Zero Punctuation: Mass Effect 2

[wotan343]

Above all, I'm glad you made another jab at Eve.

Man, biggest waste of money ever.

How in the fuck did you manage to waste money on EVE? You can pay for the game with IN-GAME MONEY DAMMIT.

That being said, the moment I saw the resource mining in ME2, I was like, "well this is incredibly dull, but it certainly beats sitting in an asteroid belt shooting rocks then getting blown up by pirates". Would be superb if EVE stole that particular mechanic of choosing which part of a rock to shoot for shiny goodies, because mining in EVE really lets the entire game down. It could use whatever help it could get.

On the other hand, you can't treat EVE as a casual single player game -- it's all about epic, huge-scale pvp, espionage and industrial warfare. Requires real world research on game mechanics (such as what happens when you go into low security space), and joining a like-minded player-run corporation. If you haven't done either of those, it's like expecting to be able to enjoy an NFL sim made by EA or some shit if you've never heard of football, don't know the rules, and don't care about the sport or the players. You won't get it, and you'll regret wasting the time and the money.

Try actually treating EVE as the engaging MMO it is before knocking it down, or concede you did it wrong.

 

[Ch@Z]

lol "dirty harry or captain picard"

 

[Steampunk Viking]

This was a pretty good review. I loved the second game (and I know people complain about plot holes, but most of these complaints aren't researched properly. Wait until Mass Effect 3 when they said they'd explain the bits they've left out, geeze), but Yahtzee got all the bad parts spot on, especially the "Bioware Face", that is so damn true, I've noticed that since the first game.

Yahtzee still said the gameplay wasn't as pristine as it should be and, whilst I loved the gameplay, there's still room for improvement. At least he couldn't deny that it's streets ahead of the first game. I hated pawning all the unwanted crap after every mission. Utterly, utterly boring.

Great review Yahtzee, it's good to see you do what you do best; not necessarily hate a game but pick out all the flaws without holding your punches. I'd wish more reviewers to do this, but then why would people watch Zero Punctuation?

 

[Doug]

lol "dirty harry or captain picard"

Heh. And yet, its a pretty good explaination of paragon/renegade system

 

[wolf_isthebest]

I'm pretty sure it was commander Titty Shepard not commander Gobblecock Shepard. Oh well guess Yahtzee lost his memory from being slaped particularly hard by his dad's cock....

 

[Volafortis]

He didn't really insult it much, other than over-exaggerating a few nit-pickings. Still, I overall think that he enjoyed the game.

 

[SextusMaximus]

Why am I no longer surprised that Yahtzee has latched himself onto machine-farted games.

Oh, and angry that the game has a way to get supplies that doesn't involve a MMO mechanic?

fantastic!

Yahtzee loses his Literary status and has now acquired 10 levels in Corporate Whore.

I'm tired of people like you talking like THAT about Yahtzee, it's because of people like you that he has to say this stuff about video games. Do you not realise that whenever he reviews a game positively, a hundred + people will be unsatisfied and complain, just because he didn't bad mouth it. You realise that just because you don't like a review doesn't mean it's a bad review and certainly doesn't mean Yahtzee has a poorer status as a reviewer because different people have different tastes and frankly, he can't keep up with all of them in every single review.

 

[Doug]

Why am I no longer surprised that Yahtzee has latched himself onto machine-farted games.

Oh, and angry that the game has a way to get supplies that doesn't involve a MMO mechanic?

fantastic!

Yahtzee loses his Literary status and has now acquired 10 levels in Corporate Whore.

I'm tired of people like you talking like THAT about Yahtzee, it's because of people like you that he has to say this stuff about video games. Do you not realise that whenever he reviews a game positively, a hundred + people will be unsatisfied and complain, just because he didn't bad mouth it. You realise that just because you don't like a review doesn't mean it's a bad review and certainly doesn't mean Yahtzee has a poorer status as a reviewer because different people have different tastes and frankly, he can't keep up with all of them in every single review.

Sadly mate, you're banging your head on the brick wall that is the stupidity of the internet.

 

[SextusMaximus]

Why am I no longer surprised that Yahtzee has latched himself onto machine-farted games.

Oh, and angry that the game has a way to get supplies that doesn't involve a MMO mechanic?

fantastic!

Yahtzee loses his Literary status and has now acquired 10 levels in Corporate Whore.

I'm tired of people like you talking like THAT about Yahtzee, it's because of people like you that he has to say this stuff about video games. Do you not realise that whenever he reviews a game positively, a hundred + people will be unsatisfied and complain, just because he didn't bad mouth it. You realise that just because you don't like a review doesn't mean it's a bad review and certainly doesn't mean Yahtzee has a poorer status as a reviewer because different people have different tastes and frankly, he can't keep up with all of them in every single review.

Sadly mate, you're banging your head on the brick wall that is the stupidity of the internet.

You're right, it's just you tend to find stupidity on the Escapist very rarely, maybe I haven't been on enough Yahtzee review comments on the site. I'll stick with the devoted posters.

