Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
I was laughing through this entire review, but when it got to Yakkety Sax, I had tears running down my face. Tears, my friends.
This is a game I considered getting for someone for giftmas, then I decided against it, and now I'm kind of regretting it, but hey that's okay -- it's not out for PC yet anyway! Delays delays...
This is a game I considered getting for someone for giftmas, then I decided against it, and now I'm kind of regretting it, but hey that's okay -- it's not out for PC yet anyway! Delays delays...
Great as always Yahtzee.
Anyway, I reckon that we shouldn't be suggesting games for him to review, so much as guessing whats next in line for a ZP review thrashing. They both equate to roughly the same thing, really.
Judging by his reviews, I say that the next game he reviews will be either Mass Effect (an in-the-spotlight game which he was pressured into reviewing by the viewers) or Ace Combat 6 (a game review totally unexpected by the majority of the ZP viewers).
Personally, I'd want him to review an Armored Core title, but seeing as how there hasn't been a release in the series since the PS3 launch, I doubt it.
*begins to wonder if Yahtzee has linked me to the email I sent him yet*
Anyway, I reckon that we shouldn't be suggesting games for him to review, so much as guessing whats next in line for a ZP review thrashing. They both equate to roughly the same thing, really.
Judging by his reviews, I say that the next game he reviews will be either Mass Effect (an in-the-spotlight game which he was pressured into reviewing by the viewers) or Ace Combat 6 (a game review totally unexpected by the majority of the ZP viewers).
Personally, I'd want him to review an Armored Core title, but seeing as how there hasn't been a release in the series since the PS3 launch, I doubt it.
*begins to wonder if Yahtzee has linked me to the email I sent him yet*
Hm, I found this one a lot less funny than previous ones. I'm gonna go watch it again, because I can't figure out why...
I'm so relieved I mainly play strategy games on PC, with the occasional FPS and RPG thrown in. So far none of the games I've played have copped a pasting, although I bought the Orange Box on Yahtzee's recommendation and have thought about getting Psychonauts.slimer said:
My first thought at seeing "ZP: Assassin's Creed" was 'oh great, Yahtzee's gonna lather into it like every faux reviewer on the net who thinks it's cool to point at that *gasp* the game wasn't as good as the hype (like it ever is)'. But again, Yahtzee proves that he doesn't say what's the rage at the time.
This is the first review in a while to get me laughing for minutes. The other ones I just smiled when he was being funny. It helps that I've actually played this game and every single problem I had with it he did as well. I swear that I even thought at one point (the point I became a mass-murderer of all beggars and drunks) "this lady is scientifically DESIGNED to piss me off!"
Can I have an akubra now?
This is the first review in a while to get me laughing for minutes. The other ones I just smiled when he was being funny. It helps that I've actually played this game and every single problem I had with it he did as well. I swear that I even thought at one point (the point I became a mass-murderer of all beggars and drunks) "this lady is scientifically DESIGNED to piss me off!"
Can I have an akubra now?
I'm rather glad you choose to support AC even with it's, as you called it, crapping on itself. It was mostly a blast, and the sci-fi bit did help rationalize things like why Altair talks in an American accent, or why everyone is using modern English. The Chauser comment ingame was particularly amusing. Kinda surprised you didn't rant about how stupidly planned the informant missions in particular were though.
Stretch Panic bordered on the insane and wasn't even fun. AC is at least fun to go flinging yourself through areas.Lord T Hawkeye said:
The whole part about the grilled cheese sandwich made the review worth it by itself.
This is pretty spot on. There's a lot of exposition and errand-running, and very little stabbity action, which is pretty much the front-end selling point of the game. I'm not saying the story is a bad thing - a good plot is always helpful to the game - but more action wouldn't have hurt things.
This is pretty spot on. There's a lot of exposition and errand-running, and very little stabbity action, which is pretty much the front-end selling point of the game. I'm not saying the story is a bad thing - a good plot is always helpful to the game - but more action wouldn't have hurt things.
nice review and I just LOVE yahtzees response to the email he recieved from the fella that made a parody of ZP when he was in the U.S and A. I was afraid he had gotten a bit soft while being in that godforsaken country but now i'm calm as a bomb again. Thank you.
Great Review I foud Assassins Creed fun yes "fun" but a short storyline. Also i do have a funny story to add about "Trying to blend into the crowd" it started in Acre at the main gates instead of following the monks through the checkpoint I decide to climb up and leap across them over the beems but pushed the wrong button and landed on a pesant causing the guards to chase me halfway through the City. I eventually found a small broken roof to hide but apparently a Templar lived there causing me to kill at leats 15 guards and make off again still being chased. I thought hight would be my advantage so i tried to climb a small church but they threw rocks causing me to fall and run off again. also tried to hide at the assassins hideout but they seem to close to roof when your being chased. Eventually after 9 minutes of being chased i managed to hide in a bundle of hey, lost the heat and contuined with my mission.
10 seconds down the road a random person with personal problems pushes me into a guard.....yay.
10 seconds down the road a random person with personal problems pushes me into a guard.....yay.
Being without Branston Pickle [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Branston_pickle], I had to make do with regular old American pickle relish on my toasted breaded fish fillet and provolone cheese sandwich, doused liberally in mustard and horseradish.