Zero Punctuation: Halo Wars

Nostalgia

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Mar 8, 2009
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Wow. Kudos to Graham. That was pretty damn good. I've only watched one other spin-off of Yahtzee that was ever any good. Guess this makes two.
 

Tmcmistress

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Sep 19, 2008
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Gods, I lost it after the 'Pedigree Chum' bit. And yes, RTS games do suck sweaty ass. I've yet to see one that, with the exception of a poorly-implemented escort mission here and there, doesn't devolve into a poorly-balanced war of attrition eventually. I recall back in the days of Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2, victory in 90% of the game came down to exactly how fast you could build helicopter pads.
 

Primedeath

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Jul 11, 2008
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Just for the record, the mission he is talking about is Shield World. The reason that there is a timer in the first place is that there are forerunner devices pulling down the Spirit of Fire. When the timer reaches 0, there is no chance for the Spirit of Fire to escape and inevitably crashes.

I found the review to be funny, but he didn't play the game. He didn't even look at the cinematic which explained everything quite easily. If you are unable to deduce the above from the cinematic you need to jump out of a fast moving vehicle to only be hit another vehicle or possibly a cow.
 

Ange1ofD4rkness

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Jan 14, 2009
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yeah ur right there. Sry my mind is somewhat wrapped around an exam i have tomorrow so I guess I wasn't looking at it completely. But hey i like the concept of the unlimited resources (well sort of) which I believe you wee kind of getting at, yet that game can be real hard...admit it
 

Ange1ofD4rkness

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Jan 14, 2009
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You know Yahtzee I thought you would like to play as a god, I mean that's just me

NOTE: you know this is the 5th time I have watch this and the un skippable today.
AND THAT ENDING STILL MAKES ME LAUGH SO HARD I LOVE IT. A screw you if you think other wise...that is all
 

MikePhilbin

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Mar 15, 2008
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best ZP yet,
and speaking of twitching, inadequate dog-fuckers, here's George Carlin saying it back then [http://mikephilbin.blogspot.com/2009/03/george-carlin-do-you-have-freedom-of.html] and nobody trusted him enough to cause a white riot and reclaim the planet from the corporations.
 

Hagasophia

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Apr 2, 2009
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I wonder how moderators will treat this post:

About the new ZP video I can say only one thing, and I'll use the quote from Yathzee:

Never stick your dick in a pudding, it might still be a perfectly good pudding, but noone will eat it BECAUSE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT.

I do apologise for the usage of the d words, but you allow this on your side anyhow, so I thought it is OK.


Ok. So I sat down with my girlfriend yesterday to watch ZP and the voice did not fit. so we turned the bloody thing off!!! Yes you give no indication as to what you do, and the intro (other guys) part is too long. We switched off around the bit with a brick wall.

It was only this morning that I decided to sit through the rest of that agony to allow for a more honest opinion and I suddenly hear the Yathzee's voice.

You at least should realise that it is perfectly right to turn this thing off the first thing you hear the alien voice.

Don't do that again, because 'when someone serves a dead dog for a dinner you dont stay around for a pudding...' Guess where I heard that!
 

Shadowlolz

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Mar 25, 2009
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Well the video was very funny because that end rant was pulled out of yesterday at my firneds house. XD. I do not watch unskippable and no i wont watch it after this. Nice try, Escapist. I heard very similar problems before about RTS not fitting in with CnC 3
 

Abako

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Jun 30, 2008
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Did anyone else notice that when he said that the 3 marines he had to rescue were absolutely NO ONE, one of them had Yug's face?

For those of you who don't know, Yug is one of Yahtzee's buddies that he does the show Game Damage with.
 

sarahvait

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Nov 6, 2008
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Gonzobot said:
sarahvait said:
Anyone else catch the Brandon Crisp reference? Apparantly Yahtzee fears neither man nor hell.
I was originally going to say it was too soon for the joke, but honestly, the news has made enough of a mockery. Besides, I laughed when he made the reference, and I didn't really feel too bad about it.

