Zero Punctuation: Fable 2

Nov 12, 2008
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Isn't Fable 2 really more like Fable 1.5? All the crap the first one was supposed to do and a dog too. Yahtzee never fails to nearly make me piss myself every week. A seriously funny dude.
 

ZippyDSMlee

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Sep 1, 2007
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"So the whole RPG aspect of this action rpg is a bit of a mess the combat is easily broken and even if you try and challenge yourself, say playing without magic while someone sucks you off..The lack of penantly for death and the shortness of the story quest means you can plow through it to the end credits before you even come."


So...its like Bioshock? *hides*
 

ZippyDSMlee

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Sep 1, 2007
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entropy3ko said:
After the HUGE disappointment that was Fable TLC and after seeing that Fable II looks & plays a lot like Fable TLC I thing I will just stay awayfrom this game until it's for sale for $5 somewhere

By the way... you can't kill kids in Fallout 3 either...
No...but you can dail up the console click on them type in kill hit enter and they die which is good enough...and mods will be coming around to fix that issue so.. meh unlike 90% of games that are broken out of the box and left unfix by the devs because they have cocaine habits to spend on...er..wait not the devs as much..the publishers more so...

Even if FO3 is almost as unfinished at BS was/is at between the devs actually trying to fix things on it and modding for it its going to be a awesome game. BS just gets a preqaule but no more patches no more fixes no more balance work I regret spending a dime on it.... I do so much like FO3 but good god sicrom and some drm codecs the game installed has fcked over my system...
 

Georgie2x4

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Oct 1, 2008
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"Oh look hes a little doggy, mash up his face and call him chips" haha classic. Thought the game wasn't bad, nothing special but completed it in about a day and had a few side quests, it all gets a bit simple once you own all the cities, I found myself getting married to the whores just for a laugh and grinding the arena for exp.

Good game but nothing overly special!
 

Zeldadudes

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Sep 12, 2008
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Yahtzee Yahtzee Yahtzee.

You legend.

I have to say that i've been waiting for a Fable 2 review for 2 odd weeks and you never disappoint me.

Everything you said in that entire review is everything that was going through my head while playing Fable 2.

It's as if i brought Fable 2 but Fable 1 was in the case :S

Other things to add on top of what you said;

The hell load of glitches! I still can't complete 3 quests as my wife has disappeared, probably cheating on me, this other NPC has disappeared and my dog covers something i need to pick up and won't move -.-

The lip syncing in the game is absolutely terrible, even worse than Sonic the fucking Hedgehog!

Online play : The henchman thing is bloody terrible. Why would i want my friend to come to my unique world that is no unique. We go to find some dungeons and they're non-existent or i've already cleared them -.-

Well they were just a few things :) Thanks for finally bursting the whole Fable 2 bubble :)
 

SatansBestBuddy

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Sep 7, 2007
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Hey, listen!

You never actually reviewed The Darkness, you just reviewed it's demo, which is about 12 hours shorter and lacking in anything that made the game good while magnifiying all it's flaws to about 10x how bad they were in the actual game.
 

WickedSkin

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Feb 15, 2008
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Muphin_Mann said:
Ok review.

It used to be funny to watch him hate on games, but after a while the joy ears off. The fanboys on one side of the line defending the games get annoying and the jerkholes on the other side agree with Ben...well....
They were always annoying. It was funny when he shot the game, but the bit where lifeless sociopaths stand around going "Ha ha. Yea, that one sucked. Ha ha. I wonder what its like to actualy play it? Ha ha." over its broken body was old on day 1.

So the review was funny, but by now its old. The only thing i still lol at is the rare occasion when he compliments a game because of how annoyed he sounds at having to give the game its due.


It would be interesting to put the ability to kill children into the game, but then again why not let you rape people rather than seduce them?
I hate to tell you all this...but: Games are not real life. No game has the proccessing power to give you all the choices we have in reality, so some things are gonna get cut. In addition, as graphics get better, the games that allow acts of mindless sadistic violence tend to get targeted by moral extremists. Or even people who just happen to dislike child killing.

