Zero Punctuation: Aliens: Colonial Marines

[pandorum]

1. I hope this crushes Gearbox, they have no integrity.
2. I hope this ends people preordering games, it just encourages assholes like Gearbox to make cash grab games.
3. I hope Yahtzee starts to review good games, constantly reviewing bad games is cute and funny but its like shooting fish in a barrel.

1. One of the more customer friendly companies has no integrity because of one bad game?

2. Pre-ordering is good in several situations. It's less an issue about pre-orders and more about companies phoning in their product.

2 really bad games promised to be awesome. Lies both games complete lies using Sega's money to fund borderlands 2 and outsourcing the game they were paid for to another company that's breach of contract.

 

[Bbleds]

Mine is not so much a glitch but just a complaint about how godawful the multiplayer turned out. A good friend of mine and I were awaiting this game with the anticipation that this was going to be something akin to L4D but with one of our favorite franchise monsters replacing zombies...., and boy was I wrong. Like a dumbass I pre-ordered the game and paid it in full, and like an even bigger dumbass plopped it in my x-box hoping maybe the multiplayer was something salvageable despite my friend telling me he was probably jumping ship due to all the terrible reviews plaguing the internets (and yes I envy him for being smarter and not wasting 60 dollars). So as most of you have experienced, I was still trying to convince myself after a match of extreme chaos ensued. Kill animations that should be awesome but look like the marine floated to me and died due to graphic glitch, suddenly dying after having no discernible animation or sound that I am being hurt, and most frustrating of all unloading a full shotgun blast/special attack into an opposing player and them laughing at me and killing me in one blow because of one of the most terrible leveling systems that give unbalanced a whole new definition of pain and agony. So now my moral dilemma is what should we do with this ungodly monstrosity some of us were unfortunate and, for myself at least, stupid enough to stumble upon? I was thinking shooting range, or if we want the subtle route maybe a coaster for drinks, or if we want to get inventive and a little extravagant maybe we can remake Aliens using copies of the game as replacements for the aliens.

 

[themilo504]

Can you blame people for enjoying you ripping apart games they don?t like?

 

[Dana22]

Alien vs Predator 2 was an amazing game. I know you played it, so stop talking about ships and spices.

 

[Ulquiorra4sama]

Yahtzee is self-aware. Who knew?

I have to agree with the "betrayal" part. People were complaining about this game being the last bastion of hope. But were you really surprised? Maybe by the fact of who was developing the game, but were you really surprised by the fact that an Aliens game wasn't good?

I thought that was just an accepted fact in the gaming world by now. You know, like "Final Fantasy games drag on for too long", "Call of Duty is racist", and "BioWare games have good writing".

I suppose after the hype around the stage demo for this, and back with the pre-rendered trailer for Dead Island we've moved to a point where playable demos soon are the only way to make gamers trust your product. So perhaps something good came out of all this after all.

 

[Bindal]

Thank you for the MASSIVE Spoiler-warning in the middle of the review about Hicks. Oh, wait. THERE WAS NONE!

You are welcome.
Unless you actually paid for this thing, in which case... You had it coming.

Sorry but here, I am peed off out of princible. If Yathzee reveals such a huge part of the plot (and pretty big twist in the canon), then yes, I expect a freaking spoiler warning. It doesn't matter how good or bad the game is - it is still wrong to do.

One bad game ?
Have you allready forgotten THE DUKE ?

Hardly their game - they just did about 10% of it as the game when they got it was more or less finished. You can't blame them for that.

 

[TWEWYFan]

Serious note: Aliens Vs Predator 2 is the best Alien themed game I've played. what about you?

I'm with you there. I think one of my favorite parts to this review was his summation of the Hicks retcon "It was some other bloke." It's not even really a joke, that is the explanation the game gives.

 

[RedDeadFred]

1. I hope this crushes Gearbox, they have no integrity.

The following is a massive amount of sarcasm:

Ya lets just make a whole bunch of people lose their jobs because of decisions made that are way above them! Who cares if they need the job to feed their families, their bosses lied to us!

