Zero Punctuation: Thief: The Dark Project

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Slackenerny

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Rybe said:
Hmmm have to respectfully disagree with you buddy. You weren't -allowed- to kill people in the Thief games if you played it on expert most of the time. Garrett was supposed to be kind of a dick, not a cold blooded killer. It makes Garrett a much more sympathetic character than someone who sticks knives in people's brains for a few bucks.
Absolutely, expert was the only way to play this game. No killing and no more than a couple of knockouts. That was serious tension.

Rybe said:
Those games were amazing, even if Thief 3 tried to murder all that I loved...I was still able to forgive it, just because of the hardcore fan service (the non-sexy kind) they stuck at the very end... Sigh. I should play 2 again...
While Thief III was almost as much a travesty as Deus Ex:IW due to the crappy console port and miniscule level sizes (do you remember that rooftop level starting at the bell with the mist? Man that level was HUGE!), you do have it give it kudos for one thing. Shalebridge Cradle. That was one of the best examples of level design I have ever seen. And it had a lot of drag factor from the bad engine so I give it extra points.
 

thetragicclown

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Slackenerny said:
Absolutely, expert was the only way to play this game. No killing and no more than a couple of knockouts. That was serious tension.
Expert also opened up more areas to explore and loot to grab, or it did on the Bonehoard level in Thief 1 at least. On easier difficulties you only had to find a valuable horn, whereas the harder ones also had you searching for alternately one and two gemstones deeper in the crypts. Extra content as a reward for greater challenge isn't a feature I've seen repeated much, if at all, in games since.
 

Midnight Voyager

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Not a word about Shalebridge Cradle? For SHAME.

Even with the old graphics, that level just about made my bladder spontaneously commit suicide. The jerks of the puppets kept aligning with the spazzing of the lights. It was awesome. And horrifying.

...I mean, I actually tossed my mouse off my desk at one point. (Which made me swing at air and spin around in an amusing fashion.) The DETAIL...
 

ThaBenMan

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thetragicclown said:
Also, for the hell of it, bearpits.

http://bearpits.ytmnd.com/
HAHAHA, awesome, thanks for that!

It's a shame that these games aren't as popular as, say, Half-Life. I'll even submit that Garrett is a better character than the beloved Gordon Freeman, since he's, y'know, an actual character, that talks and stuff!

Man, I should play this again soon. Back when I played it I sucked - I could never get through the fourth level where you had to follow the two assassins sent to kill you without being seen.
 

angrymice

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If Thief III was crap, it was only crap in relation to its antecedents. It actually had some quite intriguing ideas, really badly executed (unlike previous Thief games, which had intriguing ideas executed really well). Allowing you to wander around a sprawling city to get to different missions, as well as providing opportunities for side missions (read: innocent victims' houses) to increase your wealth could have been fantastic given the intriguing universe that had been created up to that point. Unfortunately the city was distressingly tiny and the fact that you had to sneak around it was absolutely obnoxious. What the hell kind of thief are you that the police know exactly who you are?

As has been mentioned previously, Shalebridge Cradle was an absolutely fantastic level. One of the scariest levels I've ever played. Oh hell, THE scariest level I've ever played. Despite all of its shortcomings, one should play the game only for that part. Then you can stay for the museum level which is pretty worth it.

Regarding the video, I have one major quibble and that's the tiny little Cate Archer over in the left hand corner at 04:45. Sure, No One Lives Forever was primarily an action game, but I hardly think its stealth elements should be faulted. You were after all a spy (and a thief, BTW). Approaching your goals with stealth made perfect sense to me in the context of the game. Of course, I love that game so much, it's hard for me to hear any criticism of it. It was stylish, funny, inventive and fun in ways that Monolith hasn't come close to since, and, in fact seem to be almost entirely abandoning at this point (I'm looking at you F.E.A.R.).
 

Roto13

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Apr 23, 2008
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Good god, that was easily the worst ZP yet. Usually I don't just sit through the video waiting for it to be over, but this wasn't funny at all.
 

