Zero Punctuation: Alpha Protocol

[Zing]

Maybe he meant Stephen Conroy? Australian Communications Minister trying to put in our terrible firewall crap.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

I managed to enjoy Alpha Protocl in spite of it's very real flaws. The reason seems simple enough - it delivered on the idea that choice had repercussions well enough to make me forget that the story just meandered around until it's conclusion. The action mechanics were functional at best, but struck me as being incredibly similar to those found in Deus Ex, which remains my favorite game to date.

Perhaps it was because of my fond memories of Deus Ex that I was willing to overlook the more damning flaws of the game. I suspect ths may be what made Yahtzee uncharacteristically forgiving in his review as I would assume that Deus Ex probably sat well with him as well.

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

Why the hell was Kevin Conroy, the voice of Batman in the DCAU in the spectrum of 'dicks and assholes'?

Maybe he doesn't want to be typecast?

Well as far as I know the guy himself hasn't done anything, even within his roles, to be put in that spectrum?

I wonder if he meant Christen Bale for his outburst on the set of Terminator, but that was a long time ago... Also doesn't seem like a Yahtzee mistake...

 

[Dfskelleton]

I liked the part of the review where he said "Ponce"

 

[Volucer]

While I liked some parts of the game, and generally agree with the review, I have to say that the hacking in this game is one of the worst minigames I've ever played. Though that might be because I'm playing it on PC, and a gamepad would be easier, I shouldn't be penalised for how I want to play the game.

As for the PMC thing, I think it's more to avoid putting a specific country as an enemy, doesn't anger any community. Sort of like how any game in the middle east sets itself in Iranaqastan.

The difference is that on PC there's even more bugs, the camera quite often decides to just spaz out and focus on the sky, and with hacking you control the left numbers with WASD + space bar and the right with the mouse, except they're extraordinarilary slow and feel out of place.
Although I've heard alot of the problems on PC go away when using a gamepad, think it's just a case of them rushing a quick port through for the PC...something which unfortuantly is happening alot nowadays.

just curious, whats so hard about it on pc? (im playing on my 360 so just curious as to which minigame/whats the difference)

 

[nick n stuff]

i was thinking about getting that game...not any more. thanks for saving me £40 good sir

 

[Psychemaster]

Picture incredibly related. BRB disc digging.

 

[JordanMillward_1]

Awesome review And Yhatzee knows who John Barrowman is! Which only proves that he agrees that, no matter your sexuality, you would hit that

 

[Imper1um]

...I never even heard of this game, but the fact that it lets you be that diverse and dickish seems appealing to me.

Seriously? It was on every advertisement for 3 straight weeks on the Escapist. It was getting annoying, too, so I bought the Founder's Club thing.

 

[Ulicus]

Anyway, this review annoyed me. You rip on games like Red Dead Redemption, complaining about stuff that you clearly didn't even know you could get around. But you were generous to such an awful game like Alpha Protocol.

It's almost like all the people who reviewed this game, complained about the difficulty of the mini-games (which are usually meant to be stupid-hard unless you invest in the right skills, anyway), but forgot to mention that you can skip *every single one* with the right equipment. Crazy.

Alpha Protocol is certainly flawed and it definitely lacks polish... but it's not an *awful* game by any stretch. It's just not a straight shooter.

I appreciate that Yahtzee was one of the few people to review the game as what it is: an RPG.

I can't comment on RDR but -- having played AP several (well, three) times -- I thought this review was fair. I didn't agree with all of it, sure, but I could see where he was coming from.

I was pleased to see the Deus Ex comparison, too. Because, imperfect as it is, the title does -- in many respects -- feel like something of a spiritual successor.

Which only proves that he agrees that, no matter your sexuality, you would hit that

Ack! Speak for yourself. Barrowman's one of the few bad things about the Who revival.

 

[Apophenia Overload]

Meh Yahtzee . I was hoping that you would really beat the shit out of this miserable game. Poor SI, poor gameplay, ugly graphics and bugs deserve that.

The game is very well a successor to action games with RPG elements such as Deus Ex, Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines, System Shock 2, etc. Even if it failed with many unpolished elements, it gets point for trying to be a whole lot deeper than most action games of the modern day. Yahtzee gets that, being the big DX fan he is.

 

[Kermi]

Interesting, the review came across as rather positive but still hostile. If he hadn't said it was "weak and poorly balanced" near the end I might have thought he enjoyed it.

 

[geldonyetich]

Yahtzee made it sound like it has some things in common with Deus Ex... so all of a sudden, I'm very interested in playing it. RPG/FPS is a good hybrid genre, in my experience. I'll probably wait until I find it for under $25, though. Besides, by then they should have most of the bugs patched out.

 

[sln333]

I was confused when he started off seemingly liking the game everyone else trashed. Then we got to a dog in a hat and it went downhill.

 

[happy_turtle]

Finally Yahtzee back to his best, I've played all his reviewed games over tha past few weeks and disagreed with his reviews; I'd started to believe he'd been making up game bugs to score quick jokes.

Alpha protocol is exactly as he describes a painful Deus ex clone with a worn-out plot and weird structure. Although I know it's a issue of personal preference, I love the fact that if you pump all your points into stealth you'll eventually be screwed. If I were a stealth assassin, I'd be fully expecting that eventually I'd be attacked by a grizzly bear/ cyborg nanny or killer bee swarm where stealth is pointless.

Please please Yahtzee keep this newer, more truthful review style up

 

[TraumaHound]

Wait...why is Kevin "Batman" Conroy on the ponce-meter? Even at it's lowest setting I don't see how Conroy's a "ponce", he's the fucking voice of Batman!

 

[Yossarian1507]

As a leader of the Cult of Alpha Protocol Fans, I thank you Yahtzee for making more favorable review than usually.

Maybe now someone who was shouting 'Shite!' without any real experience with it will shut up, or maybe even try it to see for himself it isn't that bad.

 

[J-Alfred]

I was kinda hoping for...
[img height= 200 width= 300]http://cdn.themis-media.com/media/global/images/castfire/mini/ebb98f8371c4a49b0b18be6f58c39f8c.jpg[/img]

Great review anyway. I think that the reason that the games industry makes PMC secretly evil is because in real life they actually ARE!

E3 is still going on right now... Do you think Yahtzee has a time machine?

And Yahtzee, why was Kevin Conroy on the list as the dickest of the dicks? Did he do something to offend you? Is it not enough that he created the ultimate Batman voice that made the character my favorite super hero ever? Fuck you!

Anyways, I actually totally called this review. Most of the other reviews have beaten the "broken AI" and stuff like that to death, so I fully expected Yahtzee to focus more on the story, as is his wont. And I too hope for another E3 takedown. With special focus on the PS3 Move shit. Tell me, Sony, if I don't want to play Wii on the Wii, why do you think I'll want to play Wii on the PS3???

 

[imaloony]

One of the better reviews as of late! The "I literally fucked her brains out!" Bit had me in stitches.