Zero Punctuation: The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

[mysecondlife]

I figured after playing Majora's mask, playing all the other Zelda games would feel draining (there has to be a better term to describe it).

Still, I would like to play this game eventually.

 

[Resetti's_Replicas]

I'm getting "Server Error" whenever I try to watch this one. Anyone know how I can resolve it? (looking through the this thread it looks like it's working for everyone else)

 

[OuroborosChoked]

Yahztee is wrong. Yahztee is almost always wrong. Yahtzhee makes the most petty, inane "criticisms" of video games since his inception as a review, and people take this person serious and give him money for his reviews.

In the case of Skyward Sword, he's correct. I'm playing the game right now and I'm agreeing with every thing he's saying. Do you want to go point-by-point?
- First full-on Zelda game on the Wii? Check
- Over-dependence on motion control? Check
- Every single enemy in the game has a directional blocking ability? Somewhat hypberbolic. The keeses and birds don't. Just about everything else does... even the Deku Baba things.
- Wiimote reaction ability hasn't gone anywhere? Check. Still as sluggish as ever.
- Flying controls are cumbersome and unpleasant? Check.
- Game starts with Link oversleeping? Check. OH NO WAIT. There was that unskippable cutscene first, wasn't there? Joy.
- Lives in the sky? Check.
- People get around on trained birds? Check.
- Zelda is the standard, anime childhood friend/love interest? Quadruple check.
- Traditionally, Zelda has little in the way of character? CHECK.
- Surface covered by clouds yet bright sunny day? Not everywhere, but in enough places to be noticeable.
- Zelda ends up in trouble and Link has to pick up a sword and save her? Check.
- Fi comes with the sword and is irritating? Check.
- Fi states the obvious? OH HOLY HELL YES.
- Everything feels padded and lackluster? To me, YES. Right from the start. YMMV.
- Harp operated by just waving your Wiimote back and forth? Check.
- More to harp playing than that? Yup.
- Sky contains one town and a bunch of other floating rocks? Check.
- Chests that you can't open until you find the magic block elsewhere first? Check. Really just moves the treasure one step away. Honestly, it's a completely pointless gimmick. Why not just put the chests where the blocks are?
- Only three designated qvesting areas that you revisit? Check.
- Demon lad not taking anything over? Check.
- Repeated boss fight played like 3D whack-a-mole? Check.
- Lots of time "proving your worth"? Yep.
- Pirate ship bit is ok? I cannot confirm this yet.
- In his opinion, worst Zelda he's ever played? His opinion. No verification needed.
- Two dungeons ending in a recurring boss fight? I've only seen one of the two so far. I guess one's still in store for me. Yay.
- You don't defeat the boss above using the dungeon's item? Check, so far.
- ...which breaks the Zelda rule? Check.

Well, there we go. So where was he wrong?

I don't agree with Yahtzee every time - his Valkyria Chronicles review made it obvious he didn't finish the game and his Bionic Commando Rearmed review he didn't even get past the first stage because there wasn't a jump button - but with this game, he's spot on.

Yahztee is one of the worst reviewers and critics I have ever come across in the video game industry.

You don't get around much, then.

Possibly even worse than Adam Sessler. And Adam Sessler is a pathetically horrible part of the video game industry and community.

Sessler's Soapbox. Feedback podcast. Your argument is invalid. It could not be any less valid.

They're like Bill o' Reilly, but about video games.

Hyperbole! Is that your own personal Godwin? I don't like O'Reilly either, but Yahtzee and Sessler are not even remotely analogous.

How about you explain how there's a problem with the motion control, eh? Lag problem with the motion control? What on earth?

Ooh! Ooh! Let me!

I swing my Wiimote and I get blocked. Link's arm ricochets. Mine doesn't. Mine keeps going. So I have to move my arm back to the starting position before I can re-position my arm for try #2. In doing so, I end up swinging the sword again from the wrong location.

REPEAT.

The flying controls are painful. In the default hand position, it's very difficult to tilt down enough to dive. Wrists don't bend that way. The same goes for bomb rolling. If I want to roll a bomb, I have to move my hand position, point the Wiimote down, then flick and hope the system actually registers it as a flick, not an "I'm returning to neutral position", as it often does.

Then there's the harp. I swear I must've played the harp performance about THIRTY times. Every time I started, my hand's position was in a different place... and no matter how carefully I moved my Wiimote, Link's hand would always slide half-way back in the other direction. To clarify:

I swing right -> Link strums right
I hold my arm steady and still at the right -> Link starts strumming BACK TO THE LEFT.
My arm hasn't moved. AT ALL.

How am I supposed to control a game accurately when the controls don't respond to my inputs? It's like playing DDR with a steering wheel!

Oh yes, and the recalibration. EVERY TIME I use a B-button item (that blowing vase thing, the slingshot, flying scarab thing, etc.), when I press the B-button, the controls orient by where my Wiimote was pointing when I pressed the button... which often means Link's going to be spinning around in circles until I press Down on the D-Pad.

