Zero Punctuation: Valkyria Chronicles

reaper660

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May 8, 2009
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he should keep out the political stuff, no matter how much of a joke. Even so, i watch every one of his reviews, and I don't think anyone can do what he does better.
 

runningfatman

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Dec 5, 2008
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honestly if he likes rts but wants to try another jrpg that dosnt sound as cheap as that one he should try either of the fire emblem games for consols which are path of radience and sacred stones i think he would like them but still great job on this one keep it up
 

Chadling

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Oct 8, 2008
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...It's a tactical RPG, not a JRPG.

If you're not willing to immerse yourself in a veritable bog of micromanagement, you should play another genre. No, I'm serious. If you want an example of how extreme the micromanagement can get, look at the Ogre Battle series, if you can manage to find one of those games (they're apparently rare). You immersed in a ridiculous amount of micromanagement, from equipping individual characters and constructing squads (and their formation, and what items they should carry, and what tactics they should use in battle, and) and each character's stats and alignment (a VERY significant factor, as it determines what classes they can be--chaotic guys can't be healers, Lawful guys can't be wizards), oh, and did I mention your entire army's Chaos Frame? You know, the statistic that the game NEVER TELLS YOU ABOUT, yet it determines what characters will ask to join your army AND WHICH ENDING YOU GET?

It's a niche genre, but it's one that I adore.

So many things wrong with this review. Don't take Yahtzee's word for this one.
 

Judithia

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Mar 25, 2009
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That was terrible, no offense but did you even play the game for longer then 30minutes before you decided it sucked?

Wepones can only be upgraded in one way, try again there are multiple branching paths for upgrades.

DERP HURP JRPG, its a SRPG christ.

People shoot at me while i move QQ, seriusly? it works great and it means you can set up a bunch of your team mates to cover your other troops so when the enemey has their turn you can take them out while they rush you.

Basicaly every one of your gripes with this game is well... silly.

hip and edgy comments about political themes and hitler are getting old too.

I miss your early reviews Yahtzee
 

DoE_Chi

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Apr 15, 2009
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Do check out X-Com, but THE FIRST ONE! Or the second one, that's close enough. All the other ones are shite and should be avoided like the plague.
 

TrenchCoat

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May 5, 2009
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Good show, I thought it was very funny. Never played the game myself, so I have no opinion on the matter. Can't wait for next weeks video.
 

Max-Vader

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May 9, 2009
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OuroborosChoked said:
Is it even worth mentioning anymore when Yahtzee gets it wrong? I mean, does he even play the games he reviews anymore?
Apperently not. He shouldn't have called it "Zero Punctuation reviews Valkyria Chronicles", he should have called his review "Yahtzee bitches about games he didn't play and hates all JRPGs".

I'm pretty sure you CAN skip cutscenes, but I'm not exactly sure, as I actually gave a damn about the story...
Yes, you can. It's actually funny how he emphasizes story so much in his own games, but thinks that JRPGs "don't connect gameplay with story" and considers the story there tedious.

All of this gives me the impression that Yahtzee didn't even finish the fucking game... again. It was probably too hard for him... like Bionic Commando was. There is no other game reviewer out there gets as much attention and as little gaming talent as Yahtzee and no other reviewer that I've seen bases his entire reviews off of his prejudices. This is just sloppy and unentertaining.
Either he didn't play the game for more then five minutes - then he had his opinion already and didn't even give the game a fair chance, just because it's a JRPG. Or he does know more about it - then he's lying. Either way, this isn't a review whatsoever, this is a "JRPGs are all shit"-rant.

(But his Nazi-jokes were funny, I have to give him that.)
 

jBrereton

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May 13, 2009
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Max-Vader said:
It's actually funny how he emphasizes story so much in his own games, but thinks that JRPGs "don't connect gameplay with story" and considers the story there tedious.
How is that in any way ironic? Seriously, if you have blobs of gameplay and then a big chunk of story you have little to do with, that is Bad Story Telling.



Anyway, if Yahtzee reads this board, I would recommend the Jagged Alliance games if not into faffing about with too much management - the original X-COM is top, but the rest were fairly weak.
 

KillerRamen

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May 13, 2009
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BudZer said:
Avast Yahtzee, you have earned yourself a demerit from BudZer for insulting the best game of 2008.
He wouldn't be very entertaining if he reviewed games as if he actually enjoyed them. That's his whole routine. Play game, point out the bad points and over exaggerate them. Here, it's blatantly obvious he only played a couple of chapters. Beyond that he hates RPGs, he's a FPS gamer. So, obviously he is not going to like it.

[I also enjoy that he sucks at strategy games... How can you only play a couple of chapters and ***** about the difficulty when it's so god damn easy? It doesn't get challenging until the last few chapters... What a wuss.]
 

LumiHawke

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Dec 5, 2008
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Is my favorite PS3 game! lol Odd I never got a yes/no or are you sure when watching cut scenes........ Also there were more than 1 path for upgrading weapons, I wonder if he even finished the game. >.<;
 

Grayjack

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Jan 22, 2009
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LumiHawke said:
Is my favorite PS3 game! lol Odd I never got a yes/no or are you sure when watching cut scenes........ Also there were more than 1 path for upgrading weapons, I wonder if he even finished the game. >.<;
I doubt it. He probably only got to Chapter 4. No Hans or Selvaria reference.
 

Samurai Goomba

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Oct 7, 2008
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Guess it's time for us Turn-Based Strategy fans to leap out of the underbrush and vomit up our favorite titles, eh?

Oddly enough, most of them are for the GBA. I know Yahtzee's not actually going to read this, but I'll put some up in case anyone else cares.

Fire Emblem 7
Final Fantasy Tactics
SRT: Original Generation 2
Advance Wars 2
Valkyrie Profile 2 (kinda)
Front Mission 4

But yeah, enemies should NEVER be able to shoot you when it's not their turn in a TBS. I don't think I've ever encountered that in all my TBS gaming.
 

Judithia

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Mar 25, 2009
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Samurai Goomba said:
Guess it's time for us Turn-Based Strategy fans to leap out of the underbrush and vomit up our favorite titles, eh?

Oddly enough, most of them are for the GBA. I know Yahtzee's not actually going to read this, but I'll put some up in case anyone else cares.

Fire Emblem 7
Final Fantasy Tactics
SRT: Original Generation 2
Advance Wars 2
Valkyrie Profile 2 (kinda)
Front Mission 4

But yeah, enemies should NEVER be able to shoot you when it's not their turn in a TBS. I don't think I've ever encountered that in all my TBS gaming.
Heroes of Might and magic 2 - 3 are top teir also.
 

darkecofreak

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May 13, 2009
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As if you haven't heard this enough, Yahtzee, but good job on this one. I like most JRPGs, so that alone will probably get me put on probation, but you still hit all the points I dislike about them. I'm playing "Tales of Vesperia" right now, and your point on bad guys being able to kill you without effort goes a long way in a game where later bad guys can go Super Mode three and four times in one battle and ALWAYS pull off their super move.
 

sleeperhit79

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Feb 6, 2009
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Oh my god, too funny. Of course his reviews are more about entertainment value than actual information about the game, the game was great and I loved was it perfect no, but very few games are. People really should know better than to take yahtzee's reviews seriously, don't believe me, take a game you love and see if he's reviewed it and if he has then watch him turn that game into something slightly worse than superman 64.