 

[Zersy]

Yahtzee's personality has changed.

FACT.

 

[Doug]

Why am I no longer surprised that Yahtzee has latched himself onto machine-farted games.

Oh, and angry that the game has a way to get supplies that doesn't involve a MMO mechanic?

fantastic!

Yahtzee loses his Literary status and has now acquired 10 levels in Corporate Whore.

I'm tired of people like you talking like THAT about Yahtzee, it's because of people like you that he has to say this stuff about video games. Do you not realise that whenever he reviews a game positively, a hundred + people will be unsatisfied and complain, just because he didn't bad mouth it. You realise that just because you don't like a review doesn't mean it's a bad review and certainly doesn't mean Yahtzee has a poorer status as a reviewer because different people have different tastes and frankly, he can't keep up with all of them in every single review.

Sadly mate, you're banging your head on the brick wall that is the stupidity of the internet.

You're right, it's just you tend to find stupidity on the Escapist very rarely, maybe I haven't been on enough Yahtzee review comments on the site. I'll stick with the devoted posters.

Well, I avoid the review video threads generally because of this very problem. But Mass Effect 2 was too awesome to avoid it

 

[Tyrannowalefish_Rex]

The vehicle sections of Mass Effect were great because: (1) they didn't last so long anyway (2) they looked amazing and atmospheric.

 

[JamesR]

Sigh.

Play it on Insanity and say it's too easy.

Tired of your redundancy...

 

[Tyrannowalefish_Rex]

Sigh.

Play it on Insanity and say it's too easy.

Tired of your redundancy...

Maybe he wants more variety and strategy instead of just a sick amount of micromanaging to what most high difficulties amount to. Don't know though.

 

[Tony2077]

i want my mako back and i am not lying either

 

[JoeBloggs]

Loved the review. Commenting on Zero Punctuation videos always seemed like an exercise in futility to me (By the time you get on there's already 11 pages of people saying every possible thing you could have said- what's the point of adding your two cents?) but I loved this enough to post. To hell with reason.

He actually liked the game! Hoorah! And it was funny! Scanning's probably the biggest flaw- they just haven't figured out how to do the galaxy exploring thing right yet, have they?

The best, BEST thing to do, in my opinion, would be to add on Ship Combat, and have you skim across the planet in low orbit, automatically finding minerals or places you could drop the party for ground missions. And with the occaisonal crazy planet-cyclone or Spaceship-fight to liven it up.

Space combat would really solve the problem of scale he was talking about instantly.

 

[CopperKat]

I never really get why Yahtzee complains about games being too easy when there are multiple difficulty settings.

He should try not issuing commands to the AI on Insanity and see how far he gets...

Difficulty shouldn't really be about how inhuman the AI is. It's about depth of gameplay. You can make any game hard by giving a bot aim hacks. Or in Demon's Souls, by removing reasonable checkpoints.

 

[Sad Robot]

Space combat would really solve the problem of scale he was talking about instantly.

Yeah, I feel the same about posting here.

I got the impression that he really liked it as well. All his (actual) criticisms (nevermind the throwaway jokes) were spot-on as well, though I'd argue they were nitpicking more than reasons to dislike the game. Which he sort of admitted himself as well.

They "sort of" did the space combat with KOTOR but after a while it really got on my tits. I just wanted to go to the next planet and went "oh lord, this shit again" when I had to go into space combat. If they do it right, it might work, but I fear that whatever minigame they stuck in there that doesn't advance the storyline directly, some, if not most, people will find it a drag after about a half an hour. Personally, I didn't mind it that much since you don't need THAT many minerals for the absolutely necessary ship upgrades. The rest is optional anyway.

 

[Tyrannowalefish_Rex]

I think the ridiculous minigame that space combat was in KOTOR (or the flight combat in Jade Empire) is exactly the reason why they are so hesitant to implement it in Mass Effect.

 

[romxxii]

Good writing? So did you miss the humongous plot holes and failed characterization of the Reapers?

So far the only plot hole I saw was bringing Legion to Tali's loyalty mission after completing Legion's own, which begs the question, "why did you have to fight the geth when at that point, the virus had reformatted all heretic geth into regular geth, which means Legion could've just told them to stand down? Considering all the extra dialogue options you get for bringing Legion to that mission, having him lay waste to so many mobile platforms was confusing at best.

I want to know who Yahtzee sexed! I hope it's Tali.

Er, it's pretty obvious Yahtzee went for Miranda. Exposed bra, dry humping with zipper suits? yep, that's Miranda's scene. I honestly don't get the fascination for Tali. You can't exactly call her deeper than Miranda, considering their backstories. On the one hand you have a woman who rails against her genetically engineered perfection by letting her family choose her own path, on the other you have a immunologically challenged nerdgirl whose claim to fame is that her voice actress isn't phoning in her lines. It's like half the Internet gets a nerdgasm over a girl whose face is essentially covered the entire time. And lemme tell ya folks, no matter how smart, funny and intelligent a girl may be, if you fall in love before seeing at least 70% of her face, you may be in for a rude awakening.