Zero Punctuation: Halo Wars

akmarksman

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Funny stuff.
I was wondering when there was going to be a crossover with graham and/or paul from Unskippable.
 

Mrsoupcup

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BUG.exe said:
unskippable guy wasn't TOO bad, it just sounded like he was trying to be like yahtzee. halo wars part was pretty good. i don't blame his for hating strategy games. the only one i ever liked was fire emblem.
Fire emblem was good if only the wii version was beter... The gamboy advanced one is actually really good.
 

toapat

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the things wrong with Halo Wars are:
A: console game
B: Halo has sucked in every way since Halo 1
C: console game
D: not made by Blizzard
E: the game's gameplay is primarily based off of a futuristic version of Age of Mythology's gameplay
F: console game
G: not made by Blizzard
 

SandroTheMaster

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Hide behind Starcraft? Look, Starcraft is good and all, but it is like the Halo of RTS, much of its success is due to its appeal to the general public (like... I don't know... Diablo. And Warcraft. And World of Warcraft.) I didn't play TBfME 1, but the second was quite nice in my opinion. And I'm not a hardcore LotR fan, just liked the books and found the movies great, while still reserving the view that others might actually not like it for the pace, escapism or some other reason(s).

Also, Starcraft is in what I call the Fast n' Furious RTS genre. You don't really need much strategy to win. If you're zerg? Zergling rush. If you're Terran? Marine rush. If you're Protoss? Curl up and die, because you won't have time to build up since the waves of Zergs and Marines will steamroll you before you get to build your second Dragoon... That's the same with the Command and Conquer/Red Alert series. They're entertaining, but aren't that much of strategy games... at least not in Multi-player. I like when a strategy game actually require thinking and patience, instead of hot-key memory and catlike reflexes (those belong to FPS).

Strategy games I like? Supreme Commander and Sins of a Solar Empire are high in my list, and both are known for hours of gameplay in a single multiplayer map. Both require you to think of multiple scenarios ahead of time instead of just: "Need 15 collectors so I can start belching up my tank/zerg/whatever rush." You can, if you want, make a rush. But a smart player actually has the possibility of pushing it back with good defense. Still, I believe I'll find some fun in Demigod, since I appreciated the play-style of the Warcraft 3 mod: DotA. It changes the focus of the strategy, but still has its tactical elements there.

Finally, there are very nice TBS out there. Heroes of Might and Magic, King's Bounty or the Total War series, for instance.
 

mad_mick

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Jul 19, 2008
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i think that more crossovers are needed. i peed my pants when i heard yatzies voice on unskipable, it was bloody fantastic, and the x blades wasnt bad for a first timer. rts's are for people with low self esteam and a god complex!
 

mad_mick

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Jul 19, 2008
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and who ever said console gaming was crap need's to feel the wath of my pimp hand!!
 

Droz 12

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I liked the opening it was very well thought out to the continuation of the last unskipable episode. and to all those "Wow that guy at the beginning really sucked. Why was he trying to be like Yahtzee wha wha wha?" That was the Fucking joke. Very good review i'd say compared to all the assholes selling games at different stores. Example "I loved the Halo games this game fucking pwns the asses off any other games its so sophistecatedly awesome.....all other games should bow down to it."-Stupid Muscular Jock with no Neck.
 

SandroTheMaster

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And you're likely a console fanboy, mad_mick. I do like console games, don't get me wrong, but after your post about "pimp hand" so full of L33T speak it bleeds, it is clear that you don't seem too qualified to call someone a WOW whore (BTW, the least said about how much I dislike WOW, the least death-threats I'll get, so I'm not going there). Anyway, as much as I like consoles, they're freaking expensive in my country. A Wii here is three times the price it is on the US. And games are also 3x more expensive. Sooo... I'm happy with my PC.
 

McClaud

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keen55 said:
There's a reason nobody watches unskippable.. When I put my dolls together and make them do funny voices and post it on youtube - nobody watches. Why? Because it's boring. Lets please keep that loser out of Escapist's guide.
Actually, that is incorrect. A lot of people watch Unskippable. There are plenty of people who find it funny in the MST3K way. What's funny is the people who don't find it entertaining watch it anyway to make assanine criticisms in the comments, which then just encourages more people to watch, which allows Escapist to continue to pay them.

Rogthgar said:
wonder why he chose to review an console RTS.
And that's another fun point - he chose Halo Wars to review to piss on all the rabid people trying to force him to play Starcraft, Warcraft 3 or Red Alert 3. He hates being told what to review, so when people push him to do it, he totally screws with them.
 

LumiHawke

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Catkid906 said:
What was up with the imps at the end?

Anyway, it was awesome and also by the way. I am going to throw an RTS title at you

Starcraft! Play the second one when it comes out! I command thee!
Why? The first one wasn't all that great, if he iddn't like Halo Wars I'd doubt he would even remotely like a StarCraft game. Though I love strategy games, rarely is an RTS game worth the time to play, the only ones I've ever liked was Z by Bitmap brothers, Company of Heroes, Sid Meier's Gettysburg, and most resently Empire Total War.
 

likalaruku

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Try "Dragon Age" when it comes out. If it dosent' get you interested in RTSRPGs then just stick with what you know & like (except for the reviews in which you're forced to play games you don't).
 

holyknight234

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Mar 24, 2009
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Halo Wars sucked, so I agree with him.
For some reason, I wanted him to bash Halo Wars more than he did in the review.

Man if he really did review Stormrise... would be the funniest review ever.
And he should review DOW2 and Starcraft 2( when it comes out). I want to see his opinions. I like DOW2 but I won't care if he bases it, it'd still be fun to watch him bash a game I love (like he did to SMBB)
 

SandroTheMaster

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McClaud said:
Actually, that is incorrect. A lot of people watch Unskippable. There are plenty of people who find it funny in the MST3K way. What's funny is the people who don't find it entertaining watch it anyway to make assanine criticisms in the comments, which then just encourages more people to watch, which allows Escapist to continue to pay them.
I agree. Also, this is the reason why the Dub sketch of Whose Line Is It Anyway was so funny, and why Abridged Series are starting to show up everywhere. If you can deliver, you can make something awful become extremely funny (specially because it was, in fact, awful), then it's entertainment. And what's wrong with that?

Anyway, it was just classic of Yahtzee to bash JRPG clishés when he made his participation. "This girl's voice is too deep" and "This little boy's voice is too feminine" is classic!