Zero Punctuation: Valkyria Chronicles

[SandroTheMaster]

last!

I don't know if you could classify Parasite Eve as a JRPG..but it's about the only RPG game I've ever played..but I did like it..the whole mitochondrial science thing was cool.

Not a fan of anime and certainly not a fan of JRPGs.

About the Republicans joke. It's no big deal. Politicians ARE soulless baby-eating creatures of the darkness as a general rule. I still don't trust that Obama guy for the sole fact that he still is, in fact, a politician. The Republicans (the American ones, this is important) just have more of a fame there lately for their pseudo-nazi way of view (just change Aryan race for American race and you'll see) and mostly because of Bush's 8 years of telling the whole world to go fuck themselves (the world end up resenting stuff like this).

The world had it coming did they not? 8 years and no terrorist attacks.A scare of avian flu..granted flu kills 34,000 worldwide annually,but the media seems to forget facts like that.
Bear in mind,the previous administration (Clinton) allowed OBL to get away so 4+years of rage against the "infidels" builds up and guess what happens?

How many world wars has the USA had to get in and win while Europe couldn't?
How many other groups have broken away from mainland Europe and started their own country?

Democrats are no better..the economic collapse sailed just fine through 2 terms of a democratically controlled congress..but it's Bush's fault. Hurricane Katrina? Can't point the finger at the people that had PLENTY of warning and waited for the government to rescue them..so blame Bush.Don't hold FEMA accountable..just blame Bush.

Kayne says Bush doesn't like black people..who knows?..maybe he doesn't,but that is his choice.
Can you blame him? Slavery did not start in the United States,it was brought here.
If all the african-americans are so much for wanting their "motherland" by all means..we can send them back. Will they live with ethnic cleansing? Malaria? AIDS?

What color skin is BHO's mom?

There is a good chance I might get banned for voicing my opinions and posting this may make me seem racist..but as minorities go..my ethnic group is pretty low population wise.(I'm native American) I say the Native Americans did not have strong enough borders and laws..which coincidentally the USA has a problem with now.

I don't have a problem with most races,unless their stereotypes reinforce their perceived stereotypical behavior.

Yes your a PROUD (insert race/gender/sexual preference here) but are you anything else?

I don't consider myself a PROUD native american or any of my other ethnic background,I don't have to make it known to everyone around me just who I am and where I'm from and who my relatives are.

Damn it, didn't I just say it's no big deal. I just pointed the American Republicans get shit somewhat deservedly for what they did recently. Anyways, I'm not American, I'm Brazilian, I never considered moving to the US, I don't see much difference from Democrats and Republicans (mostly because there isn't that much, actually) and I know very well the problems of my country (and, BTW, Lula is the best president we had. The only reason people call him stupid is because brazilians are prejudiced bigots who can't understand the concept of sociolinguistics). Also, I couldn't care less about race. People are people, and most are assholes. You can be black, white, native NORTH-american, chinese, or even blue, you're still just a person and what society thinks about your ethnical group is meaningless to the individual level.

And... I'm surprised how you could say so much corroborating what I said to be "pseudo-nazism" and still think you're giving a harmless opinion. That thought that what's american is "just better" is what I'm talking about. The thought that everywhere else in the world is wrong and that the american government is perfect. The strong prejudice against everything that's not american in special (really, Americans are prejudiced against: Canadians, Mexicans, Latin-Americans in general, British, French, Germans, Japanese, Chinese, Africans in general, Russians, Eastern Europeans in general, Australians, Hindus...).

Mentioning the World Wars in special was intriguing. The US didn't join any of the WW out of charity with allies. Actually, the US was still at odds with the old world. In both wars the US wasn't in any immediate danger, even at Pearl Harbor (which was a japanese counter attack, btw). The US only joined the wars out of economic interests, and they didn't need to deal with several limitations during both (like, surgical strikes against the infrastructure). What I'm saying is, the US joined the wars under perfect conditions where the government didn't have to worry about the worst consequences of war while getting a slice of the plundering and glory as well as indebting all parties involved to them. And the concept of ethnical cleansing was something that Hitler learned in the US, btw.

 

[Cynopt]

Jesus, there's the entire JRPG genre to plunder, and Yahtzee picks up the first mediocre piece of shit he finds on his In pile. Loved the review of this specific game, but you've got to go to Ogre or the Final Fantasy tactics games to get an idea of what a decent Jurpugurtus looks like.

 

[Silva]

Yahtzee is brilliant, though I admit the description of that second character has me interested in the game...

Yes, I went there.

Also that Republican joke was just awesome.

