Criticize Your All Time Favorite Game...HARSHLY

[The_State]

Okay, this sounds like fun. I've been recently playing Suikoden 2, and can admit that it's not a perfect experience.

Not a lot of people have played this game apparently, probably because it had a limited print run in the states(official numbers not public, but less than 100k). What the hell, Konami? They shouldn't have released a freaking Playstation RPG a month before Final Fantasy VIII came out in the first place, then maybe someone would have played their game.

Lord knows the game could have done with a couple extra weeks of localization. There are no genuine "all your base" moments, but the translation is mediocre at best, laughable at worst. I mean, what's with the first letter of Suikoden 1's hero's name? You couldn't just call him "McDohl", you had to base it off of the first letter of whatever first name the player gave him? That is dumb and unnecessary, and dumb. And dumb.

Then there's the whole issue with not giving the player anything even remotely resembling clear directions as to what to do or where to go next. It's not like it's an open-ended game where one path is just as good as the next. There IS a definite next destination in most cases, but the game is reluctant to divulge such sensitive information. I've beaten the game three times, and I still get confused at a couple points in the beginning.

And dumb!

Okay, that's it. Seriously, though; best game I've played on the PS1. Not the best game I've played, but definitely my favorite.

 

[Ninjat_126]

I fail to see the fun bit of that, but I'll play along.

DARK SOULS

- Shit gets too easy after you reach level 110.

Further:

- Elemental weapons are as broken as a Bethesda RPG. *
- Dark Wood Grain Ring + Havel's Ring = Indestructible Ninja Flipping Tank **
- Frame rate gets choppy.
- Lack of proper dueling bosses, most are just big things you stab in the feet.
- Online play is pretty much all lag.
- Dickwraiths. ***
- Legendary difficulty drops dramatically in late-game.
- Invisible bridges, pitch black rooms, deathtraps and pits everywhere.
- THE FUCKING ANOR LONDO ARCHERS. ****

* That is, horribly flawed but nowhere near entirely worthless.
** The DWGR has been patched, I believe, so this might not be a problem anymore.
*** Player base problem, not game problem.
**** But I'd miss them if they were to go!

 

[Pink Gregory]

Earthbound:
- Having to spend money to save the game is unreasonable, yet hilarious.

Ness's dad must have been rolling in it, all the money he sends. Would explain why you never see him.

He might have just disowned me when I declared my favourite food to be 'pussy'.

I'm almost ashamed that I did that. Almost.

 

[Mister K]

So... FFX again. The worst things about this game are:
1) Main characters design
2) Kimahris lack of his own development tree
3) The fact that you must use every character at least once in battle in order to level them all up
4) Unnecesary, meaningless dialogue options
5) Some of sigil challenges are ridiculous.
Still, my favorite game of all times.

 

[RomanceIsDead]

Ocarina of time sucks
It has shitty graphics and the text in cutscenes take too long.

I played it on an emulator last summer it was the shit...I almost finished it and plan on doing so this year.

 

[waj9876]

Steambot Chronicles...Oh god it pains me to do this. How painful? I would totally do OP's joke if Steambot Chronicles was a person. I would tie her up, keep her with me forever, and never let her out of my embrace until we starved to death. We would be two corpses rotting in that bunker. Forever. I love the game that much.

Steambot Chronicles is too simple for it's time, the graphics are sub-par, the gameplay is slow and clunky, the voice acting is horrible, and honestly, when I first heard Connie's songs I hated them, they made my ears bleed (Don't get me fucking started on Fennel's song...), and the story was kind of bad...

The characters. Vanilla is boring and average, Connie is over-cutsified just to appeal to the player, the band members were just...bleh. Savory and Fennel in particular seemed like failed fanservice. And the villain...Oh god, the villain. His entire reason for doing what he does can be summed up as "WAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAH! MY LITTLE BROTHER WAS KILLED IN AN ACCIDENT! I shall now start a terrorist organization and kill hundreds, if not thousands of people who were completely unrelated to his death! What? I do TOO HAVE A TROUBLED BACKSTORY! Wait, why do by former friends hate me now? I only tried to kill them a little. WAAAH! WAAAH!

And finally, despite all the choices you are presented, there are only two endings. And they only differ slightly, and you never actually see the difference as it cuts that part of the ending out to make way for a bullshit "Find Connie!" game, that if you made even the slightest wrong move throughout the game, you could glitch it and never be able to finish.

And I fucking love every minute of it.

 

[GrimHeaper]

Okami.

It's already a rather long game, it wasn't really necessary to have a room devoted to fighting all the bosses again to pad it out -_-


...

...

That's all I can think of

Right at the end?
I never understood why, but it kind of makes sense.
He's the darkness that caused all of it and its like a walk through memory lane.
Would be rather anticlimactic to go HERE THE FINAL BOSS instead of the way they did it.

