Your worst joke
- Thread starter BBLIZZARD
- Start date
What about Holocaust jokes? Does it help that I'm Jewish?
I'll assume no anyway. Though that's an injustice to my people. We had to suffer through the Holocaust, I'd like to think we atleast earned the right to joke about it.
But instead I'll just share my favorite joke of all time (which isn't a Holocaust joke, it's a Hitler joke, and thus isn't offensive to anybody, and if you are somehow offended by this amazing joke then as I said I'm Jewish so piss off):
Why did Hitler kill himself?
--
He saw the gas bill!
!!
I love that joke.
My second favorite joke is a Polish joke but I'm not Polish and I don't want to offend anyone and it doesn't really fit the topic of this thread, it's really funny but isn't particularly bad so I'll restrain myself.
There's also atleast one really funny Holocaust joke I really want to tell (one I learned on this site actually) but as I said I'm restraining myself from Holocaust jokes.
I'll assume no anyway. Though that's an injustice to my people. We had to suffer through the Holocaust, I'd like to think we atleast earned the right to joke about it.
But instead I'll just share my favorite joke of all time (which isn't a Holocaust joke, it's a Hitler joke, and thus isn't offensive to anybody, and if you are somehow offended by this amazing joke then as I said I'm Jewish so piss off):
Why did Hitler kill himself?
--
He saw the gas bill!
!!
I love that joke.
My second favorite joke is a Polish joke but I'm not Polish and I don't want to offend anyone and it doesn't really fit the topic of this thread, it's really funny but isn't particularly bad so I'll restrain myself.
There's also atleast one really funny Holocaust joke I really want to tell (one I learned on this site actually) but as I said I'm restraining myself from Holocaust jokes.
Some of my favorite jokes are pick-up lines.
Here's one.
"Excuse me, does this wrag smell of chloroform to you?"
The other.
Me: "Check out this watch. It has magic powers."
Pretty Lady: "What does it do?"
Me: "It lets me know what kind of panties you're wearing."
Lady: "Really, now. What kind am I wearing."
I put my ear to the watch.
Me: "It says you're not wearing any."
Lady: "No, I'm wearing a pair."
Me: "Hm." I prod at the watch. "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
Here's one.
"Excuse me, does this wrag smell of chloroform to you?"
The other.
Me: "Check out this watch. It has magic powers."
Pretty Lady: "What does it do?"
Me: "It lets me know what kind of panties you're wearing."
Lady: "Really, now. What kind am I wearing."
I put my ear to the watch.
Me: "It says you're not wearing any."
Lady: "No, I'm wearing a pair."
Me: "Hm." I prod at the watch. "Damn thing must be an hour fast."
A man walks into a bar. He has a dog with him that's wearing an eyepatch. The man says to the bartender "ask me about my dog." Unfortunately, the bartender does not hear him, because he went deaf in one ear as a child. He serves a woman at the other end of the bar. When he comes around to the man with the dog again, the man orders an imported beer. He forgets what he was going to say about the dog.
What's the best part about doing twenty-nine year olds?
There's twenty of them
please don't judge me, I know it's horrible
There's twenty of them
please don't judge me, I know it's horrible
dammit, i just read the first post. i had to remove my dead baby joke.
dammit! it was original, i swear!!!
ba-dmm TSS!
officially the worst joke I've ever TRIED to tell
dammit! it was original, i swear!!!
ba-dmm TSS!
officially the worst joke I've ever TRIED to tell
Ok ok here I go, KNOCK KNOCK, whos there? Boo. Boo who? Dont cry it's just a joke! Eh eh?!?Cheesy enough?
ok, i'm feeling rebelious, so i've come up with a NEW dead baby joke:
a dead baby walks into a bar, and the bar tender says:
"NO DEAD BABY JOKES ALLOWED IN HERE"
and the dead baby says
"YOU THINK I'M SOME KIND OF JOKE? FUCK YOU, MAN - I'M DEAD!"
WAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
a dead baby walks into a bar, and the bar tender says:
"NO DEAD BABY JOKES ALLOWED IN HERE"
and the dead baby says
"YOU THINK I'M SOME KIND OF JOKE? FUCK YOU, MAN - I'M DEAD!"
WAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
wait wait wait wait I got another one:
KNOCK KNOCK
who's there?
ORANGE
orange who?
ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN'T TELL A DEAD BABY JOKE?
WACKEDY SHMACKEDY DOOOOO!
KNOCK KNOCK
who's there?
ORANGE
orange who?
ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN'T TELL A DEAD BABY JOKE?
WACKEDY SHMACKEDY DOOOOO!
What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?
Being shot in the head
Two muffins are baking in an oven.
One muffin turns to the other and says "is it hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin responds "holy shit! A talking muffin!"
Being shot in the head
Two muffins are baking in an oven.
One muffin turns to the other and says "is it hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin responds "holy shit! A talking muffin!"