Slackenerny

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Midnight Voyager said:
Not a word about Shalebridge Cradle? For SHAME.
You missed my post on the last page. I mentioned it there as the stunning highlight of an otherwise lacklustre console port.

Hmmmm....just occurred to me that you were probably talking about the ZP review. :)
 

Midnight Voyager

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Slackenerny said:
Hmmmm....just occurred to me that you were probably talking about the ZP review. :)
Heh, that I was.

While I'm at it: The servants. From the second game. OH GOD the servants. With their giddy giggles and relieved, whispered "Thank you,"s as you knocked them out. *SHIVER*
 

ThaBenMan

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And I think another thing worth mentioning about Thief are the beautiful cinematics [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uR8pcqV_HY]. A lost art in the current age of scripted story events, the amazing, painting-like cutscenes [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AAzkPkiImo&feature=related] still hold me in awe. (warning: major spoilers in that second one)
 

Slackenerny

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Midnight Voyager said:
While I'm at it: The servants. From the second game. OH GOD the servants. With their giddy giggles and relieved, whispered "Thank you,"s as you knocked them out. *SHIVER*
Oh yes. And do you remember breaking into the vault under the old Hammerite chapel in Thief II? They had those ghosts which were almost impossible to deal with stalking the place like it was a convention centre. It was so immersive...the most tension I've ever felt in a game. Period.
 

josh797

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BlueInkAlchemist said:
klc0100 said:
And now we watch thief sales rocket on steam.
It's available on Steam? *goes and purchases*
no its not, i just checked.


wow yahtzee, that was the best review ive seen in probably close to 3 months. maybe more. nice job. incidentally i loved theif deadly shadows, so poo on you. but i never did play the prequels, im going to go do that. any idea how? i might just have to bit torrent it if theres no other way.
 

goodman528

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Never play Thief before. I was always really frustrated playing Splinter Cell because I couldn't just go around and shoot everybody.
 

Assassin Xaero

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I bought Thief and Thief II off amazon a year and a half ago... I just wish they didn't lock up after 2 minutes... Really wish I could get it to run now... :/
 

Signa

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Oirish_Martin said:
It seems like I'm the only person who actually liked the zombie levels. Bonehoard was probably the creepiest thing I'd ever experienced in a game at that point. Rope arrowing over a flight of trapped steps stealing jewels, frantically trying to manage your holy water, and freaking the fuck out when the first restless dead appeared. Awesomeness.

The sprawling building levels are also great fun, except for Constantine's house. Finding a key placed on ONE FUCKING TILE of a very large carpet was not fair in the slightest.
The zombie parts were the best for me as well. It wasn't that it was trying to be "blast em up" it was that YOU CANT KILL THESE GUYS HAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!! It forced you to be even better at stealth than ever before. TO THIS DAY I think that Thief 1 zombies were the scariest zombies of any game. Their groans, OH! their groans... *sob*

thetragicclown said:
"Gorn to the bear pits tomorrer. Wanna come with?"
YEEEES!!!!!

I thought that was the COOLEST thing about that game then. I had never heard NPCs have a full conversation like that before. Not only was it long, but it was funny!
 

Ima Lemming

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Assassin Xaero said:
I bought Thief and Thief II off amazon a year and a half ago... I just wish they didn't lock up after 2 minutes... Really wish I could get it to run now... :/
Sounds like you're having an issue with Hyperthreading/Multiprocessing. I had that problem with System Shock 2 and Grim Fandango (I've had Thief 1 and 2 for a while now, installed them, but haven't tried running them yet). This site tells you how to fix that:

http://www16.brinkster.com/salvage/thief/darkengine.htm
 

Kekon3

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Vlane said:
stiver said:
Err I don't think I have ever heard of this game.

Bah who cares about old games?
Yahtzee obviously, many other people, I do and you should.

Agreed, but i think he's just wondering why yahtzee didnt pick one of the new games out there now. but still stiver, you dont know what your saying. you sound like a noob