Best insult without swearing?

[Avatar Roku]

"Oh. Oh, god! Don't talk to me again until they cure your condition!"

Then run away screaming. You have no idea how much you'll throw them off.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

I've always liked calling people "neanderthal" or I say "go play on the motorway"

 

[CJ1145]

"I would've been your daddy, but a dog beat me over the fence!"

My favorite for strangers is to walk up to someone and say

"Why, thank you sir. I have been meaning to kill myself all this fine morning, and I find that every time I look at you, a piece of me dies."

 

[HuntrRose]

To someone I know "I do wish we could be better strangers!"
To girls we have "Veriest varlot that ever chewed with a tooth"
or the more general "Not so much brain as earwax!"

 

[Avatar Roku]

To someone I know "I do wish we could be better strangers!"
To girls we have "Veriest varlot that ever chewed with a tooth"
or the more general "Not so much brain as earwax!"

Ah, ain't Shakespeare grand? By the way, the first one is "I do desire..."

EDIT:I like "Canker Blossom!" myself.

 

[-Orgasmatron-]

I wouldn't piss down your throat if you were on fire.

Don't you mean "piss on you", I don't see how pissing down someones throat has any relevance to them being on fire.

 

[Schneebly]

You're so ugly you should shave your arse and walk on your hands

 

[cprs_]

Rinse your mouth out with buckshot, or you are the semen that your mother should have swallowed.

 

[The_Night_Walker]

I would call your mum a Pig but that would belittle the pig

 

[Christemo]

when someone says something that could be indirectly dirty, say "yeah, she said that too last night". it works at anything including suck, stick, anything that could be "misunderstood" as i like to call it.

 

[sorry user name taken.]

WHOA!

~while jumping back disgusted~


lol

 

[Robin_Lyon]

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!

 

[HuntrRose]

To someone I know "I do wish we could be better strangers!"
To girls we have "Veriest varlot that ever chewed with a tooth"
or the more general "Not so much brain as earwax!"

Ah, ain't Shakespeare grand? By the way, the first one is "I do desire..."

EDIT:I like "Canker Blossom!" myself.

Details..

anyway, Shakespearian Insults Mug FTW!

 

[Mr.Terious]

" Yeah? Well...your ugly!"
....or are they incredibly attractive?...
Gets them every time!
...or just sometimes?...

 

[Sayvara]

Insults are a kind of trolling. I don't argue with people that react to insults because anyone that takes trolling bait is down too much on his/her rational thoughts to have a sensible argument with in the first place. Also such a person does not have the capacity to appreciate a clever insult.

So I just go: "You!! *points* Off my planet, NOW!"

/S

 

[WolfThomas]

Anything Captain Haddock says

Using words that aren't insulting:

"YOU ECTOPLASM!"

And alliteration:

"Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles!"

 

[Eric_Autopsy]

''Oh you human.''

 

[Lunatic_Monk]

"Rotted sack of testicle warts"

 

[Disaster Button]

Look the person in the face, smile sweetly and say "Aw I see your mom didn't have the guts to finish the abortion"

 

[fletch_talon]

I once called someone a mormon as an insult... not on purpose and they weren't a Mormon, I was supposed to say moron.

In saying that I'd find it highly offensive if someone mistook me for a follower of certain styles of Mormonism.