Are you a "nice guy"?

[0p3rati0n]

I've been told I'm a nice guy before multiple times (mainly by the same people). I can be very helpful and respectful. Mainly I'm just honest and I mean very honest! I usually lie to the people that are complete assholes to me.

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

*face palm*
I find if you're trying to attract the opposite sex, moping around feeling sorry for yourself doesnt help you "nice guys" much

 

[Rarhnor]

There was a time when I a nice guy, thank god I managed to man up and see the pusiness of my ways.

I was. Now I'm an asshole. It's not much fun. Trying to find a middle ground somewhere. (Yes, it is possible to realise that you've become a worse person. It's a horrible revelation)

Being honest with ourselves is a good step on the road to becoming a better person ^^

Don't get rid of the "niceguy" persona. You stick with it. Ladies love the dorky nice guy.

Indeed. Some of us really do.

Wouldn't you agree you're in a tiny minority though? I've certainly never seen it happening in rl.

I've seen it, experienced it even.

A friend of mine got approached by a long lost classmate, and asked my friend out...just like that.

Another acquaintance was in the middle of discussion with a bartender (he never goes to bars by the way) about jokes on quantum physics, when a random girl mentioned something in context to the discussion, and after the discussion, they went on a midnight-stroll-date, like 3 hours later.

Both quirky and sort of "clumsy" individuals.

I've been come on to as well, by being dorky and just...nice. My teacher requested that she'd carpool with a classmate, to pick up some hardware material for our architect class. I seriously did nothing, but talk to the receptionist about the order, and swiftly commenting on more "soon-to-come youth visitors, hungry for wood", which he interpreted as a lewd remark, which resulted in my own embarrassment.
The girl, who carpooled with us, turned out to be an aspiring model, taking architect classes to fall back on in the future, and indiscreetly interested in me, putting her hand on my shoulder and asking for name, and other personal stuff.
('Course i couldn't take responsibility for her interest, as I was soon to move to Japan for an extended period of time, and felt it would be unfair, if I began dating her only to bail 3 months later.


Some inspiring stories for my fellow brothers across the globe.

 

[pppppppppppppppppp]

Nope, I'm not a "nice guy".

As for what women find attractive in men, well I don't find anything attractive in men.

Yay me for being super helpful!

I loled...

Fine, you can can choose from these super special questions since none of this pertains to you:

Do you think the King's Speech deserved to win best picture?

Does Jon Huntsman have a chance to win the Republican primary?

Is killing always justified in the name of self defense?

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

 

[TheJesus89]

lol no. People genuinely like me, but not because I'm nice.

I'm actually kind of a dick. But the funny kind of dick. It's not like I just shit on the nerdy kids, and it's never for anything serious. I shit on all kids of all shapes and sizes.

So no, I'm not a "nice guy". But yes, I am an equal rights shitter.

 

[Yopaz]

A nice guy by your definition? No. I am quite masculine and I think I appear confident (though I'm not). I'm a nice guy in the way that I can make almost any girl blush by my compliments and I am rarely downright rude in any way except for when I am joking. So I think I am considered nice, but not a spineless pussy. I'm not even considered anti-social which is a surprise.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

Anyway, is anyone else here a "nice guy" in other people's eyes? By "nice guy" I mean someone who tries to be courteous and polite to everyone, but comes off having no confidence or masculinity.

Yup. Yup yup yuppity yup. I'm usually super polite and nice and stuff, and I'm REALLY too freakin spineless (I usually feel uncomfortable even going "no, guys, I DON'T want to go for freaking sushi, can't we just grab a spaghetti at that place across the street instead?"). And it doesn't help that I've only just now (after 5 years) developed a normal level of self esteem, and that I have no muscle mass to speak of.

So Yeah, I think I fall into that category.

Someone who has a lot of friends that are girls, but no girlfriend. Someone who when they like a girl, makes the mistake of becoming their close platonic friend because they're too timid to ask them out. Someone who lets other people walk all over them in an attempt to please everyone. Ect, ect...

That happened to me a LOT back in the day. I once made the mistake of getting attracted to a girl only to find out she was ENGAGED right as I was working up the nerve to ask her out.

But, about 6 months ago, I hit the jackpot and got in a relationship with the nicest gamer girl in the history of Canada. And despite her being uber nice and sensitive, she's always shocked and amazed by me just doing normally nice things for her. So she appreciates me being the "nice guy"

...But honestly, the older you get, the more women will look at the nice guys. As women get older, they want stability. They want someone they can trust will have their back. So you'll find someone eventually, don't sweat it.

I've been trying to get rid of the "nice guy" persona for some time now and be more confident and assertive, but I keep falling back into old habits. Does anyone else have this problem? And to the .01% of this site that are women, what exactly is bad or unattractive about "nice guys" anyway?

