Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

[SilentSh0tz]

Wow, Was I the only one to find this episode.....Alot worse than usual?

I mean if you've got a load of work to do with other stuff do that, take a week off from making this show or something.

Well what can I expect from free entertainment.

Yes we understand maybe the 5 more hours of CGI was worth the playing.
But Final Fantasy kind of has lost it's footing off the actual storyline, so they try to fill in the holes that the last one leaves sloppily. Now there really is no storyline to jump off of.

 

[Zeni Geba]

F?? you for this review yahtzee, if you?re a RPG hater then ?STOP PLAYING? BI?.CH. Final Fantasy XIII was a very good game .your review was like leasing to an idiot talk ?trying to imitate Simon Cowell? just some wannabe game critic stick to what you do best review first-person shooting games ?where the plot is always terrorist attached .go kill them ? SHIT.And if you think you are good Enough to critic other people work try making a game as good as Final Fantasy XIII ? the 3d that you call flashy and if you look at from the side its 2d that alone shows what an ignorant small minded and un educated BI?.CH?

 

[-BloodRush-]

F?? you for this review yahtzee, if you?re a RPG hater then ?STOP PLAYING? BI?.CH. Final Fantasy XIII was a very good game .your review was like leasing to an idiot talk ?trying to imitate Simon Cowell? just some wannabe game critic stick to what you do best review first-person shooting games ?where the plot is always terrorist attached .go kill them ? SHIT.And if you think you are good Enough to critic other people work try making a game as good as Final Fantasy XIII ? the 3d that you call flashy and if you look at from the side its 2d that alone shows what an ignorant small minded and un educated BI?.CH?

he does it for comedy, not to satisfy your views in games.

anyway i understand the complaints, but the little bit of time i had in the game i enjoyed. only things i hate are the hope and vanille characters.

 

[Olikunmissile]

Yahtzee hated it? Gee who'd have seen that coming? /Sarcasm

Don't lampshade blatantly obvious sarcasm, please.

OT: Well, Yahtzee really dislikes JRPG's and Final Fantasy I guess.

WELL excuse me for having to be on retard patrol because of the sudden increase of report faries. It's also not my fault some people are a tad too dense to realise I am being sarcastic when I am. Don't have a go at me for it, have a go at them making me do it.

 

[Zeni Geba]

OK in every game there is characters you hate and love is that some bad no on the contrary that shows how good the people that made that game are they made you emotion move

 

[Nanaki316]

Damn impressed he sat down with it for 5 hours!
However much I love the series and am thoroughly enjoying FFXIII this was hilarious, a lot of things in here I'd picked up on too.
Wish I could pay a visit to the Mana Bar!

 

[Boaal]

Interestingly, I read a review of the game from someone , not a game critic, just a regular person, who said EXACTLY the same thing. Linear as fuck, 2D characters, a plot that went nowhere, gameplay that was as sparse as grass in the Sahara Desert, and an overabundance of movies. Might as well have made another film, rather than attempt to make a game out of it.

 

[Andaxay]

Funnily enough, I didn't start liking this game 'til just after the 5-hour mark. I was so disappointed at the beginning, I'm a big Final Fantasy fan and it was so easy and dull for the first 5 1/2 hours (mash A for auto-battle, defeat, encounter, mash A for auto-battle, and so it went on EXACTLY THE SAME WAY FOR FIVE FREAKIN' HOURS). I don't really know what changed after that, but 13 hours in and I'm really enjoying it.

Honestly, though, it shouldn't take more than a few hours to get to the better bits. An hour, maybe, but five/six? I haven't attached to any of the characters so far, usually I'd have a favourite by now, and I ask again: what the HECK is up with Vanille's accent? Fang's is pretty dodgy, too.

I loved the chewing-own-face picture, that made me snort Red Bull out of my nose.

 

[Rythe]

Well, as expected form Mr. Croshaw alright. And yes, Final Fantasy went all downhill when 7 showed up.

That. And you have to give Yahtzee some credit. I'm ten hours in and none of his complaints would be any different with another five hours. I mean, some of the characters have an inkling of depth now, but the Ethnic Spice is still the only enjoyable character, I'm really tired of walking down another obviously contrived and incredibly narrow corridor, the menu system has managed to get more convoluted, the plot is still moving along just as slowly as he so wonderfully illustrated, and the only reason I've gotten as far as I have is via small doses every so often. I'm not sold on this game by any means, but the combat is more engaging the FF12 so that's something.

Still, this is Squenix here. With their history, they have no excuse at this point.

 

[17th colossus]

Preface
Two things: One. Yahtzee is biased. Email him, he'll tell you himself. He doesn't like JRPGs and he doesn't like fighting games. Regardless of quality, he'll always give games from those two genres negative reviews. Two. Yahtzee's funny, I enjoy him and I watch his show every week, but he's about as much a game reviewer as Jon Stewart is a newscaster. Taking his reviews seriously and actually using them to base your future purchases on is like going out and voting republican because you really enjoyed "That's My Bush" back when it was on Comedy Central. Three. I'm not a disgruntled FF fanboy. I'm actually pretty much on the boat with Yahtzee. I've really detested the series after FFVII and I've found each consecutive game less enjoyable than the last.

