Zero Punctuation: Mirror's Edge
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
oi, i knew that game wasn't going to live up to the expectations it had promised. Good job yahtzee as always. I know you hate being told how to do your job, but review left 4 dead next or, at the very least, soon. I played the demo for it and had a FUCKING good time with it.
yeah don't post till you've seen the video, we don't need to know the inner machenations of your mind.
Especially when it's Yahtzee, who sometimes feels the need to twist things a bit to make them more humorous. Nothing wrong with that, but it means you have to take his reviews with a grain of salt.
Okay, Yahtzee, I've differed with your opinions before. Oblivion. No More Heroes. World of Warcraft. Soul Calibur 4... Hell, I've disagreed with more than half of your reviews, but that hasn't stopped them from being funny because most of the time you have a good point.
But this was just rubbish.
I am not a fanboy of this game, I could prattle on about its shortcomings for as long as you, even if I could rant about how much I loved it for twice as long. But the points you brought up in this were stupid. Ridiculous. Unfounded.
I've played through the game three times to date. I've never had object detection bugs like the ones you described. The storyline was completely explained if you watched the cutscenes (though to be honest I wouldn't blame you for skipping the godawful things, but still, the story's in there). There is one section in the entire game I remember having a problem with in terms of it being too bright, and that was a single, easy jump. The brightness didn't make me screw it up, just made me hesitate a bit. The proper-first-person thing worked just fine provided you aren't devoid of depth perception enough to not be able to guess where your feet are after about five minutes of trial and error. And the forced combat scenes, provided you're cautious, are fine. In fact I had some damn fun moments with some of them. Running down a parking lot screwing up a spec ops' aim with slow pistol shots, running out of ammo just before you get to him, discarding the gun and then fly-kicking him in the face to finish him off is the kind of shit DMC should have let you do outside the bloody cutscenes.
The cutscenes are terrible. The game, like many of EA's recent experimental outings, was about a quarter as long as it should have been. The end was anticlimatic, and a copout. And some of the areas (such as the big construction site where Faith INSISTS on grabbing onto those metal sheet things rather than running up them like she's supposed to) are inexcusably poorly designed.
But nearly this entire review was rubbish, crap you just pulled out of nowhere. The way you crapped on about the storyline making no sense and the mysterious contents of the bag who the police were supposedly chasing her for, makes me wonder if maybe it was the other way around; did you play only the demo and not the full game?
Talk about dignifying all the idiots calling you a troll. Seriously. Don't do that again. I excused you calling grapples in SC4 broken because you're not a fighting game fan so that's a logical conclusion, but this was just crap. =/
But this was just rubbish.
I am not a fanboy of this game, I could prattle on about its shortcomings for as long as you, even if I could rant about how much I loved it for twice as long. But the points you brought up in this were stupid. Ridiculous. Unfounded.
I've played through the game three times to date. I've never had object detection bugs like the ones you described. The storyline was completely explained if you watched the cutscenes (though to be honest I wouldn't blame you for skipping the godawful things, but still, the story's in there). There is one section in the entire game I remember having a problem with in terms of it being too bright, and that was a single, easy jump. The brightness didn't make me screw it up, just made me hesitate a bit. The proper-first-person thing worked just fine provided you aren't devoid of depth perception enough to not be able to guess where your feet are after about five minutes of trial and error. And the forced combat scenes, provided you're cautious, are fine. In fact I had some damn fun moments with some of them. Running down a parking lot screwing up a spec ops' aim with slow pistol shots, running out of ammo just before you get to him, discarding the gun and then fly-kicking him in the face to finish him off is the kind of shit DMC should have let you do outside the bloody cutscenes.
The cutscenes are terrible. The game, like many of EA's recent experimental outings, was about a quarter as long as it should have been. The end was anticlimatic, and a copout. And some of the areas (such as the big construction site where Faith INSISTS on grabbing onto those metal sheet things rather than running up them like she's supposed to) are inexcusably poorly designed.
But nearly this entire review was rubbish, crap you just pulled out of nowhere. The way you crapped on about the storyline making no sense and the mysterious contents of the bag who the police were supposedly chasing her for, makes me wonder if maybe it was the other way around; did you play only the demo and not the full game?
