Could You Date A Transexual?

[DugMachine]

Don't believe I could. If I had knowledge that you were a male before hand I just couldn't.

 

[HellbirdIV]

I'm dating one right now.

So I guess my answer to your question is "possibly, if (s)he's nice, intelligent and shares my interests".

 

[FrostyChick]

I never could, there is no way to make a male into female or vise versa and doing so is just mutilation. I'm fine if they want to act like the opposite gender, but when you get to the surgery I find that crossing the line. Like how furries have a fursona, and then there's that guy who sewn a dogs face onto his. Then again I'm not attracted to plastic surgery in general, and the more drastic of a change the more of a turn-off it is.

No, being a transsexual is most likely nothing like roleplaying a character in a fandom.

it's absolutely nothing like that. It's deeper..WAY deeper.

Spoiler: We need to go deeper!

And that's all I can really contribute to this thread. Other than to say yes, assuming I were to ever date anyone.

 

[drisky]

I won't get into the misinformed statements, as I am not the argumentative type anymore.

Seems like you are doing it anyway, it just wouldn't be a transsexual thread with out you correcting people

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

I won't get into the misinformed statements, as I am not the argumentative type anymore.

Seems like you are doing it anyway, it just wouldn't be a transsexual thread with out you correcting people

Uhh I haven't correct anyone just trying educate. I am not arguing with you or anyone else... but if you think THIS is argumentative... this is nothing. As I said, I won't belabor the point. I am ready to move on and have a sensible discussion. I was only trying to expand the knowledge that some people may lack, or may not have heard about.

Not sure how many TS threads pop up here, but i only recently came back after months away.

 

[JoJo]

EDIT: Also, to everyone in this thread who said 'I want to have children', would you date someone who can't have children for some reason, or just is very certain they don't want to?

I'm just wondering how many people use that as an excuse...

Yes, I would not start a serious relationship with anyone who didn't want or couldn't have children, it's that simple. To many people having a family is an important life goal and while adoption is an option, it takes years of jumping through hoops and most adoptive children take a different challenge to raise than biological kids since at the best they've experienced neglect and often much worse abuse.

OT: I would date for short-term if I found them attractive but for long-term, the lack of fertility would rule it out. People are free to choose their own gender and I will respect their choice but I'm some what sceptical about the whole "it's not a mental condition, it's physical," point. There are people who believe they are wrong age (adult babies) or the wrong species (otherkin), do they have a physical problem too?

are those in the DSM? Gender Dysphoria is, and was declassified now that deeper long term study has been done. It is not considered a mental disorder by the mental, and medical health community.

To be fair the adult babies (Paraphilic Infantilism [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilic_infantilism]) are a recognised disorder. I'm not a psychologist so I'm not going to pretend my opinions are worth that much but I am a biology student and so I've got to wonder what the biological basis for calling a transgenderism a physical disorder is when it mainly seems to affect the brain. There are developmental disorders based in the brain like autism or dyspraxia so perhaps it should more properly classed alongside those.

 

[DarthSka]

Nah, couldn't do it. Call me close-minded but if you have an expressed Y-chromosome then to me you are a male/man/guy/boy/dude/bro etc. I wouldn't mind being friends with any, but I just wouldn't be able to consider them an actual woman.

You have a right to that opinion and that's perfectly fine.. but a lot of trans girls including myself would not associate with someone who claims to be a friend, but sees us as our birth sex and not the gender we truly are.

And I respect your opinion. In a friendship with me though, it wouldn't be something that's a big deal anymore than some of the exact opposite religious and political opinions I share with my current friends. In this case, I wouldn't really focus on you as a female, trans girl, male, etc. I would focus on you as a person, gender be damned. In the case of romance, one of the things I do focus on is sexuality, but for friends, a good personality is all I care about. And in the situation you described, it would just be another thing we share different opinions on, which I think shouldn't exactly be a deal breaker.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

EDIT: Also, to everyone in this thread who said 'I want to have children', would you date someone who can't have children for some reason, or just is very certain they don't want to?

I'm just wondering how many people use that as an excuse...

Yes, I would not start a serious relationship with anyone who didn't want or couldn't have children, it's that simple. To many people having a family is an important life goal and while adoption is an option, it takes years of jumping through hoops and most adoptive children take a different challenge to raise than biological kids since at the best they've experienced neglect and often much worse abuse.

OT: I would date for short-term if I found them attractive but for long-term, the lack of fertility would rule it out. People are free to choose their own gender and I will respect their choice but I'm some what sceptical about the whole "it's not a mental condition, it's physical," point. There are people who believe they are wrong age (adult babies) or the wrong species (otherkin), do they have a physical problem too?

are those in the DSM? Gender Dysphoria is, and was declassified now that deeper long term study has been done. It is not considered a mental disorder by the mental, and medical health community.