 

[Lord Quirk]

MGS3
-The inability to move and shoot at the same time is stupid and inexcusable.
-Getting every camo, food and facepaint can and will feel like a grind.
-Lip-Synching is non-existant
-The End, provided your fighting him properly (i.e. not shooting him prematurely or letting him simply die of old age), takes too bloody long.
-Also, that bit when you have to kidnap Raikov is really hard if you don't know what you're doing.
That's all, I think.

 

[debtcollector]

Shadow of the Colossus:
-Horse Controls can be horrible.
-Final colossus is phoned in.
-Strategy for Colossus #12 is poorly implemented.
-Colossi #10 and #14 can stun-lock you.
-Physics can wonk up (particularly on #13)
-Little incentive for New Game+ (didn't stop me from doing it again a thousand times anyway)

Final Fantasy X:
-Laughing
-Voice acting in general is pretty meh.
-Kimahri's negligible combat value.
-Ultimate weapons are practically unobtainable.
-Nobody cared about Jecht's facial model.
-Half-hour series of post-final bosses that hold no tension owing to the fact that they cannot kill you
---Related: 20-second unskippable autolife animations.
-Blitzball is the worst.
-EDIT: Also unskippable cutscenes damn you Seymour Flux I can recite your prebattle taunts.

Okami:
-One of the slowest openings I've ever experienced.
-Issun, while charming, is annoying as hell.
---Related: Everyone spelling out every damn plot point a thousand times.
-Lack of enemy diversity.
-Power recycling (you got a water power! Now go get the fire, lightning, and ice powers that operate exactly the same way!)
-Kaguya doesn't get enough screen time or relevance at all.
-Kind of an unfulfilling ending.

Majora's Mask:
-Termina Field is tiny.
-Three-day mechanic makes entire game pretty stressful.
-Getting every mask pretty much requires outside help (I'm sorry, the Couple's Mask quest is obscenely frustrating).
-Underwhelming first and final bosses.
-Tingle. No forgiveness.

Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards:
-A bit easy, in retrospect.
-Some of the shard puzzles are unintuitive.
-Literally nothing else.

 

[Zeraki]

Mass Effect

-The Mako sections are ridiculously tedious and get old really really fast. It makes replaying the game a major chore.

-Texture popping... though that adds some kind of strange charm to the game, it does kind of ruin really epic moments.

-Liara's romance is so hilariously badly written. "We've known each other for maybe two hours since you saved me on Therum, and I'm the daughter of one of your arch nemeses... but I love you!"

-The inventory... that bloated inventory padded the game out almost as much as the Mako sections did. You spend more time micromanaging and driving around one of five copy pasted planet textures than actually progressing with the main plot. It's nice of Saren to wait for you to finish all your side quests before he decides to go to Illos. So much for a "race against time".

-A lot of the characters are kind of shallow when you go back and play through the game. It's especially noticeable with Tali, who is basically just a walking codex entry on Quarians. Liara is mostly just a walking codex on Asari and Protheans and doesn't get much development aside from when Benezia dies and her kind of forced romance.


-The combat is awful, and is another thing that really makes the game a chore in replays. The idea behind Mass Effect was something I had wanted to see for a really long time... a third person tactical based RPG/Shooter, and as such I hated the cover system. I thought it would have benefited the game greatly if it had a similar cover system to Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter or even Gears of War with a more tactical twist(which they eventually started to emulate in ME2/3). I did really like the cooldown feature in the guns though.

-Never ending stun locks when fighting against Biotic enemies. As soon as combat starts you can pretty much just get stuck plastered to the floor when knocked down by Biotics... and you can't do anything about it. It is especially frustrating on higher difficulty levels. "Oh hello Mr. Sniper. Why of course you can one shot kill me whilst I'm laying helplessly on the floor unable to defend myself thanks to your Biotic buddies!"

-"I will destroy you!" "Go go go go!" "You must die!" "Enemies everywhere!" "Gogogogo!" "Enemies everywhere!" "You must die!" "I will destroy you!" "Gogogogogo!" ARRRAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!

Spoiler

 

[The Sanctifier]

Would it be a little too easy if I picked Minecraft?

- Every update seems to introduce twice as many bugs as it fixes.
- The textures are glitchy as hell. Whenever new chunks are loaded up half the terrain is see-through.
- You can't actually explore that far until the game eats up memory and processing power by the gallon.
- Really sensitive compatibility issues with certain computer specs.
- Lost one of my worlds due to the fact (which has been fixed now) that its really easy to delete one of your save files.

And worst of all, I ended up losing my massive 50,000 cobblestone castle due to my main go suddenly slowing down to a complete halt.

Actually the worst part is the fact that this didn't even make me end up hating the game. Makes me feel like that one guy in Greek mythology who had to constantly carry a boulder up a hill in Hades only to have it fall down again.

 

[m19]

Planescape Torment is a good story but a shitty game.