 

[Bindal]

Serious note: Aliens Vs Predator 2 is the best Alien themed game I've played. what about you?

I'm with you there. I think one of my favorite parts to this review was his summation of the Hicks retcon "It was some other bloke." It's not even really a joke, that is the explanation the game gives.

Actually, the game says "long story". Who knows, maybe we would have gotten a more detailed explaination in DLC or a sequel.

 

[Sabin Felea]

This was SOO worth it! And it includes a shout-out to the AWESOME correspondents that have been barely containing their excitement since the game was launched and heard it was sh*t

 

[TWEWYFan]

Serious note: Aliens Vs Predator 2 is the best Alien themed game I've played. what about you?

I'm with you there. I think one of my favorite parts to this review was his summation of the Hicks retcon "It was some other bloke." It's not even really a joke, that is the explanation the game gives.

Actually, the game says "long story". Who knows, maybe we would have gotten a more detailed explaination in DLC or a sequel.

Well that was to explain why it was some other guy; which to my knowledge is still little more than a hand-wave. Now I wasn't as bothered by this retcon as some other people were, I just they'd explained it more in-game.

 

[TheThirdChild]

I wondered if you could be bothered to play this game, but seeing how short it is, it probably saved you a lot of time that week!

My favourite bug:
Had to go after the two woman, for whatever reason it was giving, and after walking 10 meters down the path they had taken, I saw them both standing round the corner! XD It's times like these I wish you could talk in the games.

 

[Darks63]

2. I hope this ends people preordering games, it just encourages assholes like Gearbox to make cash grab games.

Sadly if you watched Jim's newest vid you would know that people are already pre ordering launch titles for the PS4 with only the smallest of an idea of what the game play is gonna be like.

 

[sleeky01]

Am I the only one who thinks, that the bar in video game industry is now so low, that we allow such atrocities to be released? The worst thing about it is, that such disasters gain more media attention, that it distracts everyone from things that actually are good, thereby these publishers/developers get a free ride, and still cash in on the dross they put out in the market by the way of preorders. They must be punished.

There is one way to punish.

DO......NOT.... PARTICIPATE!

Totalbiscuit has a great video up on Youtube explaining this:

<youtube=mf5Uj4XIT1Y>

 

[mjc0961]

Don't forget to blame SEGA, they're the biggest bastards in this entire story. They LET Gearbox jerk them around for 6 years, and then when they were handed this piece of shit to put to market, they actually put it to market to screw us over instead of canceling its release and figuring out what the hell Gearbox had been doing with all that time and money they asked for.

Fuck you, SEGA. If anyone company gets crushed and goes out of business because of this, I hope it's SEGA. As much as I hate the likes of EA or Capcom, they wouldn't be stupid enough to let this game get so far out of hand. It would have been canned long before we all wasted our $50 or $60 on it.

Hell, makes me wonder how many of those games that suddenly get canceled end up getting canceled because of shit like this.

 

[Kinitawowi]

Serious note: Aliens Vs Predator 2 is the best Alien themed game I've played. what about you?

Capcom's Alien VS Predator

QFT. Linn Kurosawa was awesome.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: This

This game is a trainwreck that you can't stop watching.

 

[GonzoGamer]

I can't share a glitch because I wasn't one of the suckers who bought this game. I haven't taken it off my rental list yet either so I may be a sucker too.

I do have a great idea for a Blues Bros game I think I shared here once before.
Burnout Revenge: Blues Bros edition. It just sounds like chocolate & penutbutter to me: you got the cars settings and music from Blues Bros as a skin to Burnout Revenge...but with bigger crash junctions.
Anyone remember what crash junctions are?

 

[Anti-American Eagle]

Funny and True story: I was right when you took Yahtzee's word on this as gospel. Atleast I know the truth about this game. Atleast I know.

 

[theyellowmeteor]

Did anyone else hear punctuation in this 'Zero Punctuation' video?