Let's not forget that 20% or more of the screen is taken up by reminders of what the various buttons do. There's a HUGE Wiimote shaped overlay taking up the right hand side of the screen. Pathetic.

Would ANY of this happen on a traditional controller?

NO. And that's why motion controls SUCK. The End.

 

[Atmos Duality]

Played it. Though it was much better than Twilight* Princess in terms of design, pacing, and characters. (at least this iteration won't spawn hoards of furry-Midna porn. *shudders*) Gameplay is...basically the same, minus Fur-Mode.

However, I did enjoy musing about Skyward Sword's bizarre graphical glitches.
Such as the tiny black boxes and thin black lines that randomly dotted the screen. Dotted the screen CONSTANTLY, I might add.

No, it wasn't the TV. This occurred on both Widescreen, HD, and regular definition (between changing modes, TVs, and even trying it on different Wiis. Another friend had the same problem, using my Wii to boot).

So I could only conclude that this was the game pushing the poor Wii to its absolute processing limit. Then again, this game is running graphics tech from 2001.
(the Wii runs on a similar hardware platform as the Gamecube)
I can deal with "retro/poor" graphics tech as long as the aesthetics and style is fresh (and Skyward Sword looks great otherwise), but this is just becoming ridiculous.

As for Yahtzee's "review", well...what is there to discuss? He didn't really "review" anything about the game; he just bitched about how waggle-controls suck, and that it's Zelda.
So what the fuck else is new? We didn't need a reiteration of THAT again.


[sub](and in 5 years time, "twilight" went from being one of my favorite words, to one of my most hated)[/sub]

 

[Necroid_Neko]

My experience of the game has been great so far ¬_¬
Got it for my birthday, went to play it and it told me I need a motion+ controller to be able to play it. Guess I'll be waiting a couple for days to play it then :/

 

[Gainrrom]

It's worth remembering that all reviews are subjective personal opinions and if you personally enjoyed the game then they really shouldn't get to you....unless of course there's a despicable little niggling doubt in the back of your mind that maybe you're not having as much fun as you've convinced yourself you're having that doesn't go away no matter how many times you try to slap it down with a weak flannel of excuses.

I love when people quote this line like it's some kind of actual defense against criticism of his reviews. Even though it's not.

We're not defending him, he can do it himself if he feels like it. We're just using the quote to underscore how distressed fanboys get when a guy reviews a game. We quote this and laugh at you, that's all.

 

[stinkyrobot]

Yahztee is wrong. Yahztee is almost always wrong. Yahtzhee makes the most petty, inane "criticisms" of video games since his inception as a review, and people take this person serious and give him money for his reviews.

Let's not forget that 20% or more of the screen is taken up by reminders of what the various buttons do. There's a HUGE Wiimote shaped overlay taking up the right hand side of the screen. Pathetic.

Would ANY of this happen on a traditional controller?

NO. And that's why motion controls SUCK. The End.

You can get rid of that in the interface options.

 

[Amplify]

Well, looks like Yahtzee is not to be taken seriously as usual.

I think I'm done with the series. Mostly due to the Escapist's new website layouts but also because watching a guy who's contractually obliged to find fault in games nitpick a different game every week is getting a bit old.

 

[krazykidd]

I liked this game. thought the dungeons were a good challenge (cahllenge has been something i've found lacking in games lately) so ya I don't think it's the worst one ever. Honestly i don't think any of the zelda games are bad.

You know , because a zelda game is the worst of the bunch doesn't automatically make it a bad game . It could just be less good than the others ( which is subjective , i'm not saying it is or isn't) but still be good

OT: yahtzee has balls of steel to critisize a zelda game , and i love him for it.

 

[Howling Din]

Why not think of the Ocarina of Time remakes as heavily emphasized expansions? Ocarina of Time gives you a hookshot. then Twilight Princess gives you another one. Majora's mask had identical mechanics and just focused on giving you lots of fun things to play with. then Wind Waker and Twilight Princess came along and expanded it more, literally. Giving it more color and more space and giving the game world a pleasant sense of bigness and significance.
So let's mark Skyward sword as the first remake due to being the first Zelda game after Ocarina of Time not to expand more than it receded, then curled up, then died, then rotted away. Remembered only by the most zealous and neurotic of fans, and the raw, objective efficiency of written records.

 

[Howling Din]

Why not think of the Ocarina of Time remakes as heavily emphasized expansions? Ocarina of Time gives you a hookshot. then Twilight Princess gives you another one. Majora's mask had identical mechanics and just focused on giving you lots of fun things to play with. then Wind Waker and Twilight Princess came along and expanded it more, literally. Giving it more color and more space and giving the game world a pleasant sense of bigness and significance.
So let's mark Skyward sword as the first remake due to being the first Zelda game after Ocarina of Time not to expand more than it receded, then curled up, then died, then rotted away. Remembered only by the most zealous and neurotic of fans, and the raw, objective efficiency of written records.