But I'm a little amazed that out of twelve pages of comments there is only one poster who even is aware of him. Don't you people read newspapers? Some info about Brandon Crisp for you noobs: http://www.barrieadvance.com/barrieadvance/article/120701
Well, it did go by pretty fast. I just barely caught the words, and I had to go back and pause the vid to read it. Too soon? Maybe. But the comment is actually kind of obscure unless you've read the story. I thought he was just making a general comment about the kind of fan base that likes Halo before I made the connection a second later. I did laugh, but I suppose that secretly I'm a terrible person only pretending to be kind and compassionate.

Was there as much coverage about Crisp in other countries as in the US and Canada? On the other hand, you can't miss much these days with the internet.
 

sarahvait

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Nov 6, 2008
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Hagasophia said:
I wonder how moderators will treat this post:

About the new ZP video I can say only one thing, and I'll use the quote from Yathzee:

Never stick your dick in a pudding, it might still be a perfectly good pudding, but noone will eat it BECAUSE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT.

I do apologise for the usage of the d words, but you allow this on your side anyhow, so I thought it is OK.


Ok. So I sat down with my girlfriend yesterday to watch ZP and the voice did not fit. so we turned the bloody thing off!!! Yes you give no indication as to what you do, and the intro (other guys) part is too long. We switched off around the bit with a brick wall.

It was only this morning that I decided to sit through the rest of that agony to allow for a more honest opinion and I suddenly hear the Yathzee's voice.

You at least should realise that it is perfectly right to turn this thing off the first thing you hear the alien voice.

Don't do that again, because 'when someone serves a dead dog for a dinner you dont stay around for a pudding...' Guess where I heard that!
Isn't the fact that this video was coming to us on April Fool's Day enough of an indication that something of a prank would be played on the viewers?
 

Dommyboy

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Jul 20, 2008
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Everybody forward to 2:03, that's when Yahtzee comes on and it's actually watchable.
 

Piotr621

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Jan 6, 2009
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After Bull F****** Shit I was laughing the entire time.
Also, the transition was hilarious too.
"And the music... F***"
"RARGH I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
"Oooh crap"
 

NekoDaimyo

My spoon, it is too large
Mar 21, 2009
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Dear Graham,

Please rerecord this with a silly british accent. Also, a bit slower.

Thank you.
 

McClaud

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Nov 2, 2007
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sarahvait said:
Hagasophia said:
I wonder how moderators will treat this post:

About the new ZP video I can say only one thing, and I'll use the quote from Yathzee:

Never stick your dick in a pudding, it might still be a perfectly good pudding, but noone will eat it BECAUSE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT.

I do apologise for the usage of the d words, but you allow this on your side anyhow, so I thought it is OK.


Ok. So I sat down with my girlfriend yesterday to watch ZP and the voice did not fit. so we turned the bloody thing off!!! Yes you give no indication as to what you do, and the intro (other guys) part is too long. We switched off around the bit with a brick wall.

It was only this morning that I decided to sit through the rest of that agony to allow for a more honest opinion and I suddenly hear the Yathzee's voice.

You at least should realise that it is perfectly right to turn this thing off the first thing you hear the alien voice.

Don't do that again, because 'when someone serves a dead dog for a dinner you dont stay around for a pudding...' Guess where I heard that!
Isn't the fact that this video was coming to us on April Fool's Day enough of an indication that something of a prank would be played on the viewers?
Apparently, people no longer have a sense of humor, having it removed when they turned 10 because it somehow got infected. Probably by eating too much dirt outside when their mum's were telling them not to. Unfortunately, they also seemed to have created a humorless vaccination which was sold to parents, so now most people from 15 to 32 are complete devoid of any indication of JFC PEOPLE IT WAS AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE FFS.
 

Elexia

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Dec 24, 2008
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i figured it was a april fools joke, and i enjoyed it. I'm sure Yahtzee's shoes are hard ones to fill, and I didn't take the first review like a stab to the heart. It made me laugh. I think the unskippable guys did a good job.

I've never played a RTS on a console before, I remember Warcraft, Starcraft, Command and Conquer and I can't imagine pulling off all the controls and mouse control on a console system. I wonder how they can adapt and make it easier for RTS games on consoles.