Zero Punctuation: Super Mario 3D World

[Falseprophet]

...... There, you just spent several seconds reading a sentence with absolutely no substance to it.

I'm on the internet all day for work. I spent 7 hours a day reading sentences with absolutely no substance.

 

[Lyvric]

Hah, I love how he mentioned it's okay for Link to have bottled fairies but not Bowser. You never know...maybe the big shelled fellow was taking care of some evil, adorable fey

 

[blackrave]

I feel that at this point Mario needs gritty reboot
Mario- obese plumber with drinking problems
Luigi- weed smoking brother of Mario with PTSD (after 2 tours in Afghanistan)
Peach- independent prostitute that Mario regularly buys
Bowser- local pimp

Story: Bowser and Peach gets into conflict because Bowser don't like independent girls working on his territory. In process Bowser kidnaps her with intent to sell her. Mario find it out. Luigi pulls some of his old contacts and gets weapons. Armed to the teeth Mario and Luigi goes against Bowser and his goons. Ultra-violent shenanigans ensue.

P.S. Although that kinda reminds me plot of Super

 

[Steve the Pocket]

Oh god. After a whole generation of avoiding anything that even smells like social interaction with strangers over the Internet because Nintendo has exactly as much faith in humanity as they ought to, they've gone all the way over the edge and started forcing said interaction into games even in non-online mode in the stupidest possible way.

No, sorry, I don't care if Yahtzee compared your system favorably to the Xbox One and PS4; that is officially the stupidest "feature" I've heard of in a game all year, and Sony and Microsoft are going to have to try to beat it.

 

[Hutzpah Chicken]

(Also, I would love a Wii U that could play all my "retro" VHS tapes...)

VHS? Dude, Beta tape is where it's at.

I had forgotten about the Wii U until you mentioned it, Yahtzee. Nintendo doesn't care about keeping Mario fresh because they know their audience is either under the age of 10 and has an attention span of 2 seconds or people in their 20's who still play Super Mario 64.

 

[someguy1265]

Alright, I'm gonna call Yahtzee's top 5 now:

-Papers Please
-Bioshock Infinite
-Luigi's Mansion 2
-Saints Row 4
-Aaaaand for the last one I'm going to make a crazy (And probably wrong) guess - just because Yahtzee said at the expo that his personal list is based on games he thinks people should play, I'm going to go ahead and guess Ride to Hell: Retribution

(I'm not going to bother trying to guess the bottom five, because there are SO MANY from this year)

 

[Falseprophet]

"I'll be thinking of five games from this year that I didn't totally despise"

It's ironic because I can't remember there being a year where Yahtzee liked as many games as he seemed to in this one. But I guess the lows were also much lower this time around.

I think it's a combination of three things.

1) Yahtzee's mellowing out with age (was it last Escapist Expo where he said he was trying to be less negative?).

2) Game devs are better at the craft of making games. Aside from rare exceptions like Aliens: Colonial Marines, it's rare to see major game-breaking bugs, terrible graphics, or utterly broken games from the AAA market anymore. Even the most derivative, mediocre AAA game will still be competently made, have decent graphics and sound, workable controls, and passable voice-acting.

3) You especially expect to see this at the end of a console generation, after devs have spent 6 or 7 years mastering the capabilities of the systems and how to maximize their potential. We might see buggier, broken games again as devs start developing for the new-gen consoles, but it probably won't be as pronounced as previous generational shifts: the Xbox One and PS4 are basically just more powerful versions of their predecessors, and both are basically just dedicated gaming PCs. There's no radical shift in hardware capabilities to overcome this time. The only exception might be the WiiU, but since only Nintendo seems to be developing for it, they probably have a better handle on its capabilities than a 3rd-party dev would.

 

[EHKOS]

Well Yahtzee I see your point but I disagree that...WHERE DID THIS GUN COME FROM?!

 

[FPLOON]

(Also, I would love a Wii U that could play all my "retro" VHS tapes...)

VHS? Dude, Beta tape is where it's at.

Well, excuse me for still having a working Beta tape player and yet I have more VHS tapes with no player of which to play them on... (That's where the Wii U comes in...)

 

[Kapol]

The nice thing about the comments is that you can turn them off. In fact, if I remember, the game actively asks you if you want them before it turns them on. And this is the game that made me confident that there's at least one furry working on Mario. The resurgence of the Tanuki outfit, and now cat suits that make them actually act like cats? As Yahtzee said, someone out there is getting off to it.

 

[Lightknight]

Is it weird that the thing I liked most was the Bushido Blade reference? Well, that and Desk Mario.

Haha, is it weird that I came here just to post that I was happy to hear him mention Bushido Blade?

 

[mronoc]

Find me one case in which random user comments enrich an online experience

The "Souls" series, with the caveat that "random" in this case means being randomly selected from a very limited menu of terms and phrases.

 

[GamemasterAnthony]

Speaking of SMB2...those fairies. Didn't MovieBob in one of his little extra blurbs at the end of one of his Escape to the Movies spots look at said fairies and make a comparison to the fairy-like things you save at the end of SMB2? I'm kinda thinking SM3DW may very well be SMB2 ver 2.0 WiiU.

Heh...actually "furry" might be right, Yahtzee. Look at many of the powerups through the years: Raccoon, Tanuki, Frog, Hammer/Boomerang Bros. (basically a turtle), Rabbit, Bee, Emolg...er Flying Squirrel, and now Cat. Ya gotta wonder...

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Is it weird that the thing I liked most was the Bushido Blade reference? Well, that and Desk Mario.

Wii U sympathy in a ZP video? Outstanding! What a way to end 2013 when at the beginning there was nothing but hatred and bile for it.

Yes, and now to check the sky for four men on horses.

Nope, totally smiled when he mentioned Bushido Blade as well.
Also the Yahtzee x Luigi bromance.

 

[Something Amyss]

[Haha, is it weird that I came here just to post that I was happy to hear him mention Bushido Blade?

Totally. Weirdo. >.>

I always thought Bushido Blade had a lot of potential. No store near me stocked the sequel, though, so I don't know if it was better or worse. So it hits this interesting nostalgia button where I love it more for what it could have been (though it wasn't a bad game).

 

[SinisterGehe]

Huh. I don't feel like shooting myself at all.

Me neither but that 5 story drop to concrete seems like a tempting experience now.

But seriously... Does Nintendo have some kind of fetish towards bondage and kidnapping things? If it is not the princess then it is some random... thing...
Also why call it Mario if there is 4 playable characters equal in ability?
Is it just me or has things with Mario in the name lately been less about mario and more about... Some other things...

 

[Sir Shockwave]

Oh god. After a whole generation of avoiding anything that even smells like social interaction with strangers over the Internet because Nintendo has exactly as much faith in humanity as they ought to, they've gone all the way over the edge and started forcing said interaction into games even in non-online mode in the stupidest possible way.

No, sorry, I don't care if Yahtzee compared your system favorably to the Xbox One and PS4; that is officially the stupidest "feature" I've heard of in a game all year, and Sony and Microsoft are going to have to try to beat it.

They already have, it's called "Eye Cancer".

...I'm being told I'm not allowed to refer to Twitch Chat as "Eye Cancer" X3

 

[DanHibiki]

Alternatively, a metallic taste in your mouth can also mean that you are being exposed to a lethal dose of radiation.