Apple Patents New "Anti-Sexting" Technology

[SelectivelyEvil13]

So in other words, slang vernacular is going to get even dumber?

Oh, oh, Macaroni, I'm going to crayon you so library that you sofa until ellipse!

Orange, red, GREEN!!! Oh, purple my windshield like a dishwasher, you overcooked poptart!

That or kids will just use the bloody camera. Yes, it could be a tool for parents, if it weren't for how much more efficient camera sex is just on paper compared to sexting.

That does not even bring into the equation the whole host of camera applications: Sending someone various gestures (not just the finger either), cursing on a video message, unsightly body parts a la Xbox Live camera + UNO, ect.

iDunno, maybe parents shouldn't be treating immature pre-teens as autonomous, responsible individuals who need an expensive phone in the first place.

 

[Russian_Assassin]

YOU CAN'T BLOCK ME, APPLE!

Penis! Penis! Penis! Penis! Penis! Penis! Penis!

See?

No, seriously, what the fuck is this crap? Does mommy really need to control every aspect of Timmy's life? Did she spawn a kid or a doll she can play with?

 

[Fensfield]

Finally!

Oh, not that I'm one for censorship, but maybe this'll eventually filter down to those horrible filters in MMO games and finally make them bearable to work with.

 

[Nouw]

Yes because words are more sexual than pictures and videos...

 

[loremazd]

Fuck. That.

Too far.

The resistance starts here, WHO'S WITH ME?

Yeah, screw the parents who change how the phone they bought for me works!

It is a little silly though.

 

[lSHaDoW-FoXl]

You know, I'm not sure whether to laugh at how ridiculously absurd this idea is or cry at just how border line moronic it sounds. Parents, as a former child and a currently unemployed nineteen year old with no life I will confess something:

Your child is probably a brat. While you're all at home feeding your kid your beliefs and teaching him the 'supposed' way to be civilized he's probably cursing and bullying other kids.
Bullying is not really the topic here but cursing certainly is, and here it goes.

Just because he doesn't curse at home doesn't mean he doesn't curse at school. As a kid I cursed a fair bit and there were some kids who wouldn't stop. By telling us not to say certain words you're reinforcing us to say them, and as George Carlin and 100 other comedians once said 'It's the context of the words that count.'

They're just words. So what if they're vulgar? You can't shelter your kids from reality and by doing so we're basically doing nothing about anything. Another two reasons this idea can go die is because of the censorship which is involved and the fact that it's useless.

Your kid is hearing and saying all those things anyway so why block them out from them? Oh and if you have a daughter that's fifteen she's probably doing at least half of those things. So here is what I think of Apples 'Anti-Sexting' technology.

****, *****, slut, whore, dicks, cocks, fucker, asshole, bastard, mother fucker, fuck head, dick wad, and the biggest curse word to any corporation:

Freedom and individuality.

Now can someone cue up 'George Carlin's seven dirty words'?

 

[zombiefan]

*Ring ring ring*
"Hi jenny it's me jeff"
"Hey jeff...wait why aren't you sexting me?"
"My parents set up a blocker on my phone so we can't sext each other without them aproving the messages."
"That sucks. why don't you come over here and we could "Talk" about it."
"Sure jenny i ove "Talking" with you at your house."
" You could help me study the Trojan war"
"OK i'll be there in a bit."

Gee texting sure is the problem isn't it?it's not like Phones serve any other purposes.

That kind of cell phone blocker [http://www.espow.com/wholesale-security-jammer.html] is strong.

 

[Wandrecanada]

It's always nice to know Apple is putting it's resources to work on the really important things that need fixing on their devices.

Hopefully their next step will be to have the phone drop the signal when someone uses a naughty word over the cellular lines.

 

[EndlessCarnage]

You dun goofed, Apple.
Apple has officially informed the cyber police of children's explicit behavior via text messaging. I am afraid the consequences will never be the same...
this is just a bit ridiculous, and I don't think apple realizes how completely stupid this idea is.
And just to throw my little piece in as far as getting around the censoring
"I want to giggedy your googus"...anyway
For real though, this is just pointless. Tey might as well just admit it "We know this is a bad idea seeing as how todays youth will find a way around this censor within minutes, but why not let the 'administrator' think thy are just that much more in control?"
To me this feels like Apple is trying to get ignorant parents to fork over a metric fuckton of cash so they can release something that won't really help in the first place...unless you are one of those kids who is 8 years old and you already have an iPhone...

 

[Kelthurin]

The point. What is it?

 

[Terramax]

Simple, don't buy an iPhone or any other iOS device.

It only took 29 posts down for someone to finally come up with the simple solution.

 

[blxtnsq]

As much as I absolutely loathe apple they said the program was only for parents to put on their kids phones - not something that was going to filter EVERYONE's texts whether they wanted it or not.

Or maybe they're just starting out small. Soon it will be everyone :O
Obviously, Apple's long term goal is to stop human reproduction entirely. It's part of their evil plan.

 

[randomrob]

"I want this V-chip out of me.... It has stunted my Vocabulary...." Seriously this is just stupid. Which apple employee cam up with this? do they have crayons stuffed up their nose?

 

[Lathos Zan]

Three things, people.

One. It's optional. Apple isn't going to make every text ever sent be checked, only those to/from accounts with the plan.

Two. Parents have the option to have all texts forwarded from their child's phone to theirs, so they can check for inappropriate images.

Three. My main problem with this is that it's contributing to parents not having to parent any more. The government is responsible for what they see on TV, and in video games and movies, and computer/phone companies are responsible for what the child can and cannot say/do. I do foresee, very soon, an age where people pop out babies, then they are shipped through a tube to government facilities, and nobody knows who their parents are. As it is now, though, no, most parents cannot check their child's phone because A., They have no idea how to be a parent, and B., children are deceitful little blighters. A parent is lucky to know their child is even getting a text. Parents cannot be expected to follow a child around and hold their cellphones until said child wants to call/text, and then proof read every message.

My feelings about this software are bittersweet. On one hand, it's making parents not have to teach their children how to behave on their own, on the other, it's a powerful resource to make the enforcing of these rules for rebellious children more possible. Also, most parents don't know what "asl" and the like means. Hell, some don't even know what "lol" is. I'd say it's more good than bad.

And am I the only one who thinks parents have the right to decide what is and is not appropriate for their children? Has not a parent the right to decide their 14 year old daughter shouldn't be talking about !@#$ and %^&* with people? And my aunt once let my cousin continue to play a game because he would play on Spanish servers, so it helped him with his classes... or so he claimed... *dramatic music cue*

And yes, I'm pro-Apple.

 

[Autofaux]

On a scale of one to ten, who even supported this stupid idea?

 

[Darth_Dude]

Fuck. That.

Too far.

The resistance starts here, WHO'S WITH ME?

YES! COME ON! WE CA-

*ping*

Ohh a new Angry Birds level is out!

 

[blankedboy]

Fuck. That.

Too far.

The resistance starts here, WHO'S WITH ME?

I am.

Now where is the nearest Apple Store, I got me some geniuses to kill.

Genius?

Wait, what company are we talking about?

 

[Darkauthor81]

There will be a crack available for it within an hour of release. Parents, being utterly techno phobic and wanting nothing to do with the responsibility of raising their own children, wont notice that it's been cracked. And so, the children will go on sexting while the parents sit back and breathe as sigh of relief that technology has yet again delivered them from having to act like parents.