I wouldn't say to get rid of the nice guy persona. Just start trying to be a bit more assertive. If you don't' like something, just say it. If you've got an opinon, opine! If someone is doing something stupid or being a dick, call them out on it. Don't be afraid to make yourself heard. And above all, don't self doubt yourself for every little !@#$ing thing. That'll just make you paranoid.

Once you take those steps, your self confidence will start to improve, and you'll find things that much easier.

Getting rid of the "nice guy" persona is not the solution. Rather, the solution is to build up your confidence so that you can still be a nice guy without appearing timid and shy.

 

[artanis_neravar]

There was a time when I a nice guy, thank god I managed to man up and see the pusiness of my ways.

I was. Now I'm an asshole. It's not much fun. Trying to find a middle ground somewhere. (Yes, it is possible to realise that you've become a worse person. It's a horrible revelation)

Being honest with ourselves is a good step on the road to becoming a better person ^^

Don't get rid of the "niceguy" persona. You stick with it. Ladies love the dorky nice guy.

Indeed. Some of us really do.

Wouldn't you agree you're in a tiny minority though? I've certainly never seen it happening in rl.

I would completely disagree with this, I know plenty of woman who love the dorky nerdy guy, you just need to hang out in the right clouds, don't go to a dance club to find a nerdy girl, go to PAXeast.

 

[FrostyChick]

Well best to be direct now, than crush your hopes later.

I mean wouldn't you rather be told the hot chick is a lesbian straight away than get to know her, develop a crush on her only to find out she's genetically programmed to not be interested in you?

...is this a trick question? If I answer this honestly are people going to jump out of white vans and kidnap me?

Well after thinking it through, it's more a question of would you like to dream but hurt or not dream and never experience pain?

Which is a lot more difficult a question than I intended...

I loled...

Fine, you can can choose from these super special questions since none of this pertains to you:

Do you think the King's Speech deserved to win best picture?

Does Jon Huntsman have a chance to win the Republican primary?

Is killing always justified in the name of self defense?

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

I haven't seen it, but from what I've heard (and not just from Movie Bob) it was one of those movies that were made specifically to get that award regardless what the general public thought.

I don't follow American politics. (Me being from Scotland.)

If you are clearly physically capable of subduing your opponent without killing them, then you shouldn't kill them. Killing in self defence is only justifiable if it's the only remaining option.

I've been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It's just common sense.

 

[draconiansundae]

Wouldn't you agree you're in a tiny minority though? I've certainly never seen it happening in rl.

No, I don't think so. Most of my female friends who are in relationships have very nice boyfriends. Whenever I have been interested in someone who turned out the be a jerk, I lost interest very quickly.

 

[pppppppppppppppppp]

I've been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It's just common sense.

Yyyyyyeah.........

Right back at you, buddy...

 

[artanis_neravar]

Well best to be direct now, than crush your hopes later.

I mean wouldn't you rather be told the hot chick is a lesbian straight away than get to know her, develop a crush on her only to find out she's genetically programmed to not be interested in you?

...is this a trick question? If I answer this honestly are people going to jump out of white vans and kidnap me?

Well after thinking it through, it's more a question of would you like to dream but hurt or not dream and never experience pain?

Which is a lot more difficult a question than I intended...

I loled...

Fine, you can can choose from these super special questions since none of this pertains to you:

Do you think the King's Speech deserved to win best picture?

Does Jon Huntsman have a chance to win the Republican primary?

Is killing always justified in the name of self defense?

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

I haven't seen it, but from what I've heard (and not just from Movie Bob) it was one of those movies that were made specifically to get that award regardless what the general public thought.

I don't follow American politics. (Me being from Scotland.)

If you are clearly physically capable of subduing your opponent without killing them, then you shouldn't kill them. Killing in self defence is only justifiable if it's the only remaining option.

I've been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It's just common sense.

Ah, I apologize. I read "the hot chick is a lesbian" and went in a completely different direction than what you were asking...my bad

With that cleared up, yes I would prefer to know right away, definitely easier that way.

 

[RyanBishop]

Hey guys, just asked a lady friend out today, and I got the whole "You a really nice guy, but..." speech about "not wanting to ruin our friendship" and inevitably ended with "...but I still want to stay friends." [small](Except she's going to avoid me like the plague from now on, so it's not like we're really going to stay friends)[/small] Story of my life...

[/useless whining]

Anyway, is anyone else here a "nice guy" in other people's eyes? By "nice guy" I mean someone who tries to be courteous and polite to everyone, but comes off having no confidence or masculinity. Someone who has a lot of friends that are girls, but no girlfriend. Someone who when they like a girl, makes the mistake of becoming their close platonic friend because they're too timid to ask them out. Someone who lets other people walk all over them in an attempt to please everyone. Ect, ect...