 

[Howling Din]

Why not think of the Ocarina of Time remakes as heavily emphasized expansions? Ocarina of Time gives you a hookshot. then Twilight Princess gives you another one. Majora's mask had identical mechanics and just focused on giving you lots of fun things to play with. then Wind Waker and Twilight Princess came along and expanded it more, literally. Giving it more color and more space and giving the game world a pleasant sense of bigness and significance.
So let's mark Skyward sword as the first remake due to being the first Zelda game after Ocarina of Time not to expand more than it receded, then curled up, then died, then rotted away. Remembered only by the most zealous and neurotic of fans, and the raw, objective efficiency of written records.

 

[kinapuffar]

"I'm not a harp player but I'm pretty sure there's more to that." Haha.

And my God, I never thought I'd encounter a video game character that's more of a Captain Obvious than Fuuka from Persona 3.

Woo! MegaTen reference!

I love how people argue. Like opinion was objective fact, and there's anything to be gained from complaining.
"Oh, maybe if I ***** hard enough, Yahtzee will change his mind and like the game!"
Seriously, fucking deal with it.

 

[SoulSalmon]

It's like playing DDR with a steering wheel!

Your username is awesome, and I am stealing this rather accurate analogy.

I can't really comment on the accuracy of the review, I haven't bothered picking up any Wii Zelda games particularly because motion controls do NOT do swordplay very well despite what all the Wii devs seem to think.
But before this review/thread I actually hadn't heard anything bad about Skyward Sword... so that's interesting.

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

Yahtzee once again does a Nintendo review that is repetitive and boring due to me knowing the punchlines of every. Single. Joke. This is why he should just skip Nintendo/motion-control games. It's hard to be amused when we know what he's going to say.

 

[CrystalShadow]

I've been a Zelda fan for years, but I'll be damned to say that this formula is getting waaaaaaay past its prime. I mean, Nintendo still doesn't even want to voice act these things.

Lol. Gotta laugh at comments like this. I mean, of all the things you could point out, the one thing that bugs you is a lack of voice acting? Heh.

In any event, I usually take Yahtzee's comments with a whole bucket of salt, but I have to say, for once I agree with him.

And that's despite being a huge Zelda fan.

What I've personally witnessed is basically from Wind-waker onwards they've become ever better at polishing the little details - Character animations, art design, character interactions (such as it is), and so on...

Yet taken as a whole the games keep seeming more and more like they're being padded for time. The things that used to occupy most of your time in older games have been cut back, and in their place there's more and more stalling. Like... Finding the tears in Twilight Princess. Or now, in Skyward Sword, finding the bits that unlock each dungeon.

I mean, in the older games you might need to figure out some kind of puzzle or a get hold of a specific item to get into a dungeon.

Now? You apparently need to find the 5 keys that unlock the place. They might look different from dungeon to dungeon, but the way you find them is much the same.

It's not just that they are repeating gameplay from older games, they've developed an approach to the game design that is formulaic, and repeats over and over in a rather obvious manner even within an individual game itself.

And it just screams of a dev team going "How can we make this take longer?" without actually making the effort to be creative about it.

 

[CrystalShadow]

Let's not forget that 20% or more of the screen is taken up by reminders of what the various buttons do. There's a HUGE Wiimote shaped overlay taking up the right hand side of the screen. Pathetic.

Would ANY of this happen on a traditional controller?

NO. And that's why motion controls SUCK. The End.

Minor point, but it surprised me when I found it in the options... You can turn off the overlay. One turns off most of it, but leaves a few control reminders onscreen, the other turns off everything except the health and stamina bar.

Just thought you might like to know that, since, you know, you seem to imply that it's annoying having half the screen occupied by a Wiimote shaped graphic.

 

[Doc Theta Sigma]

My only real criticism of Skyward Sword is sluggish and "slow" feeling controls. Like a lot of Zelda veterans I've gotten used to swordfighting with incredible speed. But then again in this game, the enemies can actually defend so slow swinging does help a lot. Since you have to be very precise.

 

[gothic wolf]

Some things in the review I agreed with and some I did not, I wouldn't say its the worst game, but its definitely not the best. The new items were good and added some interesting game play, yes the motion controls screw you over at certain points but at least it's trying something new with the controls and available technology. Yes the only Zelda I have seen in the series with a personality worth mentioning is in OOT (seriously she doesn't have many appearances but she actually makes an impression, especially as Sheik.

One thing I did not like about the review is the comparison to all the other games in the series, i.e. "the world did not seem as large as wind waker" (yes I know that wasn't the exact line)I always go in to a Zelda game expecting at least one new thing and Nintendo always pull through.

Yes I am probably biased as Zelda is one of my favourite series, but I'm pretty sure yahtzee said something a while back about not being a fan of Zelda/Nintendo/motion controls so could be the same scenario.

Bloody hell I don't think I have ever written so much about what is effectively a bit of fun ever.