To be fair the adult babies (Paraphilic Infantilism [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilic_infantilism]) are a recognised disorder. I'm not a psychologist so I'm not going to pretend my opinions are worth that much but I am a biology student and so I've got to wonder what the biological basis for calling a transgenderism a physical disorder is when it mainly seems to affect the brain. There are developmental disorders based in the brain like autism or dyspraxia so perhaps it should more properly classed alongside those.

I misspoke i guess it's a chemical one i guess. I don't know exactly..it's definitely not BDD or anything like that. I just know that the medical community no longer considers it a mental illness.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

And I respect your opinion. In a friendship with me though, it wouldn't be something that's a big deal anymore than some of the exact opposite religious and political opinions I share with my current friends. In this case, I wouldn't really focus on you as a female, trans girl, male, etc. I would focus on you as a person, gender be damned. In the case of romance, one of the things I do focus on is sexuality, but for friends, a good personality is all I care about. And in the situation you described, it would just be another thing we share different opinions on, which I think shouldn't exactly be a deal breaker.

Well ok then! i like it, i like it alot sounds great! lol

 

[Casual Shinji]

Why do these transgender threads always exude this vibe that not being able to be physically attracted to every human being on the planet makes you a bad person?

I don't think anyone is saying that really, any one who does is rather silly. You can't force someone to be a attracted to trans people any more then a trans person can "just deal with it. No one should have to make apologies for their sexuality and that means heterosexuals too. However people go beyond that and add an unnecessary level of hostilely to their answers. I'll use yours as an example.

No way in hell.

I'm sorry for everyone who feels trapped in the wong gender's physique, but to me if you're a guy then you're a guy. And I'm attracted to girls.

And there's more to it. I find people who have undergone heavy duty plastic surgery horribly unappealing. I wouldn't want to date a man who (surgically) became a woman anymore than I would want to date a woman who (surgically) became a man.

Yours was a relatively mild way of putting it, (relative to comparing it to cutting of dog faces, almost everything is mild) but your words still come off as telling transpeople they are delusional. That's the problem. Rather then saying something like "Its not something I could get past physically or sexually", many have to try and act like transpeople are lies in human form. That is the part that offends people, the idea that they are all delusional.

The thing is if someone feels trapped in the wrong gender, they can decide for themselves to change this and be of a different gender. But they can't decide this for everyone else around them, and say that those who don't see them as what they themselves now perceive their gender to be, as close minded and oppressive.

Gender is most definately an important thing otherwise people who feel trapped in the wrong one wouldn't have an issue with it. And changing it drastically impacts the lives of the person who changes it and the people around them. It's not just a simple "Now I am a woman/man; deal with it".

 

[Rawne1980]

Such a tease ;P hehe

Ahhh you know you love it

Regardless of anything else you know I think you're a star.

 

[Gottesstrafe]

I could date anyone I damn well please. I don't have to be interested in pursuing a relationship with them or interested in them at all, on the surface it's just being in close contact with each other (with varying levels of exclusivity) for extended periods of time socially and in private.

Could I pursue a romantic relationship with a transsexual? No. We might be able to share a bond mentally or emotionally, but I'd be lying if I said I wished to pursue one beyond that or a more physical relationship. In addition to personal and biological urges, I've yet to see a truly convincing transsexual. Despite modern advancements in hormone therapy and plastic surgery, the telltale signs are still there (especially noticeable if you're flat out told that they're trans).

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

Such a tease ;P hehe

Ahhh you know you love it

Regardless of anything else you know I think you're a star.

Ya i do ;P

and yes i am my life fracken rocks atm... I am trilled to be alive! I am SUCH a happy girl these days... MUCH different than the old me.

 

[smokeyninjas]

Nah our medical technology is still a long way off from being able to swap a persons gender popping some pills and renovating the old crotch zone aint enough

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

I've yet to see a truly convincing transsexual. Despite modern advancements in hormone therapy and plastic surgery, the telltale signs are still there (especially noticeable if you're flat out told that they're trans).

one of the biggest issues with appearance for trans girls is the surgeries are not perfect, and many of us can't afford ALL of them needed to truly be 100% passable. Some people are blessed with feminine features or begin early and hrt has a better effect.

 

[JoJo]

EDIT: Also, to everyone in this thread who said 'I want to have children', would you date someone who can't have children for some reason, or just is very certain they don't want to?

I'm just wondering how many people use that as an excuse...

Yes, I would not start a serious relationship with anyone who didn't want or couldn't have children, it's that simple. To many people having a family is an important life goal and while adoption is an option, it takes years of jumping through hoops and most adoptive children take a different challenge to raise than biological kids since at the best they've experienced neglect and often much worse abuse.

OT: I would date for short-term if I found them attractive but for long-term, the lack of fertility would rule it out. People are free to choose their own gender and I will respect their choice but I'm some what sceptical about the whole "it's not a mental condition, it's physical," point. There are people who believe they are wrong age (adult babies) or the wrong species (otherkin), do they have a physical problem too?

are those in the DSM? Gender Dysphoria is, and was declassified now that deeper long term study has been done. It is not considered a mental disorder by the mental, and medical health community.