 

[Xelanath]

Pop history... *shoots self*

 

[Same River New Water]

I really am getting tired of all the people, though, who come on to complain about what Yahtzee says but still watch his stuff on a weekly basis. It's hilarious, sure, but exhausting. I mean, why? If you think he's so horribly biased or that he isn't doing a good job then go somewhere else. It's not as if any of them are giving constructive criticism.

All it boils down to is:

"Lulz, Yahtzee is just a troll"

Wow, five posts in a row. Nice one.

As it happens, I haven't watched a ZP review in months. Just decided to check in and see what he's up to. Anyway, more to the point: that comment was tongue-in-cheek. I don't actually have a problem with Zero Punctuation... as long as it's considered primarily an entertainment video instead of a review. Yahtzee does a great job of being a professional troll, he's very funny and so on, but if the intention was to get across an accurate sense of the game, he's not so useful. Oh sure, you can "interpret" his opinion and translate what the game is really like, but compared to other reviewers he is a troll. Like I said, there's no problem with that for entertainment.

Jesus, there's the entire JRPG genre to plunder, and Yahtzee picks up the first mediocre piece of shit he finds on his In pile.

Isn't Valkyria Chronicles like the best-reviewed JRPG of the past year? Although it's hardly a JRPG at all, really - it's just a Japanese game with a storyline and levelling up.

 

[Tom Phoenix]

As soon as I saw the title, I knew how this review would turn out and this is in spite of the fact I never played Valkyria Chronicles (too few Japanese games for the PC ).

I do not know, I just think that Yahtzee`s prejudices prevent him from enjoying a lot of the Japanese games. I seriously doubt that there is not even a single good JRPG, yet those are the implications Yahtzee makes in his reviews. But that is not suprising, since any review is subjective.

Having said that, I wonder if he is going to try Last Remnant, the first JRPG to grace the PC platform in...well, years (as far as I know, the last one was FF8). While the storyline seems stereotypical, I hear that it has a unique combat system and that is what Yahtzee seems to hate with most JRPG`s. Anyway, will have to try it for myself as soon as possible.

 

[NewGeekPhilosopher]

He hasn't reviewed a J-RPG since The World Ends With You. This, my friends, is a significant turning point, since he failed to mention that it was a PS3 exclusive and didn't make a single crack at the console wars in the video.

Instead he's gone back to the classic "Give them something, but make fun of EVERYTHING" school of reviewing he used to do. But DUDE, the "secret Nazi sympathizer" joke... that was funny but creepy at the same time...

 

[civver]

Really hilarious vid. I love how the chest-high wall is a Gears of War 2 case stuck in the ground.

EDIT: And I see that Yahtzee glossed over and then basically ignored other parts of the game. It's always nice to see the other side's point of view.

 

[Mr. Blond]

until yahtzee admits these are really just very clever and funny rants i'll keep pointing out that, THAT WAS NOT A REVIEW!!!!...could anyone tell if he even liked the game?...did he finish it or did he just play enough so he had 5 minutes worth of jokes...i would understand...i will keep watching every week religiously regardless..."m@therfu@kery",can't wait to use that one...but i digress, yahtzee if you read these, despite your contempt for fans, please figure a way to express how much you liked a game...4 out of 5 headless pets...shit, maybe i'm asking for too much...nevermind

Ratings are shit. You're supposed to form your own opinion from a review. Also the impression I got was he thought the game was on the upper end of bad, lower end of OK.

You don't need to finish a game to make a judgement on it, that's ridiculous.

first, if i wanted to form my own opinion i'd play the damn thing...and if you're going to review a game you should finish it or say it's too bad to finish...which yahtzee has done but probably not as much as he doesn't finish games

 

[Barry93]

pretty good except for that republican joke because it's not true, if he meant Dick Cheney and compasion then i might let that slide and why not say that instead of pointing of a huge group of people. Even a Democrats and Republicans comparison would be better. Oh well, still one of my favorite ZP's.

You can't come to the defense of Republicans everytime someone takes a crack at them. I mean, I don't care if people insult Democrats. Whatever, it's just a joke. Was it funny, well in this case I thought his Republican joke was, so why care?

If were even slightly true, I wouldn't care. Conversely, you respond to all my posts defending the GOP, so why care?

 

[Spirit_Of_Fire]

Great review, Yahtzee. I love what you said about the auto save feature.

 

[Gaderael]

Micromanagement Motherfuckery flows off the tongue so nice. Well played sir.

