Zero Punctuation: The E3 Trailer Park

[kristus]

3 new games I am casually looking forward featured at this E3. None of them are sequels.
1. Mirror's Edge.
2. Dead Space. (Event Horizon the game... )
3. Rage (aside from a lackluster name, I am looking forward to this blend of racing and FPS)

EDIT: Oh, while I really liked Prince of persia; the sands of time. I found Prince of persia; The emo within. Incredibly gay, and if I wanted to play God of War, I would do just that. (I never got to try the two thrones, since I really didn't care anymore after the middle game.)

Also, since Ubi soft farts out PoP games like EA ejaculates sports sims. It really gets old rather fast as a whole.

 

[josh797]

It wont play for me what the hell?!

same here. didnt load

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

Aww...no fat princess comments ;_;

 

[crisissuit3]

i agreed with everything you said. not because im some insane yahtzee fanboy. because its true. the current generation it just horrible with all these unimaginative games and all. and mirror's edge does look very good.

and here is my attempt and making a game.

a high school student, who goes to a clown school must save his fellow classmates from ghosts. by using a slingshot where he pulls out random clown items out of his pocket. as he progresses through the game, he gets better clown stuff. like a rainbow wig that he can deflect projectiles with, and a scuicide clown car that explodes and rains candy down upon the ghosts and burns them.

hey, he's right. it isnt that hard.

 

[HSIAMetalKing]

Tee hee, another Wednesday filled with lulz. Thank you, Yahtzee.

 

[Caboose669]

i agreed with everything you said. not because im some insane yahtzee fanboy.

I've heard denial is the first sign. If you need help about your yahtzee addiction, please call 08000 LV2HLP, calls charged at £20 per minute

 

[geldonyetich]

Wow.

Core gamers such as myself have very much been living this fascade of both loving games while being chagrined at how general casual-friendly marketing and poor game design generally deliver an unsatisfying experience. There is the occasional gem that keeps us hooked on gaming, but it seems as though those gems are getting further and further apart sometimes. Thus, we become jaded to the point where we're not getting our hopes up anymore.

This video makes me go, "wow" (stop confusing it with World of Warcraft) because apparently this kind of angst has reached absolutely cliche' proportions. There it is, up in beautiful Yahtzee-o-mation, my personal crusade - from which I have derived some 250 entries lamenting in my self-serving Blog - revealed not so much a personal crusade as it is business as usual at this point.

So yes, a third time, "Wow." I think I need to have a breakfast and a lie down.

 

[JackH]

Seems most of the XBOX gritty games are overtly simple and filled with macho carpet muncherssssss, and directed by Uwe Boll or something...Yet, I have been a cynic since the game industry moved away from complex well rounded PC titles like Baldur's Gate, Icewind Dale, and Beyond Good Evil to freakin' Gears of War with all with characters with laughable ape jaw- habsburg jaws.

About Mirror, edge, Yahtzee, rembember what you said in E3 about the problem of 1st person platforming? I am still a cynic about it but I guess I can get behind that XP

 

[GirlFlash]

mirrors edge DOES look pretty sweet, it prolly the only big commercial type game I'm looking forward too.

I'll looking forward to final fantasy 13 too but I guess it doesen't actually count as a game, the play is something way after secondary.

 

[Gamer137]

ROFL at the line with you clapping and yelling "oi". That was really unexpected and broke your the usual tone. Best line in this review. Keep up the good work. I agree, this was one very sad E3. I'm only looking forward to Starcraft 2 and Tales of Vesperia(maybe FF13 sence it is now 360). Everyother game everyone is getting hyped about does not matter to me. The GoW online was a joke and I dont expect the 2nd to be any better. To many shotgun hoes.

 

[thetragicclown]

Amen on the Watchmen trailer, which is a million times more interesting than E3.

Not that it's particular hard to be more interesting than E3, but still.

 

[Hamster at Dawn]

Obviously, Yahtzee didn't say anything about GoW2 because he couldn't think of anything bad to say about it.

 

[yourkie1921]

Yay, we're smarter than fanboys. Also, Yahtzee, good job as usual, I think you should of insulted Resident Evil 5 for trying to curve the cries of them being racist and said that any game maker worth his salt wouldn't change there games just for those inane cry babies who try to sue you if the main enemy's great great great grandfather was 1/10^1000% black.

Also, the beggining where the mention of the wii doing what is was supposed to was fricken hilarious when you think about.

ps. I still want to know what Yahtzee thinks about gears of war.

 

[JackH]

I totally agree with what you said about the protagonist characters these days, they are all the same fucking Ryan Seacrest (American Idol) and Josh Dumal lookalikes- example, Haze, Mass Effect, Alpha Protocol (It's not going to be good, Honest!!!!!!!!!) FEAR, Splinter Cell and MANY MANY FUCKING MOREEEEE X(

 

[Anitoon]

YES i love this video YES!!!!!!!!!!!
i am so happy i was waiting for you to say something about mirror's edge and i am glad it peaks ur interest i hope you review it later.
this is by far the funniest and most clear and clever videos you have done.

 

[mitsoxfan]

No one has any faith in Fallout 3, it seems.

Outside of NMA you mean? Because outside of "ABANDON ALL HOPE!" Yahtzee-man, non-NMA Fallout fans are pretty much looking forward to this game.

I think there are a lot of people disappointed that they took the FPS/OTS (over the shoulder) style approach, and implemented a VATs system that really isn't like a turn based combat mechanic.

It's all very different, and IMO, shouldn't be called Fallout 3. It should really either be a remake of Fallout 1, or called something like, a Boy and His Dog, the video game...

 

[Midnight Voyager]

...I will admit excitement for Fallout 3. Extreme, pants-wetting glee.

But I am trying very very hard to kill this speck of utter flying glee. I must be pessimistic, damnit.

(...Also: Rorschach's voice is perfect. DAMNIT there it goes again. Stupid residual optimism)

 

[VMerken]

Allow me to expand on Yahtzee's point.

Yes, cynicism rocks. The last time a trailer really got my attention was last year, when Bioshock PC/X360 was being shown. It really had me fascinated (plus yay System Shock Spiritual Successor) SecuRom and install limits - aka DRM hell - brought me back to the world.

Point being: in the past, you could be cynical about PC games themselves, now you have to include the *expletive deleted*-ing DRM into the equation as well, i.e. the *expletive deleted* the game has nothing to do with, but nonetheless downplays the entire experience. Because of it, I'm not going to buy Fallout 3 PC, for instance.

As far as PC games are concerned, I hope they find an acceptable DRM solution really, really soon. It's going nowhere right now.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Better, but still got that godawful tripe intro.

No, I won't stop going on about it.

 

[yourkie1921]

Fricken agreed evil.