Zero Punctuation: Alpha Protocol

[VMerken]

I bought and completed Alpha Protocol on day one because there's something about Chris Avellone that's hard to resist, such as being one of the guys behind Fallout 2, Planescape: Torment, Knights of the Old Republic 2 and Icewind Dale. Yeah, I'm a bit of a fan there.

Compared to those previous titles, however, Alpha Protocol isn't up to snuff. The fact that I needed about 10 hours to blast through the game without really trying is one indicator of that. The other is that I don't really feel like replaying the game, even though I probably saw about 40% of the game's content. The game doesn't pull you in the way, say, Fallout or Planescape do.

Agent Thorton, his signature grin and pretty much the entire cast is entirely forgettable; it's as if Obsidian got their hands on "Hideo Kojima's Top Secret Scribblebook of Failed Metal Gear Solid Characters" and thought, "Why not"? Technically, the graphics and music do their thing acceptably well, but nothing really sticks and nothing is really fresh except the Heavy Rain style timed dialogue scenes.

You do feel that the potential is there, though. This could have been a really great game. Let's hope they managed to put that potential into Fallout: New Vegas instead - After the sad pseudo-rpg sandbox that is Fallout 3, I'm expecting a lot from the guys who once made Fallout 2.

Oh, and if I ever replay it, I will do so before ever getting back into Final Fantasy XIII *shudders thinking about it*.

 

[Apophenia Overload]

Most of the cast is forgettable, but you better not be forgetting about Steven Heck! Or Brayko. Conrad Marburg is cool too but not as much as he was made to be in the trailer. Omen Deng was underused.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

Maybe now someone who was shouting 'Shite!' without any real experience with it will shut up, or maybe even try it to see for himself it isn't that bad.

Your naive optimism amuses me.

They'll just shout "Shite!" twice as loud.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

I don't think Obsidian understands the appeal of Fallout

Yeah, how could guys who worked on the first 2 Fallout titles as well as the aborted Van Buren (which was intended to become Black Isle's Fallout 3) possibly understand the appeal of fallout?

 

[Yossarian1507]

Your naive optimism amuses me.

They'll just shout "Shite!" twice as loud.

For every nine people who will not see the glorious truth of Alpha Protocol, there will be one who will, and we will gladly accept him in our ranks, for he found the true blessing.

Ok, I was joking obviously if anyone didn't get it. But I will say it hundred times - play it before you condemn it. Rent it, wait for the lower price, whatever - but give it a chance. You don't like it - fine, you have the right to. But if by some chance (actually pretty decent, contrary to what the most reviews are saying) you'll like it, then maybe you'll finally see it's not good to throw a poo at a game when you didn't even play it and just saw an opinion of couple of reviewers who were expecting Mass Effect 2 and didn't get it (because it isn't Mass Effect 2 in modern world. The ONLY similarity is them both being a third person game using guns and cover system).

 

[steveredd]

Rent it my dumb ass bought this game.

 

[Archany]

God damnit Yahtzee, No More Heroes 2 came out 3 FUCKING MONTHS AGO, YOU HOSTED A FUCKING AUSTRALIAN RELEASE PARTY FOR IT, IT'S ONLY 7 HOURS LONG, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD REVIEW IT

 

[UMNiK]

Story StoryStoryStory
Thats what the RPGs are for, remember? ROLE-FUCKING-PLAYING before GAME?!

 

[Tarakos]

What could he possibly have against Kevin Conroy? He's BATMAN! Anyway, I wasn't expecting a positive review. This makes me wonder if he doesn't just do the opposite of every other reviewer when it comes to a specific game.

 

[thenamelessloser]

That boss Yahtzee complains about could be much easier if

Spoiler

If you do some parts in Taipei before then you could have the option to poison the boss's cocaine which makes the fight a bit easier.

Also, I hated the lockpicking game, liked the other two mini games, but learned you can easily have enough EMPs to deal with mini games in levels if they are personally annoying. Also, I feel that in my first playthrough, the choices I made weren't really being an asshole at all... The second play through, an entirety different story though. Besides, that agree with pretty much the rest of the review.

 

[cavalerie]

I was expecting a lot more bile for this game.
It's good to see that Yahtzee isn't a pillock like the rest of the reviewers, that said this game was shit because it wasn't ME2 (which it wasn't supposed to be anyway).

 

[Yahtzee Croshaw]

This is an OK game, I know the plot isn't the best and this game if far from a GOTY between all 2010 releases, but it sure gave a lot of fun, and who can complain of re-playability?
I'm glad he didn't ripped it off as much as other titles, this game deserves some credit, cheesyness and all.
I'm on my second gameplay trying to make a genocide path, it's harder than it sounds... on hard.

 

[bojac6]

I just have to point out that the game would have been much better if the three JBs really were what you had listed at the end: Jack Bauer, James Bond and John Barrowman.

Screw Jason Bourne, I want to be able to play as Intense Interrogator (Jack Bauer), Screws Any Lady (James Bond) and Screws Anything with a Hole (John Barrowman). If you go this path, you can beat the game by hitting on David Tennant. Best game ever.

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

He didn't mean Kevin Costner did he? 'Cuz Kevin Conroy is Batman

 

[Techni]

Why would he care about Mario Galaxy being delayed? I thought like all real gamers he hated Wii

 

[Escapefromwhatever]

Why the hell was Kevin Conroy, the voice of Batman in the DCAU in the spectrum of 'dicks and assholes'?

Other than that, was a great video. Keep up the good work Yahtzee, and good luck with your book! ^_^

Because Yahtzee considers Batman to be an asshole. He was simply putting in Kevin Conroy to make it more interesting. Am I the only one who got that?

 

[Doomsday11]

I just have to point out that the game would have been much better if the three JBs really were what you had listed at the end: Jack Bauer, James Bond and John Barrowman.

Screw Jason Bourne, I want to be able to play as Intense Interrogator (Jack Bauer), Screws Any Lady (James Bond) and Screws Anything with a Hole (John Barrowman). If you go this path, you can beat the game by hitting on David Tennant. Best game ever.

Please make this game I would walk over an army of evil to play this game.

 

[ShotgunSmoke]

Seriously. For Yahtzee, this is a very positive review.

If he didn't like the game, he would focus on its weak points - AI, animations, graphics. Let's face it - AI and animations are really fucked up. Hell, he could've obliterated the game if he wanted. That's what he does the best.
He didn't mention any of these points AT ALL and focused on everything associated with the dialogue system - game's strongest point.

Yep. He liked AP.

 

[Virtual_Dom]

One of my favourites this year, alohtough he seemed a bit more positive than earlier reviews.

Also glad to see he thought not starting out with expert gun skill was a good thing.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

That explains so much, and similarly saves me time looking up the Australian release of SMG2, to answer the question of why everyone's favorite irked critic in a hat has yet to touch it. Though it is nice to hear that there is now a game that has respectable consequence-following action.