 

[MartnRendrs]

He sounded like he was making fun of autistic people at "how I feel about JRPGs"

Good aside from that,

sounds like u don't know shit about autism

 

[Strong Intelligent]

He sounded like he was making fun of autistic people at "how I feel about JRPGs"

Good aside from that,

sounds like u don't know shit about autism

Apart from the fact I am autistic and am part of the National Autistic Society :I

 

[mike1921]

until yahtzee admits these are really just very clever and funny rants i'll keep pointing out that, THAT WAS NOT A REVIEW!!!!...could anyone tell if he even liked the game?...did he finish it or did he just play enough so he had 5 minutes worth of jokes...i would understand...i will keep watching every week religiously regardless..."m@therfu@kery",can't wait to use that one...but i digress, yahtzee if you read these, despite your contempt for fans, please figure a way to express how much you liked a game...4 out of 5 headless pets...shit, maybe i'm asking for too much...nevermind

Ratings are shit. You're supposed to form your own opinion from a review. Also the impression I got was he thought the game was on the upper end of bad, lower end of OK.

You don't need to finish a game to make a judgement on it, that's ridiculous.

first, if i wanted to form my own opinion i'd play the damn thing...and if you're going to review a game you should finish it or say it's too bad to finish...which yahtzee has done but probably not as much as he doesn't finish games

If I want to form an opinion about something I get the general gist of what it is, mixed with criticisms and compliments (normally both, sometimes one could be absent) from someone I have a sorta-similar mindset to and weigh the good and bad. Maybe I don't care if there's a fuckload of micromanagement?

Also, by extension of "from someone with a sorta similar mindset to" , not everyone could get a reasonable review from any given reviewer. Maybe your mindset on videogames isn't the same as yahtzee's? Maybe you should look for someone who thinks like you.

I remember one youtube reviewer who reviewed anime, his response to every flaw or good point in an anime was the exact same as mine would be, and when I saw an anime he reviewed (soul eater) every complaint I had was the same as the ones he had. He was the best reviewer for any anime I was gonna watch, because we had the same mindset. Although you give him to a narutard or a person who uses anime as a masturbation device, or (as a less insulting group so I seem like less of an elitist dick wad)......whatever you call the people who's favorite animes are haruri and things like that, and he'll make them commit suicide after 10 minutes.

He sounded like he was making fun of autistic people at "how I feel about JRPGs"

Good aside from that,

sounds like u don't know shit about autism

Apart from the fact I am autistic and am part of the National Autistic Society :I

I'm mildly autistic (I think..., my mom said so a few times but she's an idiot). You thinking he was making fun of autistic people means you: were already thinking about autism for some other reason, are a knee-jerk-y idiot who looks too far into things to find things that offend you, or are just saying that to be a troll.

 

[gretchen8642]

wonderful review, i was hoping to see yahtzee give a jrpg a go

[http://gpxplus.net/ZwZ1BGNk]

 

[runtheplacered]

wonderful review, i was hoping to see yahtzee give a jrpg a go

You really thought this was a review? How can you start a review off admitting that you hate the genre? This was a rant. Maybe a funny rant, but nothing more then that. I'd also debate that Valkyria Chronicles isn't a JRPG, by definition. But I guess you can call it whatever you want.

 

[ucciolord1]

They just keep getting better and better.

 

[runtheplacered]

I'm mildly autistic (I think..., my mom said so a few times but she's an idiot). You thinking he was making fun of autistic people means you: were already thinking about autism for some other reason, are a knee-jerk-y idiot who looks too far into things to find things that offend you, or are just saying that to be a troll.

You don't get to walk around claiming to be autistic just because your Mom said so. What kind of moronic diagnosis is that? He's allowed to interpret things the way he wants to. His interpretation isn't for you to decide. He even said Yahtzee's rant was good aside from that. What else do you want?

I also don't see how you can claim him to be the troll when you're the one calling him an idiot.

 

[mike1921]

I'm mildly autistic (I think..., my mom said so a few times but she's an idiot). You thinking he was making fun of autistic people means you: were already thinking about autism for some other reason, are a knee-jerk-y idiot who looks too far into things to find things that offend you, or are just saying that to be a troll.

You don't get to walk around claiming to be autistic just because your Mom said so. What kind of moronic diagnosis is that? He's allowed to interpret things the way he wants to. His interpretation isn't for you to decide. He even said Yahtzee's rant was good aside from that. What else do you want?

I also don't see how you can claim him to be the troll when you're the one calling him an idiot.

No, because my mom thinks a doctor said so, but I take everything she thinks as questionable.

Yes, he's allowed to interpret however he wants to, I'm allowed to call his interpretation ridiculous though.

I didn't claim he was a troll, I was saying that was one of 3 reasons I thought of that he might have that interpretation .