Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed

[Kainti]

I agreed with the homeless people and retards, as a matter of fact on the last three missions I just took to fucking stabbing them. Fuck them, so hard.

Other than that, and the horse going slow thing (I preferred just to gun it and run around like an idiot), I find no flaws in this game. Except the main character, sadly he was the worst voice acting in the entire game. And he was the main character, seriously, why do so many games do that? (i.e. Mass Effect).

I felt the story was fantastic, and I loved the combat because it was so incredibly fluid if you didn't suck balls. I did everything other than collect all of the flags, so the tedium everyone mentions only nagged quietly in the back corner of my mind where all the bitches go, the rest of me had fun with it.

 

[Kell777]

Um, so, from the sound of it . . . Assassin's Creed is basically Thief: Deadly Shadows 2 ( or I suppose it would be easier to just call it 'Thief 4' ).

Is that the case?

 

[wi11]

Um, so, from the sound of it . . . Assassin's Creed is basically Thief: Deadly Shadows 2 ( or I suppose it would be easier to just call it 'Thief 4' ).

Is that the case?

Not really, some of the ideas are similar but the style and gameplay are a little different (closer to PoP than Thief).

And I think the comment about PoP and Linkin Park was more about the Prince's hair-style and attitude in game 2 rather than the band that did the soundtrack...I may be wrong.

 

[Chis]

Um, so, from the sound of it . . . Assassin's Creed is basically Thief: Deadly Shadows 2 ( or I suppose it would be easier to just call it 'Thief 4' ).

Tell me it has even a shred of Thief's atmosphere and storytelling excellence, and I MIGHT give Assassin's Creed a go.

... Nah, thought not.

 

[Rorkimaru]

Lol i love this guy so too the point but he made an error at one point in PopWw u dont run around to Linkin Park the songs are done by a band called Godsmack XD

he didnt make an error. he said the prince listened to linken park not that the music was done by them. this is a satirical refferance to the steriotypic fan of LP. he is simply pointing out the prince became all dark and emo like... its a joke about the royal makeover

 

[Scizophrenic Llama]

I agree with this review completely, then again, I haven't disagreed with any thus far.

Loophole to killing Beggars and Lepers = Acre. Water + Tackle = Death without penalty.

 

[Yerocha]

Also, I just realized that at about 2:58, Altair actually says "Shoryuken". It's little shit like that which take these reviews from good to great.

 

[swift tongued]

i actually like wordy games... though i guess throat stabbing should kinda impare talking

 

[NoPantsMan]

Needs to go on the box

 

[Lord T Hawkeye]

All those irritations and yet he likes it anyway because "at least it's trying something new"?

Give me a break, Stretch Panic tried something new. Sure as hell didn't make it a good game.

 

[Frederf]

Great review, amusing as always. I had the same impression of the game: fun, pretty but not the Second Coming. I suppose if you allowed yourself to be whipped into some Jihadic frenzy then yes the game might have encouraged one to go on some angry Crusade of disappointment.

Like the Medal of Airborne Airborne video I had no problem with the political stuff but there was so much more to ridicule about the game. The one-at-a-time sword fighting, the overpowering of counters such that you rarely slash yourself but 99% of the time wait for them to attack first, the fact you have to HOLD the sneak/blend button down (ugh!), the tall building climbing and hay stacks, the flags, the odd lethality of water, death sentences for knocking pots off ladies' heads, and a few more I'm not thinking of.

I pretty much wanted this to be some sort of Hitman: Holy Lands to engage some part of my brain higher than the spinal column but such was not to be. The tips given by your contacts are of such little use as to be silly. Plotting assassinations, sneaking through a the palace for 3-10 minutes in order to track down your prey would've been great. Instead you just kind of run up and stab him. The best part of the game is a tiny, tiny minority of the play.

 

[Twitchyeye]

This was so great, I had to post my comment. This is what I like about ZP, Yahtzee mentioned everything...everything that I couldn't stand about this game. The run down the mountain, the cutscenes you can't skip through, the combat. Even the stuff he liked I liked as well. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop and pouncing on gaurds with my hidden blade was the only fun I had by the end. I rank this all the way up with his Darkness demo review. Great, great stuff.

 

[Willias15]

How can i download these reveiws i watn to put them on my mp3 player and show them to some m8s??

 

[milocade]

darn French. Get it all right.

 

[ShadokatRegn]

Absolutely brilliant, as always, appreciate the honest reviews. I find it amusing that a company would even try to make a game that required a disclaimer - haven't seen one of those since Jet Set Radio Future.

It seems to be a silly trend, but game developers seem to want to add as much wandering around through pointless quests in empty "filler" places (in this case, starting at your home base on top of a fucking mountain at the beginning of every fucking quest) with little action as an attempt to extend the game play hours. Somehow it seems like they think this'll make it worth the additional cash we've been asked to fork over to play their games.

Cheers.

 

[lostix]

But don't you love being told what to do? It's like the enjoyment you get from having a retarded kid telling you how to bake cookies.

 

[PurpleRain]

Wow, I was going to post something... but there is ALOT of people with only 1 post already here licking Yahtzee's feet. Maybe I'll just step back a litlle bit for now.

 

[rapa-nui]

What would my Wednesdays be like without Zero Punctuation? Sad, lonely, depressed and forlorn.

Great stuff.

 

[FormanGreenman]

Frankly I liked the swordfighting in ADDITION to the faffing about. Playing AC is it's clearly meant to be played is more like playing Spider-Man 2 than playing Hitman, really.

I agree with the spiderman feel to the game. I loved the spiderman games, except for 3 which was basically the same bloody thing as the previous with the idiotic simon says button pushing . I'm nailing AC right now, probably thanks to experience with Spiderman. similar deal, save citizen, climb walls, fight random dudes.

As for the repetiveness its not so bad really. Swordfights are pretty cool once you have the counter attacks down and do some cool moves. The beggars and lepers do need a beat down occasionally though.

Its fun in the end, lots of play time if you do every little thing in the cities.

Bring on the assassin stick!

 

[Gab]

Great stuff. I always like reading Yahtzee's stuff because it's always a breath of fresh air in a cesspool of idiocy. Nothing but sheer, unbridled honesty with a good dose of "fuck the public, I'll say what like" mixed in for good measure. Wednesdays have quickly become the highlight of my week thanks to Yahtzee.