Zero Punctuation: SimCity

[Balkan]

I haven't played a SimCity game in years...

Maybe I should get 4, since that's widely considered as one of the best?

Try Tropico, it has a better athmosphere and you really feel like the leader of this small Cuba as made by Disney.

 

[5mj7R7yf4Dwr3gdZyyu9PeGNwYjlNrjzuh3iTXQG]

This was about the standard level of "it sucks" that I expect from a ZP critique of a sucky game. Also, Yahtzee covered pretty much all the complaints that have been already covered at length by the game's prior publicity. But the bit regarding that SOME OF US ARE INTROVERTS and don't want to be continuously connected is an pertinent issue I'm glad he noted. I, for one, love Left 4 Dead to tears, but will often avoid playing it for standard shooter fair because of the obligation to interact.

I hear there's good griefing sport in exporting criminals to your neighbors, or better yet, hacking other people's towns and having at them with Gojira. [https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20130318/01035222365/simcity-always-online-drm-lets-hackers-play-godzilla-with-anyones-cities.shtml]

The fact that you cannot name your town as you see fit due to public exposure is kinda rage-inducing. Why couldn't they just disclaim online play is not rated? Oh yeah.

Makes me want to hack their name filter and see what gets by.
Bangkok...
Niggardton...
Kokkin Country...
Bogdollocks...
Hightower Fudge Mines...
Deepwater Horizon...[footnote]I could go at this all day.[/footnote]

238U

 

[Pink Gregory]

Heh, that's gotta be my favourite ZP in a while.

I haven't played a SimCity game in years...

Maybe I should get 4, since that's widely considered as one of the best?

Try Tropico, it has a better athmosphere and you really feel like the leader of this small Cuba as made by Disney.

Tropico's pretty unique, I like it a lot, but it's certainly a little lighter on the control than I'd like. Tropico 3 anyway, far as I'm aware it's pretty much a 3D reskin of the original.

 

[Simca]

One of his best videos in a while in my opinion.

No way, the Ni No Kuni review will assuredly be his best in 2013, and I say this obviously without having seen the rest of the year. The review is just that good.

The effort put into the bingo card alone is incredible.

 

[cookyt]

Wow, I expected this to be harsh, but the video was downright merciless! This is the first time I've heard of the poo map, oddly. You think they would advertise that more.

 

[lRookiel]

Props to yahtzee for calling EA and Maxis out on their fucking stupid vision that online play is necessary.

Also, funniest ZP in months

 

[Beryl77]

Oh man, I've totally forgotten that that used to be EA's logo.

Spoiler

Good times.

 

[Yuuki]

I haven't laughed so hard at a ZP in a long time!

"A poo map? FUCKING SOLD!"

I think that was the only funny line in there, as opposed to older ZP reviews that have had me in stitches for the whole 5 minutes.

There was so much potential for some crazy good moments with this review but I don't think even Yahtzee can survive getting whittled-down by the onslaught of shit games he has to play every week.

Maybe I'm wearing rose-colored glasses but the last ZP review I genuinely liked was XCOM: Enemy Unknown and maybe MOH:Warfighter, and basically every single video from there to page 1 has been awesome. The last 20 videos = meh...very, very meh.

 

[-Dragmire-]

I remember liking the super nintendo simcity.... man, I haven't played simcity in so long. I played 2000 for a bit where the main appeal for me was cheating so I could make military installations.

 

[Darth_Payn]

Thank you, Yahtzee, for such a hilarious video and the best part was that pause between "the poo map" blurb and you going "FUCKING SOLD!" If anyone was going to rip on EA for their always-online bullshit, it would be you. I watched this at the Game Developers Conference at San Francisco and I had to stifle my laughter at this! Bravo.

 

[Kuredan]

"Steam Bath" That may just be your word of the year Yahtzee. I know I have taken plenty. Only the cold purity of FTL will wash this bad game away.

 

[IKWerewolf]

Can't wait for him to review Bioshock Infinite. He's going to struggle to find something to be negative about.

You do know that making that statement is like lighting blasting cap under a firecracker, under some rocket fireworks, under TNT, under C4, UNDER A NUCLEAR BOMB!

He can find negatives...

...he also appears to have suffered with this one. EA origin on his computer -4 computer security, Always Online DRM -5 sarcasm, name limitations +5 to Critical Chance (of him throwing the game off the roof... on his PC so he can be sure origin is gone from his life).

I feel sorry for him because it appears and sounds that his humour's taken a beating on this one. I hope he never has his humour sucked out like this again.

 

[major_chaos]

snip

So basically "People who like things I don't like are too stupid to see how wrong they are"?
I will occasion defend EA half because they have published some great games (i.e Dead Space) and half because the hate crowd is so insufferably smug I need to disagree with them on principle.

OT: That was quite possibly the slowest ZP ever, also a bit late on the "SimCity sucks" train.

 

[GodzillaGuy92]

I was surprised - though in retrospect, I don't know why I should have been - by how in line Yahtzee's reaction to having to download Origin was to my own. I only installed it about a month ago because I needed it to run the Mass Effect Trilogy I bought for $20 as part of Amazon's "Farewell to February" sale. Opening Origin always fills me with the same sense of unease as opening a window in summertime, where the necessity of doing it does nothing to alleviate your constant fear of a wasp flying inside your house.

 

[el_kabong]

Hilarious video this week. The background image joke of the kid trying to spoon his own genitals was particularly hilarious (PURGE) as was the poop cam joke.

 

[scorptatious]

Can't wait for him to review Bioshock Infinite. He's going to struggle to find something to be negative about.

This Is Yahtzee remember you could send him gold and he would complain that its heavy

Yup, I say that describes Yahtzee pretty well. Hell, his review of Shadow of the Colossus was positive and he STILL found things to complain and nitpick about.

But would you really have it any other way with him?

OT: Yeah, normally I don't like to jump on the EA hate bandwagon, but I definitely side with the with them here.

 

[Full]

Holy crap, that was one of the best ones in a while! He seems to have taken a different pace with this one.

"THY TOWN HATH TOO MANY GAYS

GONNA BURN THY HONKY ASS"

 

[Saika Renegade]

I snickered immaturely at the regular mention of poo maps, no pun intended.

It says a lot that having seen this programs's operation ('game' and 'play' would be too generous a choice of words, I feel) versus the already mentioned SimCity 4 and indeed, prior SimCities in general, I find myself more amused by the version where I could have what I will retroactively consider Giga Bowser trampling a line of dwellings from one side of the city to the other. Heck, I had more fun with Sim Farm and that was both substantially narrower in scope (and appeal) and yet more of a simulator than this dribble.

Wonder if the EA ship will sink soon, what with stock price drops going.

 

[FallenMessiah88]

Man, this game really is just one giant train wreck. I hope it can be saved somehow though, for the sake of the players.

 

[snekadid]

how is it i always manage to avoid all these gaming pitfalls?

oh, right the origin badge! heh..

'sigh' ship sailed years ago but people were too blind to notice tbh

It's because, like me, you have a special gene that allows pattern recognition and makes you immortal unless someone cuts off your head with a sword. We could of been good friends..... unfortunately we must fight now! ENGARDE!