Now, with that out of the way, I have a few issues with this video:

2 minutes in: There's actually a very good reason why Vanille acts way out of the game's established social context: she's not from the same f***ing world! Had he played the game for more than 5 hours, he'd know that. That's why you don't review games you don't know dick about.

3 minutes in: "How about we just walk up to the enemy and press one button that bonks them on the head."

Later on...

3:40: "You only control the party leader directly and even then I just picked auto-attack every round."

Way to bash a game for doing exactly what you said you wanted it to do 40 f***ing seconds ago! Brilliant!

4:20: "This is not good storytelling! You're supposed to weave exposition into into the narrative not hand the audience a f***ing glossery in the theatre."

Yes, because nothing is better than when characters talk about the plot for the audience's sake in a movie. I'm sure Robert McKee and Joseph Campbell stand behind you 100% there.

Ultimately, what I'm saying is that you have to develop your own opinion of something and not let some hilarious though well-read goofball from Australia validate your opinion for you, especially when his favorite game of the generation is Saints Row 2.

 

[Lord_Seth]

He doesn't like JRPGs and he doesn't like fighting games. Regardless of quality, he'll always give games from those two genres negative reviews.

...except for the fact right in this review he said he liked Final Fantasy VI, in his Super Paper Mario review he said he liked Earthbound and the Paper Mario series, and in his Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story (which was, by his standards, a fairly positive review), he expanded that, saying said "I've never disliked a Mario RPG." So yeah, he may not like the JRPG genre, but he won't always give a JRPG a negative review.

 

[Caurus]

I agreed with every tiny word...which made me happy and slightly worried.
Having my boyfriend constantly insist its "AMAZING" probably helps hate blossom.
It also made me happy because I knew it would make FF-devotees cry or at least moody.

 

[Caurus]

and secondly reading this thread is even funnier because people actually ARE angry about it in a court room/renaissance poet kind of way.
ha ha

 

[Rift Reilous]

To PrinzMegahertz pg. 25: The limit breaks in FFVII and ensuing Final Fantasy games replaced the specialized ability system that existed somewhat in FFIV and in VI. You could argue that the characters became less distinct due to the loss of these constant abilities, but I would argue that the player was forced into developing the characters in a manner that HE or SHE wanted, and character specialization became focused in the storyline rather than in the battle mechanics. I think FFVII is the best because it had the best storyline and the materia system offered great versatility and added interest to gameplay (you didn't just get abilities by leveling; you had to find the materia first, and THEN level). But, I can see why you wouldn't like VII if you really liked the specialized abilities. I cannot, however, see how you wouldn't have liked IX or X more than VI, because the specialization re-emerged in these games (Only Zidane can steal, only Dagger and Eiko can summon; Tidus is fast and Auron is the most powerful). FFXIII also has this specialization, because certain characters perform better in roles than others (Fang is the best Commando, Vanille the best Ravager, etc.).

 

[killerbread]

not bad review would rather you do a real game not some Japanese crap

 

[chrisjames]

Love the game, and love the review. It's every bit exactly right. Yes, it does get better later, but in this case, it takes a special (like special bus) kind of gamer to actually get that far without being ruined by loathing for everything it puts you through. Yes, I'm that kind of special.

Yahtzee, you are a magnificent stud for bearing with it for as long as you did.

 

[Spelonker]

HEY YAHTZEE!? You know what would be great for working off the stress of playing a game you hated this much while trying to open a bar at the same time???

GOD OF WAR III!? Where's my fucking review? Don't tell me you reviewed Darksiders, Dante's Inferno and Bayonetta to NOT review God of War.

 

[Tevana]

Ok all I got to say about your mentioning the story is THANK YOU, im glad im not the only one, cause when I told this to a friend who played it they were like "maybe u just werent paying attention" Im a JRPG fan but as I was playing the game what I was mostly thinking was. 1- Soo when am I gonna know what the the stories about, and 2- Soo I waited 2 years (maybe 1 year) for THIS GAME. And yah they do explain the story by reading it in the datalog, but I dont want to read about it I want them to explain it to me IN THE GAME. So yah good job on this Reivew.

 

[DukeOfNYaNumba1]

60 hours is what it took me to beat it, which I think is a bit too much for Yahtzee to handle in a week without him playing all day, each day. I'm disappointed in Yahtzee though, not because he didn't like it (as that's just to be expected), but I'm disappointed because there was a lot of comedy gold to rip on this game if he'd have stuck it out and played the thing from beginning to end. This video felt like a lazy attack on the game, but I guess Yahtzee needs a break from time to time. Maybe I take it for granted he can play a game in a week and construct a satisfying video in the end to discuss it.

 

[Anorgil]

Weird. I could have sworn that the only two exceptions to Yahtzee's hatred of JRPGs were EarthBound and Paper Mario. Had he simply forgotten about Final Fantasy VI?

On second thought, the sixth out of thirteen of ANYTHING would probably be pretty easy to forget...