Zero Punctuation: F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate

Heroic One

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Yeah, I had the exact same problem trying to play F.E.A.R.

Does that stand for something, by the way? Or are they just being arbitrary?
 

Lord Scottish

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Heroic One said:
Yeah, I had the exact same problem trying to play F.E.A.R.

Does that stand for something, by the way? Or are they just being arbitrary?
It stands for First Encounter Assault Recon
 

choaskast

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Nov 28, 2007
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meh yahtzee hates everything unless its actually gd i have play portal and Psychonauts and they both are amazing i swear my pc runs better since i installed like portal the turrets say in the kindest voice ever 'who turned out the lights' soo a game would have to be a game that injected morphene into ur arm while a room full of bikini models did what u wanted
 

Qwirk

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Nov 28, 2007
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Why should Yahtzee review Mass Effect, Assassin's Creed, Ace Combat 6 or Call of Duty 4 when he doesn't have to? If the publishers of those titles are willing to step forward and potentially have their balls shot off by providing free games to The Escapist, then he can review them. (Enter the fleet of jabbering idiots screaming sell out...)

What I love about Yahtzee's articles is that the games are totally random. Each week I expect some popular title to be reviewed and each week he surprises me by pulling a random title out of his hat for review.

If you don't like it just squint your eyes and pretend he says the title you want reviewed each time he says the actual title. With the never-ending flood of cloned games I'm sure it won't be too far off.
 

nianoniano

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Oct 31, 2007
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I want him to crush over-hyped games that nobody dares to touch, not those games that everyone already critizise. Im getting very disapointed with the game choices

Im really getting tired of so many 10/10 games and this was the only place that was countering that effect, but looks like he is no longer reviewing them so there goes another wasted week
 

Gragt

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Nov 28, 2007
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Just a few things worth of a clarification:

F.E.A.R. was developed by Monolith and published by Vivendi. But they were purchased by Warner Bros. before release and they dropped Vivendi as publisher for their future titles.

This means that there is now a split in the serie. Vivendi owns the name F.E.A.R. but Monolith still owns the universe. The two expansions (Extraction Point and Perseus Mandate) were not developed by Monolith but by Timegate and are not considered as part of the original storyline.

Monolith is working on a sequel to F.E.A.R. that will be called Project Origin. It had nothing to do with the two inferior expansions to the original game, it was Vivendi's move.

Edit: sorry I missed someone already gave an explaination to that earlier.
 

bazja

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Oct 3, 2007
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Hm, usually he opens up with a brief and sarcastic synopsis of the games plot, but who really cares? No one really gives a crap about this game.

A good review, and witty as usual. As some said it wasn't as funny as usual and a bit flat, but there's not much one can do with such a bland title to review.

Some punctuation failed at being yahtzee-ish, but if he did his own thing it might actually be good.
 

Wrothgarr

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Nov 28, 2007
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Stop pissing about and review Mass Effect/Assassin's Creed/Mario Galaxy/Guitar Hero 3/Call of Duty 4/Bioshock/Uncharted/Ratchet & Clank already.
 

njsykora

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xbeaker said:
Desetes said:
njsykora said:
I was waiting and waiting and seriously hoping for him to mention the Art of Theft. Should've known he wasn't going to let it go unnoticed.
He did mention it....look at the end.
re-read njsykora's post. He knows he mentioned it. That was his whole point. But he uses a kind of double negative.
My mistake, I forgot I was writing on the internet. Grammar mistakes rarely get corrected here and I got lazy.
 

drunken_munki

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Nov 14, 2007
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Good review Mr. Stallion, enjoyed it - and will not be enjoying this game... ever.

To the 'Some Punctuation' retard, and to all those who thought that steaming pile of rat shit was 'good' or 'funny' in any way, shape, or form:

please feck of and die.

I've never seen so much garbage in one sitting before. That was utterly pathetic and retarded. What exactly are you trying to prove? And can I just suggest that I couldn't even understand what that idiot was saying half of the time.

Also Art of theft was actually good.
 

drunken_munki

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Nov 14, 2007
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Qwirk said:
Why should Yahtzee review Mass Effect, Assassin's Creed, Ace Combat 6 or Call of Duty 4 when he doesn't have to? If the publishers of those titles are willing to step forward and potentially have their balls shot off by providing free games to The Escapist, then he can review them. (Enter the fleet of jabbering idiots screaming sell out...)

What I love about Yahtzee's articles is that the games are totally random. Each week I expect some popular title to be reviewed and each week he surprises me by pulling a random title out of his hat for review.

If you don't like it just squint your eyes and pretend he says the title you want reviewed each time he says the actual title. With the never-ending flood of cloned games I'm sure it won't be too far off.
Brilliant post.
 

drunken_munki

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Nov 14, 2007
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ShmenonPie said:
Hypocrasy. I am disappointed, Yahtzee.
You spend all week saying nasty things about other people's games, and then get all defensive and annoyed when someone tries to criticise your own work, and it really isn't good enough.
Awesome review, though, as always.
Erm. Can I just say.. what the hell are you going on about? I doubt Yahtzee is even bothered by some pissant wannabe who can even string a sentence together without crapping their verbal diarrhoea all over my monitor and speakers.

In terms of copying Yahtzee's style, yes I would imagine that is very annoying. But considering it was to such a poor effect I don't think anyone will really give a shit.

And lastly who said Yahtzee got defensive and annoyed? I think his comment at the end of the review shows he has acknowledged said retard, and is calmly asking for said retard's details- so he can do his bit to aid natural selection.
 

jadedcritic

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Nov 21, 2007
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drunken_munki said:
Erm. Can I just say.. what the hell are you going on about? I doubt Yahtzee is even bothered by some pissant wannabe who can even string a sentence together without crapping their verbal diarrhoea all over my monitor and speakers.

In terms of copying Yahtzee's style, yes I would imagine that is very annoying. But considering it was to such a poor effect I don't think anyone will really give a shit.

And lastly who said Yahtzee got defensive and annoyed? I think his comment at the end of the review shows he has acknowledged said retard, and is calmly asking for said retard's details- so he can do his bit to aid natural selection.
If you check the end of the perseus mandate review there's a little flash quote in there which basically says, "can whoever did the ZP style review of AoT please leave your name and address with escapist so I can come burn your house down." (not an exact quote, but close enough.)

Now...granted, there actually is an outside chance that he's serious, BUT I RATHER DOUBT IT. HE'S KIDDING. He's not going to fly halfway across the world to burn somebody's house down because they ripped his game. Geez, can you imagine if people did that to him? He'd have to have rebuilt his house 8 times in the last 3 months.
 

Quistnix

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Nov 22, 2007
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Actually, I count this review among the best, next to the Orange Box preview.

I seem to prefer mildly sarcastic on-screen humor over vocalized angry bashing.
 

SeventhChild

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Loved it. It actually couldn't have come at a better time. I liked the first F.E.A.R because it was somewhat cinematic and had good A.I (even though you'd just hide to build SlowMo, the A.I was still there...)

But I was less than impressed with Extraction Point and was wondering whether I should bother with Perseus Mandate. I'll save the money for Mass Effect.
 

The Rogue Wolf

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Lord Scottish said:
Heroic One said:
Yeah, I had the exact same problem trying to play F.E.A.R.

Does that stand for something, by the way? Or are they just being arbitrary?
It stands for First Encounter Assault Recon
It also stands for "Shoehorning In A Nonsensical Acronym To Make A Cool-Sounding Title".

Anyway. YZ's review, while not telling me anything I hadn't figured out 0.0026 seconds into the FEAR: Pegasus Monocle ( ;) ) demo, is still excellent. Yeah, I can tell he's not up to his usual speed, but give the bloke a break! He's probably still busy brushing duck pate off of his lapel. Or at the very least, working all those American cheeseburgers he inhaled out of his system. ;)
 

Kirosilence

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Stopped playing Fear after the first level of the first game, and apparently I haven't missed much. Loved the review!
 

4C3C|24Ck

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Nov 7, 2007
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I've read some comments complaining about how this review wasn't about Assasin's Creed or Call of Duty 4, etc... Well let me tell you something, Yahtzee can review whatever the hell he wants (i.e. whatever The Escapist tells him to review) and i know he can always take a good laugh out of me with it(which is a rather hard task to accomplish)...so if he has to review Pong or something, then so be it :p



I would join the ZP group but i am too lazy to get a Facebook
 

4C3C|24Ck

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Nov 7, 2007
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what's wrong with you guys, the "Some Punctuation" guy wasn't that bad, of course he got a 0 on originality but it was a brilliant parody/ripoff... i wanna see you try and do better than that. And I bet Yahtzee was just kidding at the end of this review.

"Tell me how much you hate me and prove you've become a fanboy at: [email protected]"

(yes, that's a ripoff as well :p)
 

Zetim

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Oct 6, 2007
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you sounded tired and less angry then usual. also i noticed some glitching in the graphics.

either way, it was still damn good. keep it up yahtzee!