

"Never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding and you can spend all afternoon explaining that to someone, but no ones going to eat it because you stuck your DICK IN IT"

"GO TEAM RETARD"

 

[traceur_]

"as the exasperated chinese zookeeper said to the last male panda is the world "FUCK THAT!"

fucking funny.

"there doesn't seem to be much reason to develop troops, vehicles don't move any slower they just take slightly longer to build and well they're fucking tanks!"

"I found the final group and sent them of to base via a path I'd completely cleared on the way there. At a point where the base could almost certainly see them without a telescope I ran out of time and the units disappeared, "we lost contact" went the character, BULL FUCKING SHIT, all possible threats were dead, we didn't lose contact I was looking at them! They were right fucking there! We were close enough to communicate by waggling our eyebrows at each other, what the fuck happens when the stupid arbitrary time limit tuns out?! do their battle royale collars explode? they all lose honour and disembowel themselves? WHAT!?, and just to put the cherry on it, you know who they were? absolutely bloody no one! generic faceless pricks of the sort I'd vat grown 50 of that day alone but we didn't make it in time so they're gonna make me do the whole fucking mission again, as the exasperated chinese zookeeper said the last male panda in the world "FUCK THAT!"

I laughed so fucking hard at that.

also pretty much everything from his halo wars review.

 

[SimuLord]

" you cant stick your dick in pudding and expect anyone to eat it.... it might still be perfectly good pudding but nobody is going to eat it because you stuck your dick in it!" something along those lines

Bingo. This one's mine as well, although to really capture the spirit of the thing it should be more like "nobody is going to eat it because YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!" Y'know, get the effect in there.

 

[ultimatechance]

ah nvm, quotes are all in good fun. Lets just keep the quotes in here, and not in your posts as attempts at trying to make you seem smart.

 

[NoNameMcgee]

"What quickly becomes obvious is that The Witcher is very much a PC exclusive game, which are typically designed to be as complex and unintuitive as possible so that those dirty console-playing peasants don't ruin it for the glorious PC gaming master race."

 

[Plackt]

Probably "Clive Barker's Clive Barker's Jericho by Clive Barker" or "The difficulty curve wavers up and down like the knickers of an indecisive hor (?) before plunging dramatically into a Sunday stroll down easy street for the last hour or so."

 

[Koobatashin]

As the exasperated Chinese zookeeper said to the last male panda on Earth... FUCK THAT! (points at panda)

I don't understand why people have been given the same quotes 3 dozen hyperbillion times on here.. and are even wasting their time ,and by posting it ours, and saying that "I don't know. There are so many great ones."... We know, that is why there is a post dedicated to them you prick. But forgive my rudeness, you did only want to have that small glimmer of hope that people would see your pants on head retarded comment and think 'wow, what an obvious comment, the insight that you hold must be so vast that if that person were to have made a real effort our heads would implode from some power mightier than Christ'. . . but sadly no, that is not what happens. I now hope to push you out of an airplane and for you to land anus first on the Empire State Building.

 

[malkavianmadman]

"Crysis is so pretty , that if it were it an inmate in a male prison it would be the ***** of every ************ in that place before you could say Andy Defrain"

or

"If your new to this series let me breifly sumurise my feelings for japanese RPG's ayyeeeearre etc etc"

 

[Sarah Rayburn]

"Never stick your dick in a pudding. It might still be good pudding and you can spend all afternoon explaining that, but no-one's going to eat it because you
stuck your dick in it!"

Yahtzee is so awesome.

 

[rorschachCM]

"just because you can have something doesn't mean you should. i can use a syringe to remove the filling of a cream egg and replace it with branston pickle but it wouldn't be a good idea....at least i don't think so...hold that thought.
BEEEEEP