[small](In some circles, this is also known as being a "huge, spineless pussy".)[/small]

I've been trying to get rid of the "nice guy" persona for some time now and be more confident and assertive, but I keep falling back into old habits. Does anyone else have this problem? And to the .01% of this site that are women, what exactly is bad or unattractive about "nice guys" anyway?

Oh, and sorry if this topic's been done to death. I couldn't find anything on the search bar, but I have a feeling it's been done before.

I always was the "nice guy". I feel for you enormously.
At one point I decided to fuck it all up and done some horrible things to people I liked. Now they sort of hate me for it. Yay for breaking the mold?
Listen, cherish this "nice" thing you have. Because it will pay off in an epic manner one day. Some way or another.

 

[Grotch Willis]

Yeah, I am a nice guy "in person", on these forums though I am more of what yahtzee considers a ponce.

 

[uberhippy]

By the description of 'nice guy' I think i fall in pretty well.
I've been described by quite a few people that I'm overly polite, to the stage of kind of social akwardness (with peoples I don't know that well)

Then again, there is this crazy fiancé I have who I've been going out with since I was 16.. She thinks I'm a nice guy, thinks I'm silly, socially akward, and that I frequently resemble a lost puppy.

If I can get a fiancé with just being a 'nice guy' I see nothing wrong with that

 

[Xeraxis]

I would call myself nice but not the kind of nice that I do everything hand and foot for a woman. I'm not that spineless. I can be assertive as well if the situation calls for it.

However, my lack of experience with women has led to an incline in frustration, as the only women who have given me compliments are mothers and grandmothers, which is pretty much a given, regardless of who it is.

Also, everyone's stupid advice on how to be attractive/confident really doesn't help or explain anything. Just a bunch of restated cliches and such.

 

[ChaoticKraus]

I'm an asshole but i'm also overly friendly and joke around alot. Most people seem to like me, doesn't matter if they're male, female, young, old etc. You simply have to balance your character properly for each individual/situation.

 

[WOPR]

*snip*

Dude, you sound like me... being that it's your post I'll keep my story short.

I'm not bad looking, I'm physically fit, I'm musically talented, I'm really smart, I'm a great cook, I have a job (about $850/month if I work full-time, but sadly I'm NICE person...

out of the 28 girls I've asked out
every one is the same story

1) "You're a great guy and you're just so amazing; any girl would be lucky to have you"
2) "...but we're JUST friends, okay?"
3) they later ask me to meet their new boyfriend, who is always the same

can barely play guitar but carries one with him everywhere
can barely skateboard but talks big about it
has no job
spends all free time smoking pot
is abusive (verbally and/or physically)


all that being said, and reading other posts
this may be a dick move but LADIES! if you don't want us to assume you ALWAYS go for the jerk over the nice guy

THEN ACTUALLY TAKE THE NICE GUYS FOR ONCE!

(also I can't tell you how many girls have asked me to come over to their houses to hang out only to tell me their computers broken and they can't afford an $80 repair fee so they ask me...)

 

[loc978]

I was a "nice guy" for a long time, until my situation wound down to its logical conclusion. I'm still nice to my friends and anyone who is nice to me, but I'm aloof and indifferent around strangers and I seek to destroy anyone who tries to walk on me.
Eventually nice people have to deal with the harshness of human society, or it will destroy them. This includes socially. It's rather unfortunate, in my eyes.

 

[artanis_neravar]

*snip*

Dude, you sound like me... being that it's your post I'll keep my story short.

I'm not bad looking, I'm physically fit, I'm musically talented, I'm really smart, I'm a great cook, I have a job (about $850/month if I work full-time, but sadly I'm NICE person...

out of the 28 girls I've asked out
every one is the same story

1) "You're a great guy and you're just so amazing; any girl would be lucky to have you"
2) "...but we're JUST friends, okay?"
3) they later ask me to meet their new boyfriend, who is always the same

can barely play guitar but carries one with him everywhere
can barely skateboard but talks big about it
has no job
spends all free time smoking pot
is abusive (verbally and/or physically)


all that being said, and reading other posts
this may be a dick move but LADIES! if you don't want us to assume you ALWAYS go for the jerk over the nice guy

THEN ACTUALLY TAKE THE NICE GUYS FOR ONCE!

(also I can't tell you how many girls have asked me to come over to their houses to hang out only to tell me their computers broken and they can't afford an $80 repair fee so they ask me...)

Just curious, how old are you? Oh and if you find out they only invited you over to fix their computer tell them no, you won't fix it right now, if they want you to fix it then they can pick a time for you to come over and and do specifically that