Best insult without swearing?

[fix-the-spade]

#Large exhalation of breath# "Are you done yet?"

 

[ben---neb]

Go play in the traffic

It takes all sorts to make the world but your the exception that proves the rule

 

[Wayne Insane]

You're worse than Adolf Hitler

or:

I hope you step on a Landmine

 

[RnAoDm]

Your only friend is imaginary and even he doesnt like you

 

[Mirika_the_warrior]

"I may be drunk but you sir, are frightfully ugly.
And at least I shall be sober in the morning."

great; paraphrase Churchill

anyway my two cents is; "you couldn't get a job as a firing-squad target"

 

[fletch_talon]

Ooh I remembered someone elses.
A friend of mine told this annoying chick that she resembles the southern end of a north bound camel.

Then we laughed when she didn't get it.

It was the same result when we told her that her death would cause the global average IQ to go up 10 points.

 

[-IT-]

Meh, just throw a shoe.

 

[1shotatglory]

"go take the cookies out of the oven with your nose"

HAHA! i win i have the dumbest one 0.0

 

[Kuchinawa212]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!

 

[slevin8989]

You sir are bald!!
Courage the Cowardly Dog-

 

[MarcoB]

Meh, just throw a shoe.

We have a winner ladies and gentlemen.

 

[Nickolai77]

"Is it me or has your neck just vomited?"

 

[Simriel]

'You are a perfect example of Utter Mediocrity'

 

[the1ultimate]

The villiage called, they want your... you... meh, you are an ID10T.

There's plenty of non-swearing insults, but you have to pick the right one for the occaision.

 

[TiteAce]

Leonidas to sir traitorous hunchback, " May you live forever. " Woot woot you goat trail introducing to murderous armys of misfits led by an androgenous giant, bastard.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

England (no offense to the English, heard it on a video, I'm actually quite jealous of the English)

This is from scrubs. I'm desperately hoping to find a situation in real life where i can use it:

"Aww, you've got a little crush on yourself. Be careful though the guy you're in love with's a douche."

Which episode, I don't recall that joke?

 

[Sayvara]

I just remembered one of the best retorts ever. From "Seven years in Tibet":

There was a time I would have wished you dead but your shame will be your torture and your torture will be your life. I wish it to be long.

/S

 

[BernasLL]

"You, sir, are a douche."

Polite, yet vulgar . The perfect balance .

But you can always go for
"Your momma called. She wants her.." followed by gruesome sex talk . Works fine in both insulting and traumatizing .

 

[Sparrow]

Douche.

 

[yeah_so_no]

The Southern lady "Oh, bless your heart."

It basically means you are completely useless and pathetic, so bad that you can't even be insulted, just pitied, and probably a giant flaming moron to boot.

Especially "Oh, bless your heart, you tried." That means you completely effed it up, and effing it up was pretty much all anyone expected you to have managed anyway--you did your best, but your best sucks, and 'suck' is about as good as you'll ever manage.