Critical Miss: Noobgrues

ultimateownage

This name was cool in 2008.
Feb 11, 2009
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The second I heard they added Zork I new I would be depressed the next day when the kids in my class would start talking about it, and rip on Zork. I was right.
Scrumpmonkey said:
You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought or any kind of reasoned choice.

I know people who have given up on Half Life 2 becuase it dosen't tell you exactly where to go and hold your hand and every monent. I mean Half Life 2 isn't exactly the least linier game in human history and they can't even cope with that. Nevermind that most people think if you aren't shooting at something RIGHT NOW the game is "Boring". I would love to see the results of a CoD head attempting to survive in the zone of exclusion. There's no regenerating health here boy, quite the opposite if you hit radiation.

I guess to get to a wider audience things need to be acessible and i do get that (that's the main point of motion controls, simplicity. but people MUST realise that for more complex tasks a controller/ M=KB are infinitely better) but there is 'acressible' and down right 'played for you'
You just perfectly described everyone I know in real life. (With the exception of two people.)
This is why I refuse to get Facebook, because then these people would just annoy me even more when they see what I do in my spare time, and think I'm a loser for liking good games. Thank god they don't have Steam, they're too busy playing Call Of Duty and Halo religiously.
 

KEM10

New member
Oct 22, 2008
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Bek359 said:
GeneticallyModifiedDucks said:
Did they really include Zork? I think this is some kind of Critical Miss joke I'm not getting (again x_x)
Indeed they did include Zork. I have absolutely no idea why.
I have been wondering the same thing. Unless they had extra space on the disk and needed to make it look like they didn't rip you off. You know, like with CDs that have 15 minutes of silence after the last song.

Also, replay value.
 

WanderingFool

New member
Apr 9, 2009
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Grue.....



[sub]I apologieze if this offends anyone, but I needed a pivture of "shaking fist in anger" and this is what popped up.[/sub]
 

archvile93

New member
Sep 2, 2009
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Scrumpmonkey said:
You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought
Ah yes the classic creative thought method of clicking random inventory items on random things in the environment in the hopes something will happen because you already tried the things that made sense and they didn't work. And who could forget the classic 'you missed the all important item that there was no indication of it mattering or even that you could pick it up and now you can't go back and get it so the game is unwinnable. have fun starting back at the beginning asshole! Oh, and were not going to tell you where you screwed up either, or even that you screwed up at all.'
 

fanklok

Legendary Table User
Jul 17, 2009
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No amount of multiple zombie shooting, good advertising, and classic text games are going to make me buy this... ohh fuck it. You win Treyarch I'll get it later today.
 

Delusibeta

Reachin' out...
Mar 7, 2010
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archvile93 said:
Scrumpmonkey said:
You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought
Ah yes the classic creative thought method of clicking random inventory items on random things in the environment in the hopes something will happen because you already tried the things that made sense and they didn't work. And who could forget the classic 'you missed the all important item that there was no indication of it mattering or even that you could pick it up and now you can't go back and get it so the game is unwinnable. have fun starting back at the beginning asshole! Oh, and were not going to tell you where you screwed up either, or even that you screwed up at all.'
You've been playing Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy, then.
 

archvile93

New member
Sep 2, 2009
2,564
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Delusibeta said:
archvile93 said:
Scrumpmonkey said:
You average Cod player is barely adequatly equipped to do up his own fly, i don't think 90% of the CoD audience will be aware adventure games ever existed, nevermind text adventure games or something demanding creative thought
Ah yes the classic creative thought method of clicking random inventory items on random things in the environment in the hopes something will happen because you already tried the things that made sense and they didn't work. And who could forget the classic 'you missed the all important item that there was no indication of it mattering or even that you could pick it up and now you can't go back and get it so the game is unwinnable. have fun starting back at the beginning asshole! Oh, and were not going to tell you where you screwed up either, or even that you screwed up at all.'
You've been playing Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy, then.
King's Quest and Space Quest actually. My dad had a few that a tried, I didn't like them. Text games are even worse.

Example: The door to the room I'm in is locked, there is a key on the table.
Me: take key
Game: I can't do that
M: Get key
G: I can't do that
M: Grab key
G: I can't do that
M (starting to get annoyed): pick up key
G: I can't do that
M: Why won't this fucking thing work!? *thinks for a moment* walk over to table
G: You are now in arms reach of the key
M: pick up key
G: I can't do that (I didn't word it right most likely)
M: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!
 

The Great JT

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Oct 6, 2008
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This is why I hate the average FPS player. They can quicksnipe a dude from 300 yards off but they can't equip a +1 Helm.
 

Fetzenfisch

New member
Sep 11, 2009
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KEM10 said:
Bek359 said:
GeneticallyModifiedDucks said:
Did they really include Zork? I think this is some kind of Critical Miss joke I'm not getting (again x_x)
Indeed they did include Zork. I have absolutely no idea why.
I have been wondering the same thing. Unless they had extra space on the disk and needed to make it look like they didn't rip you off. You know, like with CDs that have 15 minutes of silence after the last song.

Also, replay value.

Well if they had just extra space, they could add about every Text-Adventure ever made.
You know they wont be bigger than 200KB each
 

HentMas

The Loneliest Jedi
Apr 17, 2009
2,650
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...

ok... is it wrong i want to buy black-ops just to play Zork???

i mean, i have never played it, but i love text based adventures.

...
...

I´ll be over here looking for Zork on the net.
 

theSovietConnection

Survivor, VDNKh Station
Jan 14, 2009
2,418
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Bek359 said:
GeneticallyModifiedDucks said:
Did they really include Zork? I think this is some kind of Critical Miss joke I'm not getting (again x_x)
Indeed they did include Zork. I have absolutely no idea why.
There is Zork to be had?

*runs off to play Zork*