Talk about dignifying all the idiots calling you a troll. Seriously. Don't do that again. I excused you calling grapples in SC4 broken because you're not a fighting game fan so that's a logical conclusion, but this was just crap. =/
Before people do with anymore EA bashing, here's the thing. Electronic Arts is a developer but also a publisher. As has already been mentioned, the guys who made Mirror's Edge was a Swedish company called DICE. How much influence corporate EA might have had on the production of the game is something we simply don't know. However, since we know EA is the evil empire (or the equivalent in gaming terms anyways) what would lead you to believe they would actively try to wrangle a new IP like this themselves?
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As far as the review itself, I still found it funny... but even more abrasive than usual. As if he didn't even bother giving it a chance, as evident by the minute long build up to, "Oh, the game is so short I beat it in a day."
Though, I certainly understand and wouldn't begrudge him a week off to not play videogames.
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As far as the review itself, I still found it funny... but even more abrasive than usual. As if he didn't even bother giving it a chance, as evident by the minute long build up to, "Oh, the game is so short I beat it in a day."
Though, I certainly understand and wouldn't begrudge him a week off to not play videogames.
What he said. Both about the review being funny, and also rubbish.Shinkada said:
Mirror's Edge is not perfect, but many of the complaints brought up by Yahtzee were, frankly, very nitpicky, or simply null and void. We're not told what's in the bag? What the hell? "Crap he pulled from nowhere" indeed.
Dude's on form this week... well played.
It's one of those games where I've been thinking "ooh, that looks really good" but didn't want to play the demo in case I liked it, damn my financial state. Since then, of course, it's been ripped to shreds by anyone that's played it when it comes up in conversation, so now I'm pretty much not arsed about it.
It's one of those games where I've been thinking "ooh, that looks really good" but didn't want to play the demo in case I liked it, damn my financial state. Since then, of course, it's been ripped to shreds by anyone that's played it when it comes up in conversation, so now I'm pretty much not arsed about it.
Please review a game you like for a change.
I wanna know which games are good more than which games are bad.
Your reviews are still very entertaining. But they've lost some credibility.
I wanna know which games are good more than which games are bad.
Your reviews are still very entertaining. But they've lost some credibility.
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!Panayjon said:
Even though I thought the game was bad, I must admit that the by far best thing was to see the credits roll with all the Swedish names, to the main theme sung by a Swedish singer, it made even me feel patriotic (not that the game was good, but it was still bigand hyped up ^^)
Anyway, as much as I love that Yahtzee panned this one I think he went on a bit too hard. What killed the game was not bugs or gameplay or story (all of which worked pretty well, controls were amazingly good), it was bad level design.
Doesn't everyone know that one word posts are banhammer bait?neoman10 said:
In regards to the review, it fails to be funny as despite you saying the problems with the game you failed to back them up with an amusing picture.
P.S Nothing can compare to your Fable review which ironically wasn't even on the escapist and instead is on youtube
Yahtzee's review was pretty damn good, and I still like Mirror's Edge.
But my question is, why did the first five posters on this thread get banned?
But my question is, why did the first five posters on this thread get banned?
Wow Yahtzee didn't like the game? I'm not surprised really but I know I'm getting the game for Xmas($60.00 USD) and will hopefully be able to enjoy it. Sometimes a game that tries something new like this is hard to embrace but then again I'm one of the few whom didn't fall to the "HALO Syndrome" either.
Great Review altogether and I hope sometime down the line I'll get to see a Dragon Quest V review when it comes out. Granted that's a ways off(February here) but I want to know what Yahtzee thinks of it.
Later days
Great Review altogether and I hope sometime down the line I'll get to see a Dragon Quest V review when it comes out. Granted that's a ways off(February here) but I want to know what Yahtzee thinks of it.
Later days
Something thats almost as funny as the new ZP episode is the fact that neoman10 was banned for saying good.
well, that'll learn ya - back to by-the-numbers genre gaming #453527b (subgenre j) issue 7
I did whine and complain a little bit back in May about the 'demo' (the earlier 'concept demo' looked a lot more like fun) on my dirty adult blog of goosebumping flesh, canned laughter and draught evil [http://mikephilbin.blogspot.com/search?q=mirror%27s+edge] - and even took time out of my working day to email D.I.C.E.(whooosh) a whole list of stuff they could think about before turning that demo into a game. They didn't listen. At all. To anything.
I did whine and complain a little bit back in May about the 'demo' (the earlier 'concept demo' looked a lot more like fun) on my dirty adult blog of goosebumping flesh, canned laughter and draught evil [http://mikephilbin.blogspot.com/search?q=mirror%27s+edge] - and even took time out of my working day to email D.I.C.E.(whooosh) a whole list of stuff they could think about before turning that demo into a game. They didn't listen. At all. To anything.