Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed 3

[GAunderrated]

You know, there's something really weird going on when the game looks more sensible than Yahtzee.

Assassin's Creed III: ... What is it with you and stabbing people?
Yahtzee: What is it with you and NOT stabbing people?!

Strange how our desire for games to be more mature about themselves has lead to this.

Well I could understand your point of view if the game wasn't called, you know, assassins creed. Which implies being an assassin which normally implicates some form of stabbing and or killing. People play assassins creed to be an assassin, not a fetch quest/farmville minigame.

 

[Allephus]

Would somebody please get rid of the world's longest fucking ad?!

 

[MS267]

You know, I got this game on release and enjoyed it for the first weekend that I had it, but somehow I just can't bring myself to play it again, and this has only just made me realise that it's because of the lack of actual assassinations. Every time I think about the game all I remember is 20 minutes of running through forest land, 5 minute combat mission, then 20 minutes of running back.

But there's always one thing that's really got me about AC - it's not a stealth game. I have no idea why Ubisoft decided the best way to characterise an assassin is to put them in a very conspicuous robe and have them run about the place. I never really noticed this in previous games but since Brotherhood I've actually played a few stealth games and it's made the series seem really odd in my eyes.

Do you know what would be a lovely start? A crouch button, functioning like in the recent Batman games. I noticed this in an early mission when you have to infiltrate a snowy fort as the Templar and I couldn't stop noticing after that, and I know it's not because Connor has diseased knees because he crouched when in tall grass. It just seems so odd that I have to position a pillar or box between me and a guard as opposed to crouching behind a nearby wall. At least if I could crouch I could pretend the missions I'm on involved stealth.

 

[CoL0sS]

I think Yahtzee is slipping. He used that Braindead lawnmower joke twice so far
Enjoyed the review, but I'm still waiting to try the game.

 

[Arren Kae]

Britain didn't have as valid a political grievance as America. American states realized they didn't need Britain's support anymore and Britain wanted to own them anyway. Like the pitiable Basque region of Spain which props up the rest of the country or Germany keeping te EU aloft.

Main character's a halfjun. How multiculural this presentation of the American revoltuon.

AssCreed, like Fable and Skyrim, know what you really want is a Decarator Tycoon simulator.

 

[Cardbird]

Funnily enough, AC3 is my top game of the year..I guess some people don't see what I do.

 

[Darth_Payn]

An here I was all ready to make a joke justifying the Assassins' participation in the revolution because they wouldn't want to be part of a nation where everything is De-creed.

But it appears the series already has been

Enough with the lame wordplay at the end of every ZP. It's just getting pun-ful.

Ah-HA! Nobody escapes PUNishment!

 

[Ljs1121]

I have to say, "Hey hooded knife covered man on a bench did you see a hooded knife covered man run through here" might just be the most accurate summary of the Assassin's Creed franchise I've ever seen.

I still love it, though. But I do hope in the future that the whole property management thing gets removed or at least majorly scaled back.

 

[Evil Smurf]

I'm having fun with the game and I've felt there is something missing from these videos lately, remember humour?

This was one of my favourite episode.

I hope you don't mind, I corrected your spelling and made your sentence more coherent.

 

[Tony2077]

I'm having fun with the game and I've felt there is something missing from these videos lately, Remember humour?

This was one of my favourite episode.

I hope you don't mind, I corrected your spelling and made your sentence more coherent.

its fine and people like you can just go away god your starting to get annoying

 

[Terramax]

Yahtzee needs to play one of the Tenchu or Shinobido games, where the whole emphasis is, indeed, on stabbing people.

 

[Evil Smurf]

It's fine and people like you can go away. God you're starting to get annoying.

So what did you like about Assassin's Creed 3? Seriously is it worth buying?

 

[Aaron Sylvester]

I thought the game had learned it's lesson during AC:Brotherhood when we spent way too long fucking-around on rooftops, interviewing people, etc and not enough STABBING.
And it seems AC3 has gone even further downhill.

To quote Yahtzee from one of his earlier Assassin's Creed reviews, "Ubisoft can't seem to grasp what makes their game FUN".
Pro tip Ubisoft: It's the assassinations in Assassination Creed that made it fun. I KNOW, it's CRAZY isn't it?
Not dick around in pointless minigames and farming money, not being surrounded by 20 guards and playing the "how awesome are you at hitting the counterattack button" game, get back to the fucking ASSASSINATIONS.

 

[mjc0961]

Good news everyone! This also doubles as a review for AssCreed Liberation on Vita! Seriously, I might actually like this game if it would just let me go around and sneakily assassinate people, but every time I'm just about to start having fun, it wants you to go do some other stupid stuff instead.

And why does it want me to go buy rival shops up? I don't seem to be getting a damn thing for it, not even a mountain of pointless money.

It sounds like I should just bin Liberation and go play Assassin's Creed 1. I might actually get to assassinate people in it!

 

[Tony2077]

It's fine and people like you can go away. God you're starting to get annoying.

So what did you like about Assassin's Creed 3? Seriously is it worth buying?

more assassins creed and the new features aren't that bad either and i like this new setting

 

[FemaleGamer5]

Yeah, when I bought this I wasn't expecting some bizarre mixture of Pirates of the Caribbean and f*cking Tarzan ¬¬
Not to mention the tedious first few missions painfully spent developing the pointless background of our less-than-riveting protagonist.

 

[Rblade]

I strongly believe historily significant goose needs to be a thing. a goose in a napoleon hat showing up in paintings and photo's of historical events, get on it magic internet photoshop gnomes!!

 

[TheCommanders]

The only thing I really disagreed with was Yahtzee's opinion of Haytham . The entire rest of the game playing as boring old Connor I kept wishing I had instead kept playing as the understated British bad ass. Not to mention that he made some way better arguments over Connor's naive and repeated trumpeting about some antiquated concept of freedom that he never really bothers to define.

 

[PhunkyPhazon]

It's fine and people like you can go away. God you're starting to get annoying.

So what did you like about Assassin's Creed 3? Seriously is it worth buying?

Personally, I think it is, but since I know not everyone thinks like me I'll just say that if you liked the previous games, then I think you'll probably like this.

Though looking back at my playtime, I have to admit that I think Yahtzee is right about there not being much "sneaking and stabbing". There's certainly plenty of both, but they're rarely seen together in this game. Regardless, the combat is a blast, running through trees is still fun (no, there aren't any super-tall-towers to jump from, but I don't think this should define Assassin's Creed), and hunting adds a different twist on the typical AC gameplay.

 

[Two-A]

i'm having fun with the game and i feel there is something missing from these videos lately oh i remember what it is humor

Dude, it's just a game review. You don't have to be so hurt.