An interesting difference between men and women

[Serioli]

Fair enough to the people that have criticised the OP but for extra fun try reading 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' (or whatever the exact title is). I read it a while ago and, yeah, OP stretched to 300+ pages.

 

[TheIceQueen]

I heard this the other day and it sounded so true. If you disagree and think its a sweeping generalisation then feel free to correct me

"When a man tells someone about a problem or an issue they do so in order to get a solution. When a women talks to someone about a problem or issue its to get sympathy. Communication between men and women can often break down when a women tells a man her problems he will automatically try to think of a solution rather than being sympathetic"

What to you guys think? I know its a bit of a generalisation but it really makes sense to me

Edit: The response has been great to this thread however for those who dont understand id like to point out that this is a generalisation, its a common trend and its certainly not 100% accurate although 60% of the time it works all the time. Men still vent and women still look for solutions. Im certainly not saying women are useless and men are insensitive its just an interesting insight into how people think and it just so happens theres a trend within genders relating to these ways of thinking

You bring up an interesting subject that I have quite a bit of knowledge on. I wrote about this for school. What you're talking about is coping and, in particular, the coping strategies that are used across genders. The 'generalization' you are referring to is that males tend to do more problem-focused coping (i.e. looking for a solution) and that women do more emotion-focused coping, such as seeking social support (Lazarus & Folkman, 1984).

However, the view you are positing is fairly outdated. Yes, it's true that traditionally, males are thought to be problem-focused and women are emotion-focused (Stone & Neale, 1984), which has given rise to the socialization hypothesis. The socialization hypothesis contends that gender differences come about from how differently women and men are socialized from traditional gender stereotypes (Ptacek, Smith, & Zanas, 1992). The problem presents itself quite readily, though, if you look at hard enough. If stereotypes change, if the sexes become more equal, then so too will these gender differences in coping.

If you thought that, then you would be quite a bit correct. I can show you one case that immediately contradicts your statement, where men were found to use more emotion-focused coping (Rosario, Shinn, Mørch, & Huckabee, 1988). Yet another few studies found that, given the same resources and roles, no gender differences were found between the sexes (Greenglass & Noguchi, 1996; Persson et al., 2009). Porter and Stone (1995) also do not support the socialization process, once again finding a lack of gender differences. However, Ben-Zur and Zeidner (1996) found that in a war time, gender differences did show up, and quite a bit of them, so we'll proceed by stating that gender might play some role, just different from what was originally thought.

Witt (1997) discusses how gender is potentially more than just biological. The review examines how influences, such as parents and society as a whole, contribute to the role in which gender plays. Egan and Perry (2001) also examine how gender identity is sociocultural, but that it is a concept of the self and that the individual, through the combined forces of self-conception and societal pressure, forms an identity and role that most typifies them in a comfortable manner. Thus, if the socio-cultural influences change, so too will how gender plays into coping.

With all of this in mind, your statement is really only true in areas that are far more traditional, possibly rural, than other areas, and less so in areas where women and men are becoming more and more equal. In these cases, it's not gender that's the better predictor of coping style usage, but rather gender identity/role. Renk and Creasey (2003), for example, found that exact scenario, where biological sex was not a good predictor, but rather gender identity/role.

So, basically, your generalization is fairly weak in this day and age, at least in Midwestern United States, and in a lot of cases, simply outdated.

References (APA style):

Spoiler

Ben-Zur, H., & Zeidner, M. (1996). Gender differences in coping reactions under community crisis and daily routine conditions. Personality and Individual Differences, 20(3), 331-340.

Egan, S. K., & Perry, D. G. (2001). Gender identity: a multidimensional analysis with implications for psychosocial adjustment. Developmental psychology, 37(4), 451.

Greenglass, E.R.and Noguchi, K. (1996). Longevity, gender and health: A psycho cultural perspective. Paper presented at the meeting of the International Society of Health Psychology in Montreal.

Lazarus, R. S., & Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, appraisal, and coping. Springer Publishing Company.

Porter, L. S., & Stone, A. A. (1995). Are there really gender differences in coping?: A reconsideration of previous data and results from a daily study. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 14(2), 184-202.

Persson, R., Hansen, Å. M., Ohlsson, K., Balogh, I., Nordander, C., & Ørbæk, P. (2009). Physiological and psychological reactions to work in men and women with identical job tasks. European Journal of Applied Physiology, 105(4), 595-606.

Ptacek, J. T., Smith, R. E., & Zanas, J. (1992). Gender, appraisal, and coping: A longitudinal analysis. Journal of Personality, 60(4), 747-770.

Renk, K., & Creasey, G. (2003). The relationship of gender, gender identity, and coping strategies in late adolescents. Journal of Adolescence, 26(2), 159-168.

Rosario, M., Shinn, M., Mørch, H., & Huckabee, C. B. (1988). Gender differences in coping and social supports: Testing socialization and role constraint theories. Journal of Community Psychology, 16(1), 55-69.

Stone, A. A., & Neale, J. M. (1984). New measure of daily coping: Development and preliminary results. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 46(4), 892.

Witt, S. D. (1997). Parental influence on children's socialization to gender roles. Adolescence, 32(126), 253-259.

 

[Full]

Exactly my experience
I would say that for men proportion is reversed
So difference is so small you can't exactly rely on this stereotype.
But I noticed one thing though
If you make mistake and offer solution/advice instead of emphaty, men will accept it far better than women
Woman will stare at you as if you are moron who don't understand anything
(nod your head in solidarity and sigh if you have heard "Men just don't get it" phrase)

You also have to kind of note in my experience I was blatantly looking for it, and it's also inconsistent and sucks ass.

 

[Spearmaster]

I heard this the other day and it sounded so true. If you disagree and think its a sweeping generalisation then feel free to correct me

"When a man tells someone about a problem or an issue they do so in order to get a solution. When a women talks to someone about a problem or issue its to get sympathy. Communication between men and women can often break down when a women tells a man her problems he will automatically try to think of a solution rather than being sympathetic"

What to you guys think? I know its a bit of a generalisation but it really makes sense to me

Edit: The response has been great to this thread however for those who dont understand id like to point out that this is a generalisation, its a common trend and its certainly not 100% accurate although 60% of the time it works all the time. Men still vent and women still look for solutions. Im certainly not saying women are useless and men are insensitive its just an interesting insight into how people think and it just so happens theres a trend within genders relating to these ways of thinking

It is a generalization and mostly untrue, it depends on the subject matter and the state of mind the person is in. Then you have to look at the nature of the relationship between the two people interacting. People don't familiarize themselves with others for no reason, it is usually for a beneficial reason, mutual or otherwise. There you have the nature of the familiarity between two people, empathetic, problem solver, fun for activities, sexual attraction... the list goes on. No one person can cover everything, that's why people have more than one friend.

I believe the miscommunications are the most noticeable and stick in our minds. These occur when one party is looking for something from the other that is outside the general nature of their relationship.

This issue is far to complex to be generalized purely by gender but it does open doors to gender based questions on the nature of relationships though. Do women seek empathy more than men? Do men feel problem solving is more important than empathy? Do the genders seek different qualities from friends based on gender? Do some people respond differently based purely on the subject matter not based on gender? All good questions.