Zero Punctuation: iPhone Games

Canadamus Prime

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Jun 17, 2009
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Why would I need to breathe on Mars? I live on Earth?
Also you can call it innovation if you want to, but it seems to me you were just reviewing a collection of mini-games this week.
 

geizr

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Oct 9, 2008
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lithium.jelly said:
geizr said:
Well, this thread is boringly predictable; gamers avoid or dismiss anything Apple. Of course, that's cause gamers are boringly predictable. The funniest thing I've observed about the Apple hatred is that it's mostly people who have been dealing with computers for 5 years or less. Take anyone who's been in IT for 15 years or more, and their response is usually "went Mac and never looked back at anything else." After a while, you learn a very important lesson about computers(and machines in general): you choose either to have the machine work for you, or you end up working for the machine.
I have to take issue with this. I've been working in IT for around 15/16 years, and about 1999 I went Linux and never looked back. I keep a Windows machine around for gaming and I have to deal with some Windows while at work since it's ubiquitous, but you couldn't pay me enough to deal with anything Apple. I hate their shiny vapid interface and their habit of hiding all the really interesting bits of the system away from the user.
For me, Android is the way to go for mobile devices, Debian for desktop work, and Windows for gaming.

Oh, and the view down into Valles Marineris is breathtaking. :p
I did say "usually", which means not everyone will respond the same. However, most of the stories I have heard follow the trend claimed. Also, the interesting parts are not really hidden. They're right out in the open. Just bring up a terminal window or X11(both of which are built-in), and you are in BSD Unix land, with full access to the more gritty bits(although, you may have to su as an admin, if you are not already logged in as one). However, not many people have the ability to use Unix and its sometimes arcane interface; so most never tap that side of the OS. In fact, judging from many people's comments regarding the OS(not in this forum, but in other places), I'm not even sure many people even know that such a side to the OS even exists or that it is so easy to access.
 

Tietsu

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May 28, 2008
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Really enjoyed this episode laughed out loud for the first time all day. Thank you Yahtzee.

(Hate that fat kid)
 

raistuumum

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Nov 20, 2010
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Jesus, all the whining and shit-flinging in this thread is going to make me take an anxiety pill...

Great review as usual, Yahtzee.
 

Darkmavies124

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Oct 6, 2010
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True Nero:

and is just me or am i the only one who see's the ZP imp every time i look at the picture of the Droid mascot?

No, I thought it the first time I used my droid and now can't get it out of my head.

Apologies if I have not copied the quote right, I am new to this and not sure on how to do all the... I am going to call it 'fancy stuff'.
 

Akalistos

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Apr 23, 2010
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Yahtzee Croshaw said:
iPhone Games

This week, Zero Punctuations reviews some of the popular iPhone games at this time.

Yahtzee said:
but if you don't have a Iphone at this point, please let us know how you found a way to breath on mars.
We breath great. The air isn't fill with pretentiousness because here, A cellphone is a cellphone. Not a game console nor a tv. Or did you forgot your own comment on the PSP? The one where you laugh about the "tiny-winy-eyes-strain-O-vision".
 

Pelemus-McSoy

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Aug 6, 2009
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Here's a fun trinket that's not for the iPhone, but still amusing.

http://www.totaljerkface.com/happy_wheels.php

The Flash App market probably is more varied because of the freedom the creator(s) have. Think about it: They don't have to pander to a certain audience since no one has to pay to play their game, they work with very few people allowing their game to be close to what they want, and sometimes simpler is better because I'd rather have a simple time killer at the airport than lug around a TV and XBox. Plus updates can easily be posted quickly and free of charge; no bullshit downloads or expansion packs needed!
 

newwiseman

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Aug 27, 2010
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Hexenwolf said:
newwiseman said:
Haven't watched yet, but I can say I like the device, or platform rather. I own the 4th gen ipod touch, all the functionality but no at&t bill. For a phone I have an Android so I get the best of both worlds.

Most games are poor flash-esq designs but new looks at the 3d engines being designed show a lot of promise from the platform. The problem is the better(*edit - more ccccinematic) the app the more the processor is hit and the shorter the battery life. Not to mention your controller [fingers] often cover what it is you need to do.