To be fair the adult babies (Paraphilic Infantilism [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilic_infantilism]) are a recognised disorder. I'm not a psychologist so I'm not going to pretend my opinions are worth that much but I am a biology student and so I've got to wonder what the biological basis for calling a transgenderism a physical disorder is when it mainly seems to affect the brain. There are developmental disorders based in the brain like autism or dyspraxia so perhaps it should more properly classed alongside those.

I misspoke i guess it's a chemical one i guess. I don't know exactly..it's definitely not BDD or anything like that. I just know that the medical community no longer considers it a mental illness.

Fair enough, I have nothing against trangender people personally, my scientific side is just curious exactly how such a phenomena arises and what it should be classified as. To be honest I don't put much trust in the DSM since it's written by fallible humans and depends a lot on the society's attitudes and norms, hence why both homosexuality and gender dysphoria have been listed in the past.

 

[bananafishtoday]

But what does any of that have to do with being physically attracted to someone? I'm not attracted to 90-year old ladies either, it doesn't mean I think they're sub-human.

I can't force my body to be attracted to someone when I don't find them attractive. It is okay to not be sexually attracted to someone based on how they look. Maybe this makes me extremely shallow, but I guess I'm just that close-minded.

No, it's totally ok and perfectly natural to be attracted to people based on appearance. And if you find out someone you were attracted to is transwoman, and that's a dealbreaker for you, better to be honest.

What's not ok are pithy comments about how "if you're a guy you're a guy."

Why is this not okay? Why is it okay for transgenders to place so much importance on gender (why else would they get a sex change), but not for everyone else?

(Terminology note: "sex" refers to biological characteristics, while "gender" refers to cultural performances such as dress and behavior.)

Most transsexual people feel they were assigned the wrong gender at birth. More specifically, their gender (wlog, male) was assigned based on their primary sexual characteristics (penis), but genetics/prenatal hormone exposure resulted in brain development not in line with this (female). This is all pretty well-accepted in the medical community. The desire to transition is often (though not always) about bringing one's body in line with one's sex (brain) and gender (dress/behavior). Anna Anthropy's Dys4ia [http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/591565] is a short flash game detailing her experiences with transitioning. It's quite heartfelt and authentic.

It's not ok because...

a) They "place so much importance on gender" because it's their body and their brain. Your (not just you, but many people in this thread) opinion that they are not "real" men/women is unnecessary and uncalled for.

b) Trans* people are assaulted, raped, and murdered every day by people operating under the same logic that "if you're a guy you're a guy." This "opinion" is held by too many people in society and is not acceptable.

 

[mike1921]

Yea but my standards for how feminine they need to look would probably be higher than my standards for a natural born woman just because I don't want it on my mind at all times that I'm looking at them.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

EDIT: Also, to everyone in this thread who said 'I want to have children', would you date someone who can't have children for some reason, or just is very certain they don't want to?

I'm just wondering how many people use that as an excuse...

Yes, I would not start a serious relationship with anyone who didn't want or couldn't have children, it's that simple. To many people having a family is an important life goal and while adoption is an option, it takes years of jumping through hoops and most adoptive children take a different challenge to raise than biological kids since at the best they've experienced neglect and often much worse abuse.

OT: I would date for short-term if I found them attractive but for long-term, the lack of fertility would rule it out. People are free to choose their own gender and I will respect their choice but I'm some what sceptical about the whole "it's not a mental condition, it's physical," point. There are people who believe they are wrong age (adult babies) or the wrong species (otherkin), do they have a physical problem too?

are those in the DSM? Gender Dysphoria is, and was declassified now that deeper long term study has been done. It is not considered a mental disorder by the mental, and medical health community.

To be fair the adult babies (Paraphilic Infantilism [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilic_infantilism]) are a recognised disorder. I'm not a psychologist so I'm not going to pretend my opinions are worth that much but I am a biology student and so I've got to wonder what the biological basis for calling a transgenderism a physical disorder is when it mainly seems to affect the brain. There are developmental disorders based in the brain like autism or dyspraxia so perhaps it should more properly classed alongside those.

I misspoke i guess it's a chemical one i guess. I don't know exactly..it's definitely not BDD or anything like that. I just know that the medical community no longer considers it a mental illness.

Fair enough, I have nothing against trangender people personally, my scientific side is just curious exactly how such a phenomena arises and what it should be classified as. To be honest I don't put much trust in the DSM since it's written by fallible humans and depends a lot on the societies attitudes, hence why both homosexuality and gender dysphoria have been listed in the past.

I get what you're saying about the DSM, but that's how people determine what's a mental illness and what's not.. noone knows for sure, but i know how I feel... I am not dysphoric, I know what's up with me, and I am fixing it.

 

[Taccer]

Not cross dressing, because that's fun no matter who you are, but an physically/medically changed person.

I take offence to this. There are plenty of people who cross-dress, to varying degrees, who have perfectly sound relationships. It ain't just blokes in drag.