Zero Punctuation: Valkyria Chronicles

[Osafune2]

"He likes crisps and he grew up in Swindon."

That was the bit that made me laugh the hardest.

 

[Triple AD]

you could tell at the bit where he was talking about them asking if you want to see the cutscene he was getting very angry...

 

[Seamus8]

laughed... so... hard... at japan/germany joke.

 

[Evil Tim]

First off... Why were so many people put on probation for posting the INSTANT the video was up? Yes, it's kind of annoying but putting someone on probation for saying "this looks awesome" seems a bit excessive to me.

Because they haven't watched the video and so their posts might as well say "+1" for all the use they are. They're spam.

 

[Vlane]

First off... Why were so many people put on probation for posting the INSTANT the video was up? Yes, it's kind of annoying but putting someone on probation for saying "this looks awesome" seems a bit excessive to me.

That being said, they were all very thick for posting so quickly.

Now then, I found this review to be quite funny, mostly because like everyone else I love it when Yahtzee completely tears a game a new one, and we all can probably pick a JRPG or RPG, or FPS for that matter, to make fun of, and this one looks quite awful.

Bravo, yahtzee. Hilarious.

They got put on probation because they haven't watched the video. If you haven't watched the video you can't say it's awesome.

 

[PeterDawson]

A bit kinder than I would of thought. I'm a fan of the game so naturally I could spot some flaws in the review (upgrade 1 way only weapons coming to mind as well as some spoiler bits) but least there were no rediculous haircuts (outside the ordinary, anyhow, I believe one guy had a mohawk?) in the game and they actually explained the strange haircolors. I did like his anaylsis of Oscar (I think it was him) the sniper since snipers are bullet-magnets due to the fear of them getting a one-hit kill on you but his accuracy at first is the worst of the bunch. I will definitely agree that the game could use a better save system.

 

[Alien1375]

Kinda sad that Yahtzee and most members on this forum can't see the difference between a JRPG and a turn-based strategy game....

It's got anime girls, therefore it's a JRPG... Right...

 

[TetsuoKaneda]

No, it's a JRPG because it's a tactical RPG done by Japanese developers, with androgynous main characters, and with a name like "Valkyria Chronicles". Civ IV, Master of Orion, and X-COM are turn-based strategies. By this logic, you might as well call Fire Emblem or Kartia a turn-based strategy game, and they very clearly aren't.

 

[Evil Tim]

Kinda sad that Yahtzee and most members on this forum can't see the difference between a JRPG and a turn-based strategy game....

The massive, world-shattering difference being one is about plot-heavy turn-based combat and the other is about slightly more complicated plot-heavy turn-based combat, I suppose.

 

[Grayjack]

I'm sad Yahtzee didn't make a joke about Selvaria's cleavage. Maybe he didn't get that far.

 

[Pumpkin_Eater]

As impressive as you lung capacity is I preferred it when you would splice several breaths worth of rambling together so they sounded like one breath. Hearing you run out of breath is always disillusioning.

 

[srpilha]

someone has a new vortex drawing. and a new bratwurst pic too.

pretty funny review, but the hatred sort of gets in the way. just sort of.

 

[Mongodyr]

Nice. I actually laughed a few times.

 

[mike1921]

Don't know why I watch this anymore...It's just not funny anymore, and he never actually reviews the game. He even failed to mention the beautiful art style.

There's only so much JRPG bashing that I can take before my head asplodes.

He rarely mentions graphics. Remember the crysis review? He wants to work the story and gameplay gnomes. Sure, he gave a mention in his thief review but that wasn't really a criticism. Mentions of graphics shouldn't be an expectation, unless the person reviewing is a graphics whore.

 

[McMarbles]

I don't know what I was expecting to from this review, but whatever it was, I didn't get it. On eof your weaker efforts, Mr. Croshaw.

 

[Mongodyr]

someone has a new vortex drawing. and a new bratwurst pic too.

pretty funny review, but the hatred sort of gets in the way. just sort of.

Don't look at it like a review, just view it as a verbal beatdown.

 

[Evil Tim]

They're completely different genres. Valkyria Chronicles is no more a JRPG than Gears of War.

Yeah, it's just a Japanese game in which you take part in turn-based combat with a squad of oddball characters in silly costumes who talk a lot. Totally different to a JRPG, that. Not, for example, all the trappings of a JRPG stacked on top of a slightly different game.

 

[mike1921]

Mentions of graphics shouldn't be an expectation, unless the person reviewing is a graphics whore.

Appreciating a unique & beautiful art style is not being a "graphics whore".

Yes, but it's not to be expected, it's definitely not a failure for a game reviewer to not mention it.

 

[Kstreitenfeld]

Taking an interest in turn based Strategy eh Yahtzee? Well if you haven't tried it yet I would really recommend Advance Wars for the GBA(they do have DS titles but I found the original to be the best).