Zero Punctuation: Halo Wars

[McClaud]

I wonder how moderators will treat this post:

About the new ZP video I can say only one thing, and I'll use the quote from Yathzee:

Never stick your dick in a pudding, it might still be a perfectly good pudding, but noone will eat it BECAUSE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT.

I do apologise for the usage of the d words, but you allow this on your side anyhow, so I thought it is OK.


Ok. So I sat down with my girlfriend yesterday to watch ZP and the voice did not fit. so we turned the bloody thing off!!! Yes you give no indication as to what you do, and the intro (other guys) part is too long. We switched off around the bit with a brick wall.

It was only this morning that I decided to sit through the rest of that agony to allow for a more honest opinion and I suddenly hear the Yathzee's voice.

You at least should realise that it is perfectly right to turn this thing off the first thing you hear the alien voice.

Don't do that again, because 'when someone serves a dead dog for a dinner you dont stay around for a pudding...' Guess where I heard that!

Isn't the fact that this video was coming to us on April Fool's Day enough of an indication that something of a prank would be played on the viewers?

Apparently, people no longer have a sense of humor, having it removed when they turned 10 because it somehow got infected. Probably by eating too much dirt outside when their mum's were telling them not to. Unfortunately, they also seemed to have created a humorless vaccination which was sold to parents, so now most people from 15 to 32 are complete devoid of any indication of JFC PEOPLE IT WAS AN APRIL FOOL'S JOKE FFS.

 

[Elexia]

i figured it was a april fools joke, and i enjoyed it. I'm sure Yahtzee's shoes are hard ones to fill, and I didn't take the first review like a stab to the heart. It made me laugh. I think the unskippable guys did a good job.

I've never played a RTS on a console before, I remember Warcraft, Starcraft, Command and Conquer and I can't imagine pulling off all the controls and mouse control on a console system. I wonder how they can adapt and make it easier for RTS games on consoles.

 

[Crystalgate]

Great ZP video. I think the Unskipable guest part was well implemented.

 

[ljaysmith]

nice episode, but the unskippable guy cant fill your shoes. Unless you are critically ill or die or something please dont put me through that again. btw i agree RTS sucks.

P.s i dont want you to die, or get critically ill, just stop fucking around with something which i consider flawless. =)

 

[SirDeadly]

6:00 same thing happened to me...

 

[Kastil]

Hah... another good one! I preordered this crap for my kid but hey, he'll play anything that involves strategy and guns.

 

[Pigeon_Grenade]

i Applaud all three of them, Both sets Of movies did Exactly what Expectations i had: be Entertaining

 

[whyarecarrots]

So, how long until we get a Yahtzeeoomsday-Arcade crossover? Melbourne and Brisbane aren't THAT far apart are they?! *looks innocent*

 

[Brett Alex]

Apparently, people no longer have a sense of humor, having it removed when they turned 10 because it somehow got infected.

I love the fact that not only do they think it was not a joke, they also seem to assume it was some wicked ploy by The Escapist or Unskippable to takeover Zero Punctuation, and that Yahtzee can't have been consulted on it, because he would never do that to his fans.

 

[mnmmtz]

I didn't find halo wars such a great game. Yet im sorry either you didn't watch the cut scenes or your entirely fucking retarded. The game completely explained why you only had a limited amount of time to complete the mission and you lost contact with the ship not your troops on the ground u twat. Anyways good review.

 

[O maestre]

i rather enjoyed the new addition it would be fun to have them review together perhaps, but then again something like that would require a lot of planning

 

[Missilemesser]

the timer is a pain in the ass but keep at it thye ending of the campain in wotrh it and the last few cutscenecs are as well

 

[Brownie101]

Loved the;
"Awwww...Crap"
"Ah...Ok...Halo Wars!"
Bit.

 

[MercurySteam]

Hmm I'll admit that level with the timer was a bit challenging, and i had to play it on the easiest difficulty. All you need to do is pull a massive Scorpion tank rush and then use them to guard the Flood spawns from regenerating, then retrieve and pull your units in from across the map.

 

[MercurySteam]

Loved the;
"Awwww...Crap"
"Ah...Ok...Halo Wars!"
Bit.

Funniest, Part, Ever.

 

[Thurokiir]

nonononono theres a reason we don't watch unskippable and that's because the guy makes us feel, awkward. Stalking stiltedly about bugger all and his actual opinions are more mental masterbation than actual point. Yhatzee has a couple things on his side:

1. Genuine displeasure on how games are made nowadays
2. Rage
3. A unique viewpoint that when thought upon makes a lot of marketable sense for games, and hell if you want his idea of *GAMES ARE JUST PUSHED OUT AND THUS MADE BAD* credo, look at the antithesis of it; blizzard. Their mantra of "its done when its done" proves him right.

Sorry, but when you come across homely, self serving and overall no message, my actual attention span wanes to the point of waxing.

Never again.

 

[Undead Dragon King]

I can understand why you don't like like RTS's or RPG's, Yahtzee, but saying that they're only played by losers is what a 7-year-old would say on the school playground. All gamers have different tastes. Don't rip on other people for liking something different than you.

 

[clockworship]

ZP and Unskippable.

Unskippable and ZP.

...

Congratulations, good sirs. You have just made my week.

 

[keen55]

There's a reason nobody watches unskippable.. When I put my dolls together and make them do funny voices and post it on youtube - nobody watches. Why? Because it's boring. Lets please keep that loser out of Escapist's guide.

 

[Aanorith]

I think he did great guest starring ^^
As for X-blades and Halo wars..
Ill never give x-blades a chance. Just, no.
And Halo wars, is a no-no aswell, since I'm a firm believer in rts+pc = right way to do it.

Great episode.