Zero Punctuation: Velvet Assassin

mattsell

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Dec 11, 2008
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Trying not to read to much (to not spoil the review), but is anyone else having problems watching the video. After the Team Fortress 2 ad pops up and plays it freezes of the actual video.
 

sgtshock

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Feb 11, 2009
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It's been said before, and I'll say it again. The "community service" joke had me in stitches. It is really weird that it was made in germany though. Not just for the reason of Germany's extreme anti-nazi representation policy, but because the entire game is about slitting the throats of thier countrymen.
 

maximara

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Jul 13, 2008
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The Great JT said:
Axis powers making World War 2 games...next thing you know, an Italian gaming company will make a game called "3D Punch Hitler In The Face".
It does strike me as weird that the Axis power is making WW2 video games. The US I can see as Yahtzee said in an earlier review US WW2 video games are basically the US trying to relive the one war in living memory where the US had a clear evil foe that really mattered. But the Axis powers doing these games? That is totally Bizarro world unless they are made with the US buying public in mind.

Of course given the quality of the games (Velvet Assassin is not getting good reviews from what I have seen) that assumes there was a mind for something to be in.

I am surprised given how much Yahtzee likes stealth games he didn't talk more about the broken stealth mechanic I am reading about in other reviews ie game says you are successively hiding but then a soldier comes around the corner and promptly shoots you.
 

13lackfriday

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Feb 10, 2009
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Haha, nice theory on the ironic locations of the publishing companies doing these games...probably the closest they'll ever get to facing down their guilt and formally apologizing for it.

I liked the exaggeration of all the game's blunders...the instant death with detection, the highly circumstancial get-out-of-jail-free-card mindfuckery, and the mixed messages on morality.
 

The Keeper

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Feb 19, 2009
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Great review. On the other hand, now I've got the phrase "Yahtzee the Game Nazi" stuck in my head, thanks to that last bit.
 

Mr C

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May 8, 2008
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shifty_rob said:
Ending was good. Also, apparently Yahtzee saw the Cracked article about Hitler only having one ball.
Nope, he's just spent some time in an English schoolyard

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitler_Has_Only_Got_One_Ball
 

Mr. Blond

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Mar 4, 2009
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very funny...i liked this one alot...the one ball and silly moustache line in the credits broke me up...i liked hitman, assasins creed, splinter cell, and sweet asses...maybe i'll try this one...more of a review than usual, still just a rant though
 

habslove

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Aug 21, 2008
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lol loved it but for some reason I didn't actually really laugh until the last "community service" part. That got me
 

Silva

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Apr 13, 2009
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I don't know about "anti-war 'bullshit'", Yahtzee. That's your opinion. But otherwise, a nice review.
 

Elf Defiler Korgan

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Apr 15, 2009
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Ah WW II games. Nice review, what Yahtzee did with the deflated Hitman was worth a good laugh. The baby face was a shocker. And how very interesting that the Nazis were humanised, with letters and such.
 
Mar 26, 2008
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It seems Yahtzee has some psuedo-Freudian obsession with cocks and dildos as his last several reviews have contained them in some form. It reminds me of that dude in Superbad who can't help drawing dicks everywhere. Is the next review going to be created entirely using the contents of the back shelf of his local Club X store? Still maybe that is what the kids want these days; more genitalia, buggery jokes and dropping the "c bomb" and less of the more intellectual and topical humour that set him apart from the other moron wanna-bes (fortunately he's still much better than that lot).

That said, I found it a welcome return to form after the adventures in genres-I-don't-like-land. That last bit about the axis developers was an absolute pearler.
 

Peteuplink

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May 20, 2009
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Wow Velvet Assassin and Valkyria Chronicles turned out to be somewhat lacking in the gaming department... Who would have guesed? *insert sarcastic smiley here*
 

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Aug 8, 2007
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I dunno... perhaps it's because I'm German and have heard so many stupid jokes about Germans censoring everything etc etc, but I couldn't laugh so much about the last joke. I'm not offended in any way... it's more like the guy with a stupid name: Others might find jokes about his name very funny, but he's probably heard them all already.
That said, I didn't know this one was made by Germans and I would have expected a German developer to give the topic a bit more respect and put a bit more thought into it.
The rest of the review had its moments, though.