 

[unindexedsearchengine]

Assassin's Creed II
Weird-ass ragdoll bugs
The people's hands looked ridiculous,seriously, Deus Ex had more convincing hands.
It's-a me, Mario!!! ( seriously, fuck that guy)

But the biggest problem is that the game overall is too good.It is doubtful that i will have as much fun and enjoyment with any other game ever. (haven't played 3 yet, since ubi support can't solve my CD-key issue, so screw that)

 

[Icyheart]

I don't have a single favorite out of these two, but...
Jak II: Story is practically nonexistent. Yeah, there's the whole revenge thing against Praxis and there's the Metal-Head invasion and some big monster thing in the beginning, but after the first few levels you start to forget why you're doing what you're doing, and even though the whole game is supposed to be centered around getting revenge on Praxis and the game is supposed to paint him as a ruthless tyrant who oppresses the masses, the game fails to explain exactly why he's so bad and there's very little oppression to be seen and this sentence is going on for a really long time and I should stop writing now.
Jak 3: The combat was a lot more fun with twelve guns instead of four and a Dark Jak mode you could turn off and on at will and a whole new set of locations to visit, and walking through the city fending off Metal-Heads and the KG Robots was a nice touch to add some color to Jak II's boring commute (and the citizens in Spargus shot you if you hit them). But, the story was so far-gone there were several moments I had to stop and think about exactly what the hell was going on. How did this whole KG thing start? Why are they working with the Metal-Heads? Why Errol, of all people? Why the role-change between Kira and Ashlen? (I'd go on but too many would spoil the plot)

 

[Shocksplicer]

Alan Wake

-Some of Alan's animations, like jumping and sprinting, are a bit silly.

-While the voice acting is almost universally excellent, the actress who played Alice Wake was pretty terrible. Fortunately she isn't in it much...

-Episode 6 is the only episode without any quiet spots where you can interact with other characters, being entirely made up of repeated action sequences

-Facial animations? What are those? Doesn't everyone just open and close their mouths repeatedly when talking, occaisionally forgetting to shut one's mouth when one stops talking?
.

 

[prophecy2514]

Metal Gear Solid 3

-Having to change camoflauge regularly enough to become a chore. Similar to the water temple iron boots switchup annoyance in zelda OoT

- Silly gun firing mechanics on PS2...Hold down L1 for first person, push square lightly to draw gun, push square hard and release to shoot. Seems silly. but its rather annoying and takes time to get used to, I'm glad this changed up in MGS4. Similar arguments to be made with CQC and the circle button, but meh explaining that.

-The usual wordy and unnecessarily long infamous MGS cutscenes are alive and well in snake eater, especially during virtuous mission.

- Injury/sickness items and their abundance. I love the injury system, but wow, naked snake can sure carry a lot of meds splints bandages, suture kits burn ointments etc, even at extreme difficulty. Same with the food, snake can carry around a ZOO in his backpack.

-another menu annoyance on the ps2. circle to enter, and x to cancel. Majority of games on ps2, circle is universally the cancel button. again its minor but its cumbersome getting used to menu control, becuse believe me you'll be going into the backpack menu lots.

-The mosin nagant can't be silenced...damn it...

MGS3
-The End, provided your fighting him properly (i.e. not shooting him prematurely or letting him simply die of old age), takes too bloody long.

But...but...but...it's such an epic struggle. the battle with the end is one of my favourite all time gaming experiences...

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Okami.

It's already a rather long game, it wasn't really necessary to have a room devoted to fighting all the bosses again to pad it out -_-


...

...

That's all I can think of

Dude... unskippable dialogue! Half of Okami is wonderful perfect gaming heaven, the other half is BLURGLE BLOO BLEEGLE BLURGLE BLOO BLEEGLE BLOO

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Okami.

It's already a rather long game, it wasn't really necessary to have a room devoted to fighting all the bosses again to pad it out -_-


...

...

That's all I can think of

Dude... unskippable dialogue! Half of Okami is wonderful perfect gaming heaven, the other half is BLURGLE BLOO BLEEGLE BLURGLE BLOO BLEEGLE BLOO

I notice it when I haven't played it in a while, but really, I just tune it out, so it's not even annoying

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Okami.

It's already a rather long game, it wasn't really necessary to have a room devoted to fighting all the bosses again to pad it out -_-


...

...

That's all I can think of

Dude... unskippable dialogue! Half of Okami is wonderful perfect gaming heaven, the other half is BLURGLE BLOO BLEEGLE BLURGLE BLOO BLEEGLE BLOO

I notice it when I haven't played it in a while, but really, I just tune it out, so it's not even annoying

Wish I could do that. If Okami had skippable dialogue I'd be on my third playthrough right now.

 

[sageoftruth]

Thief 2
- all the annoying mechanical robots that i had to waste water arrows to immobilize
-the metal cameras of which only some had off switches
-the final mission being about building some device instead of really using much sneaking
-some of the levels seemed way too long, i especially hated the submarine base mission it seemed more like a fan made one instead of a official one due to how ugly and uninspired the stage design was
-Victoria Dying
-Karras's laughable voice which makes it hard to believe that he was able to get a major following in the first place for his heretic version of the hammer temple

Also, the unreliability of getting around. Mantling didn't always work (and often punished you for failing) and getting on/off ladders was a chore that was easy to mess up at parts.