Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

[Moriarty70]

OKAY, SO. The chocobo in Sazh's afro. Can we all agree to start calling it "frocobo"? Yes?

NO! It's ChocoBOO! And he goes for the eyes, you just can't see it since it's in the other fight going on off screen.

On a side note, don't blame the review at all. I've always agreed that if it takes time to get into, it didn't do it right. On the other hand, I knew what I was getting into with this game and I'm happy just enjoying the story for what it is, 5 minute seizure inducing fight scenes and all.

 

[VGFreak1225]

How am I not surprised?

 

[Plinglebob]

While I agree with his points and enjoyed the review, its a pity that he only played for 5 hours as a lot of the points (apart from the linearity and the time element) get negated as the game goes along. The story get better, the combat gets more involved and the characters end up being some of the best in an FF game (except Hope).

 

[Cherry Cola]

Did he say he loved FF6, yet shown a image of FF 3? or did i miss something? xD

Yes, you missed the notice that everyone who posts "XD" or it's variations are faggots.

Just like you apparently missed the notice that everyone who calls people faggots get punished by the mods.

 

[Viperish fall]

Another good review but dammit I wish I lived near the Mana Bar

 

[Phoenixlight]

This was much better than your previous review, and I was surprised he didn't make a comment about Vanille's austalian accent. Also, when you were talking about Final Fantasy XI you showed images of Final Fantasy III.

 

[Sylocat]

I had no idea that he liked VI. Way to go.

Now, if you want a JRPG without turn-based combat, in which you actually control the character, look no further than Kingdom Hearts, but I have a sneaking suspicion he wouldn't much care for that one, either. Personally, I fucking love it, but oh well.

 

[Gwen Hall]

I actually like final fantasy games...mostly. But I agree with most of his points. And FF6 was my favorite too. Then again, I'm an accountant, and I've always felt they had a nice spreadsheet data entry feel to them mixed with pretty colors.

 

[ssgt splatter]

Wow, the 5 time cards really broke the flow of the review. The funniest bit of the whole video for me was at the very end during the credits when he wrote "I've checked and yep, they already have erotic fanart of FFXIII."

 

[AnonymouZero]

THAT is the meaning of skull fucking. no deepthroat-gagging pussy-fucking. no... zp is HARDCORE.


a bit too hardcore... if i say so meself. But other than that... the luls just kept on coming.


too bad it was only 5 hours that were reviewed... wtf! Yahtzee, do your goddamn job and play some goddamn games!

 

[Blanks]

This isn't a review, more of a first impressions, much like The Witcher First Impressions video

And no, Yahtzee is not a fair critic and he's biased up the ass... i do hope he was being sarcastic >.>

 

[EmmerikXXII]

Never played a FF game in my life, but that was as predictable as they come. Even before seeing the same point re-iterated for the fifth time with different wording.

If Jim Sterling got flak for only playing up until the last boss fight, I wonder how much flak Yahtzee will get

It's Yahtzee, people will tell him he's a unique genius and boycott the game.

This (except that I have played every FF). As much as I like Yahtzee, I'd like to see people start thinking for themselves instead of hanging on his every word.

ITT: Yahtzee fans.

Not ITT: Final Fantasy Fans.

 

[Brad Shepard]

Did he say he loved FF6, yet shown a image of FF 3? or did i miss something? xD

Yes, you missed the notice that everyone who posts "XD" or it's variations are faggots.

well, someones grumpy arnt they?

 

[johnzaku]

That block of probationists is really funny every week ;p

Anyway, hilraious even though I may not agree with all of your points. ^_^

 

[kronoset]

I dunno, I played FF10 and the PS2 Real-time one and my biggest problem was with the fact that a bit over %50 of the story seemed to be the equivalent of anime filler--it didn't help to define that characters, nor did it advance the plot.

 

[StarofAzura]

Wow, he gave it more time than I would have. I mean, seriously, when you hit the thirteenth game in a series, it's time to stop. Especially THIS series.

As an aside, congrats to Yahtzee for opening The Mana Bar!

 

[BrionJames]

Let's face it since the merger between Square and Enix, Final Fantasy games have really started to suck...bad. Last Final Fantasy I enjoyed? FF 9

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

That was less assinine that I was expecting it to be actually...

The game DOES get good at about the 15-20 hour mark and most of the previous suckage with the characters is in the service of "character development" and once they "develop" they become very, very likable. But Mr. Croshaw was right about one thing, this is NOT good storytelling, especially not for a videogame.

Also...

I KNEW IT! Nobody dislikes FF6!

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Soooo, that's a 'no' then Yahtzee? I wasn't expecting him to like it to be honest.

 

[JSW]

This is one of the reasons why I liked Dragon Quest 8 so much. You start the game, fight a short training battle, and then you're instantly told what your quest is going to be for the rest of the game. None of the wandering around waiting for the plot to start that seems to occupy the first halves of pretty much every other RPG; you just turn on the power and it's "Oh hai the king has been transformed into a monster and the princess into a horse, let's try to change them back kthxbai."

Of course, you do find out that things are a bit more complex than that later on, but your initial goal is never really invalidated. There's no point in the game where you have to stop and ask "Okay, why didn't the game just start here and skip all the tedious setup at the beginning," which is pretty refreshing.