The device isn't bad, it has much promise, but developers are hard pressed to design interface options that engage without getting in the way.

my 2 cents.

*edit
Just watched, and I am surprised Yahtzee didn't touch on how a lot of the top 20 free games require you to hide whatever it is your supposed to be doing behind your fingers. Still, I completely agree, Innovation abounds; I would like to see more games take advantage of the accelerometer and gyro (and I don't mean forcing users to shake the device like and epileptic having a fit) but to actually engage you in what your being asked to do.
Do iphone games work on the ipad? That's basically the only thing I can see the size being better for.
Yes and no,

Some games we're poorly designed so they don't handle the up-scale to the higher res, that was fixed for the most part with the 4.1 OS and now that the iPad is finally on 4.0 (with it's support added into the 4.2 update) all games should be playable. If a game has been compiled on 4.x you should be good to go.

The iTunes store actually has a section dedicated to games and apps that had their interfaces redesigned for the iPad's size. I still wouldn't buy one until the 2nd gen because there is no camera and the only real printing solution is to email to yourself (4.2 was supposed to add printing, but it only added specific apple printers, even the though the SDK shows that it supports it).

iOS and OSX are both based off of Darwin and have all the same UNIX back end, printing would require user access to the iOS's files, even as a utility apple doesn't want to support that, that's why there keeping the Terminal.app out of the iTunes app store; you could always jailbreak.

Sorry for the rant, yes the games should work.
 

Shamanic Rhythm

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Dec 6, 2009
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The amount of virulent hatred in this thread is making me sick. Firstly, for all you who were never taught to read between the lines, he was not suggesting that anyone without an iPhone is somehow backward: he lives in Brisbane, and if it's anything like Sydney or Melbourne you can't walk around without seeing people flashing their iPhones. That's all there is to it: it's a hyperbolic way of saying how popular they are in Australia, it's not a personal attack on you.

Second, I don't have an iPhone because I view phone plans in general with an air of suspicion, but owning an iPhone does not automatically make you a 'hipster ******' as some people in here seem to be insinuating. If you use your phone often enough to warrant paying for an AUD $50 a month plan, the chances are you'll buy one of the better known brands, including the iPhone. And maybe while you're on a bus or waiting in someone's reception area, you'll want to entertain yourself and fancy playing a game. Is that at all unreasonable? Is it not therefore also reasonable for an expert critic of games to apply his analysis to a few popular titles so that you have some idea of what to expect, and possibly get a few laughs in the process?

Bottom line: I have lots of friends, relatives etc with iPhones and none of them are the kind of 'hipster faggots' whose name implies that they would go around sneering at you for not having the latest gadgetry. I suspect that this kind of childish hostility towards the iPhone arises from a deep-rooted insecurity among people for whom gaming and technology forms a huge part of their identity, fearing that the rising popularity of smartphones and 'casual' gaming will erode the barriers traditionally erected between them and the rest of society. This is further evidenced by the way a lot of people keep ragging on Apple for keeping the OS locked down: psychologically this represents an attempt to reinforce the technological gap by asserting that anyone who chooses any product with less flexibility doesn't know what they're really doing. To those people I say stop flicking peas at the shadows and come out into the real world. No one is going to call you names. The actual hipsters might, but no one really likes them, and their skinny jeans will make them all infertile.
 

EndlessSporadic

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May 20, 2009
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Having Angry Birds, Doodle God, AND Ninja Fruit on my phone, I can say that they are good time wasters. Keep in mind that iPhone apps are just that. If you sit at home and play games on your phone all day, you might as well have spent the 200 bucks on a game system.
 

Lunar Templar

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Sep 20, 2009
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breathing on mars is rather easy actually, and even found a spot for the fridge i got from the money i saved by NOT getting one of those grossly over priced 'fad' items

>.> and whats the deal?
wheres that unrestrained Yahtzee i tune in for,
last time i saw him was for Kain an Lynch 2
 

razbitom

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Feb 3, 2010
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i breathe on mars with the wonderful assistance of an HTC HD2. good phone, great palmtop, tons of games (though all i play with any regularity is scrabble).