Although as i pointed out before a lot of Bens fans come across as parroting sociopaths who are at this point probably saying to themselves "Hey! I dont mind games that let you kill children! Yahtzee supports murdering children then so do I! Haha. Freedom to be a sadistic psychopath and live out my twisted fantasy! Haha."
A ruthless, Chaotic Evil, teabag the corpse Counter-strike style BOOM HEADSHOT total fucking massacre of Peter Molyneux's fragile sense of self-worth. That's it. And I laughed my gods-damned ass off.
See Exhibit A above.
Did something someone say hurt you a little? Something about what you wrote, or how you wrote it, makes you feel a bit... insecure. Don't get me wrong I'm pretty sure I missed something in that.

I must say he pointed out the wrong things. How about the lots of game breaking glitches or annoyances? If people want child murdering this instant they should watch that Postal movie our beloved Uwe made (it's actually good). Child murdering in games can wait I don't have any need for it just this minute.

Murdering children is the biggest taboo ever, and if someone breaks that, I will tell him "good job".
 

entropy3ko

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Jan 17, 2008
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Well I do not really wanto to kill the children in FO3 (I play the good guy) I just tried once to see what would happen, how much Karma I would lose and such. When I shot a kid in Canterbury Commons he ran away crying but did not die. It was quite funny. No Karma was lost.

FO3 was great, not without flaws but I like playing it still.
The end was a bit of a kick in the balls though...

Also I think they could have made a little more environments (Although the sameness of the wasteland does get you in the postapocaliptyc mood), enemies (there are only 4 types of supermutants and they all look the same... too bad) and songs (I love the songs on GNR, I am afan of the genre,I just wish they had a larger selection)

That is the main problem with FO3 I think... it leaves you wanting MORE. I hear Bethesda will publish exdpansion pack online (probably via Steam).

Anyway you are not the only one with bugs on FO3. Sometimes the game freezes on me, and I know a few more people who have the same problem. The problem is indeed in the codecs I think.
It's not too annoying though... there is the occasional bug here and there, but it can be corrected.

Bioshock is quite fun, but I am not a huge fan of linear FPS, although I like HL2.
 

entropy3ko

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Jan 17, 2008
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If fable 2 is anything like fable then it's definitively inferior to Oblivion or Morrowind and Fallout 3.

After I finished Fable I unistalled it and buried the box not to see it again.
 

Skeleon

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Nov 2, 2007
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Hilarious as always. Especially since I loved your Fable review - I watched it shortly after having played the PC version of the game.

Dude, you gotta get your German right, though.
"Other than that..."
I'd translate that to: "davon abgesehen..." or something.
The same thing happened back when you said "und precisely von".
It's funny but kinda sad, too. ;-)
 

Dectilon

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Sep 20, 2007
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Skeleon said:
Hilarious as always. Especially since I loved your Fable review - I watched it shortly after having played the PC version of the game.

Dude, you gotta get your German right, though.
"Other than that..."
I'd translate that to: "davon abgesehen..." or something.
The same thing happened back when you said "und precisely von".
It's funny but kinda sad, too. ;-)
Maybe the previous instance hints that it's done out of style rather than just to interject some german : /
 

Worm4Life

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May 30, 2008
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Why weren't there any jokes in that one?

EDIT: Also no 3d game is ever going to let you kill children, pointing too fallout where the kids and midgets were indistinguishable is moronic.
 

Lordok

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Nov 13, 2008
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WickedSkin said:
Murdering children is the biggest taboo ever, and if someone breaks that, I will tell him "good job".
Fallout 1 anyone? o_O You even got a "perk" that tagged you as a child killer. Made people hate you :eek:
 

PopcornAvenger

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Jul 15, 2008
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Eh, Fable itself sucked, so I was surprised that so many were jumping up and down screaming for this one. Then again, it's a mystery to me why Half Life 2 - one of the most overrated games in history - is tops on the Metacritic list. So Fable 2 is just a clone of the first? That's like heaping piles of dogshit onto an already full manure wagon.

You want to bash something I love (and your unabashed wetness over HL2 is saddening), review Fallout 3. I know you'll hate it!

Or, yeah, Farcry 2. It's in